When Living is No Longer Enough
by Sci-Fi Nut
Summary: **COMPLETE** Epilogue now posted. Loose ends are tied up after the defeat of Voldemort. See chapter 1 for full story summary. R&R!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimers:  Obviously, credit for any recognizable characters in the HP realm belongs to J.K. Rowling.  No money is being made from the writing of this story.

Author's Note:  This is my first HP fanfic and my third fanfic overall (I usually write for Stargate-SG1).  Reviews are greatly appreciated as is literary critique and advice.  I reserve the right to owl flames to Gringott's where they may be stored indefinitely in one of the deepest, darkest, dankest vaults available.  This story is in response to the Angstier than Thou challenge issued at WIKTT  by Josie421.     

Summary:  Professor Snape has been discovered to be a spy for the Light and is now considered to be one of the top three most wanted on Voldemort's hit list (Next to Harry and Dumbledore, of course).  When Snape sees his usefulness in life at an end, can Hermione step in and convince him that living is always enough?

When Living Is No Longer Enough…

Chapter One

"I found 'im Headmaster," Hagrid shouted worriedly as he burst through the large double doors to the Castle.  "He was lyin' just on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest but he don't look too good there professor Dumbledore sir."

"Take him to the infirmary Hagrid," the old wizard said sadly as he looked at the battered and bloodied form of his potions master and long time friend.  "Tell Poppy that I'll be there shortly."

"How much more of this can he take Albus?" Minerva McGonagall asked quietly as she watched Hagrid's retreating form.

"I don't know Minerva" the Headmaster answered quietly, the twinkle that one could always count on finding in the old man's eyes now replaced with concern and sadness. "I told him not to answer Voldemort's summons tonight but as usual he insisted.  I fear Voldemort may have discovered where Severus' true loyalties lie."

"But if that's the case Albus, then why didn't they kill him?  Why leave him alive outside of Hogwarts?" the deputy headmistress asked in confusion.

"To serve as a warning Minerva," Albus Dumbledore answered as he removed his glasses and tiredly rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"A warning?" she questioned.  "But to whom?" 

"To me. I doubt very much that Voldemort planned for Severus to survive for any great length of time after he was returned to us.  It is a bad sign indeed as it means Voldemort and his Death Eaters are growing bolder and wish for us to know that they do not consider Hogwarts to be as much of a threat. We will need to strengthen the wards around the castle in the morning and perhaps we should consider canceling the upcoming student trip to Hogsmeade" he said as he ran through a mental checklist of the security measures that would have to be implemented as a result of the night's events.  Looking at the concerned face of his deputy he smiled and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.  "Do not worry Minerva, everything will be alright.  It is always better to be prepared for the worst on the slight chance that it happens then to be caught with one's robes blowing in the wind, so to speak.  I will be in the infirmary should you need me.  In the meantime, please ask Professor Granger if she wouldn't mind taking over Severus' classes tomorrow."

"Yes Albus" the transfiguration professor said as they both departed the entryway to their separate destinations.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The scene that greeted Albus Dumbledore as he entered the infirmary was becoming a painfully familiar one.  Madam Pomfrey was busily fussing over the unconscious potions master and murmuring various healing charms as she shook her head in disgust at the inhumanity of the Death Eaters actions.

"How is he Poppy?" the Headmaster asked quietly as he walked over to the hospital bed and observed the unmoving form of Severus Snape.  

"He's lucky to be alive at all," the medi-witch answered sharply as she discovered yet another bundle of bruises and lacerations just below the left side of his ribcage.  "From what I've been able to discern so far, I'd say he was trampled by a herd of hippogriffs.  He has several broken ribs, a broken wrist, a punctured lung, numerous cuts and abrasions and minute swelling to the cranial cavity.  He is also experiencing small seizures which I would guess to be the after-effects of the Cruciatus.  I'll know more in a little while and I'll need to observe him for a few days to make certain that there isn't anything more serious than what I've already found but I'll tell you one thing Albus.  It's a good thing that Hagrid found him when he did or else we may very well have lost him this time.  I don't think his body can take much more of this type of abuse."

"I know Poppy" Dumbledore answered wearily as he turned to look out the large window by the hospital bed.  'Everything seems so tranquil and peaceful' he thought to himself as he stared over the grounds of the castle that were bathed in the warm glow of the moonlit sky.  'And yet, the pure simplicity and beauty would lull one into thinking that the dangers of the dark were no more…'

The wizened wizard was shaken out of his reverie when he heard the medi-witch mutter "enervate" to bring her patient back to consciousness.  As Snape's eyelids began to flutter open she once again began passing her wand over him taking readings and assuring herself that there weren't any additional injuries or complications than those already identified.

The first thing Severus noticed as his eyes began to focus on his surroundings was the dull light emitted from the flickering candles placed on the bedside table.  The second thing he noticed was the concerned face of the headmaster and the final thing that snapped him back to full alertness was the small medi-witch hovering over him.   "Stop that foolish wand waving woman!" Severus exclaimed impatiently as he attempted to pull himself into a sitting position.    

"Well" Madam Pomfrey huffed, "the least you could do is say thank you and if that's too hard for you to manage in your weakened state then silence would do just as well."

"Poppy" Albus interrupted raising his hand calmly in a placating gesture. "I'm sure Severus is still a little disoriented by the events of this evening.  Give him a few moments and I'm sure he'll be back to his usual charming self," the headmaster said which elicited a sardonic "Hmmf" from both medic and patient alike. 

"He knows Albus," Snape said with a resigned air of defeat.  "Voldemort knows that I've been working as a spy for the Order."

"I assumed as much given the extent of your injuries and the fact that they left you just outside of Hogwart's perimeter" the Headmaster replied sadly as he shook his head in sorrow for the position in which he had to place his friend.

"It would seem that my usefulness, for lack of a better word, to you and the Order is at an end," the Potions Master stated quietly, staring unblinkingly at some unidentified point behind the Headmaster's shoulder.  

"Nonsense, old friend" Dumbledore replied.  "There are still many ways in which you can be of service to the Light."

"Perhaps you didn't hear what I just told you old man," Severus said in the silkiest of voices. "Voldemort knows that I betrayed him.  I have no doubt that he intended my demise this evening and when he discovers that I didn't have the good grace to lay down and die like the obedient lapdog that I supposedly was then he will most definitely take action to remedy the fact.   As soon as I step outside of the castle grounds then I am as good as dead."

"Which is why," the Headmaster interrupted Snape's tirade while fixing him with a gaze that clearly stated he would listen to no arguments from the younger man, "you won't be leaving the grounds any time in the near future." 

"I am not an animal to be kept in a cage Albus," Severus exclaimed angrily.  "I cannot stay tucked away hiding in my dungeons for the next several years waiting for that Potter brat and his friends to save the free world from Voldemort.  It is unreasonable to say the least.  Not to mention impractical."

"Perhaps, but at the moment it is our only option.  You cannot leave the grounds.  I will not allow it.  It is bad enough that you are not entirely safe here at Hogwarts for I fear that several of the children have been compromised either through their loyalties to their parents who serve Voldemort or through their taking of the dark mark itself."  

"Don't remind me of those children which I have failed Albus," Snape said quietly closing his eyes and remembering the initiation ceremony that took place only a few months back.  Several of his seventh year Slytherins had been initiated into Voldemort's ranks of Death Eaters along with a few other students from Ravenclaw and even a few of Hogwart's recent alumni.

"You take far too much credit for that which is not your own doing Severus," the old wizard said placing a hand on his shoulder, causing the potions master to look up into the tired blue eyes of his longtime friend.  "You alone are not to blame for their choices and neither is anyone else.  All we can do is offer our guidance and support but in the end it is up to each student to decide what path their life must take." 

"Even if that path is to lead them directly to Hell?" he replied bitterly.

"Even then my friend," the Headmaster returned solemnly. "I know that Poppy would like to keep you here in the infirmary for the next couple of days for observation" Dumbledore said changing the tone and direction of their conversation.  Seeing Snape's expression and predicting the arguments that the young man was about throw out, he continued on.  "However, knowing your preference for solitude, I think that it might be alright to let you recuperate in the comforts of your own chambers provided that you use that time to rest."

"That will not be possible Albus lest you forget that I have classes to teach in the morning.  Merlin forbid I miss another lively and stimulating gathering of double potions class with Gryffindor and Slytherin," he drawled in his most sarcastic tone of voice.  

"Professor Granger will be availing herself of the joys of your double potions class Severus and she will fill in for you over the next couple of days as well" the Headmaster replied knowing that nothing would get Snape on the road to recovery faster than the thought of Hermione stepping into his territory.

"The _Professor _has her own classes to attend to.  Her _assistance _will not be necessary," the young man hissed as he attempted to stand and gather his wand and his cloak. 

"Nevertheless Severus, her assistance will be _required_ as will be your recuperation.  Otherwise I will allow Poppy to order you to stay here under observation until she is certain that you are back to good health," the Headmaster answered in a tone that spoke of finality.

"Just think of it Severus," the medi-witch joined in the conversation with a mischievous glint in her eyes, "you and I will have _days _to spend together with nothing to do but catch up on old times."

The Headmaster nearly laughed aloud as he viewed Snape's facial expression of sheer horror at the thought of being confined to the infirmary for an indeterminable amount of time with nothing to do but reminisce on days gone by.

"Very well," Snape replied in the most scathing tone he could muster given his current physical condition, "but if that know-it-all messes with my stores or lesson plans then she will rue the day she ever received her Hogwart's letter."

"I wouldn't worry too much about that Severus.  Although Hermione is our resident charms expert, don't forget that she graduated with a double degree in both charms and potions as well as a minor in arithmancy.  Why, if she weren't a Gryffindor, I think you might even respect her knowledge in the potions field" he said unable to resist teasing his friend just a little over the ongoing rivalry between the Slytherin and Gryffindor houses. 

"Poppy will assist you in settling into your own rooms for the evening and we will both be checking on your progress over the next few days.  Don't hesitate to ask should you need anything," Dumbledore concluded as he bid his friend and the medi-witch a good evening and returned to his own quarters.

After the Headmaster had left the infirmary, Severus stood up and walked to the fireplace where he grabbed a handful of floo powder from a small brass container sitting on the mantle.  Tossing a handful of the fine powder into the fireplace he stepped in and announced "Snape's chambers" and disappeared from the medical ward.    

   ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimers listed in chapter one.  Nothing has changed.  It's still not mine!

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Two

"…and so we were hoping that you might agree to take over Severus' classes tomorrow and perhaps for the next several days if necessary," Minerva concluded as she looked to Hermione and awaited her answer. 

"Well, taking over his classes tomorrow won't be a problem as I only have the seventh year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs in the afternoon but what about the next couple of days? I have several classes that run concurrently with Professor Snape's classes throughout the remainder of the week," Hermione asked.

"Albus will take over any charms classes that are in direct conflict with the potions classes so you needn't worry about that," the transfigurations professor assured her. 

"Of course I'll do it," Hermione answered biting nervously on her bottom lip "but I don't think that Professor Snape will be too happy about any of this.  I mean, I don't remember him missing a class even once in the entire seven years that I was a student here and he hasn't missed any classes in the past two years that I've been teaching here either.  Not to mention the fact that it's _me _of all people that will be invading his dungeons."

"I wouldn't worry too much about all of that dear," her mentor said coming to sit beside the young woman and patting her hand in a well-meant gesture of comfort.  Severus doesn't dislike you any more than he dislikes the rest of us." 

"Well, that makes me feel a _whole _lot better," the young Gryffindor muttered as an amused grin lit her petite facial features.   "The man has barely spoken a dozen words to me the entire time since I returned to Hogwart's and I swear that he goes out of his way to avoid me entirely.  I mean honestly, can you imagine him being pleased when he hears of this arrangement?"

"I can't imagine Severus being pleased about much of anything other than deducting House points, especially from Gryffindor, however I still maintain that he will adjust to your stepping in for a couple of days at most," Minerva replied as she stood up from the small couch and crossed the room to the door. "Just don't expect any words of thanks from him," she said with a glint of amusement in both her eyes and voice.  

"Are you kidding?  I'd give better odds that the Slytherin and Gryffindor houses will become best friends before that would ever happen" the young witch laughed but almost immediately sobered as she asked, "Professor, he will be alright won't he?" 

"I hope so," McGonagall answered quietly.  "I just don't know how much more of all of this he can take without…"

"I know, but surely this means that Voldemort has discovered that he's a spy? I mean, he can't seriously consider going back after all of this can he?" the once head girl asked worriedly.  

"I don't see how he can and I can't imagine Albus letting him attend any more summons after what happened tonight" her former professor replied "but Severus is as stubborn and hard headed as they come.  He would have made a good Gryffindor in that respect but don't you dare tell him I said so!" she said smiling.

"No, Gryffindor would be negative house points for the next several years if he were to ever hear of such a thing" Hermione said chuckling at the very thought of her former potions master's face at receiving such a _compliment _from anyone.  "It's just that with all he's done for the Light, we'll be hard pressed without the information he's provided over the years.  Yet, if he continues like this he'll get himself killed and I wouldn't want to see something like that happen…" her voice trailed off as she was suddenly filled with a sense of loss at the thought of him no longer being around to instill fear into students found out after curfew or to deduct house points or make snide comments in that dark silky voice… Pulling back from whatever unknown place she had just digressed to, Hermione looked to the transfigurations professor and simply shrugged her shoulders as she tried to convey her thoughts.

"I understand," Minerva said kindly.  "We would all miss Severus' cranky demeanor if something were to happen.  We'll just have to maintain a close eye on him and ensure that he remains out of harm's way.  Of course we'll have to see to it that he doesn't know that we're keeping an eye on him" she added smiling.  "Goodnight dear and thank you."

It was several minutes after Minerva McGonagall had left that Hermione realized she was still standing in the open doorway lost somewhere in her thoughts.  Closing the door, she undressed and snuggled under the covers on the large four-poster mahogany bed and thought about the following day.  'Double potions class with the Slytherins and Gryffindors she thought to herself wryly 'now there's an experience I had hoped never to repeat once I left my student days behind.' But it wasn't the classes or house rivalries that caused her forehead to crease in worry and confusion.  It was the unmistakable feeling of foreboding that settled over her.  A feeling that something very bad was about to happen and while she couldn't say exactly what she thought that might be, she could say one thing with absolute certainty.  It had everything to do with Severus Snape. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus woke the next morning to the sounds of china clinking on a silver tray as it was placed carefully on his dresser by an elderly house-elf.  The smell of scones, bacon and eggs filled the room and he noticed a copy of the Daily Prophet resting by the side of the tray, neatly folded and awaiting his perusal. 

Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, he sighed when he realized that it was after nine in the morning.  'That infernal excuse of a medic must have slipped some dreamless sleep potion in my tea last night' he thought in disgust as he shakily made his way to the bathroom to begin his morning cleansing rituals.  Half an hour later he immerged clad in a black silk robe and was busily towel drying his hair. Failing to notice the figure standing in the corner, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a familiar voice.

"Good morning Severus," the headmaster said cheerfully as he carefully scrutinized his friend to determine his current state of health. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'd feel a damn sight better if you'd stop creeping up on me," the potions master grumbled.  "One would think that someone would have taught you to knock prior to entering a person's chambers somewhere along the line in the last one hundred and fifty years."

Laughing at the intended rebuke on his manners, Dumbledore merely replied, "I did call over but when you didn't answer I decided that it might be prudent to investigate and make certain that you were indeed alright."

"Well as you can see, I am just fine Albus.  Now stop hovering over me like some damnable mother hen and leave me in peace.  It's bad enough that I am consigned to my room like some errant child without having to worry about everyone popping in and invading my personal space whenever the urge strikes," the younger man groused.

"Hmmmm, scones, eggs, bacon, coffee, tea, juice…  It looks like the house-elves decided to present you with a sampling of this morning's entire breakfast menu" he said handing a mug of black coffee to his friend.

"If nothing else, it gives them something to do," Snape muttered but gratefully accepted the steaming mug of coffee as he sank down into one of the plush brown leather chairs nearest the fire.  

"You realize that the staff is worried about you don't you?  We _invade _your space only because we care about your well-being," Albus said as he pulled a lemon drop out of his pocket and dropped it into his mouth.  

"I very much doubt that.  I have given them no reason to concern themselves with such foolish sentimentality and I daresay their lives would have proceeded as normal whether I had lived or died last night," Snape said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice as he reached for a scone. 

"You can't really believe that Severus," Dumbledore exclaimed in dismay as he carefully studied the blank expression on the younger man's face.  "In addition to being one of our biggest allies in the fight against Voldemort, we all consider you to be a friend and I am certain that none of us would be either pleased or indifferent had the worst actually happened last night."

Severus looked at his long time friend and carefully surveyed the aged blue eyes that usually contained the look of several lifetimes worth of wisdom and was astonished to find that they now held emotions of sorrow and dismay.   He knew that Albus cared about him in terms of his importance to the resistance but it never ceased to amaze him that the older man could consider him to be of importance in any other capacity, especially that of a friend.  After all, the wizened wizard was the one person who truly knew of the despicable acts and unforgivable atrocities that he had committed during the few short years in which he had served as one of Voldemort's most loyal Death Eaters. 

"Alright, so maybe you would miss me but I can't imagine it of anyone else," he relented. "And how in Merlin's name do you expect me to serve the Light now that Voldemort is aware of my duplicity?  I can't very well do much spying imprisoned within the castle now can I?"

"You might be surprised at what you can do and at all of those who would be willing to help you if you would only allow them to do so" the headmaster replied quietly knowing that he must tread cautiously as Snape was in no mood to hear, let alone believe, that he still played a valuable part in the lives of those around him and to those in the wizarding world as a whole.

"What can I do?" Severus asked resignedly knowing that Albus must have something in mind if he was going to so much trouble to convince him of his own self-worth.  

"Potions, for one thing.  You are the one of the most revered potions masters in the entire wizarding world.  Can you honestly sit there and tell me that you would not be of use to the Order when you have such well-honed skills and talents?  Can you honestly not see the possibilities of research in the potions field?  Research that one day may be able to help fight off unforgivables or that might even be used against Voldemort himself to bring about his eventual downfall? What about your knowledge of the Dark Arts or even your knowledge of Voldemort himself? Do you honestly think that these things could not aid us in our struggle against the dark?" the headmaster asked incredulously wondering exactly what could be going on in the troubled mind of his friend.  

"I don't know Albus, but I will consider your words.  In the meantime, I have to prepare for next weeks' lessons.  Although I imagine that I needn't bother as I will probably find myself in need of repeating this weeks' lessons since Granger is instructing my students even as we speak," the potions master retorted.

"Hermione is a good person Severus and an excellent teacher.  Perhaps if you would let yourself see beyond her years as a student in your classroom than you would be able to see these traits for yourself," Dumbledore said quietly.

"She's an absolute know-it-all and doesn't miss an opportunity to flaunt that fact," Snape returned with a snarl.

"She _was _a know-it-all Severus, but she is not so any longer.  It couldn't have been easy for her to be thrown into a world in which she knew absolutely nothing about.  She was alone and felt a need to prove herself.  Especially considering the taunts and jibes that people like Draco Malfoy constantly threw out at her regarding her parentage," the older man answered.

"She was never alone, she always had Potter and Weasley running around her like some damnable defense team," Severus said remembering back to Hermione's school days when the only time she could be found away from the Boy-Who-Must-Be-Glorified and his hot-tempered side-kick was when she was studying in the library.   

"That was a long time ago Severus.  She is an adult now.  Harry is attending to his Auror duties and barely gets the time to owl let alone _visit_ Hermione and Ron has been so tied up with the latest investigations into muggle attacks that the same holds true for him.  She is quite knowledgeable in the field of potions and whilst you may not choose to verbalize this fact, you may want to consider that she could be of assistance to you should you decide to take up researching in the additional spare time which you now find yourself faced with" Albus said as he stood to take his leave.  "Perhaps it is time to leave the past…in the past, not only for Hermione's sake, but for your own as well."

Severus sat there staring into the fireplace that now housed the remnants of a fire that had all but died out.  "_Perhaps it is time to leave the past in the past_" the headmaster had said.  'But how is one supposed to do that when there is physical evidence that blaringly stares you in the face on a daily basis reminding you of every foul deed you've ever done and every bad decision you had the foolish misfortune to make?' he questioned himself as he rolled up the sleeve of his bathrobe and stared at the faded outline of the dark mark.  'How can I leave such things in the past knowing that no matter what good I attempt it will never be enough to make up for the evil I once embraced?' he thought dejectedly.  Pondering over these thoughts, Snape was surprised to find that several hours had gone by when he looked up to see a house-elf delivering his afternoon meal.  

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 TBC


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer:  See chapter one. Same old verse, same old chorus! 

When Living is No Longer Enough…

Chapter Three

To say that Hermione was not having a good day would have been the understatement of the year.   She had found Professor Snape's class notes and syllabus neatly tucked away in his desk drawer and proceeded to lead the class in the making of an aging potion that would wear off by mid afternoon.  Until then Hogwarts would be boasting some very mature looking seventh year students.  One boy in particular, Ryan Dallon, had made the mistake of adding too many unicorn hairs and now looked like he could pass for his father's brother rather than for a seventh year student and another student didn't add enough powdered dragon's claw causing her skin to pucker and pull as the aging potion attempted to perform its magic. That student was currently visiting with Madam Pomfrey in the infirmary.  However, that was the least of her headaches during the double potions class.  'You would think that after so many years of house rivalry that the school would simply stop trying to pair up Slytherins and Gryffindors' Hermione thought in frustration.  Unfortunately, this had not been the case and in an effort to promote toleration between the rival houses, the headmaster had seen fit to continue with the tradition of pairing the students in class.  

"How does Snape manage?" she muttered aloud as she searched through her desk drawer for an anti-headache potion. 'No wonder he was always grumpy in class' she thought to herself as she found the small vial filled with a deep purple colored liquid and hurriedly downed it in one swallow.  'Not that I'd ever tell him that he may have been slightly justified in his cranky demeanor.' 

Sitting at her desk in her own classroom she began reviewing her notes for the day's lesson. It was to be a fairly challenging lesson detailing several aspects of invisibility charms and, thankfully, didn't include any Slytherins or Gryffindors.  'I never thought I'd be so happy to see a class full of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs' she thought to herself as the seventh year students began entering the room and taking their seats.  Two hours later she found herself back in the dungeons teaching the last potions class of the day.  A group of Hufflepuff second years that were actually very quiet and well behaved and amazingly didn't knock over any ingredients or blow up any cauldrons. Memories of Neville Longbottom invariably came back to her whenever she thought of exploding cauldrons and today was no exception. Giving the class their homework, which was a three-foot essay detailing the four most popular types of stomach potions, she dismissed the students and straightened up the classroom.  Just as she was about to leave and make her way to Professor Snape's quarters to confer with him over the following day's lessons she noticed a young sixth year girl standing in the doorway hesitantly glancing her way.

"Can I help you Miss Saunton?" she asked the blond haired, blue-eyed Slytherin.  

The petite girl looked nervously behind her into the hallway and then entered the classroom.  Looking around she asked quietly, "Is Professor Snape here?"

"No, he's taken ill and will be out for the next few days.  I'll be covering his classes in the meantime.  Can I help you with something, maybe?" Hermione asked kindly noticing the girl's nervous disposition. 

"No thank you Professor Granger.  I just needed to talk with Professor Snape about something but I guess it can wait.  Thank you," she replied with a small smile and hurriedly exited the classroom. 

'That seemed a little odd,' the young witch thought to herself with concern  'She seems so nervous which is odd in itself since most Slytherins usually walk around as if they own the place.  I hope she's alright.'   Temporarily placing her concerns regarding the young Slytherin aside, she exited the dungeons and made her way toward the potions master's chambers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

To the average observer, Hermione Granger looked calm and collected as she neared the personal rooms assigned to Severus Snape.  This would prove to be the biggest illusion of all time because the truth of the matter, in the simplest of terms, was that the man scared her to death.  He didn't scare her in a way in which she might fear for her life or that some indefinable harm might befall her.  In fact, the exact opposite was true.  She truly respected the man and for reasons still unknown to even herself, trusted him implicitly.  She didn't fear him for his dark menacing glances or snide comments.  No, she liked the dark, brooding, mysteriousness of the man and she truly enjoyed his quick sardonic wit and the way in which she was usually able to match him remark for remark.  No, she was merely scared that he would never be able to see beyond her school days and notice the young woman that she had become rather than the over-eager, know-it-all student that she had once been.  

'Gods this is crazy,' she muttered to herself in disgust. 'I've had a crush on this man for how long and he can't even stand me, barely acknowledges that I exist and probably wishes nothing more than that I were a student again so he could deduct house points. Why can't I ever be attracted to the nice ones that pay you compliments day in and day out and whose greatest ambition in life is to be able to sleep late on the weekends?' 

Brushing off her negative thoughts she took one last deep breath and reached up to knock on the heavily warded door of the potions master's quarters.  Moments later she found herself standing face to face with the man who had gradually taken up residence in her dreams over the past few years.  

"Professor Snape," she began, praying to whichever deity who might be listening, that she sounded more confident than she actually felt. "I was hoping that I might speak with you for a few minutes regarding your lesson plans for the next few days. That is, if you feel up to it of course."

Severus Snape did not like company and visitations from anyone were not highly encouraged so it was with great surprise that he opened the door to find himself staring at the young woman who had been the bane of his existence for far too many years.  'It wasn't bad enough that she haunted me for seven years with her incessant hand raising and traipsing around after Potter and Weasley, or secretly brewing potions that were far too advanced for children her age and could have caused her irreparable harm, but now she had to grow up and return to plague me all over again,' he thought viciously to himself and mentally grimaced as he stared at the young woman standing nervously before him.  'Never mind the fact that she's hailed as one of the brightest witches of her generation _or_ that somewhere along the line she lost the buck teeth and that frizzball of a head of hair had turned into the most gorgeous, silky mane of soft chestnut curls he had ever seen _or_ that she had a smile that lit up any room she walked in to _or_ that a person could get lost in those soft brown eyes indefinitely…  That's right.  NEVER MIND ALL OF THAT!' he all but screamed to himself. The fact was that she still managed to disturb his thoughts in one fashion or other even though he had gone out of his way to avoid her since she had returned to Hogwarts two years ago. 

"Professor Granger, don't tell me that one day with my potions classes has proven too much for you already?" he sneered.  "And here I was assured that you would have no problems at all.  Where is that perseverance and tenacity that you Gryffindors so often boast about?"

"May I come in or would you like to see how tenacious I can truly be?" she asked with a false sweetness that was underlined with a hint of steel. It was a tone of voice that her closest friends had learned to be wary of as it usually meant her temper was within a heartbeat of exploding.  

Snape eyed her momentarily as if seriously considering her question.  Having taught her in classes for so many years he had become familiar with the various degrees of Hermione Granger's temper and while he admittedly took joy in provoking people simply because he could, he would have to admit, and only to himself, that he took exceptional delight in pushing She-Who-Knows-It-All to the limits of her patience.  After all, hadn't she done the very same thing to him for seven years straight with her never-ending parade of questions?  At least, that was his reasoning initially.  Now, he found that he provoked her because she could be counted on to give as good as she got and he truly enjoyed a good sparring match every now and then.  Most people couldn't match his rapier sharp wit and those that stood a chance usually were too afraid to risk angering Hogwart's evil potions master.  'Plus, she looks absolutely breathtaking when she's all riled up' he thought to himself and then frowned as he pushed the unwanted thought aside.

"By all means do come in Professor," Snape answered smoothly. "After all, we wouldn't want to see you standing in the corridor all night long now would we?"

"You know Professor, there are times when I truly believe that you really are the insolent, arrogant, obnoxious excuse for a Slytherin that I believed you to be during my student years" Hermione said as her temper kicked into overdrive. 

"Really?" he drawled slowly in his silkiest tone of voice.  "And what stopped you from ever believing those things in the first place you insufferable, bull-headed, Gryffindor know-it-all?"

"Oh," the young witch muttered angrily and was about to continue their verbal battle of wills when she remembered the reason she had stopped by in the first place.  He was ill and needed to recover and here she stood sparring with him like a spoiled child.  'When will I ever learn to hold my tongue?' she thought dejectedly.  Taking a moment to calm herself, she took a good look at her former potions teacher.  His skin was even paler then normal, dark circles were visible beneath his eyes and his movements lacked his usual elegance and grace.  He was obviously suffering the after-effects of the Cruciatus.

"You needn't worry over your classes Professor Snape," she said quietly. "Aside from a few minor mishaps today, everything was fine.  I merely had a few questions regarding the manner in which you would like for me to present tomorrow's material to the fourth and fifth year students."

Looking back on the incident in the days to come, Snape was never able to decide if it was the weary tone in her voice or the exhausted look in her eyes that made him lower his defenses ever so slightly and usher her into the sitting room.  Gesturing for her to take a seat in front of the fireplace, he threw some floo powder into the fireplace and called down to the kitchens and ordered the house-elves to send up a tray of tea and biscuits. Moments later the refreshments arrived and Severus and Hermione found themselves sipping tea and discussing the direction in which to proceed with the potions curriculum for the next few days.  

"You mentioned that there were a few mishaps today in class," Severus said eyeing her thoughtfully. "What happened?"

Hermione carefully placed her teacup on its' saucer and looked up at her former teacher with a small grin.  "Oh, nothing too traumatic I guess. One of the Gryffindor boys added too many unicorn hairs to his aging potion and gained a few more years than he was expecting."

Snape looked at her momentarily with one raised brow and a slight smirk upon hearing the news.  "Let's see, you said Gryffindor so I'd hazard a guess that our inept young friend must have been Mr. Dallon," he theorized, and smiled when he heard her surprised gasp.

"How did you know?" she questioned.

"Because Mr. Dallon is nearly, although not quite, as hopeless in the art of potion making as your friend Neville Longbottom was," he replied with a sardonic grin.  "It's just something about Gryffindors and potions that do not mix," he added knowing that it would raise Hermione's carefully hidden hackles just enough to trip her up.

"Just because Neville made a few mistakes here and there does not mean that he is hopeless," she began hotly and then stopped as she heard Severus' deep laugh. "You're baiting me," she accused crossing her arms in front of her.

"Yes," he acknowledged "but you really can't blame me Hermione as it is so easy to do."

"Hmmf," she huffed in a very unladylike manner as her mind played back his last sentence.  'Wait a minute,' she thought to herself in absolute amazement,  'did he just call me by my name?' Looking straight at the potions master she smiled slyly and said, "Well, I guess if we were to use your criteria for critiquing potential potions masters then the same thing could be said for your Slytherins."

Still angry with himself for letting his defenses slip to the point of casually using her name, he settled for a stern glare as he asked in confusion, "What are you talking about?" 

"You said that Gryffindors and potions do not mix as is evidenced by the mishaps of Neville and Ryan.  So, if we were to continue following this criteria then the same could be said for your Slytherins since it was Miss Larret's mistake which landed her in the infirmary this morning. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that Miss Larret is a member of Slytherin. Is she not?  Therefore, it seems that Gryffindor is not the only house at Hogwarts to boast of poor potions skills" she concluded.

There were few instances in Severus Snape's life in which he could point to and say that someone actually succeeded in rendering him speechless. It was a fact of which he was quite proud.  This however, was _not_ one of those instances.  Sitting across the table from the petite figure that was Hermione Granger, he silently applauded her application of intellect and wit even if it was at his own expense.  The key word however was SILENTLY for he would be damned if he would allow her to walk away from this thinking she had outwitted him.  

"A typically Gryffindor approach at best," he replied scathingly.  "What mishap, pray tell, did Miss Larret find herself in to have need of Poppy's services?"

"Rest assured it was nothing too terribly serious.  Whereas Mr. Dallon decided to add too much of an ingredient to his potion, Miss Larret decided to add too little of a particular ingredient.  Powdered Dragon's claw to be exact" she informed him and smiled as she saw his mouth tighten ever so slightly.  "I'm sure she'll be feeling better by tomorrow."

"Undoubtedly," he replied with a sardonic grin as he thought of the side effects of that particular error.  'I'd be willing to bet a few house points that she won't make that mistake again' he thought to himself.

"Were there any other mishaps that I should be aware of or did the rest of my students manage to make it through class unscathed?"

"Oh no, that's about all of it," Hermione assured him. "But there was one thing…" she said and then her voice trailed off as she remembered the brief scene in the dungeons with Miss Saunton.

"Well…" Snape prompted when it became obvious that she had become lost in her thoughts.

"What?" she mumbled distractedly and then brought herself back to the conversation at hand when she realized the professor was waiting for her to continue.  "Miss Saunton stopped by and asked after you today.  I think she wanted to speak with you about something but she wouldn't say what."

"Did she say anything at all?" Severus asked and Hermione could hear the worry that had suddenly entered his voice.

"No, merely that she would wait to speak with you until you returned," the Gryffindor answered.  "Why?  What's going on? Is she alright?"

"Yes, for now but I don't know how much longer she will remain so," he answered as he ran his hand over his eyes in a gesture that spoke of weariness and perhaps…defeat?

"I don't understand," Hermione said quietly.

Pouring himself another cup of tea from the charmed teapot on the coffee table, he leaned back in his chair and looked thoughtfully at the young woman sitting before him.  Suddenly, as if coming to a decision, he sighed and took a sip from his mug and began to speak.  "Miss Saunton is from a very old wizarding family that prides itself on its lineage," he began tentatively.

"You mean she's a pureblood," Hermione stated bluntly.

"Precisely.  Edgar Saunton, the girl's father, is one of Voldemort's oldest and most loyal supporters and, as is wizarding tradition, he expects his family's loyalties to fall in line with his own," he said returning the mug to the coffee table.

"He wants her to join Voldemort's cause?" she asked horrified. "But she's so young!"

"Forgive me Miss Granger but I thought that I was the one telling this story?" he said fixing her with a calculated stare. "Besides, she is no younger than any of the other students that Voldemort and his followers are actively attempting to recruit."

Blushing slightly, she gave him a sheepish smile. "I'm sorry, Severus, please continue."

Stopping momentarily at the shock of hearing his name fall from her lips, he nodded tersely and continued his narrative.  "Yes, he expects Emily to join Voldemort's 'cause' as you put it by taking the dark mark at the next initiation ceremony.  Emily has expressed her distaste to me regarding this matter and has been trying to make a decision as to whether she will be following her father's wishes this coming summer or her own."

"What will her father do if she decides not to join Voldemort?" Hermione cautiously asked, fearing she already knew the answer.

"He will kill her," the potions master said as he tried to keep his emotions from creeping into his voice.

Hermione sat back in her chair and closed her eyes momentarily. She wished she could honestly tell herself that his answer came as a shock but she couldn't.  This was exactly the type of behavior Voldemort would condone in order to maintain order in his ranks and set examples for new and potential recruits.  _Rule by fear_, the very same motto used by dictators throughout time whether in the muggle world or the magical one.  'But she's so young' the innocent in Hermione silently cried out once again.  

"What can be done to help the girl?" she asked aloud and Snape could see the inner turmoil she was facing written clearly in the warm brown eyes that looked straight at him.

"There are several options but no guarantees that any of them will work.  Voldemort's influence is far-reaching," the potions master said.  "The best options thus far are to either keep her sequestered here at Hogwarts or to quietly send her somewhere else."

"Would she leave?" the young witch asked quietly.

"I don't know," Severus responded honestly.  "It is a decision which she alone must make.  I can only council her as to what her options are and perhaps point out some alternatives which may prove preferable to those she is currently considering."

They sat quietly staring into the fire, each lost in their own thoughts until the tinkling of ceramic dishes was heard once again.  Realizing that it was time for dinner, Hermione stood and walked to the door.  Turning to Snape, who had risen to show her out, she paused.  "Thank you, for sharing that with me."

The potions master merely inclined his head in acknowledgement.  "You do realize that what we discussed must stay in this room?  If anyone were to discover that Miss Saunton's loyalties to Voldemort are less than steadfast, she would be in serious danger."

"I know and you have my word that our conversation shall remain here between the two of us.  Thank you for your time professor and I hope we'll see you back in the dungeons soon," she said as she exited the room and headed toward the great hall to partake of her own evening meal. 

Severus closed the door and glanced at the tray of food in irritation.  He wasn't hungry. He was confused.  And the source of his confusion had just walked out the door in the form of a five-foot-three ex-student turned Hogwart's professor.  What was it that Albus had said that very morning?  

Hermione is a good person Severus and an excellent teacher. Perhaps if you would let yourself see beyond her years as a student in your

classroom than you would be able to see these traits for yourself…

As much as he hated to admit it, the old wizard was right. The annoying little know-it-all, the Gryffindor brainiac, had grown up and in her place now stood a quiet, knowledgeable, confident young woman who no longer felt the need to let the world know that she had all of the answers. 

However, whereas the child had annoy the young woman left him feeling unsettled in a way in which no one else ever had.  She was his equal on an intellectual level and while she lacked his years of practical experience, the potential was clearly there waiting to be developed and put to use.  And… if that wasn't enough, the woman could certainly hold her own against him in verbal sparring matches.  He grinned as he thought back to the lively banter they had exchanged earlier. 

She is an adult now…

'The headmaster certainly called that one correctly,' he thought to himself as he realized that when he looked at Hermione, he no longer saw the child that had sat in his classes for so many years.  The only thing he saw now was a vibrant young woman whom he very much wanted to take the time to get to know.

Perhaps it is time to leave the past…in the past.  Not only for Hermione's sake but for your own sake as well…

'Dammit Albus, get out of my head' he shouted to himself as snatches of their morning conversation continued to invade his thoughts.  Yes, he could forget Hermione's past.  After all, she had been but a child.  The problem was forgetting his own past because he couldn't fall back on the excuses of childhood to brush away his actions and decisions.  No, he had been an adult when he joined with Voldemort.  A young adult perhaps, but an adult all the same and therefore didn't have the excuses that could so easily explain his foolish actions away.  'Nothing could come of it anyway,' he told himself dejectedly as he tried to picture a future that held more than just a working relationship between him and the young Gryffindor witch.  'How can she ever move beyond my past when I can't move beyond it myself?' he thought in anguish.  Muttering a curse, he hurled the teapot to the floor and stared blankly out the window, lost in his thoughts. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	4. Chapter Four

Disclaimers:  Nothing's changed.  The legal stuff can be found in chapter one.

When Living is No Longer Enough… Chapter Four 

The following Monday found the potions master back in the dungeons teaching classes and terrorizing students as if nothing had happened. "Ten points from Gryffindor Miss Gavin for being late to class," he bellowed to a young third year student who had the misfortune to enter the classroom two minutes late. 

"But Professor Snape I…" the girl began in protest of the punishment but was interrupted by Snape's low snarl.

"Perhaps you would like to make it twenty points and a detention Miss Gavin?" he asked silkily.

"No sir," the girl said softly, settling herself in her seat.

"Now, if we can continue with the matter at hand," the professor said, returning his attention to the class, "Open your books to page 224 where you will find a list of ingredients for today's in-class assignment.  Gather your supplies and we will test your potions at the end of class. Begin now."

And so the next several weeks continued with Snape snapping at students, deducting house points and deflecting any concern the staff attempted to show him. 

"I am fine Minerva," he said bitingly to the transfigurations teacher one evening during dinner. "And even if I were not, I fail to see how repeatedly hounding me with the same question countless of times would change anything."

"Well," Professor McGonagall huffed, "I was merely _asking _Severus.  There is no need to bite my head off about it_._"

"Fortunately for the both of us my _dear_ lady, your head is not on this evening's menu," he snarled. Wiping his mouth with his dinner napkin and tossing it on the table in barely controlled fury, he curtly nodded to those present at the High Table and stormed out leaving a very stunned faculty looking after him in bewilderment.

"Well," Professor McGonagall said to the headmaster, "I was only trying to be civil to the man.  Really Albus, he becomes more impossible every day."

"There now, Minerva," Dumbledore said soothingly as he patted her hand in a comforting gesture, "I'm sure Severus did not mean to be quite so severe," and redirected the conversation to the upcoming Valentine's party in which all of the teachers began excitedly talking over various ideas for decorations and music.

No one seemed to notice that Hermione had remained quiet after Snape's departure from the Great Hall or how her eyes had remained worriedly fixed on his retreating figure long after he had gone. Nor did they notice how she quietly excused herself before desert was served. 

No one that is, except Albus Dumbledore, whose gaze silently followed her out of the Hall, the twinkling light in his eyes dulled with concern.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I thought I might find you here," Hermione said softly entering the potions classroom.

"I wouldn't think that to be such a difficult deduction Professor seeing that this _is_ where I spend most of my time," Snape replied, not even bothering to look up from grading papers.

"Perhaps not," she agreed not wanting to pick a fight.  The silence between them seemed to stretch on for several minutes.  'He's in a bad mood' she thought to herself marveling at how the man could remain sane while living in a constant state of irritation.  'But this isn't just a bad mood,' a voice in the back of her mind nagged.  'This is something more like… depression? Hopelessness? Despair?' she wondered trying to pinpoint something that seemed to remain just outside of reach and defy explanation.  

"Was there a reason for your uninvited visit this evening Professor Granger or do you always make it a habit to drop in on unsuspecting people and silently stare at them?" he asked becoming uncomfortable under her thoughtful gaze.  'Merlin, the woman doesn't have to say anything and I become as nervous as a schoolboy,' he thought to himself.  'Fine, I'll simply remain quiet, she'll tell me what she wants and then she'll leave and I can retreat to my rooms in peace' he told himself.  'Yes, just like you do every night' a mocking voice said from the depths of his mind.  'What harm could it be to visit with her for a while?' the voice reasoned.  

"I was wondering how Miss Saunton is doing," she stammered trying to come up with a plausible excuse for her presence.  The truth of the matter was that she didn't know why she went in search of him or what she hoped to accomplish with her actions. She merely knew that she wanted to be with him and something inside, a gut instinct if you will, told her that he needed and wanted the same.  But what if she was wrong?  He was a hard man to read, always keeping his emotions buried under a blade of ice that he expertly wielded to freeze people out and keep them at bay.

Snape finally looked up from grading his papers and fixed her with a stare that seemed to pierce to the core of her soul as if he could sense her thoughts and was daring her to bring them out into the open.  "Miss Saunton is still confused as one might expect of a person in her situation. However, thus far, she has managed to avoid pledging her allegiance to Voldemort," he said. Laying the quill down he stood up and crossed the room to stand in front of her.  "But somehow, I don't think that is what you came all the way down here to discuss.  Is it?"

Hermione looked directly into his eyes and almost gasped at the brief flicker of amusement and warmth she thought she saw.  Nervously, she looked down and ran her fingers over the desk that she used to occupy back in her student days. "You know, you used to confuse and terrify me when I was a student," she whispered tracing the cuts and grooves on the desk. "You were always ready to find fault with us and hand out detentions…"

"And now?" he asked almost holding his breath as he waited for her next words.

"I'm no longer terrified," she confessed softly. "I'm still confused but I'm no longer afraid."  Reaching out tentatively to touch his arm, she looked up at him and he could see a myriad of emotions playing in her eyes.  Uncertainty, confusion, worry and…desire?  'Could it really be?' he thought to himself in disbelief stepping closer and bringing their bodies within inches of one another. 

Perhaps it is time to leave the past… in the past.

'Perhaps Albus is right' he thought to himself yet again.  Gently taking hold of her arms, he pulled her to him and slowly lowered his mouth to hers.  Time stood still, their senses fracturing into a kaleidoscope of feelings, as repressed needs and desires broke free to surface in that one perfect kiss. It was a kiss that seemed to convey what mere words could not.  It was a kiss that allowed each to give and take what they so very desperately needed from one another. It was a kiss that was both hesitant and urgent.  It was a kiss that, in both Severus and Hermione's minds, took the art of snogging to new and almost unreachable heights. 

No sooner had Hermione thought she was going to pass out from the multitude of feelings that were assaulting her senses, not to mention lack of air, she heard a noise just outside the classroom and reluctantly pulled back, never taking her eyes off Severus.  

"Professor Snape?" a young girl called out.  "Are you in here?"

Using every ounce of willpower that he possessed, Severus stepped away from Hermione.  Momentarily cupping her face in his hand, he softly brushed along her cheekbone with long elegant fingers and murmured, "We'll have to continue this discussion another time."    

Nodding silently the young witch turned to leave just as Emily Saunton entered the classroom with tears streaming down her face and a crumpled piece of paper held tightly in her hand.

"Am I interrupting something?" Emily asked tearfully as her gaze fell on Snape and Hermione.  

"Not at all Emily," Hermione kindly assured the girl while sending a worried glance in Severus' direction.  "Professor Snape and I were just finishing our business and I was about to return to my own classroom to finish some grading that I've put off for far too long." So, with a brief nod and smile at both teacher and student, Hermione made her way out of the dungeons and back to the main part of the castle.    

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


	5. Chapter Five

Disclaimers:  Nope… Still not mine.  Thanks to the Harry Potter goddess (JKR) for allowing me to play in her universe even if only for a short while!

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Five 

Severus muttered the spells that would disengage the wards placed around his chambers and wearily entered the rooms.  Removing his notorious black school robes, he tossed them on the couch and sank into the old, worn leather chair that sat off to one side of the fireplace.  "Incendio" he said and with a flick of his wand brought to life an array of flames to warm the cold room.  Leaning back he glanced over to the cabinet that held an array of various liquors and tiredly shook his head.  "Accio" he murmured, summoning a half-empty bottle of Ogden's Fire Whisky, watching as it glided across the room to rest in his hand.  Not caring enough to be bothered with the niceties of summoning a glass, he uncorked the bottle, drew a long deep swig, and stared at the remaining contents as they swirled against the sides of the glass before finally settling.  Although the bottle was made from dark emerald green colored glass, he could still make out the motion of the amber liquid as it swished from side to side in a circular pattern.  'Just like me' he thought bitterly, closing his eyes and allowing his thoughts to drift.  'Surrounded by darkness while my attempts to break free of my confines lead me in one big never-ending circle.'  

His conversation with Miss Saunton had not gone well and he was beginning to believe she might actually comply with her father's wishes and join with him in serving Voldemort.

"Damn it all to Hell!" he exclaimed as he took another long mouthful of the throat numbing liquor.  "She's no more than a child.  They are all merely children with no concept of what such a decision will do to them.  No concept of how it will enslave them to Voldemort's perversity, as they become nothing more than playthings to be used and discarded on a whim. No concept of how their actions will eat away at them night after night, robbing them of their humanity and deforming their very souls."     

Suddenly he heard a  'pop' in the fireplace and looked over to see the head of Albus Dumbledore calling to him from the flames.

"Severus, may I come over for a few minutes?" the old wizard questioned. 

"As if my saying 'no' would stop you,' he replied scathingly.  "Oh fine, but be warned that my mood is something less than congenial this evening."

Seconds later, the Headmaster stepped out of the fireplace and brushed the clinging soot and ashes from the shoulders of his heavily embroidered robes.  "I consider myself warned," he said with a smile. Moving Severus' robes aside, he turned to sit and make himself comfortable on the overstuffed couch.

"I understand that you had a visit from Miss Saunton this evening," he mentioned casually.  "How is she doing?"

"Not well Albus," Snape said with a sigh.  Summoning two glasses, he poured himself and the Headmaster a drink and recounted Emily's visit to the dungeons earlier that evening. 

"She received an owl from her father this afternoon informing her that she will be returning home over the Easter holidays where she will personally meet with Voldemort and pledge her loyalty to the dark," he said summarizing his earlier meeting with the young girl.  "Needless to say, the girl is beside herself with worry, not to mention scared to death to go against her father's wishes.  I fear that we may very well lose her Albus and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it."

"Patience my friend," the wizard said quietly.  "All is not yet lost and while she does not wear the dark mark, there is always hope."

"Hope?" Severus snarled as his fingers tightened on the glass with nearly enough force to shatter it.  "Hope alone will not save these children or the rest of us for that matter and it will certainly not win this war.  And as for patience… suffice it to say that it is a virtue best left far away from the cold realities of this conflict. I may not be able to obtain information directly any longer but I can guarantee that Voldemort is not stocking his arsenal with such useless weapons as hope and patience."

The headmaster listened quietly to the young man as he sputtered through his tirade. The more he listened, the more anxious he become in regards to his friend's current frame of mind. Albus had known that being confined solely to Hogwarts grounds would likely cause the young wizard to become restless.  However, the bitterness and caustic words had become more pronounced and more frequent over the last several weeks and while most people would have written these signs off as part of the younger wizard's unpleasant persona, Dumbledore knew better.  He had known Severus for many years.  He had watched his quiet and aloof mannerisms during his student days and he had seen the desperate young man who had given up on himself the night he turned from Voldemort's side.  A man who held no value whatsoever for his own worth and felt that nothing short of death would serve as penance for the dark acts he had committed during his younger days. It was that very man that seemed to be slowly re-emerging in the potions master that Albus now called 'friend'.  It was that man that Albus had hoped to never lay eyes on again, fearing that he might one day succeed in overtaking the person that Severus had since become.  

"Ah Severus, you underestimate the importance of these 'weapons' for without them, we would not have the will to drive forward when times look bleak," he replied softly.   

"Hmmf" Snape snorted as he emptied the remaining contents of the whisky bottle into his glass. 

"We still have three months remaining before Miss Saunton returns home with her decision and may yet come up with an acceptable plan that will keep her from Voldemort's clutches," the Headmaster insisted. "In the meantime, I have come to speak to you about taking on a special assignment."

Snape eyed the older man skeptically.  "What type of 'assignment' did you have in mind Albus?"

"We have been receiving reports that Voldemort is getting ready to make a very large move to accelerate the war but have been unable to confirm anything thus far.  Meanwhile, he grows bolder by the month.  Murders of muggles and muggle born witches and wizards have risen dramatically and it is becoming increasingly difficult for the Ministry to predict Death Eater attacks so that they may send Aurors to intervene in time.  I fear that you are correct in your assertion that we must take more direct action and so I find myself asking you to lend your assistance, once again, in an area in which your talents are most desperately needed," Albus said watching the young man's face carefully for clues to his current thoughts and emotions. 

"What type of help do you require Albus?" the professor asked stonily.

"I want you to devise and brew a potion Severus.  A poison, to be exact, that will destroy Voldemort or at least weaken him enough so that we may plan a direct assault of our own. Something that will aid us in gaining an advantage that we might make use of," Dumbledore replied.

"What you ask of me is near impossible," Snape said spreading his hands in front of him, palms facing upward, in a gesture of defeat.  "Voldemort has not only invoked ancient magic but he has cast so many dark spells and ingested so many different potions that he is as near to being immortal as he can possibly get without actually being so.  Not to mention the fact that he trusts no one so the chances of getting the potion to him are next to impossible and highly improbable at best. I may have once stood a chance of delivering such a concoction, assuming such a thing actually exists, but no longer."       

"Nevertheless, we must try," Albus insisted.

Snape leaned forward and momentarily studied his friend.  There was something different about the older man this evening, a sort of intensity in his voice combined with a steely look of determination in his eyes that contrasted to his customary soft tones and facial expressions.   "Something has happened hasn't it?" he stated flatly, his obsidian eyes narrowing as he took in Dumbledore's stiff countenance.  "Tell me."

The headmaster dropped his gaze and momentarily closed his eyes, as if by doing so, he could erase the events of the evening and set things to right.  "Harry Potter's relatives were attacked earlier this evening Severus.  The ministry sent two Aurors to the house as soon as the alarms sounded notifying them that the wards around the area had been disturbed but it was too late."

"The condition of Potter's relatives?" Snape questioned, instinctively knowing the answer. 

"Dead.  All three of them were hit with Avada Kavadra.  The Aurors managed to arrive before the Death Eaters could leave the premises and a fight ensued.  There were casualties on both sides," the headmaster related softly, a tear trailing down his weathered cheek.

"Who?" he asked quietly knowing that it must be someone close to the headmaster when he saw the lone tear fall slowly down the older man's face.

"Draco Malfoy was killed by one of the Aurors.  A Prior Incantati of his wand proved that he was responsible for casting the killing curse at least twice," Dumbledore answered quietly, his voice filled with sadness.

"You said casualties Albus.  I am assuming that there were others?"  Severus questioned, deducing from the pained look on the headmaster's face that the answer would not be pleasant.  

"Yes.  The other two Death Eaters managed to escape but not before wounding one of the Aurors and killing the other," Dumbledore confirmed.

"The identity of the injured Auror?" Snape queried.

"Neville Longbottom was hit with several minor curses.  He is currently at St. Mungo's and is expected to make a full recovery within the next few days."

"And the other Auror?" the professor whispered hesitantly, growing more fearful of the answer as the stream of tears now fell freely down the old man's face.

"Ginny Weasley," the older wizard whispered in despair. 

"Potter's fiancée?" Severus asked gasping in horror.

"Yes."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 TBC

Author's Note:  Wow! I can't believe the reviews that this story has garnered thus far.  You all have been wonderful and I only hope that the rest of the story plays out to your expectations.  I've had some people ask if I will be sticking to the challenge rules by making Snape suicidal and my plan is to do so although I am hoping to write in some unexpected twists to add interest to the storyline.  This is truly a challenge for me as I have always viewed Snape as a strong character and I still hope to stay true to that perception.  However, the poor guy is going to have to deal with some angst first! Until next chapter…

~Jules


	6. Chapter Six

Disclaimers: Hell has not frozen over… They still aren't mine.  

Author's Note:  **IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!! **    Please be aware that the flashback scene in this chapter contains a conversation that deals with the subjects of rape and abuse.  I have not gone into graphic details of the events themselves however; if the concept distresses you too much, please skip the flashback section (It is clearly marked).  You should still be able to follow along with the story.   

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

**Chapter Six**

Snape sat back in his chair in stunned silence.  'Why go after Potter's family now, after all this time?' he wondered trying to decipher Voldemort's intentions with this latest act. 'And how the hell did Draco get himself killed?  I taught him better than that!'

"It seems that Voldemort has once again issued a warning to us this night," the headmaster said gravely.  "No one is safe, be they muggle or wizard, and he will dare anything."

"Has Potter been told of this yet?" Severus asked quietly.  He knew the young man had no great love for his abusive muggle relations however the boy would have never wished for their demise.  'Typical Gryffindor' the voice inside his head sneered. 

"No, but he will be soon," Albus replied.  "The Ministry is pulling him off of his current assignment and bringing him in."

"This won't be easy for him.  He may not have liked his relatives very much but he will blame himself for tonight's events.  Have the Weasley's been notified?" he asked anticipating the devastation this new void would cause in the close-knit family.    

"Yes.  I spoke to Arthur a short while ago and they are all in shock, not only by Ginny's death but by the deaths of Harry's family as well.  You know, they have always looked upon him as if he were their own son," Albus said thoughtfully.

"Yes, his impending marriage would merely have made him an official part of the Weasley clan rather than an honorary one," Severus agreed.

"He will need their strength to pull through this," Albus said softly.  "So much death and devastation for one so young.  I wonder sometimes if young Harry is fated to walk a path of loneliness?"

"Perhaps," the potions master conceded quietly.  "At least until Voldemort is defeated."

"Yes.  Merely another reason to support our growing need of such a potion as we discussed earlier," the headmaster said, staring directly at Snape. "The sooner the better if we are to prevent more tragedies of this magnitude from befalling the members of the wizarding community."

"I will 'tackle the problem' immediately as the muggles would say.  However, you should be aware that I feel this task is nothing more than an exercise in distraction.  Your own skills in the potions field are formidable and you know as well as I that creating such a concoction is next to impossible," Severus said, his gaze boring into Dumbledore with an intensity that might have shocked the older man had he not been familiar with the young wizard's straight-to-the-point approach.

Merely inclining his head in acknowledgment, the Headmaster decided to steer the conversation into another direction.  "I fear this new project will deprive you of most of your free time, Severus.  Perhaps you should ask Professor Granger to assist you.  She may bring a different perspective to the matter at hand."

Snape's head snapped up as if he had suddenly been slapped.  'Hermione! Had she been told of tonight's events and if so, how was she reacting to the news that three of her best friends lives had just been irrevocably altered by the uttering of a few simple words?' Looking up to meet the eyes of his long time friend, he asked "Has Herm… Professor Granger been told of tonight's events?"

Secretly smiling at the obviously unintentional slip, the headmaster nodded solemnly.  "Yes, I spoke to her prior to flooing here. That is of course, how I knew of Miss Saunton's visit to you earlier this evening."

"Is she alright?" Snape asked feeling inadequate and wishing he could take her pain for himself in order to spare her the emotional roller coaster she was sure to be riding over the upcoming weeks and months. 

"She will be eventually but for now she will need our support and understanding.  After all, Ginny Weasley was one of her best friends.  The fact that the young woman's life was so entwined with Hermione's other best friends, through her roles as sister and fiancée, will only succeed in making her path more difficult," Dumbledore answered.  

"How much have you told her of tonight's events Albus?" Snape asked wondering exactly when he had become so concerned for the young witch.  'Probably right after that kiss,' an inner voice sneered derisively although he was honest enough with himself, if not with anyone else, to admit that his feelings for the Gryffindor had been building for quite some time. 

"Everything," the headmaster replied.  "Although she seemed most shocked to learn of Draco's status as a double agent."

"What did you expect?" the professor snorted, thinking back to her school days and the repeated taunting Draco had subjected her to throughout her seven years. "The boy lived to torment her for the first five years of their schooling.  It was an added bonus for him that his harsh treatment of Miss Granger had the additional benefit of annoying Potter and Weasley to no end as well."

"Yes, but all of that changed at the start of their sixth year," the headmaster reminded him.

"True," Snape agreed. "But the Magnificent Three had no way of knowing that Draco had underwent a change of heart after his mother's death. As far as they were concerned, he was still following in Lucius' footsteps."

"A necessary diversion to ensure the boy's protection against both his father and Voldemort," the headmaster reminded Snape.

"Of course, it didn't hurt that he was gaining valuable information for the Order through his spying activities on Lucius either," Severus drawled dryly. 

"Yes." Dumbledore answered quietly, aware of how much Draco had given up in his own short life to ingratiate himself into Voldemort's inner circle and assist the Light in thwarting many of the sorcerer's darkest plans.  After several minutes of silence, the headmaster looked over to his friend who sat lost in thought.  "You realize that Lucius will be aware of the dual role in which Draco was cast after tonight's events, don't you?"

Dragging his gaze from the patterns created by the flickering flames in the fireplace, Severus returned his attention to the conversation at hand.  "In what way?" he asked in confusion.

"Young Malfoy was killed as a result of trying to protect Neville Longbottom.  According to the young man, Draco managed to cast several counter-curses and attempted to cast the killing curse on his fellow 'comrades' on two separate occasions. Both of which, unfortunately, were unsuccessful in light of the way the events of the evening played out" the older man reflected.

"So then he was not responsible for any of the killing curses cast on Potter's relatives? Do we have any idea as to the identity of the other two Death Eaters?" Severus asked thinking that the probability of the men turning out to be Crabbe and Goyle were rather high.

"No," Dumbledore answered.  "But Neville did tell the Ministry that both men left the house immediately after the killing curse meant for him succeeded in striking Draco instead."

"So the boy died a hero and no one will ever know," Severus said sadly, reaching for his previously abandoned glass of whisky and tossing the remaining liquid down his throat in a swift, angry gesture. 

"We know, my friend" Albus replied gravelly. "And eventually, others will learn of his sacrifice as well. But for now, we must assume the other Death Eaters have already reported back to Voldemort, and although he is power hungry, he is by no means ignorant.  He will surely have deduced the politics of the situation by now.  We must be cautious, Severus.  More so than ever before."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was a long while after the headmaster had left, that Snape finally began to immerge from his stunned stupor.  'What is this world coming to when children are compelled to step forward and willingly face the horrors created by the deranged minds of their own flesh and blood in order to save others from unmentionable fates?  And what can be said of those of us who are older and more experienced in the harsher aspects of life who allow them to do so?' he thought despairingly as he remembered a night seven years prior when Draco approached him regarding the future Lucius had planned for him.

**_*** Flashback***_**

_"Professor Snape?" asked a tentative voice._

_Startled from his deep concentration, Snape looked up from the essay he was grading and took note of the blond haired young Slytherin that stood in the doorway to the dungeon classroom.  Unsettled by the hesitant look in the usually icy gray eyes, Severus set his quill down and invited the boy to take a seat in the chair nearest his desk and waited patiently for him to get comfortable.  After several minutes of tension-filled silence, the professor decided to begin conversation in an effort to prompt the boy into revealing the reason behind the unexpected visit. _

_"It's late Draco.  Shouldn't you be back in the dormitory preparing for tomorrow's classes?" he asked._

_The young man's eyes darted nervously around the dungeon to be caught briefly by those of his professor's and he suddenly exhaled sharply as he allowed his posture to slump in a gesture of defeat.  "I'm sorry Professor Snape," he began which was unusual in itself.  Lucius had always told Severus in their own school days that a Malfoy never apologizes for anything.  It was a sentiment which he had heard Draco utter on more than one occasion during his previous five years at Hogwarts.  "I didn't know who else to turn to.  I know that, officially, you are a Death Eater but I'm hoping that my instincts are correct and that you will be able to help me anyway."_

_Snape's face became a hardened mask at the mention of his status as a Death Eater.  'Of course the boy would know,' he thought to himself remembering the many times throughout the years that he had visited Malfoy Manor and disappeared with Lucius to attend dark revels in the dead of night.  Looking straight at the nervous boy, Severus merely raised an eyebrow and said, "Continue."_

_Nodding nervously, Draco began to relate a tale of horror that no child should ever conceive of, let alone experience.  _

_"As you know professor, my father is a loyal supporter of the dark lord.  This is something I've known for years and never questioned. Until recently.  I've spent my life learning whatever he demanded of me, dark magic, hexes, curses and even the casting of unforgiveables, although I have yet to actually use one.  I learned and adopted his prejudiced ways towards anyone who wasn't a pureblooded wizard and have taunted others with my supposed superiority.  I never questioned this just as I never thought to question his future plans for me in Voldemort's circle.  After all, I am a Malfoy and Malfoy's are supposed to crave power and glory.  Right?" he asked although his words were more of a statement than a question.  _

_"It certainly sounds like the Malfoy philosophy of life which your father has spouted on numerous occasions," Snape conceded.  "What of it?"_

_"This past summer I took ill and was not able to visit my cousins in France as I do every year.  I've always wondered why Mum remained so quiet around my father but I dismissed it as the behavior of a good wife.  You know, subservient and obedient and all of that… Anyway, father returned from a meeting with Voldemort one evening and I heard them arguing.  I removed father's invisibility cloak from his study and put it on and then ran to my parent's room to see what was going on."  At this point, the boy raised his eyes from the faded ink blotch that he had been staring at on the desk in front of him and looked up to judge Snape's reaction.     _

_"Yes," the potions master prompted quietly, becoming worried as he took in the haunted expression that had settled over Draco's face.  _

_"He was very angry and he reeked of liquor.  He started shouting accusations at mum about her seeing someone else and she began crying and pleading that he was wrong," the young Slytherin recounted, becoming lost in past memories.  "He started hitting her, across the face, on the back of her head, everywhere. He called her horrible names.  The louder she cried and the more she begged, the worse he became.  Then he…"_

_Severus took a deep breath when Draco suddenly stopped his story and wiped an errant tear from his eye.  He had known Lucius since his own school days and the depravity and vileness of the man was unrivaled with the exception of Voldemort himself.  So far, everything Draco had described was standard behavior for Malfoy Sr. and Severus was certain he knew what the next part of the story would be.  "What did he do Draco?" the professor asked softly._

_Draco looked directly at him at that moment, the tears now falling in a steady stream, unheeded, down his face.  "He…He…"_

_"He raped her," Snape said quietly, speaking the words that were too hard for the boy to utter. _

_Letting a small sob escape and then turning his head away in shame, the young Slytherin nodded.  "Yes" he answered in a small voice.  "He was so angry… I didn't have my wand with me and I sat there in shock doing absolutely nothing.  She was my own mother and I did NOTHING!" Draco shouted in anguish._

_Severus stood up from behind the desk to stand in front of the young man and placed a hand on his shoulder in a gesture of comfort.  "There was nothing you could have done Draco," he assured the boy quietly.  "To attempt to do so would have only turned your father's anger on you as well."_

_"I just sat there.  I couldn't believe he would do that to his own wife, a pureblood witch.  Then he stopped and just laughed at my mother's cries.  I thought that was it… that it was over and that he would let her go…"_

_"But he didn't?" Snape asked knowing that the boy had to recount the tale if he was to ever be able to handle the emotions and the guilt that the actions had left in their wake._

_"No" Draco confirmed, shaking his head in a gesture of disbelief.  "He started taunting her over and over about different things.  Things that weren't important.  Things that weren't true.  Mum began crying harder and louder and then he cast crucio on her over and over and her cries became screams.  They were horrible.  He was horrible.  She was in so much pain…"_

_"What happened next?" the professor asked, knowing that his worst suspicions were about to be confirmed.  _

_"He killed her," the Slytherin whispered softly and placed in face in his hands, allowing the tears to fall.  "The bastard cast Avada Kavadra and killed her!"_

_The potions master leaned back against the desk and closed his eyes momentarily, willing the emotions that threatened to break loose to remain under his carefully constructed façade of indifference.  He had never believed the story that Lucius had released to the public concerning his wife's sudden death and now the boy himself had confirmed his worst suspicions.  'Merlin, what do I do now?' he wondered.  _

_"Draco," he said softly, waiting for the boy to collect himself, "why did you come to me with this?  What is it that you want me to do?"_

_"I want to bring down my father and Voldemort," he replied and suddenly the tears stopped to be replaced by a cold, hard, calculated look.  "I want to join the Order and in return, I'll use my supposed position to bring you whatever information you need."_

_Several minutes passed in silence as each one stared at the other.  Severus knew that Draco was asking for vengeance.  He also knew by the determined look in the young man's eyes that he would have it one way or the other.  'Better to guide and assist him then let him attempt to accomplish his task on his own,' he thought to himself.  Suddenly making a decision, the potions master stood upright and looked down at the boy in front of him._

_"Draco, let's go talk to Dumbledore."   _

**_***End Flashback***_**

****

****

Severus threw his head back and let out an agonized groan.  It had been that night in the beginning of the boy's sixth year at Hogwart's that he had entered into an agreement with Albus Dumbledore and became a double agent for the Order.  Nearly two years later he had taken the Dark Mark to further his cover and had been masquerading as a loyal Death Eater for the past five years.  'And for what?' an internal voice questioned, 'Lucius still lives to terrorize those he feels are beneath him and another valuable member of the wizarding community lay dead.  Two members,' he corrected himself thinking of the young red headed witch who had meant so much to so many people. 

Shivering with frustration and despair, Severus placed his head in his hands and, for the first time in twenty-two years, began to cry. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

_TBC_


	7. Chapter Seven

Disclaimers:  Refer to Chapter One

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Seven 

The moment Hermione opened her eyes she knew that it was a mistake. Squinting against the sunlight that mercilessly streamed through the oversized window, she muttered a few curse words and buried her head in her arms.  That was her second mistake for the simple act of movement sent pain shooting throughout her body.  Looking down at herself she realized that, once she had finally managed to fall asleep after the breaking of dawn, she had somehow managed to contort her limbs into a fetal position and was precariously perched on the tapestry covered wing-backed chair nestled close to the fireplace.  It was an old chair but still quite comfortable.  'At least it was comfortable until now' she thought to herself wryly as she slowly stretched her arms and legs and allowed the blood to circulate once again.  Glancing at the clock she realized that it was a quarter past nine and briefly panicked fearing she had missed her first class. 'No wait a minute, it's Saturday' she corrected herself as everything from the previous night began to come back to her with razor sharp clarity.   

"Oh Gods," she cried out to the empty room in anguish, doubling over and holding her stomach as if in physical pain.  Ginny Weasley had been her best friend.  At least that is to say, she had been her best female friend.  The young witch had been the only friend of the female persuasion that Hermione had ever been able to open up to and truly confide in and though she loved Harry and Ron with all of her heart, talking to them about the intimate details of her life was just somehow never the same.

"Ron," she whispered sadly knowing that the death of his younger sister was going to completely devastate him.  Despite their constant bickering he had been closest to the youngest Weasley.  True, he respected his older brothers Bill and Charlie and even Percy, although to a lesser degree, and he did his very best to emulate the pranks of George and Fred, but he always identified more with Ginny.   'Maybe it's a type of youngest sibling syndrome,' Hermione thought to herself. 'At least he'll have the rest of his family there to console him unlike Harry who will only have…'

Abruptly breaking that particular chain of thought, the young witch allowed the tears to stream unchecked down her cheeks and watched, trancelike, as the shimmering droplets fell to the floor forming two small puddles that glistened as the morning rays of sunlight glinted off of them.  Sensing the obvious distress of his mistress, Crookshanks left his hiding place and slowly sauntered over to lie on the bed next to the shaking form of his long time mistress.

"Poor Harry," she whispered to the oversized bundle of orange fur.  "What is he going to do now?  It will be hard enough for him to deal with the loss of his relatives but I'm afraid that coping with Ginny's death on top of everything else will be too much for him to handle Crooks," she told the cat.  Picking up the oversized ball of fur, she clutched him tightly to her chest and found herself falling back into her childhood pattern of rocking back and forth in an effort to obtain some small measure of solace.   

"He loved her so much," she sobbed to the feline, "and she was so happy about their upcoming wedding. We were supposed to go dress shopping next week."   

**_*** Begin Flashback***_**

_"Hermione!" the red-haired witch cried happily. "Look!"_

_Hermione looked at her friend as she held out her left hand to show off her very recently acquired engagement ring and smiled.  An oval, medium sized diamond, flanked by tiny ruby begets sparkled back at her from a bed of polished gold.  She had known that Harry had finally gathered the courage to ask the young woman to marry him. She just hadn't known that he had intended to ask on Christmas Eve.  Giving her friend a warm hug, Hermione murmured words of congratulations and the girls began chatting excitedly about the many preparations that would have to be completed before the ceremony was to take place._

_"I just can't believe it Hermione," the young witch had said dabbing at the tears of happiness that shone from her eyes.  "I mean, we've been dating for years but every time I tried to bring up the subject he'd go quiet and mumble something about He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named still being around.  I mean seriously, if we're really honest with ourselves, he could be around for a long time and if we wait until he's gone then I might end up walking down the aisle when I'm old enough to need the assistance of a cane or a levitating spell at the very least! And then, all of a sudden, he asked me last night after dinner and I could barely believe it! I think I nearly pulled his neck out of alignment because I hugged him so hard."_

_"Is she still talking about that barmy ring?" Ron's voice rang out from the doorway to the living room.  "I mean it's not like she's never seen one before and it's not like anything's going to really be all that different now is it?  After all, they've been dating for years!"_

_"Ronald Weasley," shouted a shrill voice from behind the tall redheaded young man. "Let your sister have her moment of happiness.  Just because you haven't found some nice young witch to settle down with doesn't mean that you have the right to stand there and complain!"_

_"But Mum!" the youngest of the Weasley boys cried out in protest, "We've been hearing the same thing over and over again since last night.  I swear if I have to hear it one more time then I'm going to seriously consider casting a silencing charm on her until it's time for her to say 'I Do' and move out!  And besides, it's not my fault that I'm not seeing anyone right now.  I mean, I asked Hermione and she turned me down flat."_

_"And a right smart decision that was too," his mother answered sending a smile in Hermione's direction.   _

_Rolling her eyes at the affectionate banter running between the three members of the Weasley clan, she returned the smile to Mrs. Weasley.  "Is there anything I can do to help you get ready for Christmas dinner?" she asked trying to guide the conversation back to neutral ground.   _

_"No dear," Molly said wiping her hands on her apron.  "I've just about got everything ready and then we can all sit down to eat. It's not often that you two get a chance to catch up on things what with Ginny always off hunting down Death Eaters and your teaching at Hogwart's.  Ronald, you round up the rest of the men and let them know that dinner is almost ready."_

**_***End Flashback*** _**

It had been a wonderful holiday and Hermione had never seen Harry so happy.  The newly engaged couple had set the wedding date for nearly a year and a half in the future to allow Ginny plenty of time to prepare for the big day.  They would have been happy with quietly marrying on the spot but, as Ginny was the only girl in the Weasley family, they both knew that Molly would relish the opportunity to make a big affair of the whole event.    

"The wedding was only five months away Crooks," she said softly, grabbing a corner of the bed linens and wiping her face.  "They were so close only to have it all ripped away."

Laying the cat back down on the bed, she stood up and made her way to the bathroom to clean up before contacting the Weasley's and offering her condolences.  She knew Harry would be with them at the Burrow and just prayed they would help him maintain enough presence of mind to avoid doing something rash.  Hermione knew that both Ron and Harry would be out for blood and unfortunately, the blood they would be going for would be Voldemort's.  She also knew if they charged off in search of vengeance now that, given their current mental states, they would be joining the young red-haired witch in the afterlife much sooner than was necessary.  

"Oh my, rough night dearie?" the enchanted mirror asked when she walked into the bathroom and saw her reflection in the glass.  "You look a fright!" the mirror rambled on sympathetically.

"Yes well, losing your best friend will do that to you," she snapped and then winced as the mirror murmured an affronted "hmmf". 

'Oh no, I'm starting to sound like Severus,' she thought to herself and then stood perfectly still in front of the mirror, shock clearly evident on her tear-stained facial features.  She had been so consumed with grief for her friends that she had completely forgotten about everything else that Albus had told her the previous night.  'The headmaster said that Draco had been working as a double agent for the light and that Severus had been training him in the nuances of espionage since our sixth year.  Well, he really did a good job because I never would have guessed it with all of the taunts and mudblood comments.  He seemed so much like…well, like a Malfoy that the thought of his wanting to serve anything or anyone other than Voldemort just never crossed my mind.  Dumbledore said that Severus had become like a father to Malf… I mean Draco during the past seven years so all of this must be difficult for him too,' she thought, trying to sort through all of the new and surprising information she had been given about her childhood nemesis. 

Deciding that she would have to check on the potions master later that day, she continued with her morning bathing rituals.  Nearly an hour later, the young woman emerged from the bathroom looking decidedly more human than she had when she went in.  Opening the double doors of the oversized closet, she quickly chose an ensemble of muggle clothing that consisted of dark jeans and a woolen sweater of muted shades of purple.  A pair of calf-high leather boots that laced up the front completed the ensemble.  

After applying a small amount of make-up to her face in an attempt to cover the telltale signs of a night spent crying, she half-heartedly muttered a few charms to straighten and plait her hair.  Giving herself a final, critical glance in the mirror, she walked to the fireplace.  "It will just have to do," she muttered grabbing a handful of floo powder from the ceramic box on the large, wooden mantel.  Taking one final deep breath she said in a clear, crisp voice  "the Burrow" and waited nervously for the face of one of the red-haired Weasley's to appear amidst the green flames.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Severus Snape was beginning to get worried.  Of course, no one else was allowed to know this so he covered the emotion by snapping at anyone who had the misfortune of crossing his path.  

"That will be five points from Hufflepuff," he growled to a young boy who was not paying attention and ran directly into the tall, slender frame of the potions master.  By the time he had made his way from the Great Hall to his chambers he had managed to deduct a total of thirty points and sent one unfortunate first year running down the halls in tears. 

'Nothing but dunderheads' he muttered to himself in disgust as he crossed to his bookshelves and selected a muggle murder mystery that was currently listed at the top of the best-selling charts.  After attempting to read the same paragraph several times he stood up and tossed the book down on the coffee table with a little more force than was really necessary.  

'She wasn't at lunch' he thought to himself, his mouth drawing into a frown.  'And Flitwick mentioned that she wasn't at breakfast either.' 

The actuality of the situation was that he was worried about the chestnut haired Gryffindor.  He knew that Ginny Weasley was one of her closest friends and the fact that her remaining two best friends were greatly suffering was only going to serve to make things matters harder for the young woman.  All in all, last night's events would prove to be a crushing blow to the emotional well being of all three members of the Hogwart's Dream Team. 

'You're going soft Snape,' an inner voice sneered.  'Two years ago you wouldn't have been concerned about those meddling Gryffindors.  Two weeks ago, you would have at least had the decency to pretend that their problems didn't bother you in the least.  And now, after one small kiss, you're ready to pathetically drag yourself to her rooms in the hopes of assuring yourself that she is indeed alive and well.'

"Oh shut up!" Severus yelled to the empty room and continued his pacing.  "Of course I want to know she's alright.  After all, Albus expects us to work with one another.  It's just professional courtesy and concern for our upcoming project, nothing more."

'Absolutely, and you would do the same thing for Madam Hooch or Filch or Flitwick or even Minerva.  The fact that it's Hermione Granger has nothing at all to do with your current state of distraction' the voice answered back.

"Enough!" Snape ordered, momentarily quieting the jeering voice in his head.  'I am worried about her,' he admitted to himself 'and for more than just professional reasons.'  He thought back to the kiss they had shared only last night and wondered if there was really a possibility that the woman could actually have feelings for him.  

_"We'll have to continue this discussion another time."_

She hadn't seemed to be revolted or disgusted by their shared moment together. 'In fact, she seemed just as sorry as I when we were interrupted and she did agreed to continue the discussion later' he remembered allowing a typically Snape smirk to momentarily settle over his pale features. 

'You can't do this,' his inner voice cautioned.  'Voldemort will stop at nothing to eventually bring about your death and he would not hesitate to harm anyone you might care about.  Look what he has done to Potter.'

"That doesn't mean that the same thing will happen to Hermione," he argued but the twinge of doubt was there, and it was beginning to grow.

'Are you really willing to take that chance?' the voice asked.  'Is the thought of pursuing a relationship with her worth the price that she may be required to pay in the end?  A price you both may pay?'   

"I need to get out of here for a while," he exclaimed in frustration knowing that there was nowhere for him to go, no place where he could visit in an attempt to distract himself from his current thoughts of doubt and concern. 

"Damn you Voldemort," he whispered angrily to the Dark Mark that stood out against the pale skin of his arm.  "Damn us both."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimers:  Refer to Chapter One

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Eight 

Dinner in the Great Hall was a somber affair for the teachers that evening. Conversations alternated between tales of some of the more noteworthy escapades that Ginny had participated in during her student days and discussions regarding Draco and his newly discovered activities for the Order.   Hermione had managed to stay quiet throughout most of the meal contributing occasional responses when required. Her primary focus was an attempt to keep a covert eye on the potions master in an effort to gauge his current thoughts on the situation.  She had looked up to catch him staring thoughtfully at her several times but each time their eyes would meet, he would quickly divert his attention back to his own meal.  

'Typical Slytherin,' she thought to herself, her mouth forming her first real smile of the day.  'I should know better than to try and read him.  After all, he's been hiding his thoughts and feelings for more than twenty years.'  Finishing the confection of chocolate mousse that had magically appeared on her dessert plate, she stood up and bid a quiet good night to the other professors.  Sending a small smile in Snape's direction, she exited the Hall and returned to the solitude of her quarters.

Two hours later she was startled from her thoughts by a sharp knock at the door. 'It's probably Minerva,' she thought to herself.  Pulling her dressing gown tightly around her body, she opened the door and was surprised to find the tall lean form of Severus Snape standing in the doorway.

"Prof..  I mean Severus," she stammered, caught off guard.  "What brings you here this evening?"

"I was on my way back to the dungeons and thought that I would stop in and make certain that you are alright," he replied uneasily, noticing she had already undressed for the evening.  'I should have waited until the morning for this,' he thought to himself as his heart rate sped up just a fraction at seeing Hermione clad in so much less than her usual school robes or muggle apparel.  

"That was very thoughtful of you," she replied standing back and opening the door to admit him into her chambers.  

Severus walked in and took a brief look around the rooms that practically shouted Hermione's name.  The room was decorated in a mixture of deep burgundy and hunter's green colors and generated a feeling of warmth that had nothing to do with the roaring fire blazing in the fireplace.  Although the room was comfortable, it was not overstated and did not boast of a lot of girlish knick-knacks that so many other women always insisted on decorating with.  Instead, the bulk of the shelves were taken up with books.  If a person did not know the Gryffindor witch had a love for books prior to entering her rooms, then they would have no doubt by the time they left. 

Returning to her favorite chair, Hermione indicated for Severus to take a seat and offered a drink.  "So,' she began after the silence had stretched on for several minutes, 'how did your visit with Miss Saunton go last night?"

Glad to have a topic of conversation that he felt at least somewhat comfortable with, Snape began recounting the details of his conversation with Emily the previous night. 

"You really think she might give in to her father and become a Death Eater?" she asked incredulously.

"It's certainly a possibility," Snape replied allowing his severe demeanor to drop slightly.  "I think that the next few months will be difficult for her."

Shaking her head sorrowfully, Hermione carefully placed her hand on his arm.  "You'll help her see her way out," she said softly.  'She's really quite lucky to have you on her side."   

Her praise made him slightly uncomfortable but surprisingly her touch did not.  Leaning forward and taking her hand in both of his he looked into her eyes hoping to find the answers to so many unasked questions.  "So, how about you Hermione?" he asked gently.  "How are you coping with everything that has recently happened?"

Blushing as a result of the combination of his soft touch on her skin and the warmth in his voice, she glanced up at him shyly.  "I'm okay," she tried to assure him.

"Are you?" he asked, the baritone of his voice sending small shivers down her spine.  "Ginny was a close friend wasn't she?" he asked.  "You can't just lose someone and expect yourself to carry on as if everything is alright."

"I have no choice but to tell myself that everything will be alright," she said more sharply than she had intended.  "My acting otherwise won't change anything or bring her back.  It won't help Harry or Ron or anyone else if I just fall to pieces."

"No, it won't" he acknowledged.  He had known that she would try to bury her feelings once the initial shock had passed.  It was the same way she handled everything else.  Focus on the problem and if it can't be fixed then focus on a problem that can be until the original problem fades far enough into the background to become manageable.  They were really so much alike in that respect but he knew the potential problems that could arise from such actions and he wasn't about to allow her to withdraw into herself only to have it all come crashing down to shatter her carefully constructed world at a later time.

"What about you?" she asked tentatively, worried that he might withdraw behind the cold mask he had shown to most people for so many years.

"What about me?" he questioned uncomfortably looking away from chocolate brown eyes that looked as if they were trying to decipher the mystery of his very soul.  

"Well, Albus said that you and Draco were pretty close.  His death has to bother you somewhat" she replied.

"I'm fine.  In this line of work one learns that death can be handed out as quickly as a hall pass to a student. I will merely adjust and move on" he said matter-of-factly.

"Now who is repressing their emotions?" she asked flippantly  "It is not reasonable to expect that you can just push Draco's death aside.  Even if he were killed in some ordinary type of accident it wouldn't be wise to push your memories or your feelings aside.  The fact that he was killed by Death Eaters while working undercover for the Order just makes it all the worse."

"You know nothing of it!" he sneered as the icy blackness of his eyes bore holes through her.  

Momentarily recoiling at the suppressed anger in his voice, Hermione remained silent and merely studied the man in front of her.  'How do I handle this?' she asked herself knowing that an overt display of emotion would only serve to drive him away.  

'Damn the woman!' Snape thought to himself as he tried to school his facial features into the all too familiar mask of indifference.  He had just about succeeded when he noticed her eyes glistening ever so slightly.  Groaning to himself, he pushed aside his feelings of intrusion and looked directly at the young woman who sat before him. "I'm sorry," he said quietly and waited for her reaction to his words.

Nothing could have surprised Hermione more than those two simple words.  Actually, it wasn't the words themselves but the fact they were spoken by none other than Severus Snape, master creator of sarcasm and snide comebacks extraordinaire.  A man that had, for so many years, consciously chosen to handle emotional situations with ridicule and mocking rather than allow anyone to see beneath the surface.  

The potions master must have seen the disbelief in her eyes because when she finally dared to trust her emotions enough to look up at him, she saw a full blown smile graced his facial features.  A smile that sent her senses reeling and set nerve endings tingling that she wasn't even aware she had.  

"Yes, even I can apologize from time to time," he told her with a smirk.  "Although if you allow that information to leave the confines of this room, I will make certain that I deduct enough house points from Gryffindor to ensure it never again claims victory over that ridiculous house cup."

"Noted," she answered with a shy smile.  "Although I'm sure there would be a more than a few people who would pay countless of galleons to hear that such a thing is possible.  An apology I mean, not the denial of the house cup."  

"Perhaps," he allowed.  "The headmaster spoke with me last night in regards to an assignment he wishes for me to take on.  He also felt that your knowledge of potions might be helpful in supplying a different perspective.  Has he mentioned anything to you?"

"No.  We haven't really spoken since last night and I have been so caught up in checking on Ron and Harry and the rest of the Weasley's that I'm afraid I haven't been very accessible today.  What type of project is this and how can I be of any help?"

"Simply put, Albus wants me, or us if you agree, to come up with a potion that will destroy Voldemort.  Or, if not destroy him, then weaken him to such an extent that someone else may step in to finish the job" he said watching her face carefully to gauge her reactions to working side by side with him as well as to the attempt on Voldemort's life.

Biting her lower lip, she stared vacantly back at him while her thoughts rushed through so many different scenarios.  'Work with him? Create a potion? Kill Voldemort? Work with him?'  In the end she settled for a neutral response by merely asking "Is such a thing possible?  I thought Voldemort was practically indestructible."

Breathing a sigh of relief that her first concern voiced wasn't some sort of repulsion to him personally, he merely shrugged as he answered her truthfully, "It will be difficult and I'm not certain where to even begin but that doesn't mean that it is not possible.  Does this mean that you would be willing to assist me in this task?"

"Of course," the young witch replied obviously puzzled that he might actually think she would object to such collaboration.  She loved the potions field but didn't have too much cause to study the art in-depth as she did back in University.  'That's not the only thing you want to study in-depth' an inner voice whispered in her mind.  

"Perhaps we could meet tomorrow after lunch to discuss schedules and different approaches which we might consider pursuing?" he asked.

"That would be fine" she replied quietly, sensing that the unexpected visit was just about at an end.  

Sure enough, Snape stood at that moment. "Very well.  I will take my leave and see you tomorrow afternoon."

Escorting him to the door, Hermione was surprised when he turned back to her and stared silently for a brief moment.  Reaching into one of the pockets of his robe, he pulled out a long narrow vial and carefully placed it in her hand, softly caressed her fingers.  "I noticed at dinner that you appeared to be over-tired.  Knowing your proximity to the persons involved in last night's events, I assume that you probably managed to obtain very little, if any, sleep last night and I doubt that tonight will be any different.  The vial contains an enhanced dreamless sleep potion that is just slightly stronger than the usual version dispensed by Madam Pomfrey.  It should allow you to rest peacefully.  Please consider using it as you will need to be well rested for our meeting tomorrow."  And with that, he laid a soft kiss on her fingers, released her hand, and exited the room.

Hermione was in such a state of shock at the uncharacteristic display of concern and tenderness that she simply stood there for several minutes while the echoes of his footsteps on the stone floors faded away. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC  

So? What do you think?  I'd love to know how many of you are still with me so PLEASE review (consider it a Christmas gift VBG).   Hope you're having a happy holiday season and take care.     ~Jules


	9. Chapter Nine

Disclaimers:  Refer to Chapter One

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Nine 

The next afternoon found Hermione and Severus sitting in the dungeons discussing various properties of some of the deadliest poisons known to the wizarding world.

"Perhaps a combination of two or more poisons may counteract some of the potions Voldemort has previously taken" Hermione suggested as she leafed through a rather thick potions text that was over two centuries old.  

"Don't forget that Voldemort has employed the use of ancient magic in addition to the potions.  Mixing poisons, while possibly creating a stronger and less identifiable poison, would not counteract the magic," Snape said as he laid aside yet another text that outlined some of the uses and properties of very ancient dark spells. 

"Oh, we've been going at this for hours" the young witch exclaimed in frustration.  "Why can't we just kill the snake and be done with it!"

Suddenly, the potions master went very still and his brow furrowed in concentration.  Looking over to where Hermione sat surrounded by books, her head bent over a particularly difficult text and her hair spilling around her face, he thought about her words for a moment.  Mumbling a few unintelligible words to himself, he nodded his head up and down and then walked over to a large bookshelf and scanned the shelves for a particular book.  "Perhaps we can," he said quietly after reading several pages of the aging parchment.  

"What are you talking about Severus?" she asked in confusion.  

"Think about it.  We can't really touch Voldemort because he has made himself virtually indestructible.  The immortality potions and the dark magic he surrounded himself with have made him all but unreachable by ordinary means.  But what if we don't target his human DNA?" he asked, looking to study the young woman's face as he tried to convey thoughts that were still only partially formed in his own mind.

"But Severus," the young witch replied, obviously confused as to the direction of the potion master's current train of thought, "If we don't target his human DNA then what do we target?  I mean, honestly, whether he acts it or not he is still human after all."

"Is he?" Snape questioned with a sneer of disgust.  "Most humans I have had the misfortune of meeting are nowhere near as vile as Voldemort, with the possible exception of Lucius Malfoy of course" he amended as one side of his mouth curled up with disdain at the thought of his former friend.  "No, we can't target the human part of Voldemort, questionable though that categorization is, so instead we must focus our attention on a means to counteract his reptilian DNA.  When he resurrected himself, he used contributions from various sources including Nagini, his overgrown slithering familiar.  It's obvious by looking at him that he has retained many reptilian characteristics and since those characteristics aren't usually covered in immortality potions then I suggest that we begin our research along those lines."

Hermione sat at the desk quietly processing the information that had just been presented to her.  'Target reptilian DNA?' she thought incredulously to herself, 'can such a thing be possible?  We'd have to isolate the reptilian DNA markers from the human DNA markers and then find a way to…'

Severus stared at Hermione and forced back the smile that threatened to overtake his facial features. He could hear the internal conversation she was obviously holding with herself as clearly as if she were speaking directly to him.  'Is such a concept possible? How do we isolate the reptilian DNA? How do we…' So many questions obviously running through her head and so many answers for them to find, answers that Albus insisted they find together.  'He didn't insist you work together' an inner voice echoed through to his consciousness.  'He might as well have since this is what he was planning all along' Snape replied bitingly and succeeded in momentarily quieting the voice.  Oddly enough, the potions master found himself actually looking forward to their intellectual collaboration, a rarity in itself given that he detested working with most people.  Hermione, however, was different.  The young woman had a one-track mind when confronted with a problem and in all her years as both a student and a professor at Hogwart's, the potions master had never seen her give up on anything.  'The woman doesn't know the meaning of the word quit' he thought to himself. 

"Okay, so you're suggesting that we create a potion that specifically targets reptilian gene sequences or DNA markers.  Once these markers have been identified, the potion will begin the process of breaking down those particular DNA strands thereby causing Voldemort's bodily systems to become unstable because he relies on a combination of both human and reptilian DNA.  This would be similar to an autoimmune disease in ordinary humans where the body's systems are attacked by its own defense mechanisms.  These attacks will cause the eventual breakdown and failure of individual systems and lead to massive bodily failure overall.  In this case, the lack of stable DNA would theoretically cause system failures in both human and reptilian genes due to the intertwined dependency on one another. Right?" she asked looking to Snape for confirmation. 

"Five points to Gryffindor Miss Granger," Severus replied teasingly in his most professor-like tone of voice.  "As usual, you seem to have grasped the basics of what such a plan would entail."

"Only five points professor?" she asked flippantly.  "I would have thought that it would have been worth at least ten points given the level of complexity of the project which you are proposing.  Not to mention the fact that I seriously doubt anything like this has ever been conceived of, let alone tried before."

Grinning at her playful attitude, Snape considered the concerns she had just mentioned.  She was right about the level of complexity of the project.  It ranked amongst the most difficult endeavors he had ever undertaken and that was saying a lot considering he had been responsible for the invention of several curative and preventative potions as well as several darker forms of poisons throughout his career.  "It will be difficult but not impossible given the need for success," he said quietly.

"I don't mind the difficult part," she hastily assured him "but Severus, even supposing we can isolate the reptilian DNA markers and come up with an appropriate potion, how do you plan to deliver the end result to Voldemort?  You can't, for obvious reasons, deliver it to him in person now that he is aware of your activities on Albus' behalf."

"That is one of the many factors that will have to be taken into consideration.  First, I suggest that we concentrate our efforts on the primary matter, the creation of a viable potion.  Once that has been accomplished we may begin working on an appropriate method of delivery" he replied. 

"How much time do you think we have?" she asked, biting her bottom lip worriedly.

"Given the recent increase in Death Eater activity as well as the nature and in some cases, audacity, of the crimes committed, I would say that Voldemort is planning a major strike in the near future" the professor answered grimly.  

"How near in the future?" Hermione questioned, knowing she wasn't going to like the answer.  

Snape sat back in his chair and considered her question for a moment.  'When would Voldemort be the most likely to attack?' he thought to himself.  'When the wizarding community is distracted and the chance for publicity is at its highest.  When the death toll would be high causing the morale of good wizards and witches to drop like a lead weight would drop to the bottom of the ocean' he thought to himself.  

Considering these points, Severus looked into the nervous chocolate brown eyes of Hermione Granger and quietly answered her question.  "Voldemort craves glory.  He would plan an attack that would cause major loss of life and deliver a crushing blow to the members of the wizarding community that oppose him.  Taking this into consideration, I would estimate he would plan a major strike against Hogwart's itself close to, if not during, this year's graduation."

"But that's only four months away!" Hermione protested in horror.  "It's already mid January and graduation is scheduled to take place at the end of May."

"Which leaves us very little time to devise a potion and invent a suitable method of delivering it to Voldemort. Then, of course, we will need to plan a final attack and end this nightmare once and for all," the professor replied quietly. 

"But Hogwart's?" she asked, concerned for the many children who attended the school. "There are too many children here that could end up being hurt.  Or worse, killed."  

"Think about it Hermione," he said, walking over to crouch in front of her and clasping both of her small hands firmly in his own in a gesture of comfort and support.  "The two things that Voldemort wants above all else is the destruction of Albus Dumbledore and Harry Potter.  This would assure him of eliminating at least one of those two thorns in his side.  In addition, the school will be filled with students as well as their friends and relatives who have come to witness the ceremony.  Not to mention the press coverage he would receive if he were to attack Hogwarts directly.  Should he succeed, the wizarding community would become a picture of panic and total chaos forcing people to openly choose sides between good and evil."

"That would be a complete and utter nightmare," the chestnut haired woman agreed.  "We should consider researching some of the finer aspects of biomedicine.  I understand that the muggle world has made some very advanced discoveries over the past several years.  We'll also need to look into veterinary medicine as it would relate to reptiles and cross-reference between the two fields.  And then we'll have to begin research on…"

"Hermione," Severus interrupted in a low voice bringing a halt to her verbal thought process.  "Rest assured that we will devise an outline detailing the many different branches of science and magic that need to be researched if we are to successfully complete this project.  However, I would suggest that we continue tomorrow evening as it is now time for dinner and I am fairly certain that you have little if almost nothing to eat during the past two days.  Correct?"

"I'm so sorry.  I know I tend to ramble when I get nervous but there's just so much riding on this and we have absolutely no room for error and…"

"Dinner now, research tomorrow in my quarters at seven o'clock when we will begin organizing the stages of research which will be required.  Agreed?" Snape asked taking on a dictatorial tone of voice to try and focus the nervous young witch.       

"Agreed," she mumbled sheepishly.  "But wouldn't it be better to begin in the library since our initial research will require gathering background information on so many different topics?"

"Ordinarily I would agree with you," he said smirking as she raised her eyebrows in surprise at the thought of him 'ordinarily' agreeing with her on much of anything.  "However, our research will need to be conducted in absolute secrecy.  In the event that people begin to ask too many questions regarding our time spent together we might consider telling them we are researching a class project that would entail the combined talents of charms and potions. Besides, I have an excellent private library that consists of many rare, original texts that you will not find under the care of Madam Pince here at Hogwarts."

"Seven o'clock it is then," she agreed.  "Are you coming to dinner?"

"Yes," he answered as he gathered their notes and locked them away in well-hidden cabinet in his office.  "I'll walk with you to the Great Hall."

The couple had almost reached their destination when they saw Albus Dumbledore hurriedly coming toward them.  The normal sparkle in his eyes was replaced with something that resembled a mixture of worry, sadness and even anger as he approached them.  

"Good evening Albus," Severus said when they were within a foot of one another.  

"Good evening to you as well Severus, Hermione," he replied politely.  "I assume that you are both headed to dinner?"

Snape merely nodded and looked at the headmaster expectantly.  He had seen the look on the old man's face a few times in the past and knew from experience that something had happened.  He also knew that Albus would talk to them about whatever problem had arisen when he was ready.  Unfortunately, it seemed he was now ready and that dinner would have to wait.

"Would the two of you mind joining me in my office," Dumbledore asked quietly and turned toward his office knowing that both Severus and Hermione would follow.  Arriving at the gargoyle, the headmaster muttered 'fruity choco beans' and the hidden staircase leading to his office was revealed.  Upon entering, he motioned for both professors to take a seat and proceeded to offer each a lemon drop prior to tossing one in his own mouth.  Placing the tin of candy back in the desk drawer, he looked at his friends and colleagues and sadly shook his head.

"I am afraid that I have just received news of the most upsetting kind," the older wizard said gravely while shaking his head from side to side in a saddened gesture. "I was just informed that Voldemort ordered several attacks against families of children that attend school here at Hogwarts.  We now find ourselves with four children in various houses that are now without parents and siblings.  In addition, we had several students attending a conference in London with Professor Darrlia this weekend.  It has just been confirmed by the Ministry that there was a Death Eater raid on the hotel they were staying in early this morning. 

"Oh no," Hermione gasped as her hand flew to cover her mouth.

"Were there any casualties Albus?" Snape asked knowing by the look on the man's face that there was still more bad news to come. 

"Sadly, yes.  There were seven students in addition to Professor Darrlia attending the leadership conference.  Two were injured and have been admitted to St. Mungo's overnight for observation.  Three are currently being debriefed by Ministry officials and will return to Hogwarts tomorrow afternoon.  Their families have been contacted and are on their way to visit with them.  I will make an appearance at the Ministry in the morning before the students return," the headmaster said.

"And the other students?" Hermione questioned hesitantly.

"Two of the students were killed as was Professor Darrlia.  The surviving students did indicate to Ministry officials that the Death Eaters seemed to have particular targets in mind for once they had killed these particular students they simply apparated away.  It seems that Professor Darrlia was killed trying to protect one student in particular."  

"Which students, Albus?" Severus asked resignedly.  

"Hogwart's Head Boy and Head Girl" the old wizard whispered. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	10. Chapter Ten

Disclaimers:  Refer to Chapter One

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Ten 

"Merlin" Snape exclaimed closing his eyes momentarily as he assimilated the news of the student's deaths.

"But that doesn't make sense," Hermione cried out, tears coursing down her cheeks as she remembered the young people that had resided and studied at Hogwarts.  "Tara Jacobs was a pure blood wizard and Jeremy Maltis was a half-blooded wizard.  Why would Voldemort deliberately attack them?  I mean I can see where he might go after Jeremy, but Tara?"

"Yes Hermione it is most upsetting and unusual for Voldemort to carry out such a bold stunt however I am certain that he had very definite reasons in mind for both deaths" the headmaster said as he handed her a handkerchief from the top drawer of his desk. "Severus, Tara was in Slytherin House.  Have you heard any of the students talking lately about anything that might give us a better understanding of Voldemort's plans?"

"No, things have been unusually quiet as of late.  There has been nothing more than the usual in-house rivalries amongst the Slytherins. I do know that Tara's family was believed to be opposed to Voldemort.  Perhaps that is why he choose to make an example of her," the potions master said thoughtfully.

"But what about Jeremy and the other student's families that were killed tonight?" Hermione asked.  "What purpose would their deaths serve?"

"Their deaths would serve as a warning to those wizards who have yet to decide whether or not they should come out in full support of Voldemort.  The fact that he went after a pureblood as well would merely support his position that no one is immune to his wrath," Snape explained gently to the distraught charms professor.

"And the fact that he chose to attack Hogwart's top students was meant to serve as a warning to me," the older wizard said sadly.  "With these particular actions, Voldemort is pointing out the fact that I cannot protect the students at all times.  It is his way of informing me that he is just about ready to make a more definitive bid for war between the light and the dark.  I fear that it will not be long now before he makes a move against Hogwarts."

Hermione's eyes widened at Dumbledore's words.  "Professor Snape said the exact same thing earlier."

"Alas, I fear that he is correct," the old man acknowledged.  "How much time do you think we have left Severus?"

"Not long," the potions master replied.  "I estimated that he would make his final move around graduation and after tonight's events, I am fairly certain that is his intention."

"Indeed.  I fear that no one is safe during these dark times that have fallen upon us but perhaps we can find a way to, as the muggles would say, even the score a little as it were, hmmm?" the headmaster said allowing his gaze to fall upon both professors.  "Tell me, have the two of you managed to make any progress in your research for a potion that might weaken Voldemort?"

"We feel that our best chance of success lies in the creation of a potion that would attack Voldemort's reptilian DNA causing a breakdown of bodily systems and severely weakening him. The immortality potions and magic that he has been using would probably not have accounted for the different DNA so we plan to use it as sort of a back door to weaken him.  This should allow us an advantage in overcoming him during a final confrontation," Snape said.  

"Fascinating," the headmaster said as the usually present twinkle in his eyes began to resurface ever so slightly.  "But tell me, how do you plan on presenting this potion to Voldemort?"

"That's one of the aspects of the plan that we have yet to work out," Hermione said with a glance towards Snape.  "We aren't certain what form of presentation the potion will require.  It may need to be introduced via contact with the skin or it may need to be ingested.  Also, we will need someone to deliver it and for obvious reasons, it cannot be Professor Snape."

"No, I see your point," Dumbledore said thoughtfully.  "Perhaps I can come up with something that might help us overcome that particular obstacle.  I will think upon it for a while.  How long before the potion is ready and how long will it take to work once it has been delivered to Voldemort?"

"Albus, we just came up with the idea this evening and have yet to begin our research.  It will take weeks of research and experimentation just to determine whether or not this plan is even feasible and then quite possibly several more weeks to concoct such a potion.  I cannot even assure our success at this point let alone provide you with a timetable" the potions master declared defensively. 

"I understand that of course Severus," the headmaster said in a placating manner.  "Please forgive me if I seem to be rushing the two of you but so much is at stake and we must actively pursue any options that become available to us.  So far, this sounds as if it is our best chance for weakening Voldemort enough to ensure a victory and bring an end to his reign of darkness and terror over the wizarding world once and for all."

Sensing the sudden tension between the two men, Hermione stepped forward and placed a tiny hand on Snape's shoulder in a gesture that served to provide both comfort and a warning to remain calm.  "I am sure that Severus understands your motivations just as I do, Headmaster.  We plan to begin our research tomorrow evening after classes and will work non-stop until we find an answer to the problem that lies before us."

"Thank you Hermione," Dumbledore said quietly as he stood from behind his desk  "I have every confidence in both of you and have no doubt that together, the two of you will succeed in your task.  In the meantime, please feel free to come to me at any time if you require anything."

"We will," she assured him as both she and Snape exited the Headmaster's office

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

They made their way down the winding staircase leading from Dumbledore's office to the main floor in silence each lost in their own thoughts.  It wasn't until they came to the corridor that led toward Gryffindor Tower that Hermione came to a halt.

"I guess that I'll see you tomorrow evening and we can begin work on the potion," she said quietly to the tall man standing silently beside her.  "Goodnight."

"Goodnight?" he asked in confusion as she turned to make her way towards her quarters.  Quickly catching up to her retreating figure, he gently took her by the arm and began steering her back towards the Great Hall.  "I don't think so.  Dinner isn't quite over and we still need to eat."

"Eat? How can you even _think_ about food at a time like this?" she asked in amazement. 'Men must have some undocumented built-in mechanism that allows them to eat no matter what the situation.  Harry and Ron always worried about their stomachs too,' she remembered as she thought back to some of the more notorious escapades the trio had undertaken during their school days.  

**_*** Begin Flashback***_**

"Well of course there's time for a quick snack Hermione," Ron had said just before they set off to bypass Fluffy and steal their way through the trapdoor during their first year.  

She had looked at him as if he had grown an extra head himself and then gave up in exasperation when she glanced at Harry for support only to find him nodding his own head in agreement and reaching for a handful of Bertie Botts Every Flavored Beans.

The young witch might have put their actions down to the immaturity of eleven-year-old boys if the same situation hadn't continued repeatedly throughout their years at Hogwarts. 

"Crikey!  Wait a minute would you?" Ron had demanded as he pulled out a handful of brightly wrapped candy packages from a drawer and stuffed them into the pockets of his robes.  

"But Ron, we need to go NOW," Hermione had told him and began pulling him along by the sleeve of his robe.  "Harry could be in real trouble if we don't get there soon and here you are worrying about your stomach.   I mean, honestly, a person would think that that the school doesn't bother to feed you at all."

"It's best to be prepared, I always say," the red-haired boy said philosophically as he pushed another chocolate frog into his mouth.  "And going into a situation on an empty stomach is definitely not prepared."

"Well, you tell Harry that your stomach was more important when he's laying dead on the ground because we didn't get there in time to help him get past that dragon," she had replied crossly.

"What, you think the dragon will give a knut whether or not I took the time to eat first?" he asked in disbelief.  "You really need to get your priorities straight."

"So do you Ron Weasley and right now Harry should rank a little higher than that bottomless pit you call a stomach," she said marching off to help the Boy-Who-Lived.

"Women," the boy muttered following right behind her, "they're all a little batty sometimes."

*****End Flashback*****

That had been at the end of their seventh year and as Hermione now stood staring in disbelief at her former potions master she was more convinced than ever that concern for one's stomach was just something indicative to men in general. 

"Well, let me put it to you this way Professor Granger," the potions master said slowly as if speaking to a disoriented child "you have classes tomorrow and all of the students have been affected by Voldemort's actions this weekend.  Which means, that they will be distraught, unpredictable and veritable pains in the arses tomorrow.  So, you will not only need your wits but your strength as well and to accomplish that you will need to be well nourished and well rested.  Now, are you coming or do I have to cast the Imperius to get you to the Great Hall?"

The young woman's eyes widened momentarily at the threat issued by her colleague.  "You wouldn't dare!" she told him, outraged by his high-handed manner.

"Wouldn't I?" he asked casually in his silkiest tone of voice. Pulling his wand from his sleeve, he allowed his gaze to rest pointedly on the well-worn piece of wood. Looking up from his perusal of the magical item he slowly observed the young woman standing before him and, using the wand, he raised an eyebrow and mockingly made a gesture indicating that she should start walking.

Giving him one last icy glare that would probably have scared the Dark Lord himself, she turned and angrily stormed off in the direction of the Great Hall without a backwards glance.  She never saw the amused smile that played about Snape's lips as he placed the wand back into the safety of his sleeve and quietly followed the fuming Gryffindor to dinner. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	11. Chapter Eleven

Disclaimers:  Refer to Chapter One

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Eleven 

Dinner the previous night had been strained.  Hermione, for her part, sat at the table casting hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-woman-threatened glances in Snape's direction while Severus spent the better part of the meal keeping his gaze on his plate for fear he would see those glances and burst into laughter.  An action, he decided, that would only serve to further fuel the young witch's anger.  Of course he never had any intention of casting the Imperius but the opportunity to tease her was really just too good to pass up.  It also served the additional purposes of temporarily taking her mind off of the student's deaths as well as forcing her to eat and look after her health.  Something she had been known to dismiss on more than one occasion in the past. 

Now, however, the potions master sat in his quarters waiting for her to arrive so they could begin researching their ideas in earnest.  Absently swirling the last of the amber colored liquid in the clear glass he held in his hand, he stared into the flames flickering in the fireplace and thought back on the events of the past twenty-four hours.  Being head of Slytherin, it fell to him to inform the members of his house about the deaths of the Head Boy and Head Girl as well as the deaths of the family members of the other Hogwarts students.  There had been several questions and a lot of whispering amongst some of the Slytherins while a few of the seventh years didn't seem surprised or disturbed by the news at all.  Those were the students he suspected of having either already taken the dark mark or being very close to doing so in the near future.  'Foolish children' he muttered to himself in disgust.  Oddly enough, it wasn't these students that worried him most.  It was Miss Saunton's reaction to the news that had set his internal alarms off and made him more convinced than ever that she would have to be closely watched.  He would have been more at ease had the girl broken down and cried or shouted in anger or something that would have released the emotions she was obviously holding back at the news of Tara's death.  Instead, she surreptitiously moved to the back of the group and remained silent while her complexion turned to that of paste and her eyes took on one of the most haunted and fearful looks Snape had ever seen.  He knew that look and it scared him to see it on the face of someone so young.  It was the look of a person who has lost all hope and knows the end is near.  It was the look of futility and despair and in Severus' experience; such looks were usually followed by drastic actions.

The sound of knocking brought the Slytherin out of his musings.  Setting the glass on a nearby table he released the wards and opened the door to see Hermione standing in front of him with an expression that was something between anger and wariness.  Taking her cloak he stepped aside to allow her entrance into his quarters and motioned for her to have a seat.  "Prompt as always, Professor," he said breaking the silence that had fallen over the room.

"I figured that promptness would be the most prudent course of action lest you actually decide to hex me after all," she replied tartly. Placing a small pile of books on the coffee table, she sat down on the sofa directly in front of the fire and stared expectantly at him. 

"Hex you?" he inquired with a look on his face that would suggest he might actually be considering the idea.  "No, a hex for minor tardiness would be inappropriate.  I would be more inclined to simply deduct house points provided of course that it was a first offence."

The young woman merely gave a small snort by way of reply and waited for him to be seated.  

"I've brought some materials which I thought might prove useful," she told him pointing to the pile of books.  "I thought we might begin by trying to target one or two main traits that run throughout the reptilian genome rather than attempt to target individual systems."

"I had reached the same conclusion myself," Snape replied looking over a piece of parchment she had just handed to him.  "Some of these ideas are quite interesting but I'm not quite certain that I follow this one," he said pointing to something written at the bottom of the page.

Moving to the end of the couch nearest the potions master, she looked at the item in question.  "Oh that," she said with a nod of her head as if she had been expecting some confusion.  "I thought that it might be beneficial if we could try to place a tracking charm within the potion itself so that once the potion has been delivered, we can better plan our final strike against Voldemort."

Placing the parchment on the table, Severus sat back and thought about her suggestion.  He had to applaud her audacity if nothing else.  It wasn't enough that they were going to try to bring down the Dark Lord by using a potion to turn his own body against him, now she wanted to use that same potion to turn over his whereabouts as well. 

Hermione, for her part, was becoming increasingly nervous by the moment.  As her former teacher sat there silently looking over her ideas for their project she couldn't help but feel as if she had been transported back to her school days.  She could remember having the very same feelings of uncertainty when he would look over her shoulder in class to oversee her progress on a potion.  'Get a grip,' she mentally chastised herself. 'You are no longer a student and it isn't as if he can give you detention or drop you a letter grade if your ideas aren't precisely accurate. But then again, he has been quiet for an awfully long time…'  

Whether the professor noticed his companion's discomfort due to the way she was staring at the parchment and biting her lower lip or by the way she was nervously wringing her hands, he decided to try and ease the tension.  "It's not a bad idea," he began cautiously, "but the probability of Voldemort detecting a tracking spell is actually quite high."

"I figured as much," she answered glad to finally have a topic to focus her attentions on.  "I thought that we might try to infuse the charm in several various parts at the subatomic level during specific points in the potion-making process.  There are several forms of ancient magic that might work but we would need to experiment with them before we can make any definite determinations."

"Let me make certain that I understand you correctly.  You want to place a tracking spell on Voldemort so that we might ascertain his location at any given time after the potion has been introduced to his system.  However, since the probability of him detecting such a spell is quite high, you are proposing to break one spell into several smaller spells that individually accomplish nothing but would work together to accomplish the same task?" he asked looking in astonishment at the woman sitting beside him. "Then, rather than placing the individual charms on the finished product, you propose that we infuse them into the potion during it's creation.  In doing so, Voldemort wouldn't be able to detect the spell because it would be, in essence, several smaller parts of one large spell and therefore undetectable."

"Well, basically yes" the charms professor answered trying to gauge Snape's reaction to such a concept.  "I thought that this type of an approach might have the greatest success rate since Voldemort would probably be on his guard for just one spell.  I don't think he would imagine that anyone would break a spell into several different components and still have it accomplish the same task in the end.  Besides, infusing it into the potion would only further mask the charms themselves."

'The woman really is brilliant,' he thought to himself in amazement.  The use of a tracking charm in conjunction with the potion would certainly help their cause by reducing the guesswork of where Voldemort might choose to hide once the effects of the potion began to make their presence known.  Looking up from his musings, he realized that the young witch had become very still and was nervously watching him as he mulled over her proposal.  

"It just might work" he acknowledged and was amused to see Hermione breathe what looked to be a sigh of relief.  "However, I do have a question in regards to this tracking charm."

"Yes?" she questioned nervously.

"I am assuming that you will tie the charm into a predetermined map that will detail Voldemort's location.  Would this be correct?" he asked.

"Yes" she answered unsurprised that he had grasped her intentions so quickly.  "The process would be very similar to the creation of the Marauder's Map that we used during our school days except that, rather than giving us the location of everyone within a certain geographical range, we would charm it to list Voldemort's location only." 

"The Marauder's Map?" he asked raising one eyebrow in both question and curiosity.    

Giving him a sheepish grin she looked up apologetically and replied, "You would probably know it as a blank piece of parchment you retrieved from Harry during our fourth year. It's a map you see, of Hogwarts, and it details all passageways and persons within the castle.  It's quite useful in finding the location of a person at any given time provided that they're located within the castle itself."

"And quite useful in avoiding teachers when one is wandering the halls after curfew I would imagine," he observed sardonically. 

"Well, I guess it could be used for that also," she agreed looking every bit like a small child who had just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. 

'One Potter mystery down and Merlin knows how many more to discover,' he thought to himself in amusement.  The idea of a map that could track a person's whereabouts wasn't a new idea by any means although he had not realized that the parchment, which he still possessed, was keyed specifically to Hogwarts.  'But what if we could take this all just one step further?' he wondered.  

"Hermione?" he questioned, looking back to the young woman who was shifting a bit guiltily in her seat after the revelation of the Marauder's Map, "do you think it may be possible to adjust the tracking charm so that it would not only show us Voldemort's location but also his physical condition as well?"

"What?" she asked in surprise.  "I'm not sure I understand what you mean Severus?"

"I was thinking that if we charmed Voldemort's location to appear on the map in a specific way then perhaps we could also charm it to tell us of his general physical condition.  That way we would not only know where to attack but when he is at his weakest as well" Snape concluded.

'The man is brilliant,' Hermione thought to herself, unconsciously mirroring the potions master's earlier thoughts in relation to herself.  "There might be," she conceded. "When we were using the Marauder's Map, each person was identified by a colored dot with their name written next to it.  Maybe there is a way we could charm the map to utilize the same dot to show us Voldemort's state of health.  For example, his location on the map may show as a bright red marker just after we introduce the potion but perhaps the marker could be charmed to fade as his health deteriorates."

"Excellent," Severus agreed and noticed the small yawn that escaped the Gryffindor's petite mouth.  Surprised by the amount of time that had passed he stood up and held out his hand.  "It is getting quite late and you will need your rest for what lies before you tomorrow."

"You're referring to Ginny's funeral," Hermione said softly.

"Yes, do you have any more of the Dreamless Sleep potion I gave you this past weekend?" he questioned. 

"No, I used the last of it last night," she answered clearing away their notes and books and placing them on the desk in the far corner of the room.  

"Wait here," he told her leaving the room only to return a moment later with another vial of Dreamless Sleep potion which he quietly handed her. "You may need it."

"Thank you Severus," she said softly giving him a small smile.  "What would I do without you?" she teased lightly.

"Lie awake all night staring restlessly at the ceiling no doubt," he jested as he lead her out the door and turned back momentarily to re-instate the wards.  "Let's get you back to your rooms."

"You don't have to escort me back to my quarters.  I'll be fine really," she told the man standing beside her. 

"Do you object to my escorting you Hermione?" he asked frowning slightly.

"No!" she answered emphatically. Blushing slightly at her reaction and stammered,  "It's just, I mean…  Well, I don't want to put you to any unnecessary trouble on my behalf is all."

"If I felt you are 'any trouble' as you so eloquently put it then I wouldn't bother now would I?" Snape asked, his voice full of derision as they began walking through the quiet hallways of Hogwarts.  

"No I guess not," she replied and was startled by giggling from a darkened corner.  

Stopping suddenly, the potions master turned and walked toward the direction of the sound.  "Ten points from both Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw for being caught out after curfew," he said menacingly to two frightened looking sixth year students.  "And if you aren't back in your respective dormitories within the next two minutes it will be an additional ten points each."

Hermione was barely able to contain her laughter as the two students took off running at break-neck speed towards their dorms before the potion's master could make good on his threat of deducting additional house points.  

"Do you find something amusing Professor Granger?" he asked and she could see the amusement hidden in the depths of his obsidian eyes. 

"Why, not at all Professor Snape," she replied playfully.  "I'm just happy they weren't Gryffindor's."

"You should be," he answered, "for if they had been, I would have deducted twenty points each."

"You would have too," she muttered as they completed their journey to her quarters. 

Upon arriving, Hermione muttered the incantations that would remove the wards and opened her door.  "Thank you, for walking back with me," she told the potion's master shyly. 

Acknowledging her words with a small nod he briefly brushed long elegant fingers against her cheek.  "We can continue our research tomorrow evening after the staff meeting providing you feel up to it."

"I'd like that.  I feel like we have far too much to do in far too little time," she said as she reached out with her own hand to mirror his gesture.

"That, my dear lady, is because we do" he replied lightly and lowered his hand.  "I will see you tomorrow.  Goodnight Hermione."

"Goodnight Severus," she replied softly and stepped into her rooms as he turned and walked away.

Snape found himself walking back to his quarters in a good mood. A fact that the fourth year Gryffindor he came across should be exceedingly thankful for.  The professor was in such a good mood in fact that he settled for giving the errant student a menacing scowl and a muttered "back to your dorms unless you want detention with Filch" rather than deducting the usual house points he would ordinarily delight in.  However, under no circumstances, would he admit to himself that his regard for the Hogwarts charms professor had anything to do with his decision in NOT deducting points from Gryffindor. 

Mentally reviewing the incredibly long list of items that needed to be researched he removed the wards and entered his quarters, automatically replacing the wards once he was inside.  He was so engrossed in his thoughts that he nearly missed the small 'pop' that emanated from the fireplace.  Looking into the green flames he expected to see the face of Albus Dumbledore looking back at him and was shocked completely out of his reverie when he found himself staring into the face of none other than Lucius Malfoy.               

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note: And the plot thickens…   Okay, two chapters to ring in the New Year.  Not too shabby, was it?  Please don't forget to leave a few crumbs under the REVIEW button.  Feeding the author is always appreciated.  VBG     


	12. Chapter Twelve

Disclaimers:  Refer to Chapter One

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Twelve 

"Lucius," Snape greeted the uninvited caller in a tone so cold that it might very well have the ability to instantly freeze molten lava. "What an unexpected, not to mention unwanted, delight." 

The potion master's sarcasm was not lost on the fair-haired wizard surveying him from the fireplace.  "Severus, dear friend, is that any way to treat someone who is merely concerned for your well being?  After all, it's been a long time since we last saw one another."

"Not nearly long enough _dear friend_ so speak your piece and leave me the hell alone."  

"Ah, still a little upset over our last meeting I see," the dark wizard chuckled.  "You were always one to hold a grudge weren't you?"

"If memory serves me correctly, you tried to kill me when last we met.  That type of thing tends to irritate me. Now is there a point to this conversation Lucius or are you merely slumming?" Snape asked in a bored voice.  Walking over to the Liquor cabinet he poured a drink and took a seat on the sofa that Hermione had vacated not so very long ago.  

"From what I hear, you are the one that seems to be slumming lately.  First you turn your back on our master and the rest of your brothers in favor of that doddering old muggle-loving fool and now I hear reports that you seem to be displaying an interest in a certain mudblood. Have you no shame Severus? No respect left for the time-honored ways and values which we so diligently live our lives by?" Malfoy angrily spat.

Snape sat back quietly listening to the Death Eater's words.  Lucius's views on Albus Dumbledore and muggleborns were common knowledge and something that wouldn't be changed through the exchange of mere words or arguments.  Therefore he decided the best course of action was to merely gloss over the other man's words and push toward an end to the conversation. "My values remain as intact as ever Lucius although yours still seem questionable at best.  Now, the hour grows late and I find myself tiring of your little visit so, unless you have something of some importance to impart to me, I suggest we end this conversation."    

"I would call my son 'something of some importance' wouldn't you?" he asked allowing his voice to rise in volume.  "You turned him against me, against the Dark Lord, against his rightful future and look where it got him… killed.  And for what?  Voldemort will still win this war and you and your pathetic group of muggle lovers will kneel before him before you are granted the courtesy of dying. My only hope is that I'm allowed the pleasure of overseeing the deaths of those closest to you.  And believe me, die they will although I shall allow you the honor of living long enough to witness such glorious events. You will pay dearly for what you have done to the Malfoy family Severus and you will pay with every last breath you draw."

"You always were one for the dramatic weren't you?" the potion's master replied calmly, lifting his hand to his mouth in an obvious attempt to stifle a yawn.  "However, I feel that I must point out one rather large flaw in your foolish ramblings.  I did not turn your son against you.  You managed that entirely on your own and therefore must claim credit for any consequences that may have been born as a result."

"I did nothing of the sort," Lucius Malfoy spit out, his temper obviously beginning to get the best of him.  "All of those years he spent under your 'tutelage' at Hogwart's were nothing more than a cover.  Instead of teaching him the ways of a Slytherin you were actually teaching him to betray the Malfoy family name!"

"Oh do calm down Lucius before your incessant ramblings give us both a headache.  Draco turned from you as a result of what you did to Narcissa.  Again, you have only yourself to blame."

"I did nothing to the woman" Malfoy managed to ground out through clenched teeth.

"True enough," Snape agreed with a false congeniality.  "Providing of course that you consider spousal abuse, rape and murder to be nothing."

"Lies! You told him lies!" Draco's father spit venomously.

"I told him nothing!" Severus exclaimed slamming his glass down on the table before him.  "He was there that night Lucius.  He saw everything from under the cover of your invisibility cloak.  He was sickened when he realized that all of your posturing was nothing more than a smokescreen that served to hide your true nature.  So stop your pathetic wounded father act and go back to being the traitorous lapdog that you are.  I for one have heard enough of your self proclamations to last a lifetime."

"It will be a very short lifetime you muggle loving coward," the angry man hissed.  "Our Lord will be making his final strikes soon enough but until then, be warned, for I am watching you.  You cannot hide behind the robes of that aging fool forever.  Sooner or later you will find it necessary to leave the castle grounds and rest assured that when that time comes, I will be there, waiting for you.  In the meantime, enjoy your mudblood whore while you can.  After all, you never know when accidents might happen."  

One final 'pop' sounded from the fireplace and the potions master once again found himself alone in the quiet confines of his own chambers.  Allowing his head to fall into his hands he sat quietly for several minutes considering Lucius' words.  He knew the man well enough to know that the threats made against him were anything but idle.  Draco's defection to the order had brought shame upon the Malfoy family in the eyes of both the Dark Lord and his followers.  More likely than not, Lucius had paid the for the boy's change in loyalties through some form of severe punishment by Voldemort as a result.  And while Severus wasn't worried by the threats the dark wizard had made against him personally, he was concerned for those directed at Hermione. After all, Lucius would derive a sort of twisted satisfaction at the thought of harming the young witch if he truly believed she played even the minutest role in Snape's affections. And Severus was finally able to admit to himself that the one-time know-it-all was becoming increasingly important to him. 

Shaking his head in exasperation, the ex-death eater stood up and walked to the fireplace.  Grabbing a small handful of floo powder, he tossed it into the fire and stood back as the flames sparked higher.  "Albus Dumbledore," he muttered impatiently and stepped into the green flames that would transport him directly to the headmaster's office. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The first sight that greeted him as he stepped from the fireplace was that of the magnificent phoenix perched on a golden pedestal at the far end of the office.  "Hello Fawkes" the potions master greeted the bird and was rewarded with a soft call from Dumbledore's feathered friend.  

"Ah Severus," the headmaster said as he descended the spiral staircase.  "What an unexpected but pleasant surprise."

"You may not think my visit so pleasant when you hear what I have to say Albus," Snape replied tersely.  "I just received a visit from none other than Lucius Malfoy."

"Ah yes, Mr. Malfoy.  I was wondering how much longer we would have to wait before he made an appearance.  I suspect he was upset by young Draco's death, was he not?" the headmaster questioned as he summoned two cups of hot cocoa and handed one to Snape.     

Taking a sip of the warm liquid, Severus sighed and took a seat opposite the headmaster.  "Yes.  Although he seemed more concerned with regards to the direction of Draco's loyalties than in the fact that the boy is no longer alive and well."

"Indeed, such a pity" Dumbledore said softly shaking his head with regret.  "I assume Mr. Malfoy blames you for Draco's change of heart?"

"Most definitely although I did take the liberty of pointing out to him that Draco's 'change of heart' as you put it was a direct result of his own failure as a father rather than my deliberate intervention into the affairs of the Malfoy family's future," the younger man sneered.

"Alas, I truly doubt Lucius would have been nominated for any father-of-the-year awards even if young Mr. Malfoy had decided to follow his father's path.  Do you?"

"Certainly not," Severus scoffed.  "At any rate, he did mention that Voldemort is planning his final strike in the very near future which seems to validate our own theories."

"Sadly so.  Did he give any indication as to what form we might expect this strike to arrive in?" the older wizard asked in a voice that suggested he knew the answer before the question had a chance to exit his mouth.

"No, merely that it would be soon, that Voldemort would be the victor and that we will all exit this miserable world in a blaze of kneeling, torturous disgrace, at the feet of the Dark Lord himself" the potions master said.  "In other words, his usual ramblings of superiority and world domination."

"Ah yes, Lucius always did tend to run on about such things," Albus agreed.  "Severus, did he say anything else?"

Snape hesitated for a moment upon hearing the headmaster's question.  'How much should I tell him?' he thought to himself.  'Better yet, how much of it was Lucius rambling and how much will the blackguard actually attempt to carry through with?'

Deciding that Lucius was serious enough to attempt something and worried that he might make some type of attempt against Hermione, Severus went ahead and shared the remainder of their conversation with his friend and mentor.  

"I see" Dumbledore said quietly.  "And you think that Professor Granger may be in the greatest amount of danger?"

"Lucius seems to believe that I have expressed an interest in her and therefore would not hesitate to harm her if he thought that by doing so, he could get back at me in the process. I can only assume that Voldemort has spies amongst the children and that at least one of them have mentioned the fact that Professor Granger and I seem to be spending more time than usual together.  They would have no way of knowing that time is spent in an effort to defeat Voldemort himself."

Dumbledore nearly laughed at Snape's words and his obvious attempt to downplay any personal feelings between himself and Hermione.  However, he knew the younger man well enough to know that if he was taking the time to bring the matter to light than the threat was more than likely genuine.  And while the headmaster would not mind seeing a relationship develop between two of his most favorite professors, he also wanted to do everything in his power to ensure their safety.  "Very well, we will have to keep a very close eye on Professor Granger.  She will not be allowed to leave the castle unless she has someone with her and I would appreciate it very much if you would keep watch over her when classes are not in session.  I especially do not want her wandering the halls during the evenings by herself."

"I will do my best although I doubt that it would be wise to inform the professor that she has been placed under house arrest as it were" he replied with a small grin at the thought of the young witch's reaction to such news.  

"Perhaps you are right Severus.  Perhaps discretion will serve to aide us better in this particular instance," Dumbledore agreed.  "In light of this evening's news, I can't stress the necessity of continuing with our plans with the utmost speed and precision.  I trust that you and Professor Granger will succeed in this as you do in all else."

"We will do our best headmaster," Snape replied grabbing a handful of floo powder.  Wishing his friend a good night, he deftly tossed the powdery substance into the fireplace and returned to the solace of his own quarters. 

"I do worry for them Fawkes," Dumbledore said quietly as he extinguished the lights and ascended the staircase to turn in for the night. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 TBC


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Disclaimer:  See chapter One

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Thirteen 

The next few weeks seemed to fly by as Severus and Hermione continued their research on what they had jokingly dubbed the 'reptilian cocktail'. Snape spent his time focusing more on the potions aspect of the plan while Hermione researched everything she could find regarding both tracking spells and various magical methods of medical monitoring.  Lucius Malfoy had not made any more surprise visits by floo and muggle killings seemed to have diminished somewhat.  In addition, Snape found that his relationship with the charms professor was becoming more of a reality than a theoretical possibility. Even if that reality was progressing very slowly.  All in all he had to grudgingly concede that, for once, things seemed to be going quite well.  And that was what worried him the most. 

"Severus?" Hermione asked one evening as they sat together in front of the fire.  "Has something happened that you aren't telling me about?"

The potion master's body tensed suddenly in reaction to her quietly spoke question. He had chosen not to tell her about Lucius' visit and the threats that subsequently came with it.  To do so would only have made the young woman nervous.  At least, that's what he told himself.  'It would have made her angry and more apt to do something reckless' his traitorous inner voice whispered.  'And that's what you're most afraid of isn't it?  That she will run off and take matters into her own hands without thinking and end up being harmed.  Or worse…' Yes, he silently acknowledged, that was exactly what he was worried about.  Hermione's reactions to any given situation had always been typically Gryffindor and that translated into such words as 'Noble' and 'Heroic'.  'Hell, even 'Self-Sacrificing' comes to mind' the Slytherin thought with trepidation.  And while she wasn't as apt as some of her former housemates to run headlong into danger without at least considering the consequences she was still likely to be ruled by those impulses to a certain degree. 

Running his hand over her hair he continued to stare into the flames as he answered her question.  "No, why do you ask?"

"You seem more on edge than normal as if you're waiting for something to happen but you're not sure what," she replied.  "And of course, there's the fact that I haven't been able to go anywhere over the past three weeks without someone either being with me or following me at a 'discreet' distance."

'Well, that got his attention,' she thought to herself as she felt him flinch momentarily at her words.  In truth, she wasn't certain whether or not anything had happened or if Snape's recent behavior was nothing more than nerves and caution as a result of the potion they were attempting to develop.   And of course the fact that she didn't seem to be able to go anywhere in the castle by herself could be nothing more than a combination of mere coincidence and an over-active imagine but somehow she didn't think so. 

"I'm sure I don't know what you're referring to," Severus replied automatically reverting back to the tone of voice he used in his classroom.

"Really?" Hermione snorted in disbelief deciding that the only way she was going to get any real answers was to push the issue.  "Well, let me spell it out for you.  First, I have been plagued with questions from other professors recently only whilst I am traversing the hallways and as soon as I arrive at my destination, these same professors seem to remember something they were supposed to do and leave before I've had a chance to complete the answer.  Almost as if the questions were mere excuses and their true intention was to escort me to wherever I happened to be going.  I mean, really, don't you find it the least bit odd that they never have questions while I'm actually in my classroom?  I can't leave the castle to go walking around the grounds without Hagrid always being somewhere nearby and Minerva has taken to visiting me in the classroom during the hours that I keep open for student conferences.  Top that off with the fact that Albus has taken to escorting me to breakfast, Minerva escorts me to lunch and you accompany me to dinner.  Now, have I left anything out?"  

"I imagine that I could arrange for Peeves to escort you to dinner if you prefer," Snape replied with a glint of mischief in his eyes.  "Or the bloody baron owes me a favor or two…"

"Severus! This isn't funny!" she exclaimed loudly and sat up to stare directly at him.  Seeing the amusement on his face she unconsciously pursed her lips in a petulant expression and assumed her bossiest tone of voice.  "Well, it isn't and I want to know what's going on.  Now!"

Snape looked at the young woman sitting before him and was torn between a desire to further tease her and a desire to take her into his arms and never let her go.  However, judging from the look on her face, he decided that the best course of action was to simply tell her the truth.  'She's already guessed it and we were lucky she allowed it to continue this long' he thought to himself in mild amazement.  

"I had a visit from Lucius Malfoy," he told her, schooling his expression and tone of voice to that more befitting of such a serious matter.  

"When?" she gasped in surprise.

"He used the floo connection in my quarters to have a chat the same night we discussed the addition of the tracking and monitoring charms" Snape answered with a small sigh as he anticipated Hermione's next reaction.

"But that was three weeks ago!" she all but shouted.  "You don't think you might have found some time to mention it in all the time we've worked together since?"

'Congratulations Severus, you called that one correctly,' the inner voice mocked from somewhere deep inside his head.  'Oh shut up,' he told the voice and firmly squashed it into silence.  Snape presented an air of aloofness to the world that usually shielded him from having to put up with more than the bare minimum of human contact and those persons that did interact with him usually didn't dare to take the potions master to task for fear of becoming the focus of his legendary sarcasm and scathing comments.  Of course, none of those people were Hermione Granger who took the phrase 'Gryffindor courage' to extraordinary new heights.  Now, as he sat looking at the angry young woman seated before him, he realized that he had little experience with raging females and wondered at the best course of action.  Being Snape, he decided to fall back to the familiar and fixed her with a trademark glare as he sarcastically replied, "Calm yourself Miss Granger.  You were not informed of the encounter because it was not necessary for you to be so."

For a brief moment, Hermione simply stared at the potions master in surprise.  'Miss Granger?' she thought to herself angrily.  'What the…  Fine, if that's the way he wants to play it then so be it' she told herself and focused a steely, determined gaze on the man in front of her.   "First of all, _Professor Snape_, you can drop the overgrown bat routine because it doesn't work on me any longer.  I'm no longer one of your students which means that you can't bully me or deduct house points or threaten me with a detention to avoid this discussion."

"Pity," he mumbled half under his breath in response to her outburst. 

"Second," she continued as if he hadn't spoken, "it seems to have been necessary to inform everyone else and considering the additional company I've received lately I'm beginning to think that I must have been a part of what ever conversation transpired between the two of you.  So, with this in mind, I ask you again professor, why wasn't I informed?"

"Because we didn't think it necessary to worry you after everything you've been through lately on the mere chance that Lucius might try to get at me through you," he snapped and then proceeded to relate the details of his conversation with the blond-haired wizard.

"So you decided to try and protect me by keeping me in the dark How very Slytherin of you professor" she said when Snape had finished.  "But what I don't understand is why?  I mean, what did you think I was going to do if you told me?"

"Given recent events as well as your past history and previous escapades with Potter and Weasley it seemed possible that you might try to take matters into your own hands.  An outcome we were trying to avoid," he said leaning his head against the back of the sofa and momentarily closing his eyes. 

"But Harry and Ron aren't even here," she said in confusion.

"A fact that I am profoundly grateful for," Snape solemnly replied. 

"Well, I think Malfoy was bluffing," she said allowing herself to calm down once again.  "He's probably heard that we're working together on something and he's fishing for information. That's all."

"It's possible although he seemed to think that our relationship is more of a personal nature.  You would do well to steer clear of him.  Between Draco's death and my defection, he's very angry and will not hesitate to harm anyone he thinks I might have even so much of a passing interest in" he told her, tracing the outline of her cheek with his fingers.  "You must be careful."

"Alright," she agreed sighing.  "But I don't have to like it and I still don't see how he can do anything to me while I'm here at Hogwarts."

"There are ways Hermione and Lucius Malfoy is a very determined man.  Do not take his posturing lightly for he has no conscience and the concepts of right and wrong exist, in his mind, only to serve him.  You'll allow the other teachers to escort you throughout the school?" he asked although it was phrased as more of a command than a question.

"I suppose so," she agreed reluctantly. "But what about the supplies we need for the project?  One of us needs to make a trip to Hogsmeade soon before we can start brewing and it can't be you."

"Albus has agreed to allow you to make trips into town when necessary provided that you are accompanied by someone," he informed her.  "I was hoping that since we can't work on the potion tomorrow due to that foolish excuse of frivolity that Albus insists on calling a Valentine's Ball, that we could compile our listing of necessary supplies on Saturday.  You could then plan on making the trip to Hogsmeade with Minerva on Sunday and arrange to have them forwarded to the dungeons.  Besides, Minerva tells me that she needs to make a trip to Flourish and Blotts.  Something about a gift for her sister's birthday or some other such nonsense."

"I love that store," she told him thinking of the rows and rows of books stacked within.

"Somehow, I thought you might," he smiled. 

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  Hey, I actually did it!  I managed to get another chapter turned out by the end of the weekend.  This one was a difficult chapter for me to write although I haven't figured out why it was any more difficult to put down on paper than the others.  Anyway, reviews would be very welcomed and thank you to those of you who reviewed the last posting. 

~Jules    


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Disclaimer:  See chapter One

Author's Note:  Please notice the rating increase from PG-13 to R.  This was done as a result of the lemony goodness within this chapter.  While I don't feel that it really rates an 'R', I figured that it is always better to be safe then sorry and there is a chapter in the future that probably will require the increased rating.  So, without further blathering on my part… On with the story!  

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Fourteen 

Friday evening saw Hermione standing in front of the full-length mirror in her room staring critically at her reflection.   A waterfall of untamed curls flared above her shoulders fanning over her arms and halfway down her back.  Glancing ruefully at the reflection staring back at her she frowned and turned to the side to take in her appearance from a different angle.

"Honestly Crookshanks, I don't know why I'm bothering," she told the orange bundle of fur in exasperation.  "It's not like I've ever worried about Valentine's Day before," she reasoned and then shook her head in disgust as her familiar leaped onto the bed, settled into a comfortable position, looked at his mistress with a rather bored expression and then laid his head down to take a nap.  

'Great, I can't even get my own cat to take an interest so how do I expect to get _him_ to notice?' she thought to herself in despair as she looked at the dress hanging off her slim figure.  And 'hanging' was the appropriate word.  The dress boasted of a deep burgundy colored velvet and little else.  "Oh Crooks, it looks like a sack!" she moaned taking in the straight cut, the high-necked collar and the long sleeves.  "The ghosts wouldn't even take a second glance and they're all dead."

Valentine's Day at the school had been stress filled and it was all she could do just to keep the children focused during lessons.  Several of the students had received owls in class carrying cards, candy and love letters while some of the boys had sauntered throughout the halls serenading their objects of affection in loud, boisterous voices.  Some of the more quiet youngsters could be found in hallway corners spouting words of undying love and one student actually had the audacity to show up with a crossbow that was charmed to shoot singing arrows at its target.  Luckily the arrows dropped to the floor and exploded into a burst of red and pink flowers just before reaching the recipient so no one was hurt.  'Except of course those of us who had to listen to those songs!' she thought shuddering at the memory of one rather explicit song in particular.    

Turning her attention back to the matter at hand she wondered what to do about her appearance.  While she had never really paid attention to this particular holiday in the past, she found herself worrying about it now.  "And for what?" she asked her reflection mockingly.  Well, she knew what for, or rather who for.  It was all for _him.  _The only man in the entire school that could make her knees turn to jelly and her brain go to mush just by walking into the room. 

"Dear me," the enchanted mirror said in a grandmotherly voice "That dress reminds me of those old fashioned night gowns those poor girls wore back in the eighteenth century.  Nothing was allowed to show at all," the mirror continued.  "All you need now is a braid draped down your back dearie and you'll be set."

Not for the first time, Hermione considered hexing her mirror into oblivion.  Always in the past she had managed to stop herself just in time from flicking her wand and uttering the incantation that would shut the mirror up once and for all.  'Tonight, however, might just be the exception' she thought angrily.

"Well Crooks, I guess it's time to put those transfiguration lessons to good use," she told the sleeping cat as she reached for her wand.  "Now let's see, something a little more modern that shows a little more skin…  Hmmm…" and suddenly her wand was shooting tiny streams of colored lights as she swished and flicked her way into a new outfit that would have made Beau Brummel proud.  "There, that should do it," she muttered surveying her handiwork.  No longer did a frumpy eighteenth century matron stare back at her from the reflective glass of the antique mirror.  Instead, a modern well-figured, much more scantily clad young woman stared back.  Hermione had removed the sleeves from the dress as well as the high-necked collar and turned the dress into a little burgundy number that was strapless and form fitting from the waist up.  The skirt gently flared out from her waist into a pool of burgundy iridescent taffeta that softly rustled when she walked and ended just below her calves.   "There now, that's better" she said to no one in particular and was rewarded by the agreement of the mirror itself.  "Now, for the shoes.  Deciding that the black patent pumps sitting on her bed were simply all wrong, she waved her wand and transfigured them into a pair of impossibly high heeled strappy sandals made from the same colored taffeta as the skirt of her dress. Another flick of the wand and her make-up was in place as well as a necklace and earrings that were just enough to accent but not overshadow her ensemble.  

"And now for the hair," she murmured as she thoughtfully looked over her reflection.  "Up or down?" she asked the kneazle and was rewarded with nothing more than the steady rise and fall of the cat's long fur as he continued napping blissfully.  "Well, you're no help," she muttered good-naturedly.  Casting a few spells she looked up to see an intricate hairdo that was pulled back from her face and partially piled on top of her head.  The back of her hair consisted of long spiral curls that cascaded gracefully down her back. "Well, if he doesn't notice this then I don't know what it will take," she murmured, pleased by the reflection of the young woman that now peered back at her. 

The truth of the matter, plain and simple, was that she happened to like Hogwart's resident Potions Master.  A lot.  And she thought, or rather she hoped, that he might be realizing that his feelings lie along the same path as her own.  He had seemed less moody lately which was a good sign and the worry had seemed to be lifted ever so slightly from his countenance during the past few weeks.  'And we have been seeing a lot of each other,' she thought to herself. Of course that could simply be a result of the research they were working on but somehow she didn't think so.  Most research projects didn't include long talks in front of the fire each night before being walked back to your room and given a good night kiss.  But that was as far as it went other than a little hand holding here and there.  If nothing else, Severus Snape was a gentleman but if she allowed things to continue at this pace she would be older than her grandmother before anything of consequence happened in the relationship.  And Hermione had decided, after much soul searching, that she very much wanted something to happen.  So, Step One of her plan was to start that process by looking the part tonight.  Step Two would consist of being a little more forthright in her advances and Step Three… well, she would just deal with that step once she got to it.  'If I ever get to it that is' she thought with a small grimace.  But still, she would have to exert at least some subtlety because he was not a man that was going to go for flash and extravagance.  'No Valentine's Day poems or songs of undying affection for this guy,' she told herself.  Of course she was thankful for these traits as she herself tended to shy away from overt displays of affection.  

Her musings were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door.  Taking one final look at her appearance she took a deep breath, opened the door and nearly fainted.  Standing in front of her was the very man she had spent the last half hour dreaming about clad in an elegant black formal dress shirt and trousers.  His raven locks were neatly pulled back in a ponytail and he had exchanged his black school robes for a set of robes that was more tailored and in vogue.  Black also, of course.   

"Professor Granger," he said with a small smile at the obvious appreciation on her face.  "You look beautiful this evening."

"You don't look so bad yourself Professor Snape," she replied and placed her hand in the crook of the outstretched arm he offered.  

Entering the Great Hall Severus and Hermione immediately found their senses accosted by the sights and sounds of Cupid's holiday.  The room that was usually so stately and sedate was now engulfed with varying shades of pink, red and white that seemed to settle over everything from the floors to the ceiling.  Tiny hearts had been enchanted to rain down from the ceiling and softly disappear just before they touched the floor.  Miniature cupids flew throughout the room softly prodding people with their bows and arrows and an endless variety of flowers adorned the refreshment tables.   

"I see that Albus has been busy yet again," Snape remarked sarcastically.  "I am all but certain the man adds more decorations every year, if that's possible."  

Before Hermione could reply, the subject of the potion master's derision appeared before them clothed in richly decorated robes of red and white brocade that were trimmed off in a band of tiny hearts.  

"Severus, Hermione," the older wizard called happily, "I'm so glad you could celebrate with us this evening."

"You left no room for doubt that our attendance was mandatory if I remember correctly Albus" Snape remarked dryly while Hermione tried to keep from laughing.  "Something about chaperoning the deluded dunderheads?"

"So I did although I am quite certain that I did not phrase it as such," the headmaster agreed with a twinkle in his ever-bright blue eyes.  Turning to the young Gryffindor still draped on Severus' arm he remarked "Hermione, my dear, you look radiant this evening and, I might add, that this is the first time that I've seen Severus in such fine form at a Valentine's Ball."

"Hmmf" the younger man snorted but retaliated by saying to the headmaster, "It looks like I am to be forever beleaguered in this ghastly decorated hell for the lovelorn." 

"Come now Severus, if this is Hell then it can't be too bad when you have such beautiful companionship," Dumbledore told him cheerfully and beamed at Hermione. 

"You may have a point," Snape said although that was the only concession he would allow the older wizard.  

"Enjoy yourselves," the headmaster called as he left in search of the deputy headmistress. 

"Cheer up Severus.  It's not all bad and in a little while you can walk the grounds and deduct house points from students making out in the bushes" Hermione told him mischievously. 

"If they're thickheaded enough to get caught then they deserve to have points deducted" he replied in a low voice while glaring at a seventh year Slytherin that was leering at Hermione.  Seeing the look on his Head-of-House' face, the boy straightened up and sauntered off to stand by a group of fellow Slytherins.

"Maybe you should send them all to the infirmary where Poppy can give them a talk about the birds and the bees and the wonders of safe sex," she laughed.  Seeing the look that passed over his face at the idea she smiled and shook her head.  "No Severus, I was just joking."

The debate concerning disciplinary methods was interrupted by the arrival of Madam Hooch and Professor Sprout.  "Hermione, you look lovely," the herbology professor told the young witch. "Severus, you look very nice yourself this evening."

"I'll say," the flying instructor agreed.  "Severus, you are going to dance this evening aren't you?"

"Perhaps," the potion master conceded hoping that he might avoid occupying a spot on the woman's dance card.  Madam Hooch was agreeable enough as far as conversation went but dancing with her, in Severus' opinion, was similar to what he imagined dancing with a herd of centaurs might be like.  Painful. The woman was all feet when she danced and those feet always managed to mangle his own.

The evening passed quickly enough.  Hermione found herself dancing with several of the teachers as well as a few of the students and generally had a good time.  The high point of the Ball however, in her opinion at least, was when she would dance with Severus.  The first time they walked onto the dance floor, there was a general hush as both students and faculty stared in surprise at the couple.  It was a well-known fact that Snape didn't dance at the school Balls and on those rare occasions when he did, it was only for one or two obligatory dances before he exited to the gardens to harass the students.  Tonight however was different.  The professor had remained inside for most of the evening and was seen in the company of the charms professor more often than not.  By the end of the evening it was fairly evident to both staff and students that something was happening between them.  

Escorting her out of the Great Hall, Snape suddenly stopped when they reached the stairway that would lead them to her rooms.  "Hermione, would you like to come my rooms for a nightcap?" he asked quickly as if he was afraid his courage would fail him.

Hermione looked at the man standing before her.  'He looks almost nervous,' she thought to herself in confusion.  'I wonder why?'  

"A nightcap sounds great," she replied and they chatted amicably all the way to the dungeons.   

Deactivating the wards, Snape allowed her to enter before him and then followed her inside pausing long enough to reactivate the wards and cast lumos on the room.  

Motioning to the fireplace, Hermione tipped her wand in an unspoken question.  Seeing the potions master give a slight nod of his head, she smiled and proceeded to mutter the spell that would bring a raging fire to life.  Accepting the glass which Severus handed to her, she sat down beside him and watched in silence as the flames danced, their movements casting shadows on the walls throughout the room.  

"You really did look beautiful tonight," Severus told her quietly as he turned to take in the petite features of her face.  "Thank you for spending your evening with me."

"It was my pleasure," she told him honestly and placed her glass on the table in front of them.  "You know, I think you set a few hearts fluttering tonight."

"Somehow, I doubt that" he snorted in disbelief.

"No, I'm serious.  I heard a few of the Ravenclaws talking at the refreshment table.  They were quite impressed.  _I _was quite impressed," she said softly as she reached up to finger the ponytail at the nape of his neck  

"There's only one heart I'm interested in at the moment," he replied and she could see the beginnings of a fire smoldering in the depths of his eyes.  "Hermione…"

He didn't get any further in finishing his sentence as the Gryffindor unwrapped her fingers from his hair and rested them against the back of his neck.  Before either of them really knew what was happening she had gently pulled him closer and covered his lips with her own in the softest of kisses.

Her lips were hesitant as if asking his permission to continue this miraculous contact.  Always in the past, he had been the one to initiate their kisses before saying goodnight and heading back to his own rooms but tonight she was the one to step forward and the thought left his mind in a wondrous haze of emotions.  Lifting his hands, he gently cupped her face and returned the kiss allowing her to set the pace.  Before each of them realized it, a fire was raging from deep within them both that burned hotter and brighter than the one she had started in the fireplace just moments before.  Soon, his lips left the sweet haven of her mouth and trailed tiny kisses along her cheek and down her throat as she threw back her head and arched her neck in a welcoming gesture.  

Hermione, for her part, was caught up in a vortex of both physical and emotional responses.  Her body instinctively gravitated closer to his as both of her hands rose of their own volition to wrap securely around his neck in an attempt to draw him even closer and communicate her desire for him to continue his assault.  A soft moan escaped her mouth and a fine shudder passed through him at the sound of her pleasure.    

Leaning back against the sofa, she pulled him with her and unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt so that she could slide her hands beneath the soft fabric and caress the skin that lay hidden beneath.  This time, a moan escaped his own lips and she reveled in the sound knowing that he was as pleased as she was by their mutual actions. Within moments he had lowered the zipper at the back of her dress and allowed his hands to roam her body in gentle adoration.  It wasn't long before both of them were tugging and pulling at the material that hindered their explorations of one another with an obvious need to draw as close to the other as physical limitations would allow. 

"Severus," she moaned in response to his latest barrage of caresses and wrapped a high-heeled clad foot around the back of his leg in an effort to pull him closer.

Suddenly, he pulled back from her with a groan and took a few deep breaths in a concentrated effort to slow his breathing.  "Hermione," he said gazing at the half clad woman lying beneath him.  "If we continue like this for much longer I won't be able to stop and I don't want to push you into anything that you might not be ready for."

Placing a finger against his lips she smiled slowly in response to his words.  "Severus, if I wasn't ready then I wouldn't be here now, like this, lying underneath you on your couch praying that you would just move past this conversation and make love to me."

Upon hearing her words, words that he thought he would only ever dream of hearing her say, his eyes became wide with amazement.  "You mean that you want to…" he asked incredulously.

"Oh yes," she assured him with a sultry smile.  "I very much want to" she said pulling his head down for another searing kiss.  "Take me to bed Severus.  Please."

"Your wish is my command my lady," he said as the melodic tones of his velvet voice sent shivers throughout her body. Standing up, he lifted her and gently cradled her in his arms as he carried her into his bedroom.  Lighting the fire, he pulled back the satin covers on the large four-poster bed and gently sat her down as he kneeled to remove her shoes.  Slowly, his fingers brushed teasingly against her delicate ankles as he deftly undid the buckles that held the sandals in place.  Carefully setting each shoe off to the side, he lifted her feet and softly pressed a kiss where each buckle had rested before lifting his eyes to search her face.  "I want you so much," he whispered, the raw need obvious in both his eyes and voice.

"Then have me," she replied simply and pulled him down on the bed with her as they once again began their exploration of one another's bodies. They continued their ministrations and mapping of one another far into the night until they could take no more.  With one final assurance from the woman lying beneath him, Severus cradled himself between her thighs and took the last step that would complete their joining.  Hermione's eyes opened wide in wonder as he filled her and they began to dance a rhythm as old as time. A rhythm that began slowly, their bodies moving in unison as they instinctively picked up momentum until they finally reached a pinnacle of ecstasy and exploded together into a world that consisted of nothing but fireworks and the most glorious of sensations.  

Some time later Snape rolled over and nestled her close against the contours of his own body.  Both were sated and tired from their journey but as they drifted off to sleep in that same state of euphoria, neither one could remember a time when the world had seemed more perfect than it had this night.  

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Disclaimer:  See chapter One

**When Living is No Longer Enough…**

Chapter Fifteen 

Hermione awoke to the sensation of a hand gently stroking her hair.  Slowly stretching, she opened her eyes to find a pair of obsidian orbs cautiously observing her.  Hoping to dispel the usual 'morning after' awkwardness that invariably accompanied first-time encounters, she reached up and traced the outline of his jaw gently with her fingers and smiled.  "Good morning," she murmured shyly, silently offering up a prayer that her voice didn't betray the nervousness she felt.   

Snape, for his part, had been observing the beautiful young witch as she slept and had been worried as to what her reaction would be once the cold reality of daylight settled in.  'She'll probably gasp in shock and run for the door,' he thought to himself automatically assuming that she would be horrified by their earlier actions.  'Of course, that would be preferable to a bout of hysterics.'  However, when the moment had finally arrived, he was pleased to find that he was the one in shock as he watched her face light up and felt the gentle caress of her fingers.  She wasn't running as he had feared or showing signs of remorse or even giving the slightest inclination that she considered their encounter to be disagreeable in any way. 

"Good Morning," he answered softly.  "Sleep well?"

"Considering the fact that we didn't doze off until sometime past four in the morning, I'd say yes," she answered with a grin.  "What time is it now?"

"Just past ten o'clock.  I'm afraid we missed breakfast but we can have the house-elves send something up from the kitchen.  Are you hungry for anything in particular?" he asked as she sat up and searched the room for her clothing.

"Hungry?" she asked with a glint in her eye.  "Yes, I'm definitely hungry but not for anything the house-elves can bring me."

"You are entirely impossible," Snape said as he rolled over and gave her one final kiss before stepping out of bed.  "Not that I'm complaining of course…"

"Of course…" she agreed laughing.  "Um Severus… about breakfast, you do realize that our absence will be noted?"

"Yes.  I have no doubt that we will be the topic of the day," he replied sardonically.  Frowning, he looked at the young woman in front of him in concern.  "Does that bother you?"

"Bother me?" she asked momentarily confused by his question.  "No, I mean, why would it bother me?"

"I just thought that maybe, you might be, well… a little uncomfortable with the things that people might say after…" his voice trailed off uncertainly and Hermione could see him shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"Severus Snape," she scolded lightly as she wrapped the sheet around her slim form and walked over to stand directly in front of him. "Let's get one thing perfectly clear right now. I have absolutely no regrets about last night.  As a matter of fact, I'm hoping for an encore performance in the very near future.  My only worry is that you have doubts or will be upset by any gossip that our evening may have sparked."

"None whatsoever," he replied kissing her lightly on the forehead.  "It's not as if this is the first time that the gossips have had the opportunity to say a few words behind my back.  Although, I admit I am curious to hear some of the stories they come up with this time.  Probably something along the lines of how the evil potions master seduced and ravished the beautiful young charms professor… and all under the guise of a Lover's holidayno less."

"Yes, how very cunning of you," she agreed laughingly and leaned against him momentarily for one final kiss before picking up her clothes and heading for the bathroom. "I'll be out in a moment and then I'll floo to my own quarters to pick up a change of clothes."

"No need.  I had one of the house elves bring a change of clothes from your rooms earlier this morning" he said directing her attention to a small stack of clothing that rested on top of the mahogany bureau.  "They also made sure that overgrown rug you call a cat was fed and watered." 

Pleased by his thoughtfulness, she flashed him a brilliant smile and collected the clothing.  "Thank you, from both Crookshanks and myself," she said before disappearing into the bathroom.

Donning his bathrobe, Severus walked into the sitting room and used the internal floo network to contact the kitchen and place their breakfast order.       

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was early evening by the time they had completed their inventory of Snape's considerable store of various potion ingredients.  The supply cabinets were still fairly well stocked as a result of the previous order that the potions master had placed during the Christmas holidays.  

"Okay, it looks like we're running low on dragon's blood, unicorn tears, wormwood, beetles eyes, salamander livers, powdered centaur hooves, fairy teeth, powdered horn of bicorn, knotgrass, lacewing flies, shredded skin of boomslang, and bezoar" Hermione said running over the list of ingredients in her hand.  "Severus? The last half of this list looks like a polyjuice potion.  Except for the bezoar of course."

"Hmm?" Snape asked distractedly as he finalized some notes he was adding to their research.  "Oh, the seventh years will be starting on the Polyjuice potion on Monday.  Do you mind picking up the extra ingredients?"

"No, of course not" she said adding gillyweed and essence of newt to the list.  "What about the bezoar? Surely we won't need that for the reptilian cocktail? "

"_That _is nothing more than a precaution," he said laying his quill down on the desk.

"What type of precaution?  
  


"In the event that one of those doddering dunderheads decides to inadvertently turn their potion into some type of poison" he scoffed.  

"Severus! They can't all be that bad," Hermione admonished him while hiding the small smile that threatened to break out across her face.

"Perhaps there are one or two pupils in the class that show some small measure of intelligence however the rest of the lot is most certainly a write-off.  Especially the Gryffindors" he drawled and waited for his companion's reaction.  As expected, he didn't have to wait long.  

"And just what exactly are you implying?  That Gryffindor's are naturally hopeless in the field of potions?  I'll remind you that I hold certification in that field myself and just because we lay claim to a Neville Longbottom every now and then does not give you cause to write us all off" she all but shouted, the fury evident in the sparks that her cinnamon brown eyes were practically shooting his way.

"Nice of you to finally concede on Longbottom," he replied sarcastically in response to her outburst.  "As for the rest of your house, I seem to remember something about a second-year know-it-all Gryffindor that turned herself into a feline.  Speaking of which, I modified the wards on my private supply cabinet so that they would automatically admit access to you.  I figured it might be easier than watching you attempt to sneak around in an effort to obtain whatever supplies you might need."

Hermione had opened her mouth to make a comment in answer to his jibe about Neville when his other comments seeped into her consciousness.  'Felines? Second year? Sneaking around private stores? Oh! He can't possibly know about that can he?' she thought to herself in a combination of horror and humiliation.  Her disastrous encounter with the polyjuice potion during her second year had left her with some very bad memories and even the knowledge that she had actually made the horrendously complicated potion correctly did little to relieve her distress at the events that played out. Looking at the potions master with a look of wariness on her face she asked, "You knew about the polyjuice potion?"

"Of course," he answered and the beginnings of a devilish smile could be seen spreading across his face.  "Although, I admit that I didn't know that you were attempting to brew such a difficult potion until after your ah… unexpected transformation."

"Why didn't you say anything?" she asked in confusion.  "You had to know where I got the boomslang from?  You could have had me expelled on the grounds that I stole from a teacher!"

"True enough," he admitted quietly.  "Although, I think that spending several weeks with a face full of fur and pointed ears were punishment enough.  Not to mention that tail…"

"Oh!" she shuddered at the memory and placed her hands over her face to hide the flush of embarrassment that had risen in her cheeks.

Taking her hands in his own, he allowed a small smile to grace his features as he looked at the petite woman standing before him.  "Hermione, I knew at that point that you would have to be watched closely and trained properly.  If I had pushed to have you expelled then you would have taken with you a small handful of knowledge and tried to apply it to things that were beyond you at the time.  I had never heard of a twelve year old successfully brewing something as complicated as the polyjuice potion until that time.  And you were successful otherwise your transformation into a feline would not have been as complete as it was.  You were playing with things beyond your years and though the potential for success was definitely there, it was balanced by the potential for disaster."

"A little knowledge can be a dangerous thing?" she clarified.

"Exactly although in that particular instance you were fortunate.  After all, the effects weren't permanent." 

"No, just humiliating.  I didn't know that Millicent Bullstrode owned a familiar.  I assumed the hair I had taken from her robe belonged to her.  Needless to say, I was unpleasantly surprised to find that it belonged to her cat instead," she said softly. 

"I figured that it was something like that," Snape admitted.  "But why would you want to change yourself into Millicent Bullstrode in the first place?"

"To get to Malfoy.  We figured that he knew something about the petrifications that were taking place throughout the school.  Harry, Ron and I thought that if we changed ourselves into some of Malfoy's friends that we could get close enough to him to tell us what he knew," she said and shrank back a bit from the stern look that was focused at her from the man in front of her.

"The plan had merit but certainly you knew that it was risky?  What if Draco had found out and went to his father with that information?" he questioned.

"Of course we knew that it was a risk but we felt it was worth it and we truly believed that he knew what was going on.  Especially since he kept saying all those things about the heir returning to Hogwarts.  Anyway, Harry and Ron managed to transform themselves into Crabbe and Goyle and engage Draco in conversation.  Only, in the end, we found out that he really didn't know anything because his father wouldn't talk to him about what was going on at the school.  To make a long story short, the only thing we discovered was that we could scratch Malfoy off of our list of suspects."  

"The Dream Team strikes again," Severus muttered and ran a hand through his hair.  "I was pleased to notice that you did not repeat your mistake during the polyjuice lesson in your seventh year.  Although, if I remember correctly, you did seem to be a little ill at ease when it came time to actually test the finished product."

"I was absolutely terrified," she told him as a small shudder ran through her body.  "I was relatively certain that I had brewed the potion correctly but then I was certain that I had done so the first time and look what happened. I never thought I would be so happy to look in the mirror and see that I had successfully transformed myself into Lavender Brown."

"Yes, it was rather disconcerting watching the two of you after the transformation.  Both of you displayed your normal behavioral tendencies and it was odd to see the face of Miss Brown thoroughly engrossed in a textbook while your own image was giggling and flipping through some teenage magazine" he mused.    

"No doubt," she agreed.  "Are we finished here?"

"Yes, I just need to lock our research up and then we can go to dinner," he replied as he locked the research up and replaced the wards on the supply cabinets.  "Are you ready to face the gossips again, Professor Granger?"

"Why not?" she asked smiling.  "After all, lunch was actually quite amusing.  You could tell they were all dying to ask questions but no one seemed to know how to approach the subject.  Of course, I'm sure the fact that you were sitting there glaring at everyone didn't help."

"Hermione, I go to great lengths to stay out of the other professor's personal lives.  Why is it too much to expect that they do the same?" he asked, his voice carrying more than a hint of disdain.

"Because it's human nature to gossip Severus.  Besides, they're our friends and that means they're on our side," she told him, trying to match his long stride as they made their way to the Great Hall. 

"Are you sure about that?" he grumbled as they arrived at the entrance to the Hall and made their way to their respective seats.  Her only answer was a rolling of her eyes before she flashed a smile at the other professors who were already present and took her seat at the head table.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione awoke the next morning in her own bed to the warmth of sunlight streaming through the oversized window and the sound of Crookshanks meowing at her to wake up and let him out for his customary morning walk.  The cat had missed his walk the day before as a result of his mistress' absence and he was determined to see that it didn't happen again.

"Alright Crooks," she told the soft ball of orange fur when he began insistently butting his head against her own.  "I get the point.  Give me a minute will you? Geesh, I'm gone for one morning and you'd think that I went on holiday for a month.  What will you do if I spend the night in the dungeons again, huh?"

Her only response was an irritated look from the kneazle as he jumped off the bed and sauntered toward the door to her apartment and awaited his impending freedom.  

"Here you go your highness," she told the cat and stood aside to allow him to exit the room.  It was then that she noticed the small envelope resting in the hallway beside her door.  "What's this?" she mused as she bent over to retrieve the letter.  Stepping aside, she closed the door and walked back to the bedroom.  Taking a seat she turned the envelope over in her hands examining it for any clues as to the identity of the sender.  Finding none, she carefully broke the wax seal and pulled out a piece of parchment.  

_My Dear Professor Granger,_

I understand that you have recently displayed aspirations to rise beyond your social status.  While I would normally find this a commendable trait in most, and expect little else from women in general, I strongly urge you to consider your own heritage and the limitations that such a heritage has imposed upon you. It has come to my attention that you have been seen numerous times in the company of Severus Snape and while I understand your desire to attain a suitor of a higher standard than yourself, I would take it upon myself to inform you that even if such a thing were possible, which it is not, that this particular man is considered to be a traitor and an outcast by many.  His recent actions have placed blight on pureblooded wizarding families everywhere and such actions will not be left unpunished.  You would be wise to back away from any attachments which you have either already made or are in the process of making before you find yourself in the same dubious position. 

_Sincerely,_

_A Concerned Friend_

 "Oh of all the nerve!" she exclaimed to the empty room and reread the letter.  'A concerned friend my arse.  He might as well have come right out and signed the letter himself' she thought instinctively knowing that the letter came from none other than Lucius Malfoy.  'Why that pompous, arrogant flobberworm.  Where does he get off saying those things about Severus?  As if he's any better!'

Tossing the parchment on the bed she walked over to the wardrobe and begin searching for something suitable to wear on her trip to Hogsmeade.  She knew that Minerva would be wearing her usual witches robes but she just didn't feel like donning the heavier materials of her winter robes.  Instead she pulled out a pair of dark denim jeans and a woolen turtleneck sweater that was a deep brown in color.  It was made from the softest of yarns and had always been one of her favorites.  Brushing her hair and leaving it loose, she pulled on her boots and made her way to the Great Hall for a bite of breakfast before she and Minerva set out on their trip to Hogsmeade.  

Sunday mornings were very casual at Hogwarts.  As a result of the lack of classes, students were allowed to attend breakfast at their leisure throughout the morning.  The same rule held true for the professors and Hermione found herself sitting at the table with Professor Vector and Professor McGonagall for company.  

"Are you ready for our little trip today?" the transfigurations teacher inquired in her Scottish brawl.  

"Oh yes," the young witch replied, genuinely happy to be getting out of the castle for a little while.  'Even if it is under supervision' she thought sourly to herself.

"I need to stop by the bookstore and find a birthday present for my younger sister," the older witch told her.  "She's such a bookworm but sometimes her taste in literature leaves something to be desired. She likes those trashy romances," Minerva quietly confided.

"Oh" Hermione replied, momentarily at a loss for words.  "Well, sometimes a little light reading can help clear the mind."

"Or cloud it considering the stories she reads," the older woman sniffed.  "Although I must admit to sneaking off and reading the occasional romance myself every now and then.  What about you?"

"Well, I'm more of a muggle mystery lover myself," Hermione told her slightly uncomfortable at the image of her older friend sneaking off somewhere quiet to devour a steamy romance book.  'Too much information,' she thought to herself. 

"Hmm…" the woman looked at her momentarily.  "I'm not surprised.  Severus mentioned that you needed to drop by the apothecary to pick up some supplies?"

"Oh yes, I'll pick them out and have them sent directly to Hogwarts.  It shouldn't take too long. As a matter of fact, let me run down to the dungeons and pick up my supply list before we go" Hermione said rising from her chair.  "I'll meet you back here shortly."

"Of course dear," Minerva said with a smug smile on her face.  "Say hello to Severus for me."

Exiting the Great Hall, Hermione stopped by her rooms first to pick up her cloak and then made her way down to the dungeons.  Entering the potions classroom, she smiled as she saw the potions master seated at his desk marking essays turned in by one of his fourth year classes.  "They're all dunderheads," he said by way of greeting as he made several more slashes across the parchment in red ink and marked a "D" on one of the Hufflepuff's papers. "Every last one of them."

"I see that someone's in a good mood this morning," she said lightly as she walked over and dropped a kiss on his cheek.  Just as she was about to make her way to the other side of his desk, his hand shot out and grabbed her arm pulling her close.  Standing up, he gently lowered his mouth to her own and thoroughly explored her lips in a searing kiss.  Drawing back he looked into her eyes, which had darkened slightly at the intimate contact.  "Did you sleep well?"

"As well as can be expected considering that my bedtime companion was a disgruntled cat rather than a certain professor," she answered saucily, gently running her fingers through his hair.  

"Lucky cat," he mumbled.  "You do realize that had you spent the evening with me that you would have managed to obtain very little sleep.  Something that I am sure you needed considering your day long trip to Hogsmeade with Minerva."

"I suppose. She says 'hello' by the way.  I thought I'd drop in and say goodbye before we leave in a few minutes.  Was there anything else you wanted while I'm in town?"  

"No.  The supplies for our project and the polyjuice will be sufficient.  Just make certain that you stay close to Minerva while you are outside the perimeter of Hogwarts" he told the young woman clasped within his arms.  "I do not trust Lucius and I wouldn't put it past him to attempt to make good on some of his threats."

Her eyes clouded over momentarily at the mention of the older Malfoy's name.  She remembered the letter she had received and silently agreed with Snape that Lucius might yet indeed pose a threat should the inclination strike.  

Snape mistook her hesitation for her usual stubborn streak and sighed impatiently.  "Hermione, promise me that you will take no unnecessary risks."

"I promise," she dutifully repeated and nearly drew back from the intensity of his gaze. 

"And you will stay close to Minerva?" he continued. 

"Yes, Severus.  I will be a good little Gryffindor and stay next to my chaperone.  Happy?" she asked as she pushed the thoughts of the mystery letter and Lucius Malfoy temporarily from her mind.

"I will be happier when you are back at Hogwarts safe and sound," he said giving her one final kiss and walking her to the door.  "Now, off with you before that former head of house of yours comes down here screaming like some banshee and accusing me of getting her day off to a late start or some other such nonsense."

Grinning, she gave a quick wave goodbye and made her way back upstairs to meet Professor McGonagall. 

Severus watched Hermione leave until she rounded the corner at the end of the hallway and then returned to his desk to continue marking essays.  After adding a few more dashes of color to one particularly droll paper, he set his quill down and stared at the door that the young woman had recently exited through.  Something was off.  He could feel it.  Hermione had been her usual self but there was an underlying hint of… worry?  Of course she had assured him that everything was fine but Severus knew that was merely the girl's nature.  'Stubborn Gryffindors' he muttered to himself remembering a few of the many times throughout her years at Hogwarts where remaining silent had led the Magnificent Trio into serious trouble.  Taking a deep breath, he admitted to himself yet again that he did indeed have feelings for the young woman and he was certain those feelings ran very deep even if he wasn't ready to openly acknowledge that fact.  He found himself waking up and working through his days of confinement as a result of her continued presence and support.  He looked forward to her intellectual insights, her sense of humor and her teasing bantering in a way that he had looked forward to little else in his life.  She had become his reason for existing, his primary focus and somehow Snape knew that if something were to happen to her that he would be hard pressed to continue, especially if he were the cause of such an event.  Sighing, he retrieved the quill and returned his attention to the essays in front of him. 'They'll be careful,' he thought to himself. 'Minerva is a mother hen.  She'll keep an eye on her.' 

"Then why can't I dispel this feeling that something horrible is about to happen?" he wondered as he sat there with his head bowed and listened as the sound of his own voice echoed back to him from the stone walls of the empty dungeon classroom.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione was thoroughly enjoying her venture into the nearby town and it wasn't long before the two women had completed their trip to the Apothecary and left instructions with the friendly shopkeeper that all of the newly purchased supplies were to be delivered directly to Hogwarts.  

"Let's go have some lunch," Minerva suggested after they had visited several other stores in town including the Weasley brothers joke shop.  "I consider this research," the transfigurations teacher had told Hermione when she saw the look of surprise on the young woman's face.  "It always pays to know what pranks the students may play on their fellow students and teachers beforehand."

Hermione had laughingly agreed that it was indeed a good idea to know what current tricks Fred and George Weasley were promoting and even purchased a few of the jokes from their newest line before leaving the store. 

"So," the transfigurations professor began after they were seated in a room towards the back of The Three Broomsticks, "how are you and Severus really getting along?"

"Well, we're getting along just fine I suppose," Hermione began unwilling to divulge every detail of their newly forming relationship.  "I mean, our research is going well and we seem to be able to conduct ourselves appropriately despite the difference in house ideologies."

"That's all fine and well but it isn't what I'm asking and you know it young lady," McGonagall declared fixing the young woman with a stern stare that reminded her of the time that she, Harry and Ron had been caught at Hagrid's after hours during their first year.  

"I know," Hermione relented with a small sigh.  "It's just that everything is so new that I don't want to say something that might jinx it before we even have a chance to explore our feelings for one another.  He's a complicated man to understand and the things that usually work with most men don't seem to go over well with him, you know?"

"I know dear," the older woman said kindly as she reached over and patted her former student's hand in a show of emotional support.  "I've known Severus ever since he was a student himself.  He was always quiet and withdrawn and always careful to stand far enough away from the main rush of things as to remain a bit of mystery.  However, he also has his own sense of honor and when he says that he'll do something then you can rest assured that he will follow through with it one way or another.  He feels things very deeply although he would deny it with his dying breath.  Take your time and get to know the man inside and don't let yourself be guided by the rumors or even some of his more unsavory actions from his past.  He's a good man and he deserves to be happy as do you my dear.  I think that together the two of you may be able to find the happiness that you haven't been able to find on your own."

"Thank you Minerva," Hermione said quietly, thankful for the older woman's friendship and words of advice.  "I hope that you're right."

"Of course I am," she replied primly and steered the conversation toward some of the pranks that had been played by a few of the Gryffindors and Slytherins over the past few weeks.  The two women continued to chat amicably about a variety of things until they had finished with their lunches and paid their tab.  "Let's go to Flourish and Blotts, I need to find that gift for my sister and I heard they recently received a new book on Gravin's latest theories of advanced transfigurations."

Hermione happily agreed and it wasn't long before she found herself contentedly strolling through the various shelves piled with books in the potions section.  It was a quiet section located in the back of the store well out of the main path of most of the more popular books and latest releases.  Remembering her promise to Severus and realizing that she could no longer see the professor she placed the book she had been browsing, _Potions in Place of the Modern Doctor: Fact or Fiction, _back on the shelf and turned to head back to the aisle where she had last seen her friend.  It wasn't until she had taken her first step that she realized a tall figure clad in elegantly tailored black robes blocked her path.  Preparing to mutter an apology and make an attempt to step around the figure she looked up and nearly recoiled in horror as she found herself staring directly into the steel cold eyes of none other than Lucius Malfoy. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Disclaimers:  Sixteen chapters and still the same.  They aren't mine (she says with a giant theatrical sigh).  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Sixteen 

Hermione momentarily froze as her mind made a feeble attempt to formulate a plan that would carry her away from the presence of the Death Eater and deliver her back into the safety of Professor McGonagall and ultimately, Hogwarts itself.  Try as she might though, no plan came to mind.  "He's too close for me to apparate back to Hogwarts and I couldn't run off and leave Minerva to face him alone either,' she thought to herself in despair.  'Minerva?  Maybe if I can buy myself enough time she'll come looking for me.  Surely he wouldn't be desperate enough to harm me in front of witnesses?'

It was the last thought she had as Lucius Malfoy decided to break the silence that had settled over them.  "Miss Granger," the blond-haired wizard all but purred, "what an unexpected surprise."

Deciding that angering the man before her would not be in her best interest, she bit off the sarcastic retort that immediately sprang to her mind and settled for the icy calmness of diplomacy.  "Why Mr. Malfoy, it is indeed a surprise and most unexpected as well.  However, if you wouldn't mind stepping aside I'll bid you good day as I was just on my way to meet up with my friend who is currently browsing a selection of titles on another aisle."

"Ah yes, you do seem to be acquiring a great many friends lately.  Or perhaps my information is incorrect?" he asked, the glint in his eyes leaving the young witch without doubt that the man before her was playing a very high-stake game of cat and mouse.  

'And it would seem that I get to play the part of the mouse in today's little chase,' she thought in disgust.  Determined not to allow the wizard the satisfaction of seeing her fear, Hermione raised her chin in a subtle gesture of defiance that did not go unnoticed by Lucius.  "I have indeed been fortunate enough to acquire a great many friends over the years Mr. Malfoy although I am uncertain as to the source of your information or why for that matter that these friendships would be of concern to a man such as yourself."

"A man such as myself?" he questioned, dropping his voice to a dangerous level of barely suppressed anger.  Taking a quick glance around to assure himself that they were still alone, he suddenly reached out with the speed of a viper and grabbed a handful of Hermione's chestnut locks pulling her so close that she could feel the heat radiating from his body. Tilting her head back he used his other hand to slowly trace the outline of her facial features with the ebony handle of the elegant cane he carried and smiled when he recognized the brief glimpse of fear that shone in her cinnamon brown eyes.  

"You would be wise not to anger such a man as myself little mudblood," he hissed and his own face suddenly became a mask of venom and pure hatred.  "Because it would be a shame if something… unforeseen, were to happen to you as it happened to my son not so long ago. It is always such a loss to the wizarding world when one so young is forever lost to us.  Wouldn't you agree Miss Granger?"

"I agree that Draco's death was a tragic event Mr. Malfoy," she replied tiring of their game and wincing as he tightened his hold on her hair at the mention of his son's name.  "Although, perhaps it was more of a loss for others than it was for you" she taunted, forgetting her earlier resolve not to anger the man as a result of the harsh physical treatment she was currently enduring. 

"Why you little…" his sentence was abruptly cut off by the sound of Minerva McGonagall's voice calling for Hermione from a nearby aisle.  "It seems that we will have to end our conversation a little sooner than anticipated.  Be sure to tell Severus of our meeting today for I am certain he will consider it to be a friendly warning of what is to come.  I am also certain he would agree that it would truly be a shame if our next meeting were not nearly as pleasant.  After all, one can never predict when an accident might occur."  Giving the young woman one final look of loathing, he roughly yanked at her hair while simultaneously pushing her away from his body with such a force that Hermione could feel several of the chestnut strands pull painfully away from her scalp as a result.  Turning his back on her, he strode out of the secluded section of the store brushing roughly by a very surprised transfigurations professor in the process.  

"Hermione," the older woman called as she rushed over to help the young woman regain her balance.  "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine" the younger Gryffindor hastily replied in an effort to reassure her friend. "Mr. Malfoy was just saying hello."

"Umm hmm…" the transfigurations teacher looked at her reproachfully.  "And I'm a best friend of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.  What did Mr. Malfoy really want?"

"Nothing in particular.  He issued a few veiled threats and the usual derogatory comments but he didn't really say anything specific.  Except that he wanted me to be sure and tell Severus that we ran into one another," she said as they made their way out of the bookstore and headed toward a nearby location to apparate back to the front gates of Hogwarts.  

"It sounds as if he intends to use you to unsettle Severus," Minerva said after listening to the highlights of the conversation.  

"I agree" Hermione answered nervously biting her lower lip.  "Which is why I've decided not to tell him about any of this."

"Not tell him?" her companion gasped in astonishment.  "But dear, Mr. Malfoy has made threats against you and both Severus and Albus have already expressed their concern that he might follow through on some of them.  You must tell them!"

Hermione looked at her former professor and saw the worry etched on her face.  She too was worried because of Lucius' reputation for obtaining what he wanted regardless of the cost and right now the young woman knew that the older Malfoy was clearly bent on revenge against his former friend and colleague.  She had no doubts that Lucius would use her relationship with the potions master to whatever advantage he could if it meant achieving that goal.

"Minerva, what purpose would it serve to tell Severus of this other than to worry him?  There is nothing that can be done for the situation that has not already been done.  I'm virtually a prisoner at Hogwart's as it is.  Aside from putting me under lock and key and posting a few Aurors outside the door, what else can be done?  Besides, we still have our work to complete and Severus has enough to concentrate on without the added pressure of Lucius Malfoy.  No, we will not tell him of this as no harm has come of it," the young witch finished with a tone that spoke of finality.  

"I still don't agree but maybe you know best in this situation given your current relationship with Severus.  However, you have to promise me that you will at least agree to tell Albus about what happened today," professor McGonagall said in a stern tone of voice.

"Minerva…" Hermione began, ready to refute the woman's suggestion that Dumbledore be told of the details regarding her impromptu meeting with Lucius.

"No, Hermione. Either you agree to tell the Headmaster about what happened today or I will tell them both," McGonagall stated and waited impatiently while the younger Gryffindor stubbornly mulled over the ultimatum.  

"Fine," she agreed crossing her arms in front of her in a gesture that reminded the transfigurations mistress of a petulant child.  "I'll talk to Albus but I still don't think that it's really necessary."

"Necessary or not dear, it's for the best.  Now, let's get you back to Hogwart's before everyone begins to worry where we've wandered off to" the elderly professor told her kindly.  

And within mere seconds both witches had disapparted to the safety of the castle.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

If Hermione had entertained the hope that her friend and mentor would forget about the incident with Lucius Malfoy once they had returned to Hogwarts then she was in for a very big disappointment. No sooner had the women reached the entrance to the castle than Minerva fixed the younger woman with a meaningful stare and steered her toward the Headmaster's office.  After uttering the password "candied red hots" to gain entrance to the winding stairwell, they found themselves in the timeless comfort of Albus Dumbledore's office.  A moment later, the old wizard had joined them and at the deputy headmistress' urging, Hermione found herself recounting the events of the afternoon.

"This is most troubling indeed," Dumbledore said quietly as he chose a scone from the tray of snacks that now sat before them.  "And Mr. Malfoy specifically said that he wanted you to inform Severus of the encounter?"

"Yes sir," the charms professor answered quietly.  "Although I really don't think that it would be a good idea to do so.  At least not right now."

"May I ask why not?" the headmaster asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Well, he's had a lot to deal with lately and this might serve to distract him from concentrating on what's really important.  I mean, he does tend to be a bit overprotective at times" she finished looking down at her hands nervously. 

"Ah yes, I assume that you are speaking of the potion when you refer to 'what's really important'" the older wizard said with a kindly smile.  "Did it never occur to you child, that perhaps Severus may seem a little too protective at times because he considers you to be equally as important?"

"No, defeating Voldemort is his primary concern. It has to be. He's worked so hard for so long toward that end and I don't intend to let Lucius Malfoy use me as a pawn to distract him from that," Hermione adamantly replied and her chin raised a fraction in an unconscious gesture of defiance.

"Yes, it is true that Severus has worked tirelessly and at much personal sacrifice to assist the Order in reaching its' goal to defeat Voldemort once and for all" Dumbledore agreed gravely.  "However, it is unfair to him to assume that he does not know his own mind.  I have known our potions master for a very long time my dear and I have learned that he is a very complex individual. The harder you try to steer him in a particular direction, even if it is for his own good, the more he will resist and draw into himself."

Hermione looked up at the older wizard and the sheen of tears could be seen in her eyes.  "I don't want to push him away Albus but at the same time I can't just sit by and allow Lucius to use his feelings for me against him."

"It is a difficult situation." Albus agreed patting the young woman's hand in a fatherly gesture of comfort.  "I will stand by your decision for now my dear as I realize that your actions are brought about by your concern for Severus' well-being.  However, you may want to consider telling him soon about the events that transpired this afternoon between Mr. Malfoy and yourself before he learns of it from another source for I fear that would only lead to further complications."

"He would be angry with me for keeping silent," Hermione agreed.

"Yes but more importantly, I fear that he would misinterpret your silence as a lack of trust in him rather than a concern for his well-being and that reaction would be much more difficult to overcome then his initial anger" the headmaster answered and gazed intently at her in an attempt to assure himself that the young woman seated before him understood the implications of the words he had just spoken.   

Catching her bottom lip between her teeth in a gesture that betrayed her unease, Hermione placed her teacup back on the serving platter and stood up to exit the office.  "I'll think about what you have said headmaster."  Offering a timid smile, she bid goodbye to the wizard and the transfigurations professor who had remained silent throughout the conversation. 

Once the young woman had exited the office, Minerva McGonagall looked to the man who sat in front of her quietly contemplating his cup of tea.  "Do you think she'll tell him about what happened today Albus?"

"I think so," the man answered with a sad smile.  "It is difficult for both of them as they hide the extent of their feelings from not only themselves but from one another as well leaving their actions open to misinterpretations.  My only concern is that she talks to Severus before someone else does."

"But who else would tell him Albus?" the witch asked in confusion.  "The only person that knows what happened today other than you and me is Hermione."

"Ah Minerva, you are forgetting that there is one other," Dumbledore replied shaking his head tiredly.

"Lucius Malfoy," she stated her eyes widening slightly at the thought of the man.   

"Exactly," the headmaster answered quietly.  "Which reminds me, I must see Severus this evening and make certain that he has disconnected his rooms from the external floo network.  It would be a shame if Mr. Malfoy were to contact him for another chat."

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The evening found Hermione walking nervously to the dungeons in search of the potions master who had been absent at dinner.  'What if someone told him about Lucius?' she thought to herself.  'Would that have made him angry enough to miss dinner?' she wondered.  Shaking her head abruptly in an effort to rid herself of the unwelcome chain of thoughts her mind had embarked on, she determinedly completed her journey to the lab.  

"Hermione?" Snape questioned in concern as he saw her enter the lab with a worried expression.  "Is everything alright?"

"What?  Oh yes, everything is fine," she assured him.  "I guess I should be asking you the same question as you weren't at dinner."

"I thought that I would get a head start and sort the supplies that you picked up this afternoon," he told her pointing to a worktable filled with assorted vials and jars.  Some of the vials were waiting to be filled while others now contained various supplies all neatly labeled in the potion master's familiar script.  "Did you enjoy your afternoon with Minerva?"

"Umm, yes.  It was fine.  I looked over a few of the newer texts in the potions section but didn't really find anything that might help us with our research," she replied and unconsciously reverted back to her familiar habit of biting her lower lip as she quietly studied the various supplies displayed on the table in front of her.

Snape narrowed his eyes and looked at the young woman who now had her back to him.  He had noticed how her body seemed to tense when he inquired of her afternoon and the slight hesitancy in her answer.  'And Merlin knows that nine years of teaching and then working with her has certainly taught me that when she starts biting that lip that something is up' he thought to himself.  

"That's alright," he said aloud referring to her comment regarding the potions books.  "We have enough research so far to give us a decent base to begin with.  Did everything else go alright?"

"Hmm?  Oh yes, you know, the usual.  Shopping followed by lunch followed by more shopping" she replied absently as she peered into one of the simmering cauldrons that was emitting a hazy blue cloud of steam. 

"I see.  It's just that you seem a little… nervous," the professor said carefully watching her reaction to his softly spoken words.  "I thought that something might have happened.  Of course, I'm certain that you would tell me if it had, wouldn't you?"

Biting down on her lip to the point that she almost broke the tender skin, she inhaled sharply and looked at the man who was now standing next to her.  'He can't possibly know about Malfoy, can he?' she asked herself.  "Everything's fine Severus," she told him and flashed a smile as if to prove her assertions were true.  "I'm just tired."

"Perhaps you should get some rest then and we can begin the initial brewing process tomorrow evening," he suggested not failing to notice how she had evaded answering his question.

"But I thought that I might assist you in bottling and cataloguing the new supplies," she protested and moved to pick up the package of gillyweed.  

"As much as I appreciate the thought, I think you need to rest.  You have classes tomorrow and I'm certain the little dunderheads would be terribly shocked if their charms professor were to fall asleep at her desk," he firmly replied gently removing the package of gillyweed from her hands. 

"Maybe I could tell them it was some sort of a sleeping charm," she quipped with a genuine grin imagining the looks on the student's faces as they obediently sat in their desks waiting for the 'charm' to wear off.

"Perhaps," he agreed smiling.  "Now, off to bed with you. I have no doubt that monstrosity you call a cat is waiting impatiently for your return.  I'll see you tomorrow," he said dropping a light kiss on her forehead and steered her to the door.  

Giving him a final smile, Hermione left the lab and traversed the corridors that lead to her own rooms.  Had she taken a moment to look back she would have seen the potions master standing in the doorway, silently watching her retreating form and wondering exactly what it was that she wasn't telling him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The hour was late when Snape finally returned to his own rooms.  Thoughts of Hermione and the nagging conviction that she was keeping something from him had distracted him to the point of losing all track of time.  Replacing the wards after he had entered his quarters, he removed his cloak and poured himself a drink.  Sinking into the overstuffed chair, he leaned his head back and momentarily closed his eyes as his thoughts swirled around inside his head like a small twister.  'What is she hiding?' he asked himself for the umpteenth time.  'Has she decided that our relationship is a mistake?' he wondered but then pushed the thought away.  No, he was willing to bet that whatever had happened had taken place at some point during the day.  Besides, if she had been entertaining doubts about their relationship then she wouldn't have come down to the dungeons in the first place and she wouldn't have protested when he told her to leave and get some rest.  Something had happened in town, he was certain of it.  'But what?  I'll just have to ask Minerva in the morning' he told himself and decided to corner the transfigurations professor just after breakfast. 

Hearing a noise, Severus looked over to see the flames in the fireplace turn to a deep greenish color and with a loud 'pop' the pale face of Lucius Malfoy became visible.  

"Ah Severus, it's so good to see you again," the blond-haired wizard said in a falsely polite voice.  "It's been a while since we last spoke."

"Lucius," Snape bitingly acknowledged the man's presence.  "One might have hoped that it would be a while longer until we spoke again.  Quite a while longer in fact."

"Now Severus, don't be like that," Malfoy admonished lightly as if he were scolding a stubborn child. "After all, I simply wanted to tell you what a wonderful time I had today with your little mudblood."

The potions master's head jerked up at Lucius' words.  "What are you talking about Lucius?" he drawled in a bored tone of voice determined not to let the other man have the satisfaction of realizing the extent of the havoc the venomous words were having on him.

"Oh come now Severus, surely she told you about our little rendezvous this afternoon?  No?  Well, not to worry, she is quite the minx for someone of her type though and strong for a woman of her petite stature. You know, for a moment or two, I almost understood what you see in her.  Just for a moment of course," the Death Eater gloated.  "She is quite pretty for a mudblood whore but in the end I guess she's really not all that different from the rest of them."

Snape was beginning to find that it was becoming increasingly difficult to control the urge to apparate to Malfoy Manor and hex the grinning fiend in his fireplace straight to oblivion.  'Which is probably what he's hoping for,' an inner voice said intruding into the potions master's thoughts.  'He's trying to goad you into getting so angry that you'll leave the castle and walk right into his trap.'   Severus had to admit the logic of that thought.  It was certainly the Malfoy way of doing things.  Find a weakness, exploit that weakness and defeat your enemy.  It was a scenario that Lucius had used to his advantage many times throughout the years.  Somehow, Snape wasn't happy to be on the receiving end of it.  He only hoped that if Malfoy were telling the truth about meeting with Hermione that afternoon that he hadn't had the opportunity to do any lasting damage to her because if he had…  Well, he didn't have the luxury of time just now to finish that thought but he took great comfort in knowing that it would be the last thing that Lucius Malfoy ever did. 

"Is there a point to all of this Lucius or are you so bored that you thought you'd try to stir up a little trouble? Because if that's the case then it's quite pathetic," Severus sneered pretending to stifle a yawn.

"I'm not the one that needs to be concerned about trouble Severus," the man said throwing off all pretense of congeniality.  "I warned you that accidents might happen and while your little mudblood whore may be attractive she's certainly not indispensable.  Consider this a friendly reminder that I'm not only keeping an eye on you but also on anyone that you have ties to.  Although, I must admit that I'm surprised she didn't mention our little meeting to you especially since I gave her specific instructions to do so.  I guess she'll have to be punished for her… disobedience the next time I see her." The blond haired man let loose an evil chuckle and disappeared from the fireplace with another loud 'pop'.

Leaning forward, Severus rested his head in his hands.  He had to assume that Lucius did have some type of encounter with Hermione earlier that afternoon.  The older Malfoy would have known that his story was too easily checked out.  The question that worried him most was what type of encounter was it?  Malfoy had hinted that it was something more than just a quick passing and Snape knew that most of the wizard's 'encounters' with women were usually of a sexual nature.  'But when would he have had time and where was Minerva?' he asked himself.  'Surely, Hermione would have mentioned something?' he wondered in desperation and then thought back to her behavior in the dungeons earlier that evening. She had been nervous and she had avoided his questions. 'Why wouldn't she tell me?'  That one question continued to plague him until he couldn't take it any more.  Standing up, he muttered a curse and hurled the liquor glass into the fireplace.  Not even the sound of the glass shattering into hundreds of tiny shards did anything to help relieve his frustration.  Grabbing his robe he exited his chambers and determinedly made his way through the hallways toward her rooms, too angry to even stop and take the time to deduct house points from several students that were out after curfew.   Seeing the scowl on the potions master's face was enough warning to send them scurrying back to their dormitories as he continued to blaze a path through the corridors until he came to Hermione's chambers.  Taking a deep breath he raised his fist and pounded loudly on her door.

Hermione had been sound asleep when the angry man had first pounded his fist on her door to gain entrance.  The third round of pummeling had her scurrying for her robe and sleepily stumbling toward the door.  'Who on earth could that be at this time of night?' she wondered and then sent out a silent prayer of thanks that her rooms were isolated from the students and other teachers.  

"Alright already, I'm coming," she said angrily as she opened the door and gasped at the sight that greeted her.  Standing in front of her with the most dangerous expression she had ever seen was none other than Severus Snape. 

'Oh Merlin,' she whispered to herself as she stared silently into the angry depths of those black eyes. 'He knows.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 TBC


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Seventeen 

Taking a deep breath in resignation at the scene she knew was soon to come, Hermione stepped aside and wordlessly ushered him into the room.  Closing the door, she crossed the room and took a seat on the couch gulping nervously when Snape declined her offer to sit and chose to stand directly across from her instead.  Crossing his arms over his chest he stared silently at her until she thought she would scream from the tension that engulfed the room.  Expressions of rage and betrayal alternately crossed his face.  

"You know about Lucius," she stated flatly, breaking the blanket of ice that had settled over them.

"Yes," he merely replied arching one eyebrow in an expression that intimated she was to continue. 

'I guess it was too much to hope that he might try to make things a little easier,' she thought to herself upon hearing his clipped answer.  "I was going to tell you…" she began and broke off momentarily as that same eyebrow raised further in an undisguised gesture of disbelief.  "Honestly.  Well, not at first but then Minerva made me talk to Albus about everything and well… I just wasn't ready yet."

"Not ready yet?" he repeated with barely suppressed fury.  "Tell me Hermione, when do you think you would have been ready to tell me?  For that matter, why was telling me about Lucius a problem at all?"

'Why was it a problem?' a little voice in the back of Hermione's mind questioned.  Shaking her head in an attempt to rid herself of the unseen voice, she looked to the man standing ominously before her.  'Surely telling him would have been better than this?' claimed the stubborn presence hidden within her mind.  

"Well?" Snape prompted growing impatient at the silence that stretched before them.   

"It's just that, well… I was unsure of your reaction," she feebly explained, her face taking on an expression that was something of a mixture between confusion and fear.  "I didn't want you to be angry."

Severus once again raised his brow in a familiar gesture of disbelief.  "And tell me Hermione," he began as he closed the gap between them to stand directly in front of her, "is my current reaction more to your liking?"

"No" she whispered as a tear slipped silently down her cheek.  "I'm sorry Severus.  I should have told you about Lucius earlier this evening.  I mean I thought about it but I just didn't quite know how to tell you without…"

Severus would never know in the days and weeks to follow whether it was the tear streaking down her face or the softly whispered apology that caused his anger to evaporate.  The only thing he could be certain of at that point was that the feelings he now faced were those of confusion and concern for the young woman who sat before him.  Sighing, he knelt down to take both of her hands in one of his own as his other hand gently pushed back the wisps of hair that had fallen forward and now obscured her face from his view.  "Just talk to me Hermione.  Tell me what happened."

Something in the calmly spoken words broke through the barrier of fear the young Gryffindor had unintentionally created for herself.  Looking into his eyes she saw the concern and confusion that swam within the black orbs and matter-of-factly recounted the events of her meeting with Lucius.  

Severus sat quietly reviewing her words while trying to counter the renewed urge to apparate to Malfoy Manor and deal with the Lucius once and for all.  Knowing that such a thing wasn't possible he decided to clarify a few of the details within Hermione's story.  "So… he made a few threats and wanted to ensure that you brought the news back to me?" he asked and watched as she quickly bobbed her head up and down.  "Did he do anything else?  Did he hurt you?"    

"Not really," she replied and offered a small smile in an attempt to reassure the dark haired wizard gazing worriedly at her.  "He threw out a few insults and used a little bit of manhandling to accentuate his point every now and then but otherwise…"

"Manhandling?" Snape interrupted sharply.  "What type of 'manhandling' are you referring to?" he asked knowing exactly what Lucius Malfoy was capable of. 

"Nothing much really," she answered quickly seeing the spark of anger ignite within him once again.  "He grabbed me, jarred me about a bit and pushed me before he left but it wasn't too bad," she said as her hand unconsciously began rubbing her forearm where Lucius had grabbed her and shoved her into the bookcase.

"And that's all?" the man in front of her asked skeptically.  

"Well yes.  I mean, what more could he have done really?  We were in the middle of a bookstore and I didn't think he would be able to do very much considering the potential for witnesses" she answered mentally recalling her fears that the death eater might decide to apparate them both out of the store.

"What more could he have done?" the potions master repeated incredulously.  "He could have 'done' quite a few things and no one would have been the wiser.  You are far too trusting my dear. A trait, which I can only hope, won't lead you straight to disaster one day."

"I'm sure you over exaggerate," she snapped softly shuddering at the implications of his words. 

"Let us hope for both of our sakes that you are correct," he answered gravely.  "You have explained the circumstances of your encounter with Lucius but you have not adequately explained why you were afraid to inform me of the encounter.  So, if you would be so kind as to do so now then perhaps we can dispatch the need to discuss this particular matter in the future."

Hermione's petite frame stiffened upon hearing his words.  A fact that did not go unnoticed by the potions master.  'You should have known that he wouldn't simply let the subject drop' the unwanted voice mocked her.  Brushing the voice aside, she took a deep breath and hunched her shoulders as if she was preparing to go into battle.  "I didn't want to tell you because I was worried that you might consider leaving Hogwarts to go after Malfoy or that you might decide that our relationship should come to an end."

"I admit that my first inclination was to deal with Lucius once and for all," he told the young witch.  "However, seeing that he would probably be expecting such a move… No, I will remain here.  For now."

"And our relationship?" she asked hesitantly.

"What of it?" he replied knowing all too well the point Hermione was driving at but wanting to hear her say it all the same. 

"Well, are we… will you… are you going to put an end to it in the hopes that Malfoy will back off?" she stammered and held her breath as she waited for his answer.

Severus thought about her words for a moment.  'Would Lucius forget about Hermione if he believed that their relationship was non-existent or would he continue making threats against her out of spite?'   Realizing that the young woman in question was waiting for an answer, he calmly replied "No.  I don't see how breaking off our relationship will help this situation.  Lucius has already decided that you are important to me and therefore will continue with his threats whether we are actually seeing one another or not.  However, as I said earlier, you are far too trusting and one day those threats may very well become a reality.  So, with that thought in mind, I insist that you stay here within the safety of Hogwarts."

"What?" she exclaimed sitting straight up in a gesture of surprise and agitation.  "There is no reason that I can't go out as long as I'm…"

"You tried that today and look what happened," Snape interrupted the anticipated tirade.  "I will not take 'no' for an answer Hermione.  You will stay where it is safe and that is final."

The young woman slumped forward in a gesture of defeat.  She knew that this would be one issue in which the potions master would not back down from.  He had been justified in his concern about her trip with Minerva. After all, look what had happened.  She had managed to stray away from the transfigurations professor and land straight into the arms of Lucius Malfoy.  It was that thought that made her manner seem more dejected than ever.  She had let them down.  She had let HIM down and underneath everything she knew that was the real reason she had wanted to keep the meeting with Lucius to herself. 

Snape watched the emotions flit across her facial features as she absorbed his words.  He also noticed the sense of defeat that emanated from her body language.  Narrowing his eyes in suspicion he asked, "Hermione, there is something more, isn't there?  Something you aren't telling me perhaps?"

"No, I mean, I told you everything about the meeting…" she began.

"Hermione!" he interrupted and the smooth baritone of his voice had taken on the same crispness he reserved for those students who had misbehaved or turned out incorrect potions in class. 

"Oh alright!" she exclaimed in exasperation knowing that he wouldn't give up until he had managed to drag every last detail out of her.  "In addition to all those other reasons, I didn't want to tell you about what happened today because I was afraid that you would go back to looking at me like I was still some silly schoolgirl back in one of your classes!"

Severus sat back stunned and wondered if he should start searching for the rogue bludger that had just come out of nowhere and hit him upside the head.   "Hermione love, what are you talking about?"

She looked up at him in confusion.  "It was my fault that I became separated from Minerva this afternoon in the bookstore" she stammered.  "I became so engrossed in looking at all of the books that I forgot to keep an eye on my surroundings.  I promised you that I would be careful and I messed up.  If Minerva hadn't come searching for me when she did, I don't know what Lucius would have done.   By the time I had realized that I was alone, it was too late.  So, one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you about what happened was because I was afraid that you would think I was still no better than I was when I was a child that used to sit in your classroom all those years ago."

'That's it!' Severus thought to himself.  'I am definitely mounting a search for that damnable bludger as it has struck yet again.'  Looking at Hermione, who now had a multitude of tears silently streaming down her cheeks, he tried to gain some sense of order over his thoughts.  "You mean to tell me that you were afraid that I would reject you on the grounds that I still see you as a child?" he asked incredulously.  

"Well, don't you?" she answered tentatively.  "I mean, I know that you must be disappointed in me for what happened…"

"Hermione," he said lifting her chin up so that he could look straight into her face.  "I am disappointed that we could so easily fail to protect you and I am relieved that you are alright but I have not thought of you as a child for a very long time.  Rest assured, today's events have not changed my opinion of you in the slightest."

"Really?" she asked hopefully with the first hint of a true smile since he had entered her rooms.  

"Really," he answered shaking his head with a tired smile of his own.  Sitting on the couch next to her, he decided that a change of topic would put them back on familiar ground.  Reaching over to wrap his arms around her waist he pulled her next to the curve of his own body.  "I do believe Professor Granger that earlier this evening you were telling me about some of the information you read in the potions texts at Flourish and Blotts?"

"Oh yes," the chestnut haired witch answered in relief as she began telling him of the different books she had come across at the shop.

Severus found himself truly relaxing for the first time since that morning as he sat back and listened to Hermione talk.  The evening had been a revelation to him in more ways then one.  Wrapped up in his own concerns and feelings of inadequacy he had never taken the time to think that the young woman resting against him might also find herself battling demons of insecurity and doubt.  Somehow that thought made her seem more human, more…real.  He laughed to himself thinking that even if he were fortunate enough to live to be Albus' age, he would still never understand the complexities that comprised the female gender.  To be more specific, he would never fully understand the woman sitting next to him happily chatting away.  

It was a thought that stayed with him as they talked long into the night and eventually ended up falling asleep against one another in front of the warmth of the fire.      

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next couple of weeks found the couple knee-deep in research in Snape's private lab.

"Oh! That's the fourth trial that has failed to produce any results," Hermione said looking at the small snake lying on the counter.  

"I don't know," Snape said looking at the snake "we managed to change the color from a deep green to a bright blue." He took a step back as Hermione turned around to glare at him and make a half-hearted attempt to lightly punch him in the arm.   "Great, we'll have the satisfaction of knowing that we managed to make Voldemort look like a walking blueberry. What a glorious testament to all of the hard work that we've put in on this project," she said sarcastically.

"Believe me," Snape said in a low voice, "the Dark Lord could use a few cosmetic changes.  Besides, we know that we're on the right track.  At least something is changing at the DNA level."

Picking the snake up and returning it to its' aquarium, Hermione sat down on the stool in front of her work area.  "I don't know Severus, it's all so frustrating and we have so little time left."

"Patience my dear," he told the disillusioned Gryffindor and planted a kiss on the nape of her neck, "we're much closer than we were before.  It's only a matter of time before we hit on the right combination of ingredients."

"Right," she muttered trying to be positive.  'And pigs will fly south for the winter next year' she thought to herself in frustration.  Of course, in the wizarding world she wouldn't put it past them to do exactly that.   "You realize that we still have to determine a method of delivery?"

"That should be one of the easier parts of our task," the potions master said absently as he made a few changes on his notes to the formula they had just tested. 

"How do you figure that?" Hermione asked in confusion.  "There are several different methods and each can be affected by the ingredients themselves."

"Well, Voldemort rarely eats what everyone else does so that leaves out the possibility of ingesting the potion.  Unless of course we can figure out where he is and sneak in when he's asleep and pour it down his throat without his knowledge."

"That is such a terrible plan," Hermione replied rolling her eyes at the expression of mock hurt that crossed his face.   

"Unfortunately, you're correct.  We could find a way to dose Lucius with the potion and have him unknowingly pass it along to Voldemort.  After all, we know that he has frequent contact with the Dark Lord" the potions master mused.

Hermione paused and looked at him with a thoughtful expression on her face.  "You mean infect him, like a virus?"

"Yes, only this virus would be non-lethal and non-symptomatic to humans.  Lucius would serve as a type of carrier and the 'virus' could either be transferred by air or by touch.  Malfoy would unknowingly carry the virus and then quietly transfer it to Voldemort.  No one would be the wiser until the symptoms manifested.  By then it would be too late" Snape replied, mentally sorting the logistics of such a plan.

"Not bad but we're nowhere near a solution for the potion yet.  Not to mention that we still have to find a way to incorporate the tracking spell," she reminded him scooping enough of the ineffective potion into a small vial for analysis before disposing the remainder of the batch and cleaning the cauldron.  

"I think that we should try to add some ashwinder eggs into the mixture on the next trial and see if that has an effect," he suggested.     

"Maybe," Hermione agreed "but something keeps bothering me about all of this.  I just can't seem to put my finger on what it might be though."

"Try talking it out with me, maybe it will jog your memory or at least give us a new avenue to investigate," he replied checking the seals on the ingredients they had used to make certain they were tight.  

"Well, I keep thinking back to my second year," she began with a small shudder.  "You remember, the Chamber of Secrets and the giant basilisk?"

"It's not like I would forget such an occurrence," he answered as he softly laid a hand on her shoulder in a gesture of comfort.  He still shuddered when he thought back to the blank expressions and the unmoving bodies of those students that had been petrified, Hermione included.  'Thank Merlin for the Mandrakes,' he thought silently.

"I keep remembering something that the boys said or maybe it was Hagrid," she frowned as she tried to pull the information out of the recesses of her mind.  

"What was it?" Severus prompted softly.

"Something about roosters disappearing around the time of the attacks..." she muttered.  "Or maybe it was chickens?"

Snape's eyes grew a little wider as he remembered back to the time that everyone had tried so desperately to forget.  "It was roosters and I'll be right back.  I just need to grab a book from my library," he said disappearing for a few moments and then returning with a thick, leather bound book that he sat on the counter and immediately began rifling through its' thick pages.

Unable to resist the lure of a new book, Hermione walked over to stand beside him.  "Ancient Magical Beasts and Monsters" she said reading the title imprinted in heavy gold leaf lettering on the side of the book.  "What exactly are you looking for Severus?  Does it have information on the basilisk?"

"Yes," he said partly in answer to her question and partly as an expression of triumph at finding the page he was looking for.  Quickly skimming the paragraphs he found a particular passage.  "This is it," he said grabbing her arm and pulling her close enough to him so that she could read the text alongside him.   "If a snake can have an Achilles' heel, the basilisk has two:  It cannot tolerate the scent of a weasel or the sound of a rooster crowing.  To slay a basilisk by weasel it is necessary to first lure the serpent into a weasel's den and then block the entrances and exits, whereupon the serpent will succumb to the weasely fumes.  Death by rooster is far easier as the mere sound of a cock crowing will cause the basilisk to go into convulsions and die.  Hmmm, death by Weasley, I should have known."

Glaring at him for his questionable sense of humor, Hermione pointed out in her usual logical fashion, "But Severus, Voldemort doesn't have basilisk in him so none of this will help us."

"True, but we still have the remains of the basilisk.  Perhaps if we incorporated some of its DNA into the formula along with essence of weasel, then it would alter Voldemort's DNA just enough to have an effect" he said and started marking notations on a piece of parchment. 

"I don't know," she said shaking her head.  "Even if we can work in the basilisk DNA, what's to stop the essence of weasel from counteracting that DNA only?"

"You're right.  Not to mention the fact that it would add months onto our research time," the potions master conceded snapping the book closed in frustration.  "Okay, the basic idea still holds true though but instead of targeting just one type of snake we need to find a characteristic that they all share."

Rubbing her temples, Hermione thought about his words.  'What is something that is detrimental to all snakes?' she repeatedly asked herself and became frustrated when she continued to draw a blank.  "It's too hot in here," she complained aloud as she stood up and pulled her sweater vest off over her head.  Seeing Snape's expression she stopped and gave him a questioning look.  "It's just a sweater Severus, it's not like I don't have anything on underneath," she said with a smile. 

"No," he said too distracted by the line of thought her previous words had triggered to reply to the innuendo she was tossing his way.  "Hermione, you may have figured it out," he told the witch who was staring at him in confusion.

"I may have figured what out Severus?  We already determined that the rooster and weasel remedies are specific to the basilisk only.  I fail to see where that helps us," she said in a tone balanced somewhere between confusion and frustration.  

"No, think Hermione.  Reptiles are cold-blooded animals. What's the one thing that they can't stand?" he asked and waited a minute for her to figure out the answer.

"Cold," she replied almost immediately and a smile broke across her face.  "Snakes can't stand excessive cold temperatures."

"That's right. Most snakes need to find alternate heat sources, as they can't regulate their core temperatures.  If their core body temperatures drop below a critical point without alternate heat sources they slow down and their immune systems become impaired.  Enzymes fail to function which can cause digestion to be incomplete or cease altogether," Snape pointed out.

"So if we can create a formula that drastically lowers the internal body temperature, it will naturally attack and break down the reptilian systems within his body and thereby cause human systems to fail as a result of their co-dependence upon one another," she said triumphantly.

"Yes, and I can think of several different ingredients that could be used to cause such a chemical reaction when introduced to a specific type of DNA" he stated.

"Ingredients that we can engineer to react exclusively with reptilian DNA," she clarified.

"Exactly," he answered feeling more hopeful of their chances of success for the project than he had since its' conception.  "Well Miss Granger, I think that we have a formula to recalculate tomorrow evening."

"Professor Snape, I couldn't agree more," she replied in a playful tone but stopped when she heard the sound of hurried footsteps entering the potions classroom and a young voice frantically calling out for Professor Snape.

Giving one another a worried glance they exited the lab and entered the classroom to find Jonathon Veren, a seventh year Gryffindor clutching a piece of parchment.  An expression of extreme worry graced his handsome young features.

"Professor Snape, Professor Granger" the boy acknowledged breathlessly as the two adults entered the classroom.  "It's Emily, she must have left this piece of parchment in my book bag after our group study session this evening.  I tried to find her to stop her but I couldn't find her anywhere.  Not the astronomy tower or the dungeons or even the library."

"Let me see it," Snape snapped stepping forward to grab the parchment.  His face paled as he read over the words that looked to have been hurriedly scrawled.  Tightening his fist for a moment he looked at the boy and asked, "Mr. Veren, have you shown this note to anyone else?"

"No sir, I didn't want to chance wasting the time" the boy answered and nervously fidgeted from one foot to the other.  

"Good.  Be sure that you keep it that way.  Now, take this note straight up to the Headmaster and let him know that Professor Granger and I will begin a search for Miss Saunton.  Quickly boy and make certain that you tell no one else of this," he ordered the boy and practically pushed him out of the classroom.

"Severus, what is it?  What has happened?" Hermione asked worried by the urgency of Snape's voice and the expression on his face.

"It's Emily Saunton.  It seems that she has decided that the only way to go against her father's wishes is to commit suicide.  We should check the Slytherin common room and her dormitory first," he said striding quickly out of the dungeons with Hermione hot on his heels.  "I only hope that we're not too late."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

**Author's Notes**:  Information regarding defenses against the basilisk comes almost verbatim from a book titled  'The Sorcerer's Companion-A Guide to the Magical World of Harry Potter' by Alan Zola and Elizabeth Kronzek.  

Information on reptilian reactions to extreme cold was found at Petplace.com ()   

As always, please leave a review as they help me determine the reaction to the story (and my writing).  They also really make my day!

~Jules 


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Eighteen 

Surprised looks were exchanged between several of the students as they took in the sight of the potions master striding quickly through the castle corridors with the petite charms professor all but running behind him in an attempt to match pace.  

"Wait here," Snape told her as they approached the entrance to the Slytherin common room.

"Why?  You may need my help…" she argued slightly offended by the briskness of his words.

"Hermione," he interrupted in a tone of voice that left little room for argument "think about this for a moment.  We are trying to keep this quiet for now.  How would it look if the Head of Slytherin and the charms professor, a Gryffindor at that, were to come racing through the Slytherin common room and the seventh year girl's dormitory looking for Miss Saunton?"

Hermione momentarily closed her eyes and then nodded her head in acceptance as the logic of his words became clear to her.  "It would look like something is seriously wrong," she conceded and stepped back to stand against the cold wall just outside of the entrance to the Slytherin dormitories. 

"Correct.  I will enter the dormitory, under the guise of questioning the girl about a recent assignment if need be, and see if she is there.  I'll be back shortly," he told the worried young woman.  Turning to face the portrait guarding the dorm's entryway, he quickly muttered the password and disappeared through the portal in a swirl of black cloth.  

Walking over to the small group of Slytherins huddled together conversing in front of the over-sized stone fireplace, he stopped to stand in front of them pausing just long enough to be certain he had their undivided attention. 

"Has anyone seen Miss Saunton?" he asked in a clipped voice.

The students looked at one another momentarily wondering what their housemate had done that would cause their head of house to personally take it upon himself to track her down. 

"Well, don't just sit there gaping at one another," he snapped and drew himself up into his most intimidating stance.  "Answer the question."

A tall, brown-haired fifth year student visibly gulped in the face of Snape's harshly spoken words but managed to gather the courage to provide the potions master with the requested information. "She's not here sir and she hasn't come back from her study session for Ancient Runes yet either."

"Are you certain?" Snape asked the boy.

"Yes sir.  She is supposed to help Gina and me with a transfiguration assignment when she gets back.  That's why we're waiting here sir," the boy replied and Gina Landers' head of blond curls began bobbing up and down in confirmation.    

"Thank you.  Please tell Miss Saunton that I need to speak with her when she returns," the professor replied not wanting to give too much of the situation away to the students.  Sparing a final glance at the Slytherins, he exited the common room wondering where the girl might have gone.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione felt as if she had been standing outside the entrance to the Slytherin dormitories for hours when the portrait opened to reveal a very grim looking Head of House.  "Did you find her?" she asked anxiously as soon as the entryway had closed. 

"No, she's not in there.  A few of the students expected her back after her study session but she never showed," he answered in clipped tones and his lips thinned into a narrow line.  Hermione was now experienced enough to know that the potion's master only wore that particular expression when he was angry or worried and considering the circumstances, she knew he was deeply worried for the young Slytherin who believed suicide was her only option for freedom. 

"Where else could she be?" the charms professor questioned as they began walking back toward the main section of the castle. 

"I don't know.  Mr. Veren said that she wasn't to be found in either the dungeons or the astronomy tower and we now know that she never returned to Slytherin.  Considering the size of this bloody castle she could be just about anywhere and we are running out of time.  That is, if we aren't too late already," the wizard muttered more to himself than the chestnut haired woman walking next to him.

"Severus, do you remember me telling you about the Marauder's Map?" Hermione asked practically stopping in mid-stride as an idea occurred to her.

"Yes. That infernal parchment of Potter's that shows a person's location in the castle" he acknowledged as he halted his steps to stand beside her.

"Do you still have it?" she asked nervously biting her lower lip and praying that Harry and Ron would forgive her for what she was about to suggest.

"Yes, it's in a cabinet in my office.  Hermione, are you suggesting that it might help us locate Miss Saunton?" he asked almost in disbelief.

"Yes, provided that she is within the castle's grounds it should lead us directly to her. That is, if we aren't too late," she mumbled softly as a new thought registered in her mind.  "We only used the map to look for people that were living so if Emily has already well… you know… harmed herself…"

"Then her presence may not register on the map," Snape finished for her.

"Yes," she agreed softly.

"Let's go," Severus said and they rushed to the dungeons hoping the map would help them find the girl before it was too late. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Reaching the dungeons, Snape purposely strode through the potions classroom and into his office.  Walking over to the small storeroom at the back of the office, he made a quick pass using his wand to release the wards and proceeded to the wooden cabinet that nestled against the back wall.  

"Here it is," he announced pulling an aged piece of blank parchment from the cabinet and handing it to Hermione.  "Now, how does it work?  I've tried a number of different incantations but they were all useless."

"It's quite simple really," she told him as she carried the parchment to his desk and rolled it out over the desktop.  Taking her wand from her sleeve, she mentally sent out a final apology to the Marauder's for the need to reveal their secrets and then tapped her wand to the parchment.  "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," she dutifully quoted the incantation that would bring the map to life before their eyes.  Risking a glance at Snape, she noticed his eyebrows had risen in a gesture that plainly said 'You've got to be joking!'

Rushing through the greetings with the Marauder's personalities that had been charmed into the map, Hermione quickly inquired of Emily's location and both she and Severus waited with baited breath to see if the map would be of any assistance in their mad flight to stop the young girl from killing herself.  Finally, a small dot labeled 'Emily Saunton' appeared off toward one side of the map.

"She's at the lake," they both shouted in unison.  Hermione grabbed the map and they ran out of the dungeons praying to any deity that would listen that they would be in time to save the young Slytherin.

"Severus look!" Hermione exclaimed and pointed to a small bundle laying at the edge of the lake. 

"I see it," the potions master acknowledged and they ran the final distance to stop in front of the unconscious body of Emily Saunton. 

"Oh no, we're too late," she whispered in a mixture of shock and horror as she took in the small form of the seventh year student that was sprawled on the grass. The young girls' hair was stirring gently in the soft breeze while the jewel-encrusted dagger that lay beside her glistened in the rays of the moonlight and blood could be seen streaming from her wrists and seeping into the ground.  

Leaning over the motionless form of his student, Snape brushed aside her hair and placed his fingers at the base of her neck hoping to detect a pulse. 

"Is she dead?" Hermione cautiously asked brushing away a tear from her face.

"No, but she isn't far from it," he replied. Pulling his wand from his sleeve, he quickly waved it over the girl's wrists while muttering an incantation in Latin that Hermione didn't recognize.  Seeing the confused expression on the Gryffindors' face he explained that it was an old spell used by healers to slow the flow of blood. 

"Hopefully it will buy us enough time to deliver her into Poppy's care," he said lifting Emily from the ground and carrying her toward the castle.  Hermione pulled a handkerchief from a pocket in her robes and carefully picked up the dagger before following them to the castle.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nearly two hours later, Severus found himself seated in the Headmaster's office. It had been a long evening and what he wanted more than anything at this moment in time was to be granted the luxury of returning to his own quarters where he would be met with the niceties of a stiff drink, a hot shower and a good night's sleep.  He didn't doubt his ability to obtain the drink and the shower but sleep would be another story entirely.  Of course he could use some Dreamless Sleep Potion but it had the distinct ability to leave him feeling hung over when morning came.  Grunting softly to himself at the turn his thoughts had taken, he watched as the aged form of Albus Dumbledore entered the office and sat down at his desk. 

"Lemon drop?" the headmaster offered before tossing one of the yellow sugar coated candies into his mouth. 

"Somehow I don't think a lemon drop is going to help this Albus," the potions master said, as resignation and weariness took up residence in his voice.

"Ah, never underestimate the simple things in life Severus, for sometimes it is the tiniest things, which we would so readily dismiss, that ultimately shower us with the most joy," the old wizard answered.    

"You might want to try telling that to Miss Saunton when she wakes up and realizes that her plan backfired," the younger man sneered. 

"Yes," the headmaster agreed. "How is Miss Saunton doing?"

"Poppy managed to stabilize her condition but it was touch and go for quite a while.  There was a time or two when we seriously thought we would lose her.  If Hermione and I had taken any longer to find her then we would be having a very different conversation right now," Severus said wearily. 

"But you did arrive in time and that is what matters the most," Albus assured his friend.  "How is Hermione coping with this?"

"Once Poppy managed to assure us that Miss Saunton would recover, Hermione decided that she would retire for the evening.  Although, I wouldn't be at all surprised if she doesn't show up in the infirmary before her first class," the potion's master answered with a small smile as he thought about the young woman who had taken such a stronghold on his affections.  

"You are probably right my friend," the headmaster agreed with a small chuckle.  "What of Miss Saunton's family?  What will you tell them?"

Snape sat back in his chair and stared off blankly for a moment, lost in his thoughts.  After a moment he pulled his attention back to the man sitting across from him and outlined his plan for dealing with Edgar Saunton and Emily's failed suicide attempt.  "We managed to keep this quiet from the students with the exception of Mr. Veren who received the initial suicide note.  You have the note and Mr. Veren has promised his complete silence in the matter under the pretense that we didn't want to place any undue pressure on Miss Saunton for fear that she might make another attempt on her life.   The student body, should they ask, will simply be informed that she has taken ill and will be spending the next several days in the infirmary while she recuperates.  Edgar Saunton can be told the same story as he would be less than pleased to discover that his daughter tried to kill herself in an effort to avoid taking the dark mark."

"He will still expect her to meet with Voldemort over the Easter holidays," Dumbledore pointed out. 

"Yes," Snape agreed with a sigh "which means that we have less than a month to find a safe place for her.  I thought that she might 'disappear' on her way home for the holiday.  That would mean that the Ministry would be unable to tie Hogwart's to her disappearance since she won't officially be on property when her defection takes place. It will also have the added benefit of assisting in presenting Edgar Saunton in a questionable light with Voldemort, considering the timing of her disappearance."

"I will begin making arrangements for a new identity and location for Miss Saunton," the headmaster offered.  "And I think, in the meantime, that you should retire for the evening."

"I couldn't agree more Albus," Severus acknowledged in a weary tone.  Walking over to the fireplace, he tossed a handful of floo powder into the flames that would take him to his own chambers.

It was a long time later before a very troubled Albus Dumbledore ceased his musings and retired to his own quarters for the evening. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Snape returned to his rooms and was now lying in bed staring at the ceiling vainly willing sleep to come while the familiar feelings of depression and disillusionment once again enveloped him.  When he had come to the headmaster so many years ago and confessed his crimes he felt as if he had been given a second chance, undeserved but a chance none-the-less. An opportunity to try and make amends for the various atrocities that he had been party to during his days as a Death Eater.  He had eagerly accepted Dumbledore's proposition of spying for the Order in exchange for his freedom not because he was afraid of being imprisoned within the walls of Azkaban, although he secretly felt that was too good for him considering the severity of his crimes, but because he truly felt he could help turn the tide and put evil back in its' place.  But now, after twenty plus years of witnessing the prejudices and unspeakable acts that Voldemort and his followers had continued to perpetrate, he was seriously beginning to doubt that the scales would ever again tip back to favor the side of good. He was equally concerned that his own efforts toward redemption had been nothing more than the idle wishes of a man whose previous choices had condemned him long ago.  Allowing a small audible sigh to escape his lips he rolled over and stared vacantly at the large bureau nestled against the wall as the memories of so many failures clouded his mind.

It had taken time, serious groveling and plenty of pain before Voldemort had allowed Severus to enter the inner circle once again.  Even now, the potions master realized that the Dark Lord had never truly been convinced of his loyalty regardless of the revels he forced himself to participate in with the hopes of currying favor and acquiring valuable information that would serve some use to aid in Voldemort's eventual defeat.  He thought about the many nameless victims that he had seen and helped torture over the years always telling himself that his actions were for the greater good and that their sacrifices would not be in vain.  Somehow he doubted the family members left behind would feel the same.  He closed his eyes tightly as he attempted to shut out the memories of the pleading looks on their faces and covered his ears in an effort to forget their shrieks of terror and their agonized screams of pain but it was to no avail.  Snape knew these things would haunt him for the remainder of his days.  He thought about the numerous Slytherins he had lost to the dark over the years.  True, he had managed to steer some of them away from the terrors that Voldemort offered but at what cost?  Draco had turned from the ways of his father and look what happened.  The boy now lay dead and rotting in a grave while the Dark Lord's minions roamed free spreading fear and terror throughout the wizarding community.  Then of course there was Emily Saunton a young Slytherin that desperately wanted to turn away from a future of darkness but felt so hopeless that she allowed her fears to drive her to attempt suicide.   

'And what about all of the muggle born students who now faced a future devoid of parents and siblings?' he asked himself.  'What help was I to them?' he grunted mocking his so-called 'good' intentions. 

And then there was Hermione.  The only true ray of hope and happiness he had felt for such a very long time, a woman whose only crime in life was that of being born to muggle parents.  Not that he considered this to be a crime but still, it was enough to make her a target to the likes of the Dark Lord.  'She might have stayed below his notice too if it weren't for your attentions,' an inner voice sneered.  Severus longed to hex that voice but couldn't bring himself to deny the logic of the reasoning behind its words.  It was because of him that Lucius had developed an interest in the young Gryffindor witch.  'And the blame shall rest entirely on your shoulders should something happen to her,' the voice whispered.    

Severus continued with his contemplations far into the early hours of the morning when his mind finally shut down as a result of sheer exhaustion and allowed him the reprieve of a couple of hours rest. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The remainder of the week passed quickly enough and fortunately without further mishap.  Emily was on the road to recovery and Poppy had indicated that she would be ready to attend classes at the beginning of the following week barring any unforeseen complications.  Hermione had taken it upon herself to stop in and visit with the frightened girl each morning before classes and a bond had begun to form between them.  

Late Saturday evening found Severus and Hermione deeply engrossed in the comparison of reptilian DNA strands and sequences.  They had found several DNA markers that were shared by all species of snakes and decided that choosing one specific marker would be their safest and fastest bet in developing an effective potion.

"But Hermione," Severus said arguing his viewpoint with the young witch, "it would be better to choose one specific DNA marker to concentrate on rather than attempt to attach the potion to multiple markers."     

Hermione's frustration was beginning to get the better of her to the point that she was ready to yell at the dark haired man seated next to her. Instead she took a deep breath, silently counted to ten, and calmly stressed her own viewpoint.  "Severus, what if something happens and the potion isn't recognized by whatever ONE marker we choose?  Don't you think it would be better to have a back-up marker targeted as well in the event our first option fails?"

"Normally I would agree with you but this particular marker is indicative to ALL species of snakes which means that it is indicative to Voldemort as well.  Therefore we only need to target ONE marker," he answered clenching his hands into small fists and doing his utmost to keep from delivering his words in a scathing tone.  The truth of the matter was that he simply wasn't used to having his methods questioned and while he cared for the young woman seated beside him more than life itself, he still wasn't accustomed to dealing with dissenting opinions.   "Besides, we still have to figure out a way to bind the potion to the marker once it is introduced into Voldemort's system.  That in itself will take time.  A commodity in which I shouldn't need to remind you that we are running preciously short on."

Suddenly the charms professor felt as if she had been transported back to her seventh year potions class.  'I needn't remind you Miss Granger of the dangers of adding the essence of pixie wings too early to this particular solution…' came the potions master's voice from a class attended so long ago.  Of course, back then he hadn't bothered to try to hide his irritation and delivered the words with such a sharp edge that Hermione was certain they could easily have sliced through solid stone.  Now however she recognized the control Severus was exercising in the delivery of his opinions and she realized that such control was a reflection of his feelings for her.  It was a thought that sent small tendrils of warmth throughout her body.  "I just think it would be prudent to have a contingency plan in the event our first option fails.  A sort of 'Plan B' if you like."

Severus smiled to himself as he listened to her line of reasoning.  It was obvious that she was tempering the tone of her reply but he still had to silently applaud her for sticking to her beliefs.  Most people would have backed down immediately in the face of his dissention.  'Of course most people are not Hermione Granger,' he thought to himself with pride.  Laying his pen down on the table he turned to look at the young woman seated next to him in silent appraisal.  She was correct to argue for a contingency plan.  It was something he would have liked himself but they simply did not have the luxury of time that would be required for the additional calculations and research.  He opened his mouth to share these concerns with her when Albus Dumbledore came walking into the lab with the gravest of expressions on his face. 

"Albus," the younger wizard acknowledged wondering what could have happened to cause such a serious expression to take up residence in the old man's eyes as opposed to their usual twinkle.    

"Severus… Hermione…" the headmaster acknowledged and came to stand directly in front of the younger professors who now realized that this was definitely not a social visit.   "I'm afraid that I have some terrible news."

"Yes?" Hermione prompted when the man stopped speaking momentarily in an effort to regain his composure. 

"I'm afraid that there has been another attack," he said slowly.  Reaching out he grasped her hands enclosing them gently within his own long weathered fingers.  The look in his eyes spoke of such sadness and regret that Hermione instantly knew she would have given almost anything to avoid hearing his next words.

"An attack?" she whispered softly as her eyes began welling up with tears that were begging to be let loose.

"Yes child" he answered. "I have just received confirmation that there was an attack in the muggle world earlier this evening.  The dark mark was found floating above a home in a small community."

"Albus, it wasn't…" the words were too painful for Severus to voice and he briefly closed his eyes praying that his intuition was wrong. 

"Yes" he confirmed sadly.  "Hermione my dear, I am so sorry but the attack was at the home of your parents." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Nineteen 

"Oh no! Gods no!" she cried out in an anguished voice riddled with grief and despair.  "It can't be… they can't be… I mean they aren't?" she tried to connect her thoughts to form a coherent question but her mind was simply too distraught to cooperate and work in tandem with her mouth.  She looked up at the Headmaster helplessly as she waited for him to confirm her worst fears. 

Albus looked sadly at the young woman before him.  Delivering this type of news was always difficult but to have to deliver it to someone whom he cared so deeply for was heart wrenching indeed.  He noticed with satisfaction that Severus had immediately gathered her into a comforting embrace and was softly stroking her hair as she waited for the final word on her parent's condition.  'Good boy,' he thought to himself in silent praise for the young wizard who such a short time ago would have shied away from such a gesture.  'She's going to need the additional strength and comfort in the days to come' he noted sorrowfully.   

"Hermione, I am truly sorry to say that the attack on your parent's home resulted in your father's death.  However, a couple of Aurors from the Ministry were able to arrive in time to save your mother," Dumbledore told her gently as he peered anxiously over the rims of his spectacles in sympathy and concern. 

"My mother?" she asked trying desperately to latch on to some small ray of hope that all was not lost.

"Yes child," he confirmed patting the small hand that was absently clutching Severus' handkerchief so tightly that her knuckles had turned a deathly-looking shade of white.  "We took the liberty of warding your parent's home when it seemed that Lucius Malfoy had developed an interest in your relationship with Severus.  I alerted the Ministry at the first sign the wards had been disturbed and they sent Aurors to the house. I am just sorry that I couldn't have done more."

Snape had flinched when the headmaster mentioned the wards in connection with both himself and Lucius Malfoy.  The potion's master knew of the additional protection for Hermione's parents as he and the headmaster had decided the arrangement back when Lucius had issued his first round of threats.  'One more thing that I am responsible for,' he thought with despair as he looked at the tear-stained face of the woman clasped within his embrace.  'Lucius is using her to get to me,' he continued his internal monologue knowing in his heart this act had been orchestrated by Malfoy Sr. himself.  Whether Lucius had been one of the Death Eaters at the Granger's home was yet to be determined but Severus was willing to bet every last galleon he owned that Malfoy was behind this evening's attack.  However, now was not the time for such reflections he told himself and forcefully pushed back thoughts of Lucius to an abandoned corner of his mind.   There were more immediate concerns and those concerns centered on Hermione.  He silently vowed that he would be there for her in whatever capacity she required although he doubted his effectiveness in helping her to deal with such a loss.  After all, he had spent far too many years isolating himself from people and their various emotional situations to pretend, even to himself, that this would be a subject in which he had any hope of excelling.  However, he was determined he would try if it meant easing her grief even in the slightest degree.  For her, he would try.  He was brought out of his contemplations when he heard Hermione ask the Headmaster if her mother was still at the house.

"No my dear," the older wizard replied kindly with a fatherly smile on his weathered face.  "Harry took her back to the Ministry and she will be moved to a secret location until everything can be straightened out."

"Harry?" she asked, the confusion plainly written across her face.

"Yes. Harry was one of the Aurors to answer the call and it was he who saved your mother from the killing curse," Albus informed her.

"What of the Death Eaters?" Severus asked hoping that the Aurors had managed to capture at least one of them.  It wasn't likely that any of the Death Eaters would voluntarily hand over any useful information but Severus had an ample supply of veritaserum on hand that he would gladly donate if it would bring them any closer to tracking down the individuals responsible for this evening's events.

"They managed to evade capture and Harry felt that seeing to Mrs. Granger's immediate needs took precedence over pursuing the perpetrators," Dumbledore answered. 

"I have to go to her," Hermione announced rising from the confines of Snape's embrace.  

"Hermione," Severus began only to be interrupted by a very distraught but determined witch. 

"Severus, I know that you don't want me to leave the castle grounds but this is my _mother_.  She's just lost her husband in a most frightening way to a group of Death Eaters that attacked them for no apparent reason and completely without warning.  She's been whisked from her home to the Ministry of Magic where she will undoubtedly be grilled for hours on end and forced to relive the specifics of the attack.  She's in a world that is totally foreign to her and surrounded by people she's never known and will have a difficult time relating to.  I _have_ to go to her. Especially since this is my fault," she finished and stared determinedly at Snape and Dumbledore.  "I _will_ go to her." 

"Yes my dear, you will go to her," Albus assured her  "Severus can accompany you to your rooms and assist you in gathering a few things that you will need.  I will make arrangements to see that you are reunited this evening with your mother and you may stay with her during the course of the next week while we make arrangements for your father's funeral and your mother's future safety.  Agreed?"

"Agreed," Hermione said quickly and began heading for the door.  

"Albus, she cannot go," Severus protested and sent her an apologetic look when he saw her grief-stricken face turn to him in disbelief.  "Forgive me Hermione but this is exactly the type of action that Lucius would expect.  He will count on you returning to your home to comfort your mother and he will not hesitate to take advantage of the opportunity to harm the both of you."

Hermione opened her mouth to answer Snape's concerns but quickly closed it again when she heard Albus' voice take over. 

"That is why she will be housed in a secret location for the better part of her visit.  I will arrange to have an Auror accompany her at all times and for additional security measures to be taken when the time arrives to return home and tend to those matters that need to be settled.  In the meantime, I suggest the two of you move quickly in gathering any personal belongings which Hermione might need during her visit while I contact the Ministry and make the necessary arrangements."  Having said all of this, the Headmaster gave the young witch a final sad but reassuring smile and exited the dungeons.  There were many arrangements to be made before he would allow his charms professor to leave the safety of Hogwarts. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 "I do not like this," Severus declared sullenly knowing that his objections would be overruled.  "It exposes you to potential danger and I could not bear it if something were to happen to you."

Hermione carefully placed her bag of toiletries in the suitcase and closed the lid before turning to sit on the bed next to a very agitated potions master.  "Severus," she said softly trying her utmost to hold her tears in check.  "I know that the risk is there and I give you my word that I will be careful but please try to understand that this is something that I absolutely must do.  I could not live with myself if I sat idly by and let her cope with everything on her own."

Snape looked into the petite face of the woman next to him drinking in the sight of her delicate facial features, the earnest expression in her eyes and the tell tale signs of pain that her tears had left in their wake.  He gave a mental sigh and accepted that this was something that she needed to do, a situation that must be faced.  He accepted it but he didn't like it.  She would be too exposed to the whims of a maniacal Lucius Malfoy and he wouldn't be there to protect her if something were to happen. A thought that threatened to make him physically sick to his stomach. 

"I understand your need to return home to comfort your mother Hermione.  I expect nothing less from you and I've known you long enough to know that nothing anyone could say or do will stop you from going through with this," he said pulling her against him and stroking her hair.  "Just remember that there are those of us who need to see you arrive back at Hogwarts safe and sound.  You must be cautious.  Accept nothing at face value.  Question everything and if the answers seem wrong or there is the slightest doubt in your mind in any given situation then return to safety immediately. Please do not allow that damnable Gryffindor courage to lead you into trouble."

That sentiment actually elicited a small chuckle from the witch as she reached up to bring his face down to meet hers in a long kiss filled with as much love and reassurance as she could express. "I promise that I will be a good girl professor," she told him with a smile.  "Thank you for understanding that this is something that I have to do.  I know you're not comfortable with my decision but I really do appreciate your support."

He gave her a small smile accompanied by a nod of the head as he stood up and tugged on her hand to pull her to a standing position next to him.  Pointing his wand at the suitcase she had just finished packing, he murmured a brief incantation and watched as the bulky piece of luggage almost instantaneously was reduced to the size of a small matchbox.  "Let's go," he said handing her the suitcase that she quickly placed in a pocket located on the outside of her robes. "Albus should have finished making the necessary arrangements by now."

Several minutes later found the couple seated in the headmaster's office listening to a listing of arrangements that had been made within the past half hour.  

"Now, you will travel by floo from Hogwarts directly to the Ministry of Magic where you will be met by an Auror and taken to see your mother my dear," Dumbledore told her quietly. "I have made arrangements to have your classes taken over for the next week which should give you time to work with the Aurors to relocate your mother and attend your father's funeral.  We will expect to see you back at Hogwarts by next Sunday.  Will these arrangements be satisfactory?"

"Yes Albus and thank you.  When do I leave?" she asked quietly as she nervously clenched the fabric of her robes. 

"You may leave now child.  Ministry officials are already awaiting your arrival," he informed her smiling kindly as he crossed the room to stand next to the fireplace.  

She turned to give Severus one final look of reassurance that she would be careful and lightly squeezed his hand to reaffirm her earlier promises.  Seeing a nod of his head and feeling his own fingers tighten in response around her hand she turned to the headmaster and grabbed a handful of floo powder from the small jar he held out. Tossing the fine powder into the fire she waited for the flickering flames to change to their familiar emerald green color and stepped into the fireplace. "Ministry of Magic" she said clearly stating her destination and almost immediately disappeared from their sight. 

"I hope we won't come to regret this Albus," Snape told the older wizard once Hermione had left the office. 

"As do I my friend," the headmaster agreed. "As do I."

  ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione arrived at the main arrival room of the Ministry of Magic in a flurry of robes and soot.  Stepping out of the fireplace she immediately began brushing the soot from her clothing and hair momentarily forgetting that she was supposed to be met by one of the Aurors assigned to the case.  

"Hermione!" a familiar voice called running up to her to throw two long arms around her shoulders and pull her tightly into a friendly hug.  

"Harry?" she exclaimed immediately recognizing the voice and the tousled head of black hair.  "What are you doing here?"

"I'm the Auror assigned to your case," he told her quietly and brushed away the lone tear that was making its way down her cheek.  "I'm so sorry 'Mione.  I really am.  I tried to get there in time to stop the attack but we could only save your mother.  I'm so sorry."

"You were the Auror that blocked the killing curse that was aimed at mum?" she questioned, shocked by everything that was happening but so very thankful to see a familiar and friendly face. 

"Yes, one of the Death Eaters was in the process of uttering Avada Kadavra and I managed to throw a hex that knocked him off balance and caused his curse to be deflected from your mum " he answered taking her hand and guiding her out of the arrival room and throughout the corridors of the Ministry building.  "When the call came through from Albus there were several of us on hand but I insisted that I would be part of the team that would answer the call.  I think they knew from the look on my face and the tone in my voice that I wasn't going to settle for 'no'.  We left a couple of minutes later but it was too late to help your dad.  I'm sorry 'Mione if I could have done anything more believe me I would have."

"I know Harry and I'm very grateful that you answered the call.  For one thing, you saved mum and for another she knows you.  I'm sure it helped her to see a familiar face after everything that had happened."

"Hermione, do you have any idea why the Death Eaters targeted your parents?  I mean, do you think it might have something to do with the fact that you and I are friends?" he asked cautiously not wanting to add to her pain but knowing that the questions would have to be asked throughout the course of their investigation. 

"Well it's always a possibility but I don't think so.  I mean if that were the case I would imagine that they would have chosen to do so a long time ago," she said wondering how she was going to tell Harry her suspicions and what his reaction was going to be when he heard them. 

"I suppose you're right although I guess we really don't have any way of knowing for certain," he replied thoughtfully.  "Any ideas?"

"Just one," she replied deciding to take the plunge and tell him about her relationship with Severus.  'It's going to come out sooner or later so I might as well let him know on my terms rather than have him hear about it from someone else' she thought wryly.  

"Yes," the boy-who-lived prompted.

"Well, you see it might have something to do with my relationship with Severus," she answered nervously.  "Ever since Voldemort discovered that he was spying for Dumbledore he's really been a target and well since Draco's death Lucius has really been out to get him because he blames him for the fact that Draco turned to the Order instead of remaining loyal to Voldemort. Malfoy believes that was what eventually got Draco killed and he holds Severus responsible."

The boy-who-lived quickly turned into the boy-who-was-floored.  Harry didn't quite know what he expected his long-time friend to say but he knew that whatever he had been anticipating didn't even remotely resemble the words that had slipped past her lips.  "Umm, Hermione" he began tentatively unsure how to put his fears into words.  "When you say your 'relationship with Severus' you are referring to Snape right?"

"Yes," she answered warily as she tried to gauge his reaction as he put the facts together. 

"Right," he said as a knot began to form in the pit of his stomach. "Umm, by relationship, you mean a working relationship right?"

"Not exactly," she muttered and nearly laughed when she looked up to see the stunned expression plastered on his face.  It was quite priceless really and for the first time in her life she wished that Colin Creevey were still following Harry around waiting for golden moments to catch the boy wonder in action.  'Oh what I wouldn't give to have a picture of this,' she thought to herself with more than a touch of amusement.  "You see, Severus and I are dating but unfortunately Lucius Malfoy caught wind of the fact and has made a few threats hinting that he wouldn't have a problem using me to get back at Severus. So it's possible that Malfoy was behind the attack."

"Right," he repeated yet again not knowing what to say in the face of her revelation.

"Oh come on Harry," she cried in exasperation, her nerves already frayed as a result of the events of the evening. "Is that really all you have to say?  I mean I know this must come as a bit of a shock and all but I'm sure you must have questions or something."

"A bit of a shock?" he asked incredulously.  "Well what do you want me to say Hermione? I mean correct me if I'm wrong but this is SNAPE we're talking about here!  You remember, the one who single-handedly made us miserable on a daily basis for seven years.  I think the only thing that would have shocked me more is if you had looked me in the eye and told me you had fallen for Filch!"

"Really Harry that's totally disgusting!" she exclaimed and couldn't prevent the shudder that ran through her body at the thought of doing anything with Filch much less… _that_!

"They continued their trek through the building in silence for the next few moments when Harry turned to her with a serious expression on his face.  "Does he make you happy 'Mione?" he asked quietly.

"Oh Harry, he's everything I could ever want.  He's amazingly brilliant and funny, in a very sarcastic way of course, and he makes me laugh and we can talk about things for hours without getting bored.  And Harry… he really cares about me you know? It's like I found a part of myself that was missing only I never really knew that it was missing" she exclaimed with barely suppressed passion but stopped abruptly. "I'm sure that must sound silly but it's true."

"No "Mione it doesn't sound silly at all," he answered sadly thinking back to his relationship with Ginny.  'Merlin I miss her so much!' he thought wondering if the ache in his heart would ever fade.  "I think it's great that you've found someone to care about who cares about you in return.  I just never pictured Snape as being that special someone in your life, that's all."

"I know what you mean," she muttered with a small smile.  

"Hermione?" he asked as they came to a stop before a set of double doors. "Could you just do one small favor for me?"

"Anything Harry," she readily agreed wondering what her friend had in mind. 

"Just don't tell Ron about you and Snape for a while okay?  I mean, he's had a lot to deal with lately and I think this might just push him over the edge."

"Deal," she agreed as they entered the room where her mother was sitting at a long conference table. The older Granger that so closely resembled her daughter sat across from an Auror with her head cradled in her hands.  Her grief and despair were so tangible that one felt they could almost touch it if they just took a moment to reach out and try. Suddenly Hermione temporarily forgot everything as she ran over to her mother and lovingly embraced her.  It was a long time before their tears finally began to subside…  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He missed her.  He never thought he could miss anyone so much that he would actually feel a physical ache when deprived of that person's absence for any length of time. However he now suffered the knowledge that such a condition were not only possible but also a confirmed fact.  He tried everything he could think of to keep his mind occupied but to no avail.  She invaded his thoughts during his lectures in class, throughout his meals and especially when he was working on their project. But if he thought the days were bad he was dismayed to find that nights were by far the worst as he lay awake in bed reminiscing over the times they had spent together. If he had to go much longer without touching her or hearing the lilting tones of her voice or seeing that special smile she reserved especially for him he would go totally, completely and thoroughly insane. 

'Damn Lucius Malfoy,' he thought to himself for at least the thousandth time that week.  Severus had managed to keep himself busy but his mind continued to drift back to the chestnut haired woman who had become such an intricate part of his life in such a short time.  'Or maybe it was a long time' he mused.  Perhaps his subconscious had recognized her importance to him long before he even considered the notion of allowing himself to acknowledge the fact. 

She was due to return to Hogwarts the following day.  He had spoken with her by floo a couple of times throughout the week and even received an owl outlining the details of her father's funeral.  She had told him of Harry's assignment to stay with her and while he would never be a card carrying member of the Harry Potter fan club he was thankful that she was in the company of such a close and trusted friend. They had managed go through her parent's belongings keeping those things that her mother retained sentimental attachments to and had even been successful in establishing a new identity and home for Mrs. Granger.  All in all it had been a very busy week for Hermione and Severus knew she was looking forward to returning to the peace and familiarity that Hogwarts offered.  He hoped that she was also looking forward to returning home to his company as well. 

Releasing the wards that guarded his rooms, Snape stepped into his chambers and was immediately assaulted by the sense that something was different.  Resetting the wards he kept his wand out in a defensive position as he surveyed the room.  It only took a moment before he noticed the medium sized stone pensieve that rested on the dining table.  He walked over to the round basin while cautiously glancing about to assure himself that he was indeed actually alone.  'The house-elves must have delivered it,' he thought as he cautiously reached for the small piece of parchment that rested next to the object in question.  Unfolding the note he was quick to notice that the writing was that of a standard dicto-quill and therefore would render identifying the sender by matching writing samples a complete impossibility. His blood ran cold as he read the few words neatly printed on the paper. 

**_Severus,_**

****

**_Consider this a small down payment for all that I owe you._**

No other information could be gleaned from further examination of the parchment or the message but Snape knew that the sender could be none other than Lucius Malfoy.  Taking a deep breath he dipped the tip of his wand into the shimmering liquid and was instantly transported into the pensieve to discover the contents of the memories contained within.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It was dark and the smell of must and dampness permeated his nostrils.  A few small candles were placed about casting distorted shapes that flickered ominously against the cold, stonewalls of his current location.  'I'm in a dungeon,' he thought certain that the dungeon was located deep in the bowels of Malfoy Manor.  He had seen it enough during his own days as a Death Eater to be familiar with the feel of the place but he knew that Lucius would be certain to leave no distinguishing marks that could be traced back to him should someone other than Snape view the pensieve.  Severus looked down and noticed that he was standing next to a small workbench that was covered in various instruments including scalpels, syringes, knives and extraction tools.  A sense of fear began to rise up in his chest and he felt his breathing becoming increasingly labored with each passing moment spent within the memory that was being played out before his eyes. 

He looked to the corner of the workbench and was surprised to see a copy of the Daily Prophet in which the date had been circled in crimson ink that made one think of freshly spilled blood.  Even more surprising was the fact that the date circled was today's date.  

The constricting feeling in his chest became stronger as he heard a small noise off to the corner of the room.  Reluctantly he turned to face the source of the noise and nearly gasped in horror at the sight displayed before him.  Standing next to the wall holding a very large whip in one hand stood the masked form of a Death Eater and next to him, chained to the very same wall was the petite body of Hermione Granger clad only in her tattered undergarments, her bruised and bloodied form hanging limply supported only by the manacles that held her captive.

A deep maniacal laugh emanated from the throat of the unidentified Death Eater as he raised the whip and brought it forcefully down to his intended target.  The only thing Severus was conscious of was the sound of the whip as it lashed across her torso and the piercing scream of pain that was wrenched from the woman before him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	20. Chapter Twenty

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

**WARNING!!!!!!!**  This chapter deals with very dark subject matter including rape, torture and death.  This chapter carries an emphatic "R" rating.  The most graphic parts of the chapter are contained within the first scene (separated by the next scene by the following graphic  ~*~*~*~*~*~) and while it is highly pertinent to the plot, I would caution you to shy away from this material if you feel you may have any adverse reactions.   

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty 

Even though he had conditioned himself to such sights throughout his years of servitude to Voldemort and spying for the Order, nothing could have prepared him for the sheer horror of the scene that visually assaulted him now.  Caught within the magical grasp of the pensieve, Severus could do nothing more than stand helplessly by and watch as the woman he loved hung limply from the chains that bound her to the cold stone of the dungeon wall, beaten ad bloodied by the faceless Death Eater. "Stop!" he cried out falling to his knees and burying his face in his hands as the black-clad demon brought the whip down forcefully against the side of her face eliciting her most agonizing scream thus far.   

As if he could sense his audience, the masked man paused momentarily before walking slowly to the workbench Snape had seen upon his arrival. Running his hands across the array of instruments that rested against the wood surface in an almost loving manner he would stop briefly every now and then as if considering his options.  Finally, after a time period that seemed to last hours in Severus' tortured mind, the man chose a long, thin knife with a perfectly smooth edge and carried it over to where Hermione hung, barely able to lift her head in an attempt to determine what sick form of abuse the Death Eater would subject her to next.    

Raising his robed arm the masked man pulled his wand out of a hidden pocket and pointed it directly at the young witch only to step closer and use the tip to gently trace along the angry lash marks that attested to his previous ministrations.  "Silencio" he muttered and laughed when he saw her eyes widen in fear as she realized that he had robbed her of the ability to produce sound.  Angry tears once again flooded her frightened eyes as she struggled desperately to utter even the tiniest decibel knowing that her attempts would end in nothing but futility.  She blinked back the tears determined she would not give the minion that stood before her the satisfaction of reaping any more pleasure from her reactions than was absolutely necessary.  Gathering all of the courage she could muster, the young woman raised her head in a defiant gesture and looked straight into the masked face of the man before open her mouth in a silent scream as she felt the cool metal of the knife painfully caress her upper arm.

The Death Eater continued to carve intricate patterns over the woman's fragile body with the razor sharp blade and stood transfixed as the crimson colored blood gently seeped from the wounds to accentuate the recently carved pattern.  Her body had become to the masked man what a canvas was to a painter and the paint he had chose to use was the precious liquid of her life's blood.   

Snape stared at the sight before him and prayed to every deity his clouded mind could remember that the memories of the pensieve would hurry up and end thereby releasing him from this personal hell on earth that Lucius Malfoy had created especially for him. Still on his knees, Severus watched as the Death Eater continued the inhumane torture of the woman who had come to mean so very much to him.  With each cut of the knife he could see her mouth open to emit the silent screams that were the result of the physical torture she was forced to endure. He opened his mouth in response to her efforts and allowed her strangled sounds to take voice as they poured forth from deep within his body.  In his own mind he could feel every pass of the silver blade as if it were slicing into his own skin and quite possibly… his very soul. 

At long last the masked man seemed to tire of his little game and stood back to admire his living masterpiece.  The girl, he noted, was practically near death.  A fact that didn't bother him in the least since that was what he had planned from the beginning but he wanted to make certain that the memories of this evening's playtime would forever be imprinted on the heart of his former friend just as Draco's death had been imprinted on him.  Casting a malicious glance under the cover of his mask, he lay the knife down and walked over to the woman. Raising a robed arm he slapped her hard across the face in an effort to erase the glazed and vacant look that had settled in her cinnamon brown eyes.  He had two more items on his agenda for the evening and for the next event he would need the bloodied piece of trash that hung before him to be aware of what was happening to her.  Of course, he could deal with the matter even if she was unconscious but, in all honesty, alert and terrified suited his purposes so much better.   Suddenly, he grabbed hold of the tattered remains of her once white undergarments that were now stained a dark red color as a result of the dripping blood from the numerous cuts and lashes liberally lavished across her abdomen and roughly ripped them from her quivering body.  Unclasping his trousers, he leaned in close to the girl placing himself between her legs and thrust into her delighting in the way her eyes widened from the shearing pain of the new sensations now occurring within her body.  The Death Eater mercilessly drove into her time and time again with each thrust becoming more violent than the last until Hermione's eyes once again widened in a mixture of pain and shock as his body finally stiffened and took its release within her.  

Pulling himself out of her he fastened his trousers once again and took a moment to study the woman before him.  She was just about to the point where she was no longer useful to him.  Her ravaged body hung from the manacles as the weight of her slumped and weakened form caused the metal cuffs to mercilessly grind into the skin of her wrists allowing the blood to poured freely from the rust infested gashes. Her face was almost beyond recognition as a result of the various forms of torture she had been subjected to and skin that had been so flawless earlier in the evening was now covered almost entirely in blood, some of which had began to dry and crust over to create an even more ghastly effect.  All in all, Lucius Malfoy was quite pleased with his efforts.  'Just one more thing to do,' he thought to himself as he walked back to the workbench 'and I'll be ready to send my little surprise to Severus.'

Looking over the remaining selection of 'toys' the Death Eater smiled as he caught sight of the item he wanted.  A medium sized dagger lay at the far end of the table, its' blade glinting softly in the candlelight.  He picked the instrument up and cradled it in his blood stained hand while coldly studied the features of its' design.  'Nothing spectacular but it will suffice for my purposes,' the wizard thought.  'It's not like the mudblood whore deserves anything better.'

And with those thoughts in mind he grasped the dagger by the hilt and purposely walked back to the near dead figure of Hermione Granger.  Grabbing her head by a handful of blood matted hair he lifted her face and allowed the metallic blade to glide purposefully across her throat with fiendish delight.  

"Nooooooooooooo!" screamed Snape wretchedly, his heart shattering into a million pieces, as he watched the blade slide across his lover's throat.  The deep line of blood could already been seen oozing from the gash across her slender neck as the Death Eater disgustedly released his hold allowing her head to drop forward where it came to rest at an unnatural angle. 

The sound of Lucius Malfoy's triumphant laughter was the last thing the potions master heard as the memories of the pensieve swirled into a murky haze and finally returned him to the solitude of his own chambers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Snape hadn't quite made the connection that he was free of the pensieve when his body began to heave and wretch with such force that he found himself doubled over and falling toward the floor.  And yet, he barely even noticed his current position as he placed his head in his hands and gave vent to all of the emotions that he had been too shocked to express while held captive by the memories contained within the magical device.  

"She's gone," he repeatedly cried in anguish rocking back and forth in a gesture that held no hope of comfort for the dark haired man who had finally, after so many years, lost everything.  'I can't do this anymore,' he thought broken-heartedly to himself and closed his eyes in despair only to quickly reopen them as he images of Hermione's battered and bloodied body flashed through his mind. No sooner had that vision passed then he began to be assaulted by images of other atrocities he had been forced to stand by and helplessly watch earlier in the evening. Images of Lucius violating the young woman's pain-wracked body replayed before his eyes just before a final image of a steel blade being mercilessly dragged across the delicate flesh of her tender young neck completed the ghastly montage.  He remembered crying out in horror and despair as he witnessed the final spark of light in her eyes diminish into nothingness as her body desperately made one last pitiful grasp for breath only to be denied that basic necessity of life itself.  

"It's my fault," he sobbed as his stubborn mind relived the horrors of what he had witnessed.  "She's gone and I couldn't save her."

'You couldn't save any of them,' a traitorous voice whispered from some hidden place in the depths of his mind.  'You failed them all.  Draco, Ginny, the Slytherin students that were lured away to swear loyalty to Voldemort and so many others' the voice continued to taunt.  'You couldn't even help Emily Saunton.  You did such an abysmal job in aiding her that she tried to take her own life.'

"Stop it!" the potions master screamed and shook his head in a subconscious effort to free himself from the damning words.  "I tried! Merlin knows that I tried my best!"

'Your best?' the voice mocked.  'Your best was never good enough.  Look around you and see what your best has accomplished.  Voldemort still lives and grows stronger each and every day, Hogwart's has become a target, and the one woman who cared enough about you to see beyond your mask of sarcasm and cold indifference is hanging dead in some gods-forsaken room in the bowels of Lucius Malfoy's dungeons.  You couldn't even save her because you were too busy cowering in fear in your own dungeons. Do you honestly expect anyone to believe that this was your BEST?'

Severus stood up and walked to the liquor cabinet to pour himself a drink.  Allowing himself an extra generous portion of whisky he sat on the sofa and raised the glass to his lips only to pull it back and throw it into the fireplace.  He could hear the glass shatter into an infinite number of shards as it forcefully made contact with the unyielding stone of the fireplace.  'No drink will make this right,' he thought to himself knowing that he would never again find solace in the amber liquid that had beckoned to him from the confines of the clear glass.  'And nothing will ever bring her back.'  He stared blankly around the room as the tears fell unnoticed down his cheeks only to drop noiselessly on the dark material of his shirt upon reaching the jaw line of his strong profile.

Everything he had pinned his hopes on was now gone. Without Hermione, the research for the 'reptilian cocktail' could not be completed.  He smiled to himself when he thought about the name she had jokingly chosen for the potion. They had been so determined and he was really beginning to think they might succeed but no longer.  Hermione's expertise would be required to embed the tracking charms.  The type of magic and the intricacy of the spells to be used were so in depth, so…complicated, that very few people would even stand a chance at partial success.  No, partial would not suffice because the spells had to be completely untraceable and while the Gryffindor witch had been close to solving the puzzle she had yet to discover the final solution.  Albus Dumbledore himself, despite his formidable knowledge and power, would be hard pressed to take up where the young woman had left off. 

'So that's that,' he thought to himself.  'My final chance to make a difference has been snatched right out of my arms.  Even without the tracking charms, the potion would never be ready in time so I will not be able to attain my revenge on Voldemort.'  He thought about Lucius Malfoy and how he should have apparated immediately to Malfoy Manor and avenge Hermione's death.  After all, wasn't that what a man does when someone has wronged the woman he loves?  

"Love?" he asked himself only to hear the word echoed back at him from around the empty room.  'Yes,' he acknowledged to himself not even having to think about the question.  'I love her and now it's too late.  I'll never be able to tell her how much she's changed my life or how she's made me view things from different perspectives or how much I look forward to seeing her smile each day. I'll never again experience the sheer joy of just holding her in my arms…'

"Enough," he sneered and walked through his rooms to his private office.  Opening the warded cabinet that contained a very special set of prepared potions and some unusual and more dangerous ingredients, he reached up to the top shelf and withdrew a small vial.  He stared thoughtfully at the glass container before placing it in his pocket and returning to his rooms.  'Forget Lucius,' he thought to himself as a different plan began to form in his mind.  'Lucius will find his way to Hell sooner or later.  In the meantime, I'm going to take one last chance at finding Heaven even if it is only for a brief moment in time. He poured himself another glass of whisky and sat down once again on the sofa in front of the fireplace.  Yes, he would be with her one way or another and if he couldn't be with her in life then he would bloody damn well choose to do so at the time of his death.  It was the best he could hope for because sadly enough even the promise of death wouldn't be enough to see them permanently reunited.  He knew, without a doubt, that his actions and choices throughout his life had reserved for him a very toasty seat in Hell.  Oh sure, Albus would argue with him that he had so much to live for but they both knew that was a load of rubbish.  'Besides, why would I want to live to be Albus' age if this is all I have to look forward to?' he mused as a sense of calmness was beginning to envelope him.  Yes, he had made a decision and it was a decision that seemed right to him.  

The one thing he did know was that he could not go through life reliving the scenes that Lucius had 'treated' him to this evening.  He just wasn't strong enough regardless of the monstrous acts he had seen and committed in his past.  He pulled the vial out of his pocket and carefully rolled it between his fingers feeling the smoothness of the glass as it touched his skin.  The liquid contained within the confines of the container boasted of a color that was the darkest he had ever seen. 'Just like my soul' he thought sadly before resuming his contemplations of the poison that lay within his hand.  No light shone through the vial. Indeed, no light could penetrate this particular potion for its purpose was a deadly one. He did see some irony in the fact that the colored liquid that was to be the instrument of his death was the color he imagined death itself to be… dark, foreboding but still holding a promise that all would be masked and that sorrows and regrets would be overridden.  It was exactly what he was looking for.  

He carefully removed the stopper and inhaled the delicate scent that wafted towards his nostrils.  Opium combined with crushed petals of one of the most exotic flowers found in the far reaches of the Orient.  Of course such ingredients gave the poison the specific properties that Severus was looking for.  It wasn't the fastest acting poison he could have chosen but he wasn't interested in speed at this point.  He had all night if necessary.  No, this poison had one particular property that all of the others lacked.  It placed the drinker in a state of euphoria, allowing the person to meet death with a smile on his face if he felt so inclined.  And Severus Snape definitely felt so inclined.  After twenty plus years of fighting Voldemort, catering to dunderheaded wisps of children and silent suffering he was determined that he would at least find happiness in the moment of his death if nowhere else.  The narcotic properties of the poison would serve to enhance his memories and emotions allowing him to peacefully relive his happiest moments with Hermione one final time. In all honesty he felt it was more than he deserved but he had neither the strength nor the will to turn his back on such a gift.

Polishing off the remainder of his drink he carefully set the glass down on the table and calmly placed the vile to his lips.  He allowed himself a small smile as the thick liquid coursed through his mouth, coated his throat and traveled down his esophagus.

"I love you Hermione," he whispered softly and closed his eyes waiting for death to claim him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  **This is NOT the end of the story** (she says as she quickly ducks behind an overturned table in an effort to avoid the produce section she expects to see hurled her way at any moment).   Seriously, this chapter was very difficult for me to write as it was the first time that I have written something this dark (and this is dark compared to my usual stories).  It is also the first time that I have attempted a suicide scene so _please review_ as I would really be interested in hearing your thoughts and comments.  My many thanks go out to those of you who took the time to review the last chapter.  I got such a thrill out of reading your predictions.  You have my word that some of the questions raised within these past two chapters will be answered (or at least clarified to some extent) in the next chapter.  

Goddessnmb1:  I sympathize and agree with your point that it can be confusing to keep track of key items in a complex plotline when there is a lag time between postings.  I too suffer from this when an author has taken a while to post and find myself flipping back through the chapters to refresh my ailing memory VBG I apologize for delay but realistically speaking (because I don't want to keep everyone guessing) I find that it's nearly impossible for me to write 3000+ word chapters and be reasonably satisfied with the finished product in less than a week (Yes I know, I'm just too picky-  Of course, it would help if real life would suspend itself for a couple of weeks and just let me write sigh).  Therefore, I usually update on Sunday evenings and I promise to do my best to stay to that schedule.  However, this week had to be rushed as my youngest son's birthday is today and my oldest son's birthday is Monday (ages 2 and 9 respectively.  I have four children in all).  Thank you for the kind words and your continued reviews.  They really mean a lot to me! big smile 

~Jules


	21. Chapter TwentyOne

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-One 

Albus Dumbledore's vivid blue eyes were not twinkling as they perused the latest statistical and casualty reports from the Ministry of Magic.  Muggle attacks were becoming a means of nightly entertainment for Voldemort and his minions and it didn't look like they would be tiring of their fun and games any time in the near future.  'At least he hasn't attacked any more students' the aged wizard thought to himself in a small attempt at consolation.   He sighed and absently stroked his long white beard as he thought about the recent carnage and devastation that had been wreaked upon so many people in both the muggle and wizarding worlds and suddenly felt as if the years had finally caught up with him.  'If things continue those years may not only catch up with me but they might even stand a good chance at surpassing my actual age,' he thought with a grimace as he filed the reports away in a desk drawer that nearly overflowed with a stack of similar reports.  

Suddenly, a small object on his desk, charmed to look like a paperweight, began vibrating creating a dull thudding sound as it softly hummed against the antique mahogany wood of the massive desktop.  The headmaster stood up and waved his wand over the object causing it to cease its' movement.  He once again sighed as he hurriedly made his way to the spiral staircase that would deliver him to the main level of the castle.  The cause for his sudden concern and impromptu tour through the corridors was a direct result of the 'paperweight' that rested on his desk.  Dumbledore had worried about his potions master's well being, both physically and mentally, for some time now but that concern had become more pronounced the evening Hagrid had found Severus lying just outside the Hogwart's perimeter so close to death.  The night Voldemort had realized exactly where Severus Snape's true loyalties had been placed.  The object served much the same purpose of a sneakoscope except that this particular magical item had been charmed to alert the headmaster in the case of a drastic change in the younger man's emotional well-being.  Not that Albus was worried that Severus would harm the staff or students rather he had been worried about the potions master's increasing flirtation with depression which, if left unmanaged, could escalate into self-harm.  Of course Severus' outlook on things in general had seemed to improve since his relationship with Hermione had begun but one could never be entirely certain.  The fact that the magical object had been activated was proof that the younger wizard had attempted, if not succeeded, in doing bodily harm to himself.  'I really am getting too old for this,' he thought and hurried toward the dungeons. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Why isn't he answering his floo?" Hermione asked the ginger colored cat for the umpteenth time only to be met with a bored look from the kneazle that plainly stated he couldn't be bothered with such trivial human matters. 

"Well, you just aren't any help tonight now are you?" she asked in a dismissive tone of voice as she reached into the wardrobe and pulled out a light cloak.  "Fine, be that way Crookshanks.  I'm heading for the dungeons and you'll be lucky if I decide to come back and see you at all tonight."

The light slamming of the door roused the cat just enough to raise his head and note his mistress' departure.  Licking his paw, he lazily stretched and scratched behind his ear before settling back down to take a nap on the soft comforter that was still neatly laid across the large four poster bed. 

Hermione increased her pace as she made her way through the empty corridors of the castle, her steps echoing softly as the tiny heels of her shoes clicked against the stone floors.  She wasn't scheduled to return to Hogwarts until the following afternoon but something had been nagging at her throughout the day.  A thought or a feeling perhaps that something wasn't quite as it should be.  'Maybe it's just the stress of everything that has happened this week,' she told herself tiredly but increased her pace ever so slightly all the same.  After standing by her mother throughout the debriefing sessions at the Ministry, Hermione assisted with the arrangements for her father's funeral that, surprisingly enough, proceeded without interruptions.  The young witch had half expected to look up to see several Death Eaters appear in the middle of the funeral to finish the job they had started that fateful night when her father was killed.  Fortunately for everyone involved the ceremony concluded without incident and Hermione and her mother proceeded to their home to sift through the family belongings.  Some things were kept, others discarded and still other possessions placed into storage for a time when Mrs. Granger might be able to come out of hiding and reclaim her identity.  Until then, her mother would be safe under a new identity in the United States.  'Somehow I just never thought mum would end up in Texas,' she thought with a smile as she remembered the hokey movies she had seen as a child that always depicted Texans as beer drinking, hat loving, cattle owning people.  'No,' she sighed, 'Lucius would never think to look for her there.'

The young witch was so engrossed in her musings that she never saw the figure that had slowed to enter the potion's classroom until she ran headlong into it causing a startled gasp from both herself and that of Albus Dumbledore. 

"Headmaster, I'm so sorry," she said stepping back and straightening her cloak.  "I guess that I wasn't really paying attention."

"That is quite alright my dear," the older wizard replied in a kindly voice "but I thought you weren't due to return to Hogwarts until tomorrow evening?"

"Well yes that's true of course but I've just had this feeling all evening that something's not quite right you know? So Harry escorted me back to the castle and I've been trying to contact Severus ever since but he's not answering his floo.  I thought he might be working on the potion so I came down to check" she said as her cheeks reddened with the slightest hint of a blush.  

Dumbledore's lips twisted into a sad smile as he patted her shoulder and motioned for the younger Gryffindor to follow him into the classroom.  "I have not heard from Severus all evening but I have reason to suspect that your premonitions may be correct and that he is in the gravest of circumstances," he said as he quickly noted the classroom was empty and proceeded to check the private labs and Severus' office.  

"What has happened?" she asked feeling her stomach begin to tighten in fear.  "What do you mean by the 'gravest of circumstances'?"   

"I have an object in my office that was charmed to warn me in the event that Severus attempted any harm to himself," he explained quickly noting how Hermione's cinnamon colored eyes widened in horror as the implications of the headmaster's words made became clear to her.  

"Why would he attempt to hurt himself?" she whispered as the knot in her stomach grew into a full-blown tidal wave of fear.  

"That my dear child is what we are about to find out," he replied gravely.  Pulling his wand out of his sleeve, the headmaster waved it back and forth in an intricate pattern across the entrance to the potion master's private chambers and muttered a few incantations.  With a small nod of satisfaction at having effectively disarmed the protective wards he returned the wand to its usual resting place and motioned for Hermione to follow him into the rooms that had become almost as familiar to her as her own.   

"Oh Merlin, no!" she screamed and ran to stoop in front of the deathly still form of her lover.  

"He's still alive although just barely," Dumbledore said quietly as he deftly placed two wrinkled fingers at the base of Severus' neck to feel for a pulse.  

"But why?" she sobbed looking into the grim expression of the headmaster.  "What would cause him to do this?  I thought things were better.  I thought…" her words stopped as she eyed the bottles on the table next to them.  'Trust Severus to be so damned organized even in death' she thought angrily as she spied the empty bottles sitting next to one another in perfect order.  The first bottle was an empty liquor bottle, neatly capped and sitting next to an empty glass.  The final object resting next to the glass was a small vial with just a trace of thick black liquid that had settled into one corner of the base.  Reaching for the vial, she quickly uncapped it and carefully sniffed at the remaining contents.    
  


"It's a poison," she sadly told the headmaster and briefly wondered why Snape would have chosen that particular potion.  'I would have thought he would have chosen something faster acting without a common antidote…' 

"We have to hurry," she frantically shouted as she jumped up from her crouched position and ran in the direction of Snape's private office.  "We need a bezoar laced with a mild dose of leeching juices."  Hermione ran straight to the cabinet that held the potion master's private stores and retrieved the necessary ingredients.  She then grabbed a small cauldron and tossed in the bezoar and the required amount of leeching juices and stirred the mixture until it reached the correct color and consistency.  Pointing her wand at the colored flames that danced underneath the cauldron, she murmured an incantation to douse the fire and then proceeded to cast a cooling charm on the yellowish liquid inside.  Grabbing an empty vial, she quickly ladled the antidote into the glass container and ran back to Severus' chambers praying that she would be in time to administer the antidote.  She firmly pushed aside the nagging voice in her head that whispered she might be too late and with the headmaster's assistance, positioned Snape so that she could place the liquid in his mouth and force him to swallow.  

"Now we wait," she whispered brokenly sitting on the floor next to the dark haired wizard.  

A tense silence filled the room as the Gryffindors waited to see if they had arrived and administered the antidote in time to save the life of a man that was so important to them both.  A small sob escaped Hermione's mouth and she quickly brushed away a tear that had escaped the confines of her eye and was quickly trailing down her cheek.  

"It will be alright child," the headmaster said taking her hand in his.  "Severus is a strong wizard and he has fought his way back from death before when he had much less to gain.  He will do so again.  We must have faith."    

"But what would cause him to do such a thing?" she asked quietly as she tried desperately to understand what the potions master could have been thinking or feeling that would push him to the point of suicide. 

"I fear that we may not know the answer until Severus is recovered enough to tell us himself," he answered softly.  "Although, if I had to guess at his motivation, I might be inclined to think that it had something to do with that pensieve."

"Pensieve?" the charms professor asked in confusion.

"Yes my dear, the one on the table.  I don't remember Severus owning a pensieve of that color.  I would guess that it was a 'gift'" he replied standing up and walking over to stare into the silvery liquid.  "Stay with him Hermione, I am going to see if this might not hold the answers to which we are searching for."  

Before Hermione could reply, the headmaster had once again removed his wand from his sleeve, dipped it into the silvery mixture of the pensieve and disappeared into the memories it held inside.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The murky tendrils of mist slowly cleared allowing Albus to take a good look at his surroundings.  He knew he was in a dungeon and while there were no discernible signs that would distinguish the cold stonewalls from those of any other dungeon, he was fairly certain that he was in the dungeons at Malfoy Manor.  The man before him was garbed in the robes and mask of a death eater and the light colored eyes that stared out from behind that mask were colder than the frostiest winter day.  The woman chained to the wall was beaten and bloodied and the headmaster let out a gasp as she raised her head just enough for him to discern her identity.  It was the face of Hermione Granger. 'No wonder Severus was driven over the edge,' he thought to himself as he watched the gruesome scene play out before him just as it played out earlier that evening for the potion's master.  The likeness was so complete that Albus himself would have believed that Lucius had managed to capture Hermione if he hadn't seen her moments before safe within the walls of Hogwarts.   

'He must have used a polyjuice potion,' the headmaster thought to himself disgusted at the depths to which the blond-haired man he had once called student had sunk.  'There is no glamour that I know of that could have been that exact,' he mused noticing the minute scar on the side of the woman's neck.  A scar which Hermione herself carried as a result of an accident during her student years at Hogwarts.   

Finally the mist began to swirl indicating that the end of the memory had been reached and Albus Dumbledore found himself once again standing in Snape's tastefully furnished rooms.  Taking a deep breath he quickly attempted to compose himself before turning to face the woman whose likeness he had just seen brutally tortured and killed.  

"Well?" Hermione asked anxiously hoping that the headmaster's explanation would provide something tangible that she could hold on to.  Any shred of information that might help her to understand what was going on in her lover's mind. 

"While I usually do not condone suicide or see it as an answer to one's problems I will say that, after viewing the contents in the pensieve, I can understand why Severus may have chosen the path he took," Albus replied and directed a look of sorrow to the dark haired man who still lay unconscious on the sofa.   

"But what did he see?" she asked with her usual persistence.  "I need to understand…" she never finished her sentence as she looked down and saw Severus' black eyes staring intensely at her as if she were a mirage. 

"Hermione my love?' he questioned in disbelief.  "You _look_ so real, you _feel_ so real," he murmured reaching out to take her hand.  "I can even smell your perfume."

"I am real Severus," she replied as the tears once again flowed down her face.  "I'm real and I'm right here and now everything's going to be fine and you're going to be alright and you'll never try something like this again."

Snape chuckled softly as he heard her words.  "So much like my own Hermione," he whispered and reached out a hand to gently touch her face.  "So positive and determined that everything will work out in the end.  Just like she was…"

"Why doesn't he believe me?" she asked her companion as a wave of panic ran through her body at Severus' complete denial of her presence.  "Why is he referring to me in the past tense?" 

"He thinks you're an illusion, a sort of side-effect if you will, induced by the poison," the headmaster explained. 

"But why would he think that?" she asked not understanding why Snape refused to believe she was anything other than a narcotic induced illusion.    

Albus Dumbledore shook his head and yet again wondered if he wasn't too old for the task of running a school.  He hadn't wanted to tell Hermione of the contents of the pensieve but it looked like he was going to have to at least outline the basics. He knew the young woman well enough to know that this was a subject she would be unwilling to let go of.        

"Hermione, the pensieve shows a most distressing scene" he tentatively began noting that Severus still clutched her hand although his eyes had once again returned to a closed state.  

"What kind of a scene?" she asked looking between the two men instinctively knowing the answer would be something that she would be better off not knowing. 

"It details an event, a most recent event, that most likely took place in Malfoy Manor although I am certain that we could not prove this," he said wondering if there was some way around telling the young woman exactly what he and Severus had seen in the pensieve.  "This event involves two people, a Death Eater and a young woman that was brutally tortured and murdered."

The headmaster stopped at that point of the story hoping that Hermione might accept that much of an explanation but his hopes were soon extinguished when she asked "But Severus has seen that type of thing countless of times over the years and while it makes it no less horrifying I'm certain that it wouldn't drive him to suicide."

It was one of the few times in Albus Dumbledore's life that he had damned Gryffindor logic but damn it he did in this case.  He knew that Hermione's sharp intellect and inquisitive nature would not allow her to let the subject rest with the minimal of questions.  He also knew that the contents of the pensieve were not something that Severus would want the young woman to know about for many reasons the least being that she would finally know the true horror of that which Lucius Malfoy was capable of.  Realizing there was no way around the situation he took a deep breath before saying "Hermione, the young woman in that pensieve was you.  Severus thought that Lucius had tortured and killed you."

The young witch sat back on her heels while an array of emotions flickered across her petite facial expressions.  Dismay, shock, confusion and anger all played a role in her current mental state as her mind attempted to process the information that Albus Dumbledore had just laid before her.  "But it couldn't have been me.  I mean, I was right here and I was with Harry before that.  How could Malfoy have fooled him like that?"

"Think Hermione," the headmaster said gently "when you met with Lucius several weeks ago, did he harm you or maybe take something that belonged to you?  Something that he could have used in a polyjuice potion to imitate your likeness?"

"No," she said thinking back on the incident at Flourish and Blotts.  "I mean, well, he grabbed me and pushed me but there was no way that…Oh no! Albus, he grabbed me by the hair! He pushed me and I could feel the strands pull away from my head but I never thought that he might have had some of the strands or had planned to use them to…Oh no!"     

"Well, I think that is one mystery solved," the headmaster said softly.  "It will be alright my dear.  You are safe and it looks like we will have the pleasure of Severus' company for a while longer at least," he said pointing to the dark haired man whose eyes were now open and staring thoughtfully at the distraught witch.

"I told you that you were far too trusting my dear," Snape whispered softly tugging gently on her hand in an effort to pull her up next to him on the sofa.  "You are real?  You are really here?" he asked needing verbal confirmation of the messages his eyes were sending to his brain.  

"Yes Severus, I am really here although if you ever pull such a stunt again I swear I will save Lucius Malfoy the trouble and hex you myself!" she said hugging him tightly while thanking the Gods for giving him back to her.

"You are lucky my friend," Dumbledore told the young man who was pushing Hermione's chestnut curls out of his face so that he could get a better glimpse of the headmaster.  "If we had been any later in arriving we would probably have lost you.  Luckily, Hermione noticed the vial and recognized the poison.  It did not take long for her to brew an antidote."

"A bezoar," Snape remarked pulling the young woman far enough from his body so that he could see her face.  "The bezoar should only have countered the poison. I should still be reeling from the effects of the opium but I am not.  How?"

Suddenly Hermione felt as if she were back in seventh year class being asked to recite the steps to complete a potion.  His tone of voice was classic Professor Snape as he was impatiently waiting for the answer to his question.  "Well, while it is true that it only takes the bezoar to counteract the poison itself, I felt that it would be beneficial to add in some leeching juices to counter the effects of the opium."

"Leeching juices?" he asked raising one eyebrow in a gesture she knew all to well. 

"Well yes.  You see, the leeching juices are of a design to where they would counter the opium by chemically attaching to it and basically, drying it up or 'leeching' it out of your system."

"So that's why the difference in color," Albus murmured silently applauding the young woman's deductive reasoning skills. 

"Professor Granger, if you were still a student I might actually be inclined to award you house points for your deductive abilities despite the fact that you are a Gryffindor," Snape said with a smirk that couldn't quite hide the underlying pride in his voice at her intelligence and unique solution.   

"And since I'm not a student?" she questioned with an impish grin.

"We will discuss it later," he replied, the deep timber of his voice finally returning to its normal state.  

"Yes well," Dumbledore said smiling at their banter, "Severus, I know that you heard Hermione and I discussing the polyjuice potion so I am certain that you have figured out that Lucius used someone else to impersonate her.  Why would he do this and what was he hoping to gain?"

"Why didn't he just wait until he could get his hands on me?" Hermione asked.

"You were surrounded by Aurors for most of the past week," the headmaster reminded her.  "The chance of Lucius being able to get close enough to abduct you was slim."

"However, he would have known that you were away from Hogwarts this week and obviously he used that to his advantage.  He figured, correctly, that viewing the scene in the pensieve would be more than enough to send me over the edge.  Although, I think he probably counted on my apparating to Malfoy Manor with the intent of killing him rather than me attempting to take my own life."

"So it was a trap," Hermione said flatly.  "He thought that you would go see him and then he would deliver you to Voldemort."

"Most likely," the potion's master agreed impassively.

"I want to see it," Hermione said suddenly looking toward the pensieve.  

"What?" the shocked voices of both Albus and Severus rang out in unison. 

"The pensieve," she elaborated.  "I want to see it."

"Hermione, no.  There are things in there that you cannot, _should not,_ see" Snape told her quietly.

"Severus, some woman died as a result of all of this and this attack was intended to bring about your downfall.  You tried to commit suicide over this for Merlin's sake!  I need to understand what he is capable of.  Don't you see?  I need to understand what was so terrible that it made you resort to the poison. I need to know what hurt you so badly that you thought ending your life was an acceptable solution. I need to know that it won't happen again and the only way that I am going to even begin to understand and accept this situation is to see what Lucius did for myself," she said eyeing both men with a grim but determined look. 

"No," Severus said standing up and crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive posture.  "I will not allow it."

"That is not your decision to make!" she argued standing up and pointing her finger directly at his chest in a subconscious effort to reinforce her point.  

The headmaster had been silently sitting by watching the exchange between his two friends and colleagues.  He knew that Severus was trying to protect her from the horrors that Lucius Malfoy had enacted.  Merlin knew that he wished he hadn't had to view the contents of the pensieve himself because it would take him a very long time to eradicate the memories he witnessed.  If indeed he ever could.  He also knew that Hermione was not about to back down and that this argument, it left unfinished, would fester between them.  Lastly, he knew she needed closure.  It was obvious she loved the potion's master but nearly having lost him so soon after losing her father would have left her feeling abandoned. After all, in her young mind, Severus had a choice.  He had chosen to leave her and knowing that he thought she was already dead and gone to him would not, in the end, be enough in her current fragile state of mind.  "Let her see it Severus," the older wizard said quietly.

"Albus, have you have finally lost what little was left of your mental faculties?" It's obvious that you've seen what's in that _thing_" he exclaimed as he angrily pointed to the pensieve.  "How can you even think of putting her through that?"

"She is right Severus.  She needs to understand. She needs to know what we're up against.  She needs to know what you're up against," he replied solemnly.

"I don't like this," he seethed "but it seems that I am outnumbered and outvoted here.  Hermione, please I beg you to reconsider your decision.  It would be bad enough to see anyone go through what Lucius put that woman through but to see it happen to someone that is your mirror image…"

"I need to do this Severus and I will be alright," she said walking up and peering anxiously into the pensieve.  

"Then if you insist on going through with this foolhardy stunt I will go with you," he said coming to stand behind her. 

"No," she replied adamantly.  "I just got you back and I'll not have any repeat performances of what happened earlier this evening.  I will be alright."

Snape turned to Albus in a gesture that screamed for a supportive voice but the headmaster merely shook his head.  "Let her go Severus.  She will need your support once she's finished with the pensieve."

Giving Snape a quick kiss on the cheek in a gesture of reassurance she turned to the pensieve and dipped her wand into the silvery substance…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  So hopefully many of your questions regarding the events leading up to the attempted suicide have been answered.  For all of you who guessed the polyjuice plot you are awarded ten house points and a one-time pass to the restricted section G  My many thanks to those of you who reviewed the previous chapter.  I enjoyed reading your reviews and I thank you for the lack of flames (which I truly expected) for what I put these poor characters through.  As always, please leave a review and let me know what you think.

~Jules


	22. Chapter TwentyTwo

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-Two 

Hermione grabbed the nearest object in an effort to steady herself from the dizzying whirlwind that transported her into the memories of the pensieve.  Looking down, she realized her fingers were clenched around the edge of a small table that was covered in…medical instruments?  'No, that can't be right' she thought spying the medium sized dagger which lay incongruously next to several smaller scalpel-like instruments. The metal material that comprised the various objects glistened softly in the flickering light of the numerous candles placed strategically throughout the room.  A stack of paper caught her eye and she turned to see a copy of The Daily Prophet.  'Why would someone circle the date?' she wondered just before realizing that the tabloid indicated that whatever she was about to witness had taken place some time earlier that day. 

Hearing the high shrill of an agonized scream, she quickly turned and gasped as she was faced with one of the most ghastly scenes she had ever had the misfortune to see.  A woman roughly the same height as herself hung limply against the gray stone of the wall. Her wrists were anchored high above her head by a set of rusted metal manacles and the remnants of her undergarments were tattered and bloodied.  The woman screamed again as the tail of a black leather whip made contact with the skin of her stomach.  Her flesh was covered in a menagerie of angry red welts that formed a pattern reminiscent of the scribbling artwork of a small child.

A sudden feeling of intense nausea gripped Hermione bringing her to the brink of retching as she watched the tortured writhing of the captive woman.  However, her attention was suddenly diverted when she glimpsed the swishing motion of heavy black fabric that comprised the robes of the only other occupant in the room.  She instinctively took several steps backwards as she looked into the featureless mask of the Death Eater. The only thing she could discern through the opacity of the mask was the lightly colored orbs of ice that passed for eyes. 

"Mother of Merlin," the Gryffindor cried out in a strangled voice tinged with fear and disbelief as the captive woman lifted her head to stare at the black-clad menace that stealthy approached with wand drawn.  Hermione recognized the cinnamon brown eyes that peered from the face of the woman.  It was a face that belonged to Hermione herself.  Suddenly everything began to fall into place and although she had known what to expect when she entered the pensieve, seeing the events unfold forced her mind to acknowledge the reality of the situation in a way that nothing or no one else could have done.  Lucius had forced the polyjuice on some unsuspecting woman and staged this scene for the sole purpose of torturing Severus.  Despair and loathing for the cloak-covered minion filled her heart and snatches of conversations from both Albus and the potions master began flooding her mind. 

"Someone that is your mirror image…" 

_"Hermione, the young woman in that pensieve was you..."_

'No wonder Severus was so adamant that I not look into the pensieve,' she thought.  Looking back to the scene that had continued to play out, she watched as the Death Eater raped and tortured the woman.  She watched silently, tears streaming down her face, as the masked man slowly drew the sharp blade of the dagger over the smooth expanse of the young woman's throat and felt a twinge of guilt at the relief she felt knowing the torture had finally come to an end for the unknown woman. 

A familiar tidal wave of dizziness struck her as the end of the memories played out and she felt the haziness of the vortex pulling her out of the pensieve to drop her back into Severus' chambers.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Sit down Severus," the headmaster told the agitated man for the umpteenth time.  "You are making an old wizard weary with all of your pacing back and forth."

"I should never have let you talk me into allowing her to view that pensieve," Snape angrily replied.  "You've seen those memories.  They are absolutely vile. Whatever were you thinking?"

"Hermione is a strong young woman, my friend.  She will survive and who knows? Perhaps you will find that she is all the stronger for her experience this evening," Albus said quietly as he rubbed his weary eyes.  In truth, he worried for both Severus and Hermione.  He knew that extended exposure to such depravity was not healthy for anyone and while the potions master had been privy to this type of act before, his emotions had never been involved to this extent.  The fact that he had attempted to end his life told the older man all he needed to know concerning Snape's feelings for the young woman currently caught up in the memories of the magical object. 

"She will never understand," Snape said with more than a hint of anguish.  

"That you love her? I beg to differ Severus," Dumbledore quietly replied as he stared thoughtfully at his friend.  

"She is not the type to stumble in the face of hardship.  She would never have made the same choice," Snape argued and resumed his pacing. 

"Perhaps not," the headmaster agreed as he watched his friend continue his fruitless journey back and forth across the room.  "Or perhaps she would have chosen the exact same path had she viewed such a scene and believed you to be lost to her."

"You're speaking of fantasy old man," Snape snorted derisively upon hearing Albus' words.  "Hermione does not think of me in that particular way.  She could never love me as I love her.  How could she?  _Why _would she? You, of all people, know the atrocities that comprise my past.  I am nothing more than a monster, a demon that she would be well advised to steer clear of."

"You underestimate her Severus," Dumbledore replied only to be interrupted by a soft, yet determined feminine voice. 

"He certainly does!" Hermione declared staring incredulously at the dark haired man across the room. 

"Hermione," Snape called out in surprise. Rushing to her he abruptly stopped several feet away as a look of uncertainty passed over his face.  "Are you alright?" he asked cautiously.

"I will be," she replied closing the distance between them to stand directly in front of him.  Reaching her hand to his face, she gingerly tucked an errant strand of hair behind his ear.  "I understand now Severus," she whispered softly and pulled him into her arms.

Completely floored by her response to both his words and the memories she had recently viewed, he simply stood there allowing his own arms to envelope her as he pulled her tightly to him.  

"There are matters which require my immediate attention Severus and I daresay you also have things to attend to," the headmaster told his friend and emphasized the last of his words by casting a pointed look in Hermione's direction. 

Albus knew his cryptic message had been understood when he saw the slightest beginnings of a smile forming on the younger man's face.  "I'll see myself out," he told the couple and wished them a goodnight. 

Several minutes passed before Severus finally drew back from the woman in his arms.  Gently taking her hand, he directed her to the sofa and poured each of them a drink to help steady their frazzled nerves.  A part of him had expected her to return from her excursion and run from him in response to the acts she had witnessed.  Although he knew Hermione was the type of person that would make allowances in light of the fact that it wasn't actually him in the pensieve committing the heinous crimes she had witnessed, he still worried she would draw a parallel to the Death Eater she had seen to the Death Eater he himself had once been.  And while he could never lay claim to being a 'nice' man during those dark days, he could honestly say that he had never taken such methodical delight in killing a person. Still, he was having a difficult time believing she had chosen to remain.  While his mind hesitated to believe that such a wondrous thing could last, his heart rejoiced at the fact that she hadn't outright rejected him.  In his opinion she truly was the most amazing creature he had ever encountered.  

"Is it true?" she asked gazing at him. "Did you really mean it when you told Albus that you loved me?"

Time stood still as he stared at the woman who anxiously awaited his answer to her softly spoken question.  He felt vulnerable and exposed in a way in which he never had before.  His feelings for her were absolute and he no longer saw any point in denying them. To attempt to do so would be nothing more than an exercise in futility. She had become as important to him as the air he breathed and her continued presence was ambrosia to his aching heart and soul. He drew a deep breath as he looked deeply into the cinnamon colored eyes he had come to know so well.  He would not lie to her even if the disclosure of his feelings resulted in nothing more than complete emotional devastation to his own fragile psyche. 

"Yes," he acknowledged reaching up to caress the smooth outline of her face "I meant every word.  Hermione, I love you with everything that I am to the point that I sometimes think the intensity of my feelings will surely drive me mad.  My heart rejoices in your presence and weeps in your absence.  You complete me in a way I never thought possible."  

Tears filled the Gryffindor's eyes upon hearing the potions master's proclamation of love.  She had been sincere when she told Harry that Severus was everything she could ever want in a man but she logically rebuffed the notion that he would ever feel such sentiments in return.  However, in a corner in one of the deepest places of her heart she secretly wished that one day he might find his way to loving her at least a little. 

"Oh Severus," she exclaimed throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him so tightly that he was beginning to find it difficult to draw air.  "I love you too, more than I ever though I could love anyone.  You complete me, you really do and I absolutely can't imagine my life without you in it and…"

Her joyous ramblings were abruptly cut off as Snape distanced himself just enough to close the small gap between them and claim her lips in a searing, possessive kiss that left each of them light-headed and incredulous.  Hermione could have sworn that it was the fourth of July as colorful fireworks exploded behind the closed lids of her eyes.  When the couple finally drew apart, on account of their body's incessant demand for air, they stared at one another in wonder and happiness. 

"I never dared to imagine you could possibly ever love someone like me" the potions master said, still amazed by the recent turn of events.  

"Why is my love so difficult for you to believe Severus?" she asked truly confused. " I love you and when I walked in earlier tonight and thought that I had lost you, I felt as if my own life was over as well."   

"Then you have some understanding as to how I felt when I thought Lucius had killed you.  It was my fault he had developed an interest in you in the first place and to see you suffer like… suffice it to say that I saw no point in carrying on," he said turning his head away in shame as he tried to regain his composure. 

"You must promise me that you will never attempt such an act again," she told him in a tone of voice that clearly stated he had no other choice but to acquiesce to her demands.

"Very well," he agreed hesitantly.  "But Hermione, you must know that I've done things in my past that I am not proud of.  Even now I am not known for my pleasant disposition. You have your entire life ahead of you and if people were to find out about us they may look down on you as well. People _will_ talk and most of their gossip will be decidedly less than complimentary." 

"Let them talk," she told him tossing her chestnut locks behind her should in a gesture of defiance.  "They're not important and they certainly don't know how we feel about one another.  Our being together is all that matters.  That is, if you want to be with me.  I mean I know that you said you love me but maybe I'm overstepping my bounds?"

Severus couldn't believe what he was seeing or hearing for that matter.  Hermione Granger was actually afraid that he wouldn't want her?  The thought was simply ludicrous! "Silly girl," he admonished and drew her against him to rest comfortably in his arms. "Of course I want you.  For as long as you will have me. What about your friends?  Have you thought about the effect our relationship will have on them?"

"Well if they're truly my friends than they will support me in this whether they agree with it or not" she said giving the potions master the impression that her closest friends were in for a battle if they so much as attempted to voice a dissenting opinion regarding her relationship with the 'greasy git.'  "Besides, Harry already knows and he's fine with it so long as I'm happy."

"Somehow I doubt Weasley will feel the same," Snape said with a smirk.

"He'll live" she said flatly, knowing that it would take Ron a long time to accept her choice.

They sat quietly together, nestled against one another and basking in their newfound feelings for quite some time when Severus decided to bring up subject of the pensieve. 

"Hermione?" he asked, "Are you really alright?  Seeing that woman suffer like that had to be difficult and the fact that Lucius used the polyjuice to make her look like you can't have been easy to witness."

The young woman in his arms thought long and hard about her answer to his questions.  "I'm better knowing that Lucius did not succeed in taking you from me," she began slowly. "Although I will admit that it is… disconcerting to realize that any human being is capable of doing such things to another person.  Having to watch it just sort of reinforced the point that he will stop at nothing to get what he wants.  He really would do that to me without a thought for the innate wrongness of it all wouldn't he?"

"Yes," he answered reluctantly.  "Although in this case it really is my fault that he is interested in you at all."

"Severus," she said sternly as she twisted her body so that she could look directly at him. "None of this is your fault.  Lucius Malfoy detests me for the very fact that I'm alive and breathing. I am muggle-born and therefore, in his eyes, not deserving of even so much as the basic rights afforded to all people.  The fact that I am associated with you was just a bonus for him. I guess that I'm angrier than anything else right now. If anything this has shown me that we have to find a way to get rid of Voldemort once and for all because once we defeat him, we can concentrate on rounding up his supporters and tossing them into Azkaban where they can't do anymore harm."

"You do realize that Lucius will never admit to being a Death Eater?" Severus asked remembering how Lucius escaped sentencing the first time Voldemort disappeared and the Ministry tried to round up the Death Eaters.

"Of course," she readily agreed.  "That's why someone needs to serve him a veritaserum laced martini and be ready to question him.  That way he would have no choice but to admit to everything he's done." 

Snape merely laughed at the simplicity of her solution.  Of course, Malfoy would never fall for it but nonetheless it was a nice thought.  

"Severus?" she tentatively questioned.

"Yes my love?" he asked tightening his grip on her ever so slightly. 

"Seeing the images in the pensieve really did help me understand why you took the poison," she said quietly.  "I just thought you might want to know."

"Thank you Hermione.  I was afraid that you would be ashamed of my behavior," he answered honestly.

"No, not ashamed.  I think 'saddened' might better describe my feelings.  You have so much to offer the Order and the wizarding world.  It really would be a shame if you denied everyone of your presence and talents, you know?"

His only answer was a noncommittal grunt.  He had truly been worried that she would think less of him for his suicide attempt.  That she might look upon him with pity or contempt or see him as being weak.  It was a thought that didn't sit well with him at all. 

"Severus? I figured out one other thing as a result of viewing the contents of the pensieve," she said with a little more enthusiasm in her voice.

"And what would that be?" he questioned still marveling at her ability for forgiveness.

"I figured out how we're going to get to Voldemort and deliver the potion."

Okay, that got his attention!  Sitting up straighter he turned her so that she once again faced him.  The look on her face was one of intense concentration so he knew that whatever she had in mind she was serious.  "How?" he demanded.

"By borrowing a page straight out of Lucius Malfoy's own book…"

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC    


	23. Chapter TwentyThree

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-Three 

The dawning of the new day came swiftly on the heels of Hermione's unexpected announcement. She had eagerly related the key points of her idea to Severus and the recently reunited lovers had discussed the merits of such a plan for several hours. Finally, just before the blackness of the night gave way to the demands of the dawn, they fell asleep wrapped in the comfort and safety of each other's arms. 

Several hours later the couple dragged themselves out of bed and, after having a light breakfast of scones and coffee, made their way to the headmaster's office. There were plans to be made and time was short.

"Sour gummy worms," Hermione announced in a clear and concise voice to the vigilant gargoyle guarding the entryway. Her facial features twisted slightly to form a small grimace as she contemplated the headmaster's current password.  'Where does he come up with these passwords?' she asked herself wondering why anyone would want to eat anything that had been modeled in the image of a worm. 

The young couple entered the spiral stairway and soon faced the entrance to the comfortable office.  

"Ah, Severus and Hermione do come in. We were just talking about you," Albus declared in a fatherly sounding voice as he welcomed his newest arrivals.  Raising a heavily robed arm, he drew their attention to the presence of two young men who were also currently occupying the room. 

Turning her head in the direction indicated by the headmaster, Hermione gasped as her mind took in the identity of the other occupants.  "Harry! Ron!" she exclaimed running over to hug each of her childhood friends.  "What are you doing here?"

Harry smiled at her enthusiasm.  He noted the smile on her face and while he would have liked to think it rested there on account of his and Ron's presence he knew that such a wish was only partially true. He recalled the sadness her eyes had carried the previous day while she was away from Hogwarts. 'She really does care about him,' he thought in amazement. It was in this brief yet infinitesimal moment that a new awareness permeated both his mind and his heart prompting him to make a split second decision. A decision he fervently hoped wouldn't prove a mistake in the long run. Simply put, Harry promised himself that he would make every effort possible to get along with Snape. After all, Hermione was one of his most cherished friends and it would be better for all concerned if they could put aside past differences and at least _attempt_ to remain civil. It was, he decided, the second scariest thing he had ever done in his life only to be surpassed by his previous confrontations with the Dark Lord himself. Turning his attention to the black robed figure that had silently witnessed the unexpected reunion with little more than a raised eyebrow, Harry offered his hand in greeting.  It was a tentative gesture that bespoke of peace and civility and the young man nervously hoped the potions master would recognize and accept it as such.  "Hello professor" he said quietly. 

Severus stared at the young man standing before him and allowed his obsidian eyes to rest momentarily on the outstretched hand. This boy had been the bane of his existence for seven long years and Snape would have bet half his fortune that the two of them would go to their graves as nothing more than distant enemies at best.  But the boy had grown up and within his eyes the older man could see the signs of maturity as clearly as he saw the spectacles on Harry's face.  The person standing before him was no longer the reckless child that had scampered throughout the castle corridors under the cover of an invisibility cloak while flagrantly disregarding rules and consequences. No, in his place Severus was surprised to see that a quiet young man had immerged.  A young man who, as a result of both age and necessity, had learned the value in taking the time to give thought to a situation before leaping directly into danger's path.  Unbelievable as it may seem, the potions master was forced to privately acknowledge one very definitive fact: Harry Potter had grown up.  Even more unbelievable was the fact that the young man had taken the initiative to step forward in an attempt to establish a tentative truce.  A truce forged not for himself but for the simple reason of making Hermione's life a little easier.  Snape's regard for the Boy-Who-Lived reluctantly raised a notch. "Good morning Mr. Potter," Severus answered taking care to omit the customary sarcastic tones from the timbers of his voice. Firmly clasping Harry's outstretched hand within his own, Snape silently accepted the young man's offer and their unspoken truce became a reality.  

Hermione had been speaking with Ron as she witnessed the brief exchange between her lover and her best friend. Her heart swelled with pride for both men and while she wasn't convinced they would be able to maintain a civil façade for any great length of time she was nevertheless grateful they had at least put forth the effort.  

Ron, for his part, looked around the room in obvious confusion. He had missed something but he couldn't quite put his finger on what that something might be. He could feel the usual undercurrent of tension sweeping around them.  After all, it was the same undercurrent they had always felt whenever they were in the presence of Hogwart's formidable potions master. But this time it was different somehow.  This time it was laced with a feeling of…well, he couldn't quite tell what it was laced with but he knew that whatever it was it was just downright strange. Harry was actually going out of his way to be nice to Snape. 'Why?' he wondered.  And if that wasn't strange enough, Snape was making an effort to be nice in return. 'The whole world is going daft' he told himself in an effort to explain away his current situation.  Daft or not, it was definitely something he would ask his friend about later.  In the meantime, the headmaster had told them Hermione might very well be in danger and that was definitely their top priority.  Nodding briefly to his ex-teacher, Ron returned to his chair and waited for the headmaster to reveal the purpose behind their unexpected visit.  Comfortably seated, he looked toward the woman in question and wondered what type of trouble she had landed herself in that was grave enough to warrant Dumbledore's interference.  He was so caught up in his musings that he barely managed to suppress a gasp of astonishment when he saw the young witch voluntarily draw her own chair a little closer to 'the greasy git.'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Albus Dumbledore had watched the exchange between the Gryffindors and his potions master with great interest.  He was glad to see that Severus and Harry at least seemed to be making an effort to be civil to one another although, considering how important Hermione Granger was to both men, he wasn't too terribly surprised.  Mr. Weasley however, would take a little more time to adjust and the older wizard expected to hear some very colorful words from the red-haired man once he discovered the true nature of Severus and Hermione's relationship.  However, he would save his musings for another time.  Right now there was business to be discussed. 

"I suppose you are wondering why I requested your presence here today?" the headmaster asked, directing his question to Harry and Ron.  

"Well, you said it had something to do with Hermione's being in danger," Ron blurted out and unconsciously inched further back in his chair as he saw Snape's disapproving glance.

"Yes. Sadly, we have every reason to believe that Professor Granger has become the current focus of Lucius Malfoy's vengeful attentions," Dumbledore answered.  He then relayed, in detail, the events of the past several weeks as well as those of the previous night. Any mention of Snape's attempted suicide was omitted from the list of events portrayed to the young men.  

"So you want us to remain here at Hogwarts and watch over her?" Harry questioned instinctively knowing that the young witch would be less than pleased by the thought of a round-the-clock patrol.  

"That is precisely what I want you to do," the headmaster replied.  "I have already cleared your schedule with the Ministry for the next few weeks.  As far as they are concerned, you have been temporarily assigned to Hogwarts.  Hermione will not be allowed to roam unattended throughout the corridors before or after classes and by no means will she be granted permission to leave the grounds.  It is simply no longer safe for her to do so."

"What about the evenings?" Ron asked looking over to his friend with a hint of apology when he saw her eyebrows rise at his question.  "Will she be alright alone in her rooms?"    

Snape replied before either Hermione or Albus could respond.  "That matter has already been taken care of Mr. Weasley." He calmly returned the young woman's questioning glance by way of a small smirk.  

"Yes well," Albus intervened sensing that Ron was about to retort to Snape's dictatorial treatment of the situation. "I believe that Severus and Hermione also have some news they wish to share with us regarding their progress on the potion for Voldemort?" 

Amazed yet again by the wizard's uncanny penchant for knowing everything that transpires within the walls of the castle, Severus gestured for Hermione to begin recounting their research for the 'reptilian cocktail'.

"Wicked," Ron praised and then looked to the professors with an air of confusion.  "But how do you plan to get it to Voldemort?"

"Well," Hermione began "after watching the memories in the pensieve last night I started thinking about the polyjuice potion and how it really can trick a person into thinking that you're someone else.  So I figured that if we use polyjuice to impersonate Emily Saunton then we would be able to visit her home during the Easter holidays and be there for her meeting with Voldemort.  No one would know that it wasn't Emily so she wouldn't be in immediate danger from her father and that means she could remain at Hogwarts and finish the school year. We could slip the potion to Voldemort and come back here to monitor him and devise our attack while the potion has time to work."

"But Hermione," Harry said with a frown, "someone would quite possibly have to spend several days pretending to be Emily Saunton. And in her own home no less.  Aside from the fact that the polyjuice potion must be taken every hour, don't you think her parents might get suspicious? After all, she is their daughter." 

"Well, we have two weeks until the Easter holidays.  That would give us time to work with Emily and learn any relevant information we might need to carry out our plan," she answered while looking to the potions master for confirmation that Emily would assist them in their endeavor.

"Okay, so the girl helps and you go to her house.  How are you going to slip the potion to Voldemort?" Ron asked. 

"We have yet to figure that out Mr. Weasley," Snape answered, "as we have not quite finished creating the potion itself. The final listing of ingredients will dictate, at least in part, the means of delivery.  I have made some progress while Hermione was visiting her mother but there are still details to be finalized and experiments to be run."

"We also have to complete research on the tracking spell," Hermione told them. 

Albus Dumbledore had quietly listened to the ongoing conversation.  He wasn't worried by the incomplete status of the project or by the fact that time was extremely limited.   He knew from experience that neither Severus nor Hermione would have suggested such a plan had they not been relatively certain they could deliver the completed potion in time.  "Severus, do you have enough polyjuice on hand to accommodate several days worth of deception?" he asked knowing that it would otherwise take a month to brew the concoction.

"Yes Albus," the potions master answered.  "My seventh years recently completed the brewing process as part of their curriculum.  I always bottle and store the best of the samples so there should be enough to last four to five days.

"Who were you thinking of sending?" Harry asked looking at Snape and Hermione. He allowed his gaze to linger momentarily on his friend as he noted the telltale flush that had risen in her cheeks.

"No Hermione," Harry said in a tone that plainly stated there would be no argument.  "You cannot be the one to take the polyjuice."

"And why not?" she asked in her bossiest voice, reminding him of some of their school day disagreements.

"Because it's too dangerous.  If Voldemort senses that you aren't Emily then there's no telling what he will do to you," the Boy-Who-Lived reasoned.

"Pain and death probably and lots of it" Ron muttered.

"Well, you can't go Harry.  I mean, you can't even really guarantee that you could use your wand against him properly.  Remember what happened in your duel with him during our fourth year?  And Severus can't go because Voldemort would know him instantly on account of the dark mark" she logically pointed out.

"What about me?" Ron asked, visibly gulping at the thought of facing the Dark Lord. The fact that he would be masquerading as someone else did little to ease his fear.  "There's no reason I can't go."

"If I remember correctly," Hermione answered in a voice that reminded him of their first meeting on the Hogwarts Express so many years ago, "Your last attempt at impersonation didn't go too well."

"What?" Ron practically screamed out in irritation.  "You can't be referring to that incident with Malfoy back in our second year.  I mean… blimey 'Mione we were TWELVE!  And besides, I don't remember that night as being one of your finest hours either."      

Harry knew from the look on Hermione's face that the ill-timed reminder of her disastrous experience with the polyjuice potion had resulted in her reaching the end of her patience. He remembered that look as it usually foretold of an impending exit on her part to be followed by dumbfounded looks on his and Ron's part. He glared in warning at the red-haired young man with a fierce expression that clearly said 'Shut Up!' while jabbing his loud-mouthed friend in the ribcage with his elbow. 

Ron, for his part, knew he had gone too far when the chestnut haired woman fixed him with a look that could instantly freeze water.  Leaning over to the Boy-Who-Lived he quietly whispered, "She's been working with Snape too long I tell you.  Now they even have the same facial expressions."

Unfortunately he hadn't spoken quietly enough for, upon hearing these words, Hermione stood and threw up her hands in gesture of complete aggravation.  With a muttered explicative she turned to the headmaster and made her excuses stating that she needed to continue her research on the tracking spell.  Giving the red-haired Gryffindor a hellish glance she turned and stormed out of the room. 

"Good going Ron," Harry verbally chastised his friend. 'This is going to require some damage control,' he thought wearily wondering if Ron would ever learn to think before he spoke.

Snape, for his part, had sat back and watched the scene between the two men with increasing amusement.  He knew that Hermione was planning on drinking the polyjuice and impersonating Emily Saunton as a means to gain access to Voldemort.  He had, in fact, argued strenuously against that very idea the previous evening but to no avail. Even the suggestion to allow an Auror to deliver the potion was met with a firm rebuttal from the young woman who had stubbornly argued that if something were to go wrong one of them would need to be there to try and save the mission.  He sighed as he yet again acknowledged the logic of her argument.  Somehow he would have to think of something that would keep her safe.  But what?  Allowing himself a small smirk at the squabbling young men he bid the headmaster goodbye, reminded the bickering Gryffindors that their charge was now roaming the corridors alone, and followed the fuming young witch out of the office.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC


	24. Chapter TwentyFour

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-Four 

A week had passed since Hermione's abrupt exit from the headmaster's office and her days had settled into an exhausting routine. Mornings consisted of a quick breakfast followed by a short meeting with Emily Saunton in which details of the girl's home life were relayed to the Gryffindor.  No detail was too small and nothing was left to chance.  Hermione learned everything she could about Emily's family, her childhood antics, the layout of her home and even her hobbies.  She learned to imitate the girl's mannerisms including her facial expressions, body language and even managed a rather impressive imitation of the younger woman's walk. All in all, Hermione felt she was just about ready to undertake her self-appointed task of impersonating the pureblooded Slytherin.  She only wished that she wasn't so nervous!

The remainder of her mornings was usually occupied with classes and she quickly marked papers and assignments during her free periods so that she would have her evenings free to assist Severus.  Research on the tracking spell had progressed more slowly than she would have liked but she was fairly confidant that she had finally devised a way to incorporate the charm into the formula without threat of detection by Voldemort.  All she had to do now was test it.

"You seem distant this evening," Snape said looking at Hermione with no small amount of concern.  "Is everything all right?"

Adding the final pinch of tattered fairy wings, she stirred the sickly smelling potion once more before lowering the heat to prevent the cauldron from boiling over. "I'm fine," she replied with a weary smile.  "Just tired.  I'll be glad when this is over and we can finally get a full night's worth of sleep."

"Agreed," the potions master murmured.  Stepping back from the cauldron, he pulled out his wand and placed several protective wards around the room to prevent anyone from tampering with the brewing process.  He then placed a hand against the middle of her back, softly propelling her toward his chambers.  He would have liked to entertain the notion of taking the young woman to bed, spending a passion filled night with one another, before gently falling asleep in her warm embrace right before the sun awoke to signal the start of a new day.  That's what he would have liked but the hectic pace of their race against time ensured that they were both too tired to do little more than sleep.  He sighed in frustration but decided that awaking in one another's arms wasn't the worst consolation prize he could have imagined. He watched quietly as the young woman changed into her nightclothes and quickly completed the evening ritual of brushing the chestnut tresses, which hung loosely down her back. 

"I wanted to thank you," she said tentatively and began fiddling with the brush in her hands. 

"For what?" he answered, confusion evident in his reply.

"For putting up with Harry and Ron the way you have.  For being so… _nice_ to them this past week," she answered and raised her eyes to meet the obsidian orbs that stared so intently at her.  

Pulling the covers back on the large bed, he motioned for her to take her place next to him.  Once she had settled herself on the coolness of the satin sheets, he wrapped his arms around her waist and drew her body close to where it lay cradled against his muscular limbs.  Placing his mouth next to her ear he softly whispered, "You are welcome but what else could I have done?"

The effect of his warm breath sliding so sensually across the smooth skin of her ear and neck sent shivers of delight spiraling throughout her body.  She never ceased to thrill at his nearness or revel in his softly spoken words of love.  Of course, those words were only spoken in the privacy of his chambers with no one but the two of them present but Hermione didn't care.  He loved her and if she had her way Voldemort would be gone soon followed shortly thereafter by Lucius Malfoy.  Just a little more time and, if they played their cards correctly with the potion, they would be free of the necessity of constant surveillance and security.  They would be free to live their lives as they chose. 

'But these are contemplations for a later time,' she mused and pulled her thoughts back to the present.  Turning her body so that she lay facing the dark haired man beside her she smiled and pushed back a tendril of hair that had fallen across his eyes.  "You could have been mean and perfectly horrible to them," she answered sternly though the hint of mischief in her eyes told him that her words were meant in jest. 

"Hmm… I suppose I could have," he agreed dropping a small kiss on her forehead. "But then I would have had to contend with three angry Gryffindors and Merlin help me if I dare to upset the Dream Team."

"Right, as if that ever stopped you in the past," she replied and he could her the heavy threads of irony lacing her words. "Admit it, you've never been bothered by our opinions and therefore I fail to see where you would be bothered by them now.  After all, we're just a bunch of _Gryffindors_."

"As much as I'd like to deduct house points for your cheek _Professor Granger_, I do find myself acknowledging the merit of your statement," he said with a classic Snape smirk. "However I find that my present circumstances have changed and for the sake of what little remains of my sanity, I have merely reasoned that it is easier to attempt a modicum of civility with those dunderheaded goody-goodies than to face the wrath of you and that mangy ball of shedding fluff you call a familiar."

"Oh!" she sputtered indignantly at the Slytherin's line of reasoning, "Crookshanks is NOT a … what was it… oh yes… a mangy ball of shedding fluff!  He is an excellent familiar and quite intelligent too."

"Well, the four footed monster has shown the intelligence to stay away from the dungeons," he agreed laughing as her mouth opened to form another comeback in defense of the kneazle.  "However what is of even more interest, to myself at least, is the fact that you chose to valiantly leap to the defense of your cat rather than your childhood friends. Could it be Hermione that you might actually agree with my assessment of Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley's character flaws?"

"I am not even going to dignify that with a response," she replied haughtily and turned her body so that her back once again faced him.  "Damn the man,' she thought to herself as the beginnings of a small smile spread across her petite facial features. 'Try to pay him a compliment and he turns it around.'

Snape, for his part, laughed quietly at her supposed indignation.  Their easy banter never ceased to amaze him and he delighted in the fact that he had finally found someone with whom he could share his acerbic wit. Even better was the fact that the woman lying next to him was more than capable of giving as good as she received. He marveled that there had ever been a time when 'Professor Snape' had intimidated her in the least possible way. 

"You are welcome," he murmured softly, referring to her original offering of thanks. Once again pulling her body close to his own he continued,  "I find that Mr. Potter's foray into adulthood has at least had the added benefit of rendering his presence to be tolerable.  However, in all honesty, I cannot say the same for Mr. Weasley.  If it weren't for your long-standing friendship with the young man then I would revert to type and avoid his presence entirely."

Hermione grinned under the cover of darkness as she listened to Severus' newly found opinion of The-Boy-Who-Lived.  Clearly, Harry was doing something right considering that the potions master's original opinion was anything but complimentary. Yet again she found her body flooded with feelings of love and warmth for two of the most important men in her life.  Their efforts in reaching mutual ground with one another had been considerable but she could sense that a feeling of respect had developed between the two.  Not that either one would ever admit it of course but she was grateful nonetheless as it made her life that much easier.  It was bad enough that she still felt obligated to play referee whenever Ron entered the picture and while she loved the red-haired man as if he were her own brother, she couldn't help but wish that he would grow up just a bit and let bygones be bygones.

"Ron means well," she replied knowing in her heart that her friend really did have her best interests in mind.  "He just has a problem seeing past his own feelings and prejudices.  He'll come around eventually. He always does."

"Perhaps," he conceded not wanting to start a major debate with the young woman at such a late hour.  "Although I would wager that it won't be any time soon.  Especially once he learns of the true nature of our relationship."

Hermione momentarily closed her eyes as the truth of his words washed over her.  So far they had managed, by mutual consent, to keep their personal relationship a secret from Ron.  To divulge such information when he first arrived would have only led to anger on the younger man's part and he needed to maintain a level head if he was to be effective in his role as Hermione's bodyguard.  It was a role he couldn't adequately accomplish if the four of them were squabbling like first years. 

"I don't think it's going to matter much longer anyway," the young woman said with a sigh.  "He's already suspicious and it doesn't look like the 'working relationship' explanation will hold up much longer."

"Then Weasley will have to do the unthinkable and behave like an adult for once in his miserable life.  If not for himself then at least for you" Snape responded a little more harshly than he intended.  He didn't want to upset Hermione but he was getting tired of watching his every move when Weasley was around.  The cloak and dagger routine had long ago lost its appeal and to have to jump through hoops for the sake of the red-haired sidekick was annoying to say the least. 

"Get some sleep love," he instructed and smiled as she wiggled closer until she fit snugly within the curves of his body.  "We'll deal with Weasley's delicate sensibilities when the time comes."

Little did they both know that time was approaching quicker than they had imagined…   

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I'm telling you Harry that something is just not right!" the red-haired young man exclaimed in frustration.  "I know she's hiding something and I want to know what it is."

Harry removed his glasses from his face and gently massaged the bridge of his nose.  Ron was in one of his moods and the only way he was going to calm down was by talking it out.  Harry just wished that he didn't have to take all night in doing so.  

"Ron, for the last time, I don't think Hermione is really hiding something and if she is then it's her business.  Our job is to protect her, not to pry into her life." 

"But Harry, that's just the point," he argued as if the fact should be perfectly clear to everyone. "How can we be expected to protect her if she's hiding things.  What if she's hiding something that we need to know about?"

"She's not hiding anything that will affect our ability to protect her," the boy-who-lived answered sharply.  

Ron looked at his friend as an idea began to take form in his mind.  "You know what she's hiding don't you Harry?  She's told you but she won't tell me! That's just typical. I'm always the one to be left out.  Some things never change."

"That's enough Ron," his friend replied sternly.  "You have never been left out unless it was for your own good.  The important thing here is Hermione and we both need to remember that.  Getting all worked up about anything else will just defeat our purpose."

"Always the voice of reason aren't you Harry," Ron sneered but sat quietly on the sofa.  "Fine, our first priority is Hermione but let me just ask you one thing: How are we supposed to protect her when we can't even get in contact with her?"

Harry looked over at his friend with a look of confusion.  "What?"

"Well, she disappears at night to go work on that barmy potion and that's the last we hear of her.  Snape said that protection has already been arranged for her evenings but neither one of them has said what that might be. She doesn't answer her floo at night…"

"You've tried to call her late at night?" Harry interrupted.  "Why would you do that Ron?"

"Well… we're supposed to be looking after her and I just wanted to make certain that she was alright" he defended weakly.

"Ron, I think that if anyone can look out for Hermione that it would be Snape.  He knows more about the Dark Arts, not to mention Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy, than either of us.  If she's with him then she'll be fine," the young man said trying to make his friend listen to reason.  

"But that's just it! How do we know she's safe once she's left the lab at night?  I mean it's not as if they're an item and she spends her evenings with him," he said with a small laugh that ended almost as soon as it began when he saw the look on the other man's face.  "Harry… tell me they aren't… well, you know… together or something because that would be just too disgusting."

Harry paused before answering Ron's pleading question.  He knew it was going to come down to this and somehow he instinctively knew that it was going to fall to him to smooth things over with his volatile tempered friend. Harry also knew that Ron, though he wouldn't admit it, still harbored more than a slight crush on the brainy bookworm of their group. "Ron, be reasonable.  Hermione is a grown woman and if she chooses to pursue a relationship with Snape than it really isn't any of our business to interfere."    

"You knew didn't you?" the irate Gryffindor accused.  "You've known all along and that's why you've been so nice to Snape.  How could you Harry? He's the enemy!  Don't you remember what that git has put us through over the years?  You told me that you were just being nice to him so that Hermione would feel more at ease having to be around all of us but you never said that she was having an affair with the greasy bastard!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH RON," Harry shouted at his friend.  "It's true, I _am_ being nicer to Snape for Hermione's sake.  I care about her and she's been through enough lately with the attack on her family and the threats made against her by Lucius Malfoy.  She doesn't need us all bickering like a bunch of adolescent children." The boy-who-lived momentarily stopped his tirade as he noticed the blush that crept up Ron's neck during his last comment.  He felt sorry for his friend because he knew that the young man was clinging to denial for several reasons.  Sighing, he continued, "Hermione loves him Ron and for whatever reason I think he really loves her too. They're alike in a lot of ways and it works for them.  Would you really want to deny her happiness based on our experiences as children?"

"No, but she's too good for him," the redheaded man mumbled looking as if his world had just fallen apart.  "He'll hurt her and then where will she be?"

"He might," Harry agreed softly "but I don't think so.  He has changed somewhat and you can clearly see that he cares for her whenever he glances her way. Besides, Hermione has always been a pretty good judge of character and if she says this is the right thing then we're just going to have to believe that she knows what she's talking about."

"But Harry," Ron whined, "even if he has changed it doesn't alter the fact that he's way to old for her. It would be like dating your father. It's obscene."

"Who are we to say that Ron?" Harry replied quietly.  "Besides, given the life span of wizards and witches, a twenty year difference is really not all that much.  It's not like she's dating Dumbledore or Hagrid."

Ron blanched upon hearing his friend's words.  "Ugh Harry, those are visuals I just can't deal with."

"You know what I mean Ron and remember, Hermione has always been more mature than those around her.  I think the age difference is actually a benefit in their case."

"But Harry…"

"Ron, you're going to have accept this whether you like it or not.  She's made her choice and she's still our friend.  We have to be supportive and that means no hysterics when you see them.  Now, they've tried to be respectful and keep their relationship a secret because we all knew how you would react but now that you know you'll just have to come to terms.  Besides, I know better than anyone that love can be snatched away without so much as even a minute's notice.  Do you really wish for Hermione to waste her time harboring childish grudges and miss out on what might be the best thing to happen to her in her entire life?"

A tear came to the young man's eye at the reference to his recently departed sister.  He knew that Harry was right but letting go of the hatred that had been allowed to build over the years towards Hogwart's potions master was not going to be an easy task.  He didn't even want to think about the fact that he still had feelings for Hermione, as that would only tear at his heart even faster.  'Why Snape?' his muddled mind kept questioning.  'Why not anyone but Snape?'  Looking up from the spot on the floor that he had fixated on he noticed Harry's concerned yet questioning gaze.  

"I'm sure you're right Harry but I'm going to need some time," he told his friend.  "I'm going to bed.  I just can't talk about this anymore tonight."

Harry nodded solemnly and patted his friend on the shoulder.  He knew that it would take Ron a while to come to grips with the information he had just discovered. He also knew that deep down, Ron wanted the best for his friends and if that meant accepting that Hermione wanted to pursue a relationship with Severus Snape than he would muster the courage to be supportive of her needs.  That was just how the young man was.  Unfortunately, getting to that point might take a little more time than usual given the nature of the relationship and the persons involved.  The boy-who-lived sighed yet again and shook his head.  It was definitely going to be a long week…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next few days passed in a blur as Severus and Hermione spent every possible moment making adjustments to the potion.  Sleep had become more or less of an extinct commodity and tempers were becoming edgy all around.  The only person who had remained uncommonly calm was Ron.  He had been all but silent for the past few days and Hermione was starting to become worried. She promised herself that when she returned from meeting with Voldemort that she would sit down and have a long talk with her friend.  

The nearer the Easter holidays drew, the more snappish Severus became.  He was worried about sending Hermione on such a dangerous mission.  It wasn't that he doubted her courage or her intelligence, as he knew she was amply gifted with both qualities.  They were part of who she was and he didn't doubt that such qualities had played a role in his attraction to the young witch.  No, what worried him were the infinite possibilities that something could go wrong.  The polyjuice potion might not work, the 'reptilian cocktail' might not work, and Saunton, or worse Voldemort himself, might discover her.  The potions master's face tightened until his facial features were contorted into a sort of grotesque mask of fear and worry.  He had to do something to protect her and that was why he was in his lab at three-thirty in the morning while Hermione was peacefully sleeping back in his chambers.  

He had several ideas regarding methods of protection and all of them centered on the potential dangers of her mission.  Teaching her some of the more potent hexes and curses of the Dark Arts had crossed his mind but he really didn't have that much time and considering the company she would be keeping he doubted if her newly learned skills would be able to provide the necessary amount of protection she might require.  No, he would do what he always did best.  He would concentrate his energies on his potion making and he would start by modifying the polyjuice potion so that it would last longer than one hour.  It would not do for her to have to excuse herself from Voldemort's presence to imbibe additional doses of polyjuice.  Even if she managed to hide the true nature of her absence she would probably be rewarded, at best, with a mild dose of Cruciatus from Voldemort.  He didn't even want to contemplate the extent of Edgar Saunton's wrath should she displease the Dark Lord in so much as the slightest of ways.

He added the last of the ingredients to the polyjuice potion and increased the heat to bring the fluid to a full rolling boil.  Back in the days of Voldemort's first rise to power, before confessing his crimes to Albus Dumbledore, Severus had been ordered to study the effects and time limitations of certain potions.  The Dark Lord had wanted to find ways to increase their potency and effectiveness and Severus had happily secluded himself in his lab doing exactly that.  One of those potions had been the polyjuice potion and fortunately Snape had found a way to increase the time limitations from its original timeframe of one hour to an improved timeframe of six hours.  His breakthrough had come just before Voldemort's encounter with the Potters and Severus had decided that such a breakthrough was better off hidden from the world.  As luck would have it, the Dark Lord hadn't resumed his request upon his reanimation.  

An added bonus of fortune was that the adjustments could be made to a batch of polyjuice after the initial brewing provided that those adjustments were made within the first sixty days.  Any time after that and the additions would be ineffective as the original ingredients in the potion would have chemically stabilized into an obdurate form.      

The potion finally reached a full boil and the Snape used his wand to stir the thick gray liquid counter clockwise forty-eight times.  Satisfied with the result he wiped the sticky residue from his wand and then began a series of incantations that caused a myriad of lights to burst forth from the tip of the magical instrument and swirl in a vortex of color before descending to settle within the potion itself.  That was the one drawback to the process he had devised.  In order to ensure that the longer timeframe of the polyjuice could be maintained, a very concentrated amount of dark magic had to be infused into the base of the amended potion.  If the incantations weren't performed correctly then it rendered the entire potion useless.  Although Snape hadn't had need to utilize such magic in quite some time, he had no doubts as to the effectiveness of his ability to cast the incantations.  The downside to the process was that it left the caster depleted of energy for several hours.  Flicking his wand one last time he extinguished the flame under the cauldron and cast a spell that would allow the liquid to cool just enough so that immediate bottling was possible.  Once he had bottled the potion and cleared away the mess he returned to his chambers, slipped soundlessly under the covers, and allowed himself the luxury of holding the young woman who slept so peacefully beside him. He had two more things to do to help ensure her safety but he would need to enlist the aid of Minerva McGonagall first…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Okay, that's the last part of the tracking charm," the young witch said nervously.  "Now we just need to test it."

"Depending on the outcome of our test, we may find that our research is at an end," the potions master acknowledged placing a long squirming snake on the table in front of them. 

"But we haven't found a way to increase the time frame on the potion's effectiveness.  If it is not introduced within the reptilian system within twenty-four hours of brewing then it will not work.  I can't very well brew the potion in Emily's bedroom the night before Voldemort arrives now can I?" Hermione pointed out. 

"No you cannot and for the sake of all concerned please do not follow your Gryffindor nature and attempt such a feat," Snape replied eyeing the young woman with a stern expression.  "We can place a suspension charm on the potion.  Such a charm can remain in effect for up to ten days so it should suffice for our purpose."

"A freezing charm?" Ron asked looking at Snape in confusion.  "Won't freezing the stuff harm it somehow?"

"No Mr. Weasley, the charm won't actually freeze the potion, but will hold it in a suspended state.  There is a subtle difference.  If we were to place an actual freezing charm on the mixture then several of the more vital properties of the ingredients would be rendered useless," Snape explained trying desperately to keep the sarcasm from his voice.  

"Oh," the redheaded young man said sullenly as a dull blush crept steadily up his neck. 

"What about the method of delivery?" Harry asked.  "Will Voldemort have to drink it?"

"No, he will have to inhale it," Snape answered as his eyes locked with Hermione's.

"I was afraid you were going to say something like that," Hermione groaned.  "Any ideas as to how I can get Voldemort to inhale the potion?"   

"You are female," the potions master pointed out.

"I'm glad you noticed," the young witch interrupted with a smirk causing Ron to glance at Harry with an expression that all but pleaded to leave the room.  

"If you will let me finish _Professor_," the Slytherin continued, "you are female so it would not be amiss if you were to say… freshen your perfume from time to time?"

"Perfume?" she asked and then realization dawned on her as Snape set down an atomizer.  "So we place the potion in the perfume bottle and when I'm close enough to Voldemort I spray this on myself?"

"Precisely although I estimate that you will have to be standing within a foot and a half of the Dark Lord for the potion to be effective," Severus replied. 

"But everyone will think she's out of her mind if she sprays that stuff on herself," Ron exclaimed.  "I mean, it's perfectly awful smelling.  Who would believe its perfume? And are you certain that it won't hurt her?"

"It will only affect reptilian DNA so I'll be fine and as for the smell, we can add some fragrance to the mixture," Hermione answered quickly before Severus could reply.  "By the time we're finished it will smell like a garden."

Snape grimaced at that particular comment but said nothing.  He merely nodded his head and handed an atomizer to Hermione.  "You can transfigure that into whatever shape and color you choose," he told her and used another atomizer to spray some of the potion onto the wriggling reptile.  

"Now we wait a few moments for the potion to indoctrinate itself into the snake's system," Hermione told the young men who were watching the entire proceeding with a certain amount of awe.  "Ron, Harry, I know this is a strange favor to ask but would you mind taking the snake for a walk?"

"Take the snake for a walk?" Ron repeated incredulously.  "Now we're to play nannies to a snake?"

"Hush Ron," Harry told his friend.  "Sure Hermione, but why?"

"We need to see if the tracking spell is working," the witch replied matter-of-factly and pulled out a map of Hogwarts that reminded Harry of the marauder's map he had been given during his school years.  

"And if the snake shows up on the map and follows the same path we do then you know the tracking charm was a success" Harry said nodding his head in approval.  

"Yes, although it will take longer to see if the potion is working internally," she said.  "When do you think we'll see an indication of its health appear on the map Severus?"

"I wouldn't look for any significant changes for at least twelve hours," he told her quietly.  "Although given its diminutive size the potion should have completely broken down the reptile's vital systems within twenty-four hours at most."

"How long do you estimate it will take to work on Voldemort professor?" Harry questioned. 

"Unfortunately that will be more difficult to predict given the complexity of the Dark Lord's bodily systems, his use of magic and potions and his co-dependence on human anatomy," Snape replied thoughtfully.  "It could take as little as a few days or as long as several weeks.  However, we should be able to track the changes in his health on the map."  

A silence descended over the room as each person became lost in their own thoughts.  Finally, Harry looked over to his friend and said "Come on Ron, this snake needs some exercise." 

"I think you're right Harry," Ron answered and the two men exited the room with one reluctant snake.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

'Severus look!" Hermione exclaimed excitedly pointing to a small red dot on the map.  "It's working!"

Snape walked over to look at the slowly moving dot indicated by the charmed map and allowed himself a small smile.  His smile grew even wider when the woman next to him let out a happy exclamation, grabbed him around the neck to pull his face down to hers, and gave him a long kiss.  It was certainly an aspect of research he had never indulged in before!

"You know that this is only the first step in ascertaining whether or not the potion actually works," he told her quietly, not wanting to dampen her mood too much but not wanting to raise her hopes to a point that she would be devastated if the potion was unsuccessful.  "We still have to determine if the potion will track the reptile's health and if it will break down its bodily systems."

"Severus Snape, don't you try to ruin my enthusiasm," she said with a smile.  "It will work.  I just know it!" she announced emphatically as she returned her attention to the small dot on the map.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

While Hermione was happily staring at the map, the remaining members of the Magnificent Three were roaming the corridors of the ancient castle with one very angry snake. 

"Pssahss dsonsss fahssa," Harry hissed to the snake and it immediately quieted. 

"Was that Parseltongue?" Ron asked wide-eyed. 

"Yes," the boy-who-lived replied still uncomfortable in his knowledge of the ancient tongue.  

"Well, don't leave me guessing," his friend replied impatiently. "What did you say to it?"

"I told him to stop squirming and that we would go back to the lab soon," Harry replied and the pair walked in silence for a while longer. 

"Harry?"

"Yes Ron?"

"He really loves her doesn't he?"

"Snape?"

"Yeah"

"Yes Ron, I think he really does," Harry said quietly. 

The pair continued walking in silence for several moments before Ron spoke again.  "Harry?"

"Yes Ron?"

"She really loves him too doesn't she?"

"Yes Ron, she really does," Harry once again replied and the silence continued for a few more moments.  

"Harry?"

"Yes Ron?"

"I hope this snake is the only thing they ask us to play nanny to if you know what I mean?"

"Yes Ron, I know what you mean," answered the boy-who-lived trying not to choke on the thought of Snape's offspring running through the halls of Hogwarts.  

"Harry?"

"Yes Ron?"

"I think that I'm going to be okay with this whole Hermione/ Snape thing, you know?"

"I know Ron," Harry replied knowing in his heart that the words Ron spoke were actually the truth.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  Whew!  Okay folks, I had serious writer's block on this one so I hope it all made sense in the end.  Please feel free to leave a review and let me know what you thought of the chapter.  I have a couple of people that I would like to give credit to:

First:  The fabulous Fleable (who has several wonderful works listed here at Fanfiction.Net) has been gracious enough to do an illustration of Lucius and Snape based on the opening scene of chapter 12.  The scene is of Snape talking to Lucius via the floo network.  The link to view this particular piece of art is:  the picture can be found in the photos section under fanfiction/ miscellaneous.  Thanks Fleab!!!! (on the off-chance that FF.Net strips this link during posting, the site can be found at the Yahoo Groups and is called Pseudologica Fantastica Repository)

Second:   I keep thinking that I have seen the idea of the 'suspension spell' although I don't think it was used for potions exactly.  I think I derived the idea from Kalina's latest fanfic, Desperate Measures, which can now be found here at FF.Net.  (I highly recommend it!) However, on the off-chance that my memory is faulty (and it may be as I read a ton of fanfiction) and I have indeed inadvertently pinched the idea from someone else, please let me know and I will gladly give credit where credit is due!

My many thanks to those of you who took the time to review the last posting.  As always, your continued support is much appreciated! 

BTW: Draven Cats- Your reviews are never 'unhelpful' and it always makes me happy just to know that people are still reading along and enjoying the story! 

~Jules


	25. Chapter TwentyFive

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-Five 

The following evening proved to be the pivotal point in determining the outcome of their arduous efforts in the creation of the 'reptilian cocktail.' 

"Severus!" Hermione exclaimed running from the lab into the potions master's private chambers.  "Severus where are you?  You have to see this!"

Hearing a commotion from his study, Snape walked out of the bathroom with a wet towel flung casually over one shoulder and a mass of damp raven colored hair that dripped tiny beads of moisture down his back. He smiled when he realized the source of the disruption was the petite Gryffindor charms professor. A young woman that was obviously having a difficult time maintaining her composure as she practically jumped up and down, unable to contain her excitement. 

"Severus, it worked!" she shouted running over and throwing her arms about the half-dressed man who gazed questioningly back at her.  "The potion worked!  Come on, you have to come see!"

Reaching for his arm she began pulling him in the direction of the lab where the irrefutable evidence of the potion's success awaited.

"Hermione wait," he said raising his voice in order to be heard over her excited jabbering.  "I just finished showering and I'm not even fully dressed."

"It's just the private lab Severus," she argued with an air of impatience.  "Who's going to see you?"

"Besides you?" he answered, gently disengaging her fingers from his arm.  "Well let's see, there's always the chance of Potter or Weasley walking in or Albus…"

"Oh loosen up a little bit," she interrupted with an impish smile.  "This is more important than misplaced dignity."

"Hermione…." He lectured in a stern voice while rooting his feet to the floor, "This is not about misplaced dignity.  This is about propriety and it simply is not proper for a Hogwart's professor to gallivant throughout the dungeons in such a state."

Hermione managed to momentarily subdue her excitement as she deliberately stepped back and took in the sight of his bare torso that glistened with moisture in the dimly lit room.  "I don't know Severus," she purred seductively, slowly running the tip of her finger in an imaginary line from the base of his throat and down past his navel to fasten securely into the waistband of his trousers. "I rather like this look on you."

"Hmmm, I wouldn't mind seeing you adopt a similar look yourself," he growled pulling her close and lowering his mouth to capture her lips in a searing kiss that left her sagging against his half clad body in an almost overwhelming mixture of need and desire.  "You said you have something to show me?" he questioned, pulling back slightly with a look of challenge on his face. 

"Oh I have plenty that I would like to show you professor," she answered, mischievously responding to the unspoken challenge created by his obvious sexual innuendo. She willed her own hormones to calm down and allowed her gaze to connect with his own as a playful idea entered her mind. Licking her lips in a rather erotic gesture, she used her body to lean in close until her mouth was within mere inches of his ear before breathily whispering,  "And it all happens to be in your lab at this very moment."

Severus sighed as the young woman stepped back with a fiendish glint in her eye.  'So much for playtime,' he thought ruefully, knowing that Hermione was not about to be deterred from her mission of dragging him to the laboratory.  Placing a quick drying spell on his hair, he tossed the wet towel into the laundry hamper and walked to his closet where he selected his usual long sleeved white dress shirt and black frock coat. 'Time enough for playing later,' he told himself as he followed the excited witch to the private lab. 

"See?" she questioned while excitedly pointing to the aquarium that housed the infected snake from the previous night.  "It works!"

Snape looked from the recently deceased corpse of the snake to the young woman standing next to him and marveled at her youthful exuberance. 'What a beautiful picture she makes' he thought to himself gazing upon her flushed cheeks and victorious expression. 'Her eyes sparkle with a radiance that outshines the brightest of stars. I only hope they retain such youthful innocence after her meeting with Voldemort.'

"See? The snake's dead, the potion worked, and everything will be alright," she assured him as she made a few notes in their research journal.  

"Yes, the reptile is dead and the potion, along with the tracking spell, _appears_ to have worked," he agreed cautiously.  "However, keep in mind that this creature was comprised solely of reptilian DNA whereas Voldemort's bodily systems are comprised of both reptilian and human DNA.  Even if we continue under the assumption that everything performs to plan and you are able to infect the Dark Lord with the potion, we still have to remember that the process may take longer and may in fact, not work at all."

"That's true but these are the most promising results we have seen so far and we are just about out of time," Hermione answered, her practical nature coming forth.  "Even if we had more time, we could never guarantee that the potion would work because we can't duplicate the test subject to Voldemort's specifications.  It just isn't possible and I, for one, am going to proceed under the assumption that both our potion and our plan are going to work.  They just have to."

"Is that Gryffindor logic?" he asked with a mild sneer.

"It's whatever you want it to be," she replied with a serene smile, refusing to let go of her optimism.

"Very well then professor," he said placing the reptilian carcass in a container filled with preservation fluid for further study at a later time.  "I would say that our next step would be to inform the headmaster of our success."

Flashing an exuberant smile, Hermione turned and preceded the potions master out of the dungeons and headed for the headmaster's office.  She never saw the look of worry that crossed the wizard's face as his worst fears solidified into reality. The potion had worked and in less than forty-eight hours she would leave the safety of the castle and journey, alone and unprotected, to meet with Voldemort himself…  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Ah Severus and Hermione, we were expecting you," the headmaster acknowledged as the two professors entered his office.  Pointing to a couple of chairs, the elderly wizard motioned for them to have a seat. 

'How does he do that?' Hermione asked herself, yet again wondering how Dumbledore always seemed to know exactly when to expect someone.  Looking around the room she felt a sense of déjà vu as she saw Ron and Harry sitting in the exact same positions they had been seated in nearly two weeks ago when they first arrived at the school.  

"I sense you have some good news for us perhaps?" the headmaster said smiling in much the same way a parent might smile when confronted with the accomplishments of a much loved child. 

"Yes Albus," Snape answered leaning back a little further into his chair.  "It would seem that the latest version of the potion has been a success."

"Indeed?" Dumbledore replied as his eyes twinkled in anticipation behind the rims of his glasses.  "And would I be correct in assuming that it will be ready in time for the students' departure day after tomorrow?"

Severus glanced uneasily around the room and noticed that Harry had edged forward a little in his chair as he anxiously awaited the response to the headmaster's question.  'Unsurprising really,' the potions master thought knowing how much Hermione meant to the boy-who-lived.  He observed the Weasley boy momentarily and was surprised to see that he had focused his attention on a patch of carpet by his feet, rarely making eye contact with either Hermione or himself. 'He knows,' Snape thought to himself hoping the volatile tempered young man wouldn't create a scene before Hermione departed.  Having to worry about petty childhood grudges was the last thing she needed at this particular point in time.   

"Yes, we believe that the potion will be ready to be delivered on schedule," Snape replied quietly.  

"Excellent," Albus praised, his face a mask of pure pride.  "Perhaps we should run through the plan once more?"

Noticing the look of reluctance on her lover's face, Hermione decided to pick up the conversation from that point in an effort to give the man a moment to realign the mask of indifference he usually displayed to the world.  She knew that he still didn't approve of her insistence on being the person to deliver the potion but she truly felt it was the best option.  Sending Severus would just be too dangerous because, while the polyjuice potion effectively transformed the drinker into another person, she could not be certain that Voldemort's magic surrounding the dark mark would be masked by the properties of the polyjuice.  If they were wrong and Voldemort could sense the potion master's deception then he would be killed for certain and that was an outcome she just could not come to terms with.  Besides, aside from Snape and herself, she trusted no one else to complete such a task.  Well no one else except Harry of course but for obvious reasons that was just completely out of the question. 

"Well, the plan is quite simple really," she began, her eyes resting momentarily on each of the men assembled.  "I will impersonate Emily Saunton by means of a polyjuice potion for the duration of the Easter holidays. During that time, disguised as Emily, I will meet with Voldemort under the pretense of discussing her admittance into the Death Eater circle at the next initiation ceremony.  I have spent quite a bit of time with Emily and I feel confidant that I will be able to pass any scrutiny without too much difficulty.  At some point during the party I will get close enough to Voldemort and, under the guise of refreshing my perfume, I will use the atomizer to spray the potion on myself.  The potion is designed to attach to only one type of reptilian DNA marker that is indicative to all reptiles meaning it will not harm anyone that does not carry reptilian DNA in their genome. So if other people inhale the potion it will not harm them in any way. After I have sprayed the 'perfume' the potion will enter Voldemort's system by route of inhalation and begin working over an undetermined period of time.  I will return to Hogwart's the following day under the guise of continuing to study for my NEWTS and we will then track Voldemort's physical whereabouts and health in order to determine the best time and method of attack."

"It still sounds risky to me," Ron mumbled and frowned when Hermione shot him a venomous glare. 

"You are correct Mr. Weasley," Severus told the young man with a slightly bitter tone to his voice.  "There is any number of things that could go wrong."

Sensing the potions master's misgivings of the plan to send Hermione into danger alone, and agreeing himself, Harry decided to divert the direction of the conversation onto a more clinical path.  "I understand how you will introduce the potion into Voldemort's system but I'm not quite clear on exactly what will happen once he inhales it."

"As Hermione mentioned earlier the potion will enter the Dark Lord's system and attach to a specific reptilian DNA marker.  Over a period of time the potion will react with the marker to begin breaking down his immune system and vital organs by lowering his internal body temperature to a point just below freezing.  This in effect will shut down the reptilian systems and since his human systems are co-dependent on the reptilian ones the result should be massive system failure throughout his body," Snape replied in a tone of voice that reminded Harry of potion class lectures. 

"We've also managed to place a tracking charm into the potion that utilizes ancient magic.  In order to make it undetectable to Voldemort, we broke the charm into several smaller parts and imbedded them into the potion at key points in the brewing process. Individually these spells will do nothing but collectively they will join to track not only his whereabouts but the status of his physical health as well. The problem lies in the fact that since Voldemort has such mixed DNA, we aren't exactly certain how long the process may take," Hermione concluded looking to the potions master for silent confirmation that she had not omitted any relevant details. 

"The entire process occurred in just under twenty-four hours on the test subject," Snape remarked. "However since the subject was quite different in body mass and comprised exclusively of reptilian DNA, it is near impossible to predict appropriate timeframes with any clear degree of accuracy. We may see a significant difference in as little as three days or in as many as three weeks."

"So basically," Ron said popping a lemon drop in his mouth, "you're going to freeze He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named from the inside out?"

"Yes," Hermione and Severus answered at the same time. 

"But won't he know that something is wrong with him?" the redheaded man asked.

Snape began shaking his head in an affirmative gesture while giving the young man a small nod of approval at the question. "Yes, he will realize that something is wrong but by that time it will be too late.  His systems will have begun shutting down and he will most likely conclude that he's contracted nothing more than a virus at the onset of the symptoms."

"Professor?" Harry asked and proceeded with his question once he saw the other man's head nod indicating that he should continue. "If the potion is going to cause Voldemort to become cold then couldn't he just cast warming charms on himself?"

"Or use a blanket?" Ron chimed in. 

"No because warming charms are designed to warm the skin from the outside as would a blanket," Snape answered sending a small smirk toward Ron.  "This particular potion, to quote Mr. Weasley, 'freezes' the Dark Lord from within."

"And what exactly is the reason that you want to 'freeze' him again?" Ron asked.

"Because reptiles cannot function in freezing conditions," Hermione replied.  "Their systems slow down, their digestive functions are compromised and their immune systems become impaired.  In short, their body shuts down on itself."

"Blimey, it sounds like He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is in for a very bad time," the young man remarked after hearing Hermione's answer to his question. 

"One can only hope Mr. Weasley," the headmaster solemnly replied.  Looking over to Snape he asked, "Severus is there anything else we need to consider?"

"Emily Saunton will need to remain in hiding while Hermione is impersonating her.  Some of the children are staying at Hogwarts over the holiday and it wouldn't help our cause if one of them reported to their parents that Emily had also remained behind" Snape replied. 

"I will see to that particular matter myself," Dumbledore assured him.  "Anything else?"

"Yes, I have modified the polyjuice potion so that it only has to be ingested once every six hours as opposed to every hour," he replied and turned to face Hermione when he heard her gasp of surprise.  

"But how?" she asked in astonishment.

"It is a detailed process which I will explain to you later," he assured the young woman. 

Nodding her head in agreement, she sat there looking at him with a mixture of surprise and awe.  'Will this man never cease to amaze me?' she silently wondered. 

"Very well," the headmaster said rising from the overstuffed chair behind the massive desk.  "Severus and Hermione, please finish your final preparations.  We enact this plan on Saturday morning with the departure of the Hogwart's express."

"Yes headmaster," they both replied in unison taking their queue to leave while Ron and Harry also rose to make their exit.

Albus Dumbledore watched thoughtfully as the wizards and witch made their exit.  He shook his head tiredly and walked over to stand by Fawkes.  "What do you think my friend?" he asked the phoenix while stroking the bird's magnificent crimson colored plumage. 

Hearing a series of squawks from the bird, the old wizard slowly shook his head as if acknowledging the magical creature's opinion.  "Yes it is a very ingenious, not to mention ambitious, plan indeed.  I only hope that Professor Granger will remember to exercise the utmost of caution in her dealings with Voldemort. It would be a terrible loss to many were she to perish as a result of this mission and an inconsolable loss to one in particular."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  I realize this chapter was primarily a recap of the impending plan however, considering that the plan has been discussed in small bits over a long period of time, I felt that it would be a good idea to recap before jumping into the mission itself.  Also, I will be out of commission for a week or so while I tend to some medical problems.  I hope to keep this story updated once a week as usual but if I miss next weekend's posting please be patient.  Rest assured that I have every intention of continuing the story but it might be a week and a half or so before the next chapter comes out.  As always, thank you so much for the reviews.  They have been very helpful and they are a wonderful motivation to continue writing. 

~Jules 


	26. Chapter TwentySix

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-Six 

The following day passed in a series of events that reminded Hermione of a muggle movie.  Each event was an individual scene and at the end of the day the scenes were strung together to form a surreal motion picture. She wasn't sure she liked it at all. 

The day had begun with an early breakfast and a final meeting with Emily to review last minute details.  It was decided that Hermione would borrow Emily's wardrobe for the duration of the stay at the Saunton residence to further convince people of the validity of her new persona. In addition, she would also borrow the young Slytherin's textbooks to further the guise that she was frantically studying for her NEWT's.  It would lend credibility to her desire to return to Hogwarts before the holiday was over. 

Classes passed in a disjointed rhythm in which time would vacillate between moving at an incredibly slow rate and speeding up to a dizzying pace, all seemingly without a moment's notice.  The chestnut haired witch knew that this was nothing more than a result of nerves brought on by her impending mission but she still couldn't help think how happy she would be once all of the subterfuge had come to an end. 'However did Severus handle this for so many years?' she wondered to herself marveling at the man's courage. 

The school day ended early in anticipation of the holiday and Hermione found herself entering the lab earlier than usual to find Severus hunched over a cauldron.   

"You started without me," she said with mild dismay.  

"I needed something to do," he replied pulling her close.  "So, what fragrance would you like for your new 'perfume'?"

"Hmmm, let's see" she mused eyeing the vials of ingredients that lined the table.  "Jasmine, Freesia, Lavender, Rose…."

"Do you see one that catches your eye?" he asked quietly, not wanting to acknowledge that once the fragrance was added the potion would be complete. There would be no reason to turn back from the plan at that time and no reason for her to change her mind and let someone else continue in her place…

"Or catches my nose rather? Not really," she answered, absently running her fingers over the labels until she caught sight of an unusually shaped vial made of a deep green colored glass. "Lotus blossoms?"

"That particular type is rather rare," he said softly as he gently removed the vial from her fingers.  "Is this the scent you would like?"

"If you don't mind," she answered quietly, subdued by the fact that their time together was drawing to an end.  

"Not at all," he answered running his finger lightly along her cheek.  "It suits you."

Not knowing what else to say or how to disperse the aura of melancholy that blanketed the room, she merely answered by means of a shy smile filled with warmth and love. 'I can't imagine leaving him here to worry for so long,' she thought sadly to herself.  Her musings were interrupted when she noticed the potions master reach for a couple of other fragrances.  She watched in fascination as his long elegant fingers effortlessly manipulated the vials and added minute amounts of the lightly colored ingredients to the gently bubbling cauldron.  

"What were those?" she questioned pointing to the vials he had used.  "I thought we had decided on the Lotus Blossom fragrance?"

"Yes and it will still be the primary fragrance," he answered, "but by adding a small portion of the addition floral extracts, we can enhance and create a fragrance that is a little more exotic and unique."

"It reminds me of the Orient," she said and walked over to stand directly next to him.  Inhaling deeply she could just make out a trace of the latest ingredients. As usual he was correct. The addition of the new extracts was just enough to lend a unique quality to the potion without overpowering one's sense of smell. All in all, there was no doubt in Hermione's mind that the end product would be a fragrance that would have sold very well in the muggle world.  It was hard to believe that the vile smelling 'reptilian cocktail' was turning out to be reminiscent of an exotic floral garden.  "I like it."

"Voldemort should like it as well.  He always favored things from the Orient. He claimed the culture had a certain mystique about it that couldn't be found elsewhere. It should, at least, serve to place you in a favorable light although you will still need to tread carefully and treat him in the manner we previously discussed.  Appealing to his senses is good but appealing to his vanity is even better," Severus replied in an off-hand manner but Hermione could see the tension in his body as his posture remained perfectly straight and he stirred the potion in a stiff, almost wooden manner as opposed to his usual graceful style. 

"I'll remember," she assured him softly.  "I'll bow and be reverent and only speak when spoken to."

He turned sharply upon hearing the underlying tone of loathing and disgust in her voice.  He knew that catering to the Dark Lord would go against every one of her stringently held principles but it was something that she was going to have to do.  He just prayed that her Gryffindor nature wouldn't win out over her common sense. 

"Hermione we have already discussed the importance of this matter.  If Voldemort picks up even the slightest trace of loathing in either your voice or actions…."

"He won't," the young witch quickly assured him laying a hand on his shoulder.  "Severus, I promise you that I will play my part and act as if I'm in awe of the reptilian thug. Even if it kills me."

She had muttered the last part of the sentence more to herself than aloud however the potions master's acute hearing had easily picked up her words. "Have no doubt Hermione, he _will_ kill you if you don't" Snape replied seriously and turned to stare intently into her eyes as if by doing so he could instill the importance of his words into her heart and mind. 

Hermione's eyes widened in shock at both the seriousness of his expression and the earnestness in his voice and while she had understood the potential dangers of the mission that lay before her, she had never allowed herself to ponder the consequences of the most miniscule of mistakes.  Even the tiniest error, such as an incorrectly worded reply, an errant glance or a thoughtless gesture could not only put an immediate end to her mission but to her life as well. She found it disconcerting to realize that even though she was a powerful witch in her own right, she might prove to be little match against an even more powerful or malevolent wizard; one that wouldn't think twice before casting the killing curse and ending her life for such a trivial mistake.  She sighed silently and wondered when her life had become so melodramatic.

"Hermione?"

Startled out of her reverie, she glanced up to see Severus staring at her with an expression that conveyed a mixture of concern and apprehension.  "I'm sorry, I guess I just got lost in my thoughts for a moment.  What were you saying?"

"I asked if you wanted to forgo dinner in the Great Hall and share a quiet evening meal in my chambers instead?" he replied, his dark brow furrowing in concern.

"I would like that," she answered allowing her facial features to contort into what she hoped was a reassuring smile.  "What about the potion?"

"It will be finished in a few minutes although it will have to cool somewhat before bottling," he answered, lowering the heat on the cauldron to bring the liquid from a medium boil to a slow simmer.  "Why don't you draw a warm bath for yourself and relax for a while?  I'll see to the potion and place our dinner order with the house elves.  Would you care for anything in particular?"

"Surprise me," she said with a grin as she reached up to place a kiss on his cheek.  Taking one final look at the bubbling cauldron she exited the lab and made her way to his chambers to soak in a nice warm bubble bath…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner that evening proved to be quiet, relaxing and enjoyable, the very things both Severus and Hermione needed before her departure the following morning.  

"You do realize that Harry and Ron will be wondering where we are?" she asked the man sitting across the table from her.  

Severus took another sip of wine from his glass before returning it to the table and merely replied, "and this is supposed to concern me in what way?"

"I didn't say that you had to be concerned," she replied with a small smile.  "Just don't be too shocked if they show up on your doorstep before the evening is over."

"If they value their Gryffindor hides then I would strongly suggest they avoid doing any such thing.  I intend to have you for myself this evening," he told her in a velvety voice that sent shivers running up and down her spine.  "Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley may say their goodbyes, along with any other last minute sentiments, tomorrow in Albus' office."

"Albus' office?" she questioned, happily poking a baby carrot with her fork and sliding it into her mouth.

Severus didn't answer her question immediately as he was too busy watching Hermione slowly suck down one small carrot after another. 'Gods this woman is going to drive me mad,' he thought to himself ready to apparate the remains of their diner back to the kitchens and carry her off to the bedroom.  However he could tell that she had been surprised by his latest comment and for her, surprise usually led to inquisitiveness, which led to questions, which meant that he wouldn't get far until he satisfied that particular line of curiosity first. 

"Yes. Albus suggested that we meet together in his office before it is time for you to depart with the other students.  Emily Saunton will be summoned also under the pretense of obtaining permission to return to Hogwarts at her earliest convenience as she has the NEWT's and a critical potions essay that will be due the following week."

"What if someone sees us both leave Dumbledore's office? " Hermione asked.  "Don't you think that will cause a little bit of confusion?"

"It would cause a lot of confusion and most probably end the mission before it even had a chance to begin which is why you both will not be leaving together.  You will imbibe the polyjuice potion in Albus' office while Emily will have enough polyjuice potion to transform into a likeness of yourself."

"Transform into me?" she gasped in surprise.  "But why?  I haven't gone over any information she might need to impersonate me or…"

"Hermione calm down for a moment love," he interrupted knowing that the string of questions and concerns would continue for quite some time.  "As you know several of the students will be remaining behind during the holiday.  Some of these students might notice your absence and start asking questions and the last thing we need is Lucius Malfoy trying to track you down.  So Emily will drink the polyjuice and impersonate you long enough to noticeably exit the castle grounds with Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley who will in turn watch over her in several undisclosed locations until you are ready to return to Hogwarts.  At that time, she will once again drink the polyjuice potion and be seen returning in the company of Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley and no one will be the wiser."

"And since everyone knows that Harry and Ron are childhood friends and have been visiting with me here at Hogwarts for the past couple of weeks no one will think twice about my going on holiday with them," she said nodding her head up and down in understanding.  "It just might work."

"It had better work," Severus intoned in a voice that would accept nothing less than complete success.  "There is too much at stake for these plans not to work.   Hermione, are you absolutely sure you wouldn't rather stay here and send Weasley to impersonate Emily? He did offer."

"I know," she replied softly and reached for the sinfully delectable chocolate cake that practically beckoned to her.  "I know that Ron would do his absolute best and I know that he understands the importance of what we're doing but he does have a tendency to lose his temper every now and then and say things without thinking them through first.  I just don't think it would be right to place him in such a situation, especially if he has to impersonate a female. Besides, handling the potion may prove to be tricky if you consider the suspension charm and all."

Her voice had taken on an almost pleading quality as she relayed her fears to the potions master.  Almost as if she was begging him to understand that delivering the 'reptilian cocktail' was something she just had to do.  Of course, in his mind he had known that she wouldn't back down but his heart had fervently wished that she would at least consider the offer Weasley had hesitantly made two weeks prior in Dumbledore's office.   

"Very well if you are so insistent than I have no other choice but to support your efforts but please, do try to contain that hellish independent streak of yours and act as Edgar Saunton and Voldemort expect you to," he said sternly, automatically falling back into his classroom persona. 

"Yes Professor Snape, I promise to be an obedient little Slytherin," she said solemnly while trying desperately to hold back her laughter.

"That will be the day," he muttered finishing his dessert and discretely dabbing at his mouth with the crisp linen napkin.      

"Are you referring to my being a Slytherin or obedient by that remark?" she asked with an air of mock hurt.

"Both," he replied softly. Walking around to stand beside her, he took her hand and pulled her to a standing position before leading her over to the sofa and cradling her within the security of his arms.  

Hermione sighed in contentment and tried to push the impending mission out of her mind for a short time as she leaned back against the potion master's muscled body and willed herself to relax.  She was going to miss these moments of quiet time they shared with one another by the fire where they allowed themselves a few moments respite from the pressures of the workday and the war.  The  'reptilian cocktail' had taken up much of their time and while they hadn't been able to share these moments on a nightly basis, Hermione and Severus looked forward to them all the same and treasured them even more.

"I will miss you," she said softly, lifting her head so that she could peer into his face.  She nearly gasped as she saw the reflections of the flames flicker across his features allowing her to witness the emotions that ran momentarily unchecked through his eyes. Emotions that spoke of tenderness, apprehension, and love and could that be…yes it was… desire. She once again thanked the Gods that had brought this man into her life and prayed that all would go well with the mission so that she could once again return to his loving embrace. 'You aren't asking for much are you?' a cynical voice inside her head chided with derision. 'You just want to walk into a room full of Death Eaters, poison the Dark Lord, and walk away as if this was nothing more than an everyday occurrence.  And to top it all off you want to come running back here to lie in the arms of true love's embrace.'

She acknowledged that she might be asking for just a tad much.  After all her primary duty was to help bring Voldemort's reign of terror to a crushing standstill. 'But is it really so wrong to want all of the things that a solid relationship would bring if we actually succeed?' she wondered.  Giving herself a mental shake she decided to leave such questions for another time, preferably a time when she wasn't contemplating the fact that this might be the last night the two of them would ever share.  There were just too many things that could go wrong.  She had once heard the phrase 'live for the moment' and while she couldn't remember if she had read it in a book at one point in her life or just heard it in passing, she decided that it was sage advice that was worth following, especially tonight of all nights.  Turning her body so that she faced the dark haired man sitting behind her, she gently touched her hand to his cheek and slowly began caressing his face before lifting her own lips up to meet the soft flesh of his inviting mouth.    

Time stood still for a brief moment as their lips met, flesh on flesh, conveying their hopes and fears to one another without uttering a sound.  It was a joining of both body and mind and Severus lifted his own hand to cradle her cheek in a possessive gesture while drawing slow, sensual circles on the middle of her back with the other hand.  

Moments passed as the two lovers pushed aside the trappings of the outside world and concentrated solely on one another.  Clothes were shed, words of love were murmured, and caresses were both given and taken as their bodies began writhing faster against one another searching for the completion that would ultimately join them as one.

Never releasing his hold on her body, Severus picked the young witch up and carried her to the oversized bed all the while trailing kisses down her neck until he reached that point at the base of her throat that throbbed with an all too familiar beat.  He reveled in the fact that she wanted him just as much as he wanted her as he laid her petite body on the plush comforter, her hair fanning out beneath her reminding him of an exquisite piece of art.  

Reaching her arms out to pull him closer, Hermione marveled at their relationship.  Never before had she been with anyone and felt so complete in mind, body and soul. It was a feeling that she wanted to share with him more than anything at that particular moment in time and as she moved her body in tandem with his, their unspoken desires and messages of love were not only felt but also understood by one another.  Moments later their passion reached its pinnacle and, with their bodies joined as one, they soared to new heights crying one another's name before tumbling gently back down to earth where they spent the remainder of the night locked in the comfort of one another's embrace.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The last vestiges of the night faded away as the sun peeked around the clouds announcing the arrival of the new day.  If Hermione had thought she was nervous before then it was nothing compared to the state she now found herself in.  

"Hermione," Snape called clasping her jittery hands within his own. "Everything will be fine.  You have the potion as well as the polyjuice and you have been instructed how to act in front of the Dark Lord.  You will succeed in this as you do in all else."

"I'm just nervous," she told him with a shaky laugh.  "So much depends on getting this just right and there really isn't any margin for error.  What if I…"

"No.  You will not contemplate on 'what if' as the only thing it can do is serve to cause doubt.  You will be fine Hermione, you must believe that."

"Do you believe it?" she asked staring into dark eyes that pinned her in place. 

"I have never doubted it," Severus replied with conviction, placing a light kiss on her forehead.  

A soft knock was heard and the young witch crossed her chambers to open the door to a very solemn looking Harry Potter and a nervous looking Ron Weasley.

"Hi Hermione, Professor," Harry greeted stepping into the room.  "We're here to take you to Dumbledore's office 'Mione.  Are you ready?"

"Yes, I have everything I'll need" she told her friend.  Turning to the potions master who stood back quietly watching the scene before him she asked, "Severus, you will see to it that Crookshanks is cared for?"

"That overgrown pile of fluff will be fine," he answered with a small smirk.  Seeing her look of disbelief he softened his gaze and gently brushed a stray piece of hair from her face.  "You have my word Hermione that he will be well cared for."

"Thank you," she said softly, a small tear glistening in her eye.  "I'll see you in the headmaster's office?"

"I will collect Miss Saunton and we will meet you there shortly," he assured her.  "Now go before Potter and Weasley get the idea you've changed your mind."

"Not a chance," she answered and followed the two young men out of the room. 

A loud meow came from the kneazle as he watched the door close behind his mistress.  It was a baleful sound that somehow mirrored Snape's feelings at that particular moment.  Reaching down to scratch the ginger colored cat between the ears Severus softly reassured the cat by uttering three simple words. "She'll be fine."  He wasn't certain if he had uttered those words to reassure the cat or himself but it was a sentiment that he fervently hoped would prove to be true.  Giving the kneazle one final glance, he walked to the fireplace, tossed in some floo powder and returned to his own chambers. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thirty minutes later, Severus entered the headmaster's office with a very subdued Emily Saunton. Motioning for the young Slytherin to have a seat, the potions master gave a brief nod to Hermione and walked over to where Minerva McGonagall stood, tight-lipped and apprehensive about the entire plan.  

"Were you able to arrange for those items I requested?" Snape asked the Head of Gryffindor in a quiet voice so as not to attract attention. 

Glancing quickly at the others who were involved in their own conversation, she nodded her head briefly and surreptitiously pulled two small items out of a pocket in her robes.  "I hope these will suffice?" she questioned and Snape could hear more than a hint of anxiousness in her voice.

"These will be quite adequate thank you," he replied and pocketed the items. 

Giving the man a brief nod, the transfigurations professor moved to rejoin the group as Albus Dumbledore walked into the office. 

"Ah, I see we are all here," the headmaster said by way of greeting.  "I trust we are ready to enact our plans?"

Looking quickly to where Severus stood, dark and foreboding, Hermione turned to the headmaster and agreed that they were ready to begin. 

"Very well, if Professor Granger and Miss Saunton will follow the stairway up to my chambers, they may take the polyjuice and switch clothing," Dumbledore said.  "Ladies, please make certain that you exchange suitcases and have everything you need before returning to us."

"Yes headmaster," Hermione answered and ushered Emily up the winding staircase.

"Severus, is Miss Saunton aware of our plans for Voldemort?" Albus asked after assuring himself that the women were safely upstairs and could not overhear their conversation. 

"No Albus, we felt it was safer if Miss Saunton was not given the details of the mission.  As far as she is concerned, Hermione is going to impersonate her as a way of gaining information on Voldemort's current activities.  I also gave her the unmodified polyjuice potion, which means that Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley will have exactly one hour to exit the castle and deliver her to a safe place" Snape replied. 

"Why wouldn't you give her the other polyjuice potion?" Ron asked in confusion.

"Because Mr. Weasley, if Voldemort were to discover the existence of a longer acting polyjuice potion he wouldn't hesitate to go after the girl in hopes that she might be able to provide him with further information regarding its properties," the potions master answered.  "As Miss Saunton is unaccustomed to covert operations, I felt it was better for all concerned that she know as little as possible."

"Which means that we won't be able to discuss any of this when she's around," Harry said, agreeing with Snape's line of reasoning.   

"Very perceptive Mr. Potter," the potions master quietly replied. 

The group turned as Hermione and Emily made their way downstairs, suitcases in hand, and rejoined the group. 

"Professor Granger?" Minerva asked and was somewhat disconcerted to see the image of Emily Saunton look directly at her and shake her head in affirmation.

"And Miss Saunton?" Albus said smiling as Hermione's image also answered in acknowledgment.  

"Miss Saunton," Severus spoke up gaining the young Slytherin's attention.  "You will go with Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasley.  They will escort you away from Hogwarts and will be responsible for your safety during the next week.  We will send a message to them as soon as Professor Granger has returned from meeting with Voldemort that will give detailed instructions to follow for your return.  Please remember that while you are under the influence of the polyjuice potion you must act like Professor Granger.  Failure to do so could result in both of your lives being placed in jeopardy."

The young girl's eyes widened as she listened to the Head of Slytherin's instructions but rather than dissolve into hysterics, she simply nodded her head.  "I understand Professor Snape."

"Harry, Ron," the headmaster spoke up to gain the attention of the two young men, "I trust you are ready to depart?"

"Yes sir," both young men answered simultaneously.  

Harry walked over to where Hermione stood and gave her a long hug.  "Be careful," he whispered.  "Things just wouldn't be the same without you." 

"I will," she assured him with a shaky smile.

"Take care 'Mione," Ron said enfolding the young woman in a giant hug of his own.  "Everything will work out alright, you'll see."

"Thanks Ron," she said wiping a small tear away.  "You all be careful too and I'll see you at the end of the week."

With one final wave, Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley and a polyjuiced Emily Saunton exited the headmaster's office to make a very visible exit from the castle premises. 

"The carriages have already arrived Albus," Minerva informed him and glanced toward Hermione.  "If we are going to do this than we really need to hurry."

"Yes you are right of course," the headmaster replied.  "Severus, I believe you have a few last minute items for Professor Granger?"

"Yes," Snape answered and walked over to the young woman who was clearly confused by the headmaster's last sentence.

"Last minute items?" she asked with a small shaky laugh. 

"Minerva has been kind enough to help me with a few final safety precautions," he answered pulling two items out of his pocket.  The first item was a long cylindrical object that he placed around her neck.  

"A crystal?" she asked lifting the necklace at the base of her throat for a closer inspection. 

"Not exactly although it is designed to look like such," he answered.  Placing his wand alongside the top of the crystal he muttered an incantation.  Suddenly, a bright light shone forth from the object and the top of the crystal rotated to reveal a carefully concealed vial.  

"Is that polyjuice?" she asked in amazement.

"Very good my dear," he answered with a small smile.  "By wearing this, you assure yourself that you will always have a dose with you in case you are unable to return to your rooms before the previous dose wears off."

"Thank you," she said memorizing the incantation he used to reseal the crystal.

"There is also one more item which you will need to keep on your person at all times," he said handing her an object that was no bigger in size than a muggle dime. 

"It looks like a button from one of the student's school robes," she said examining the small object that rested between her fingers.  

"Ten points to Gryffindor," he muttered with a smirk.  "It is a portkey. One that, when used in conjunction with the proper incantation, will deliver you straight to the gates of Hogwarts.  You are to use it if the situation becomes too grave or if your actual identity is discovered."

"I will," she promised quietly, amazed that they had collaborated to such an extent to ensure her safety.  "You said there was a specific incantation that has to be used in order to activate the portkey?"

"Yes," Professor McGonagall answered.  "Severus wanted to make certain that you could carry the port key on your person at all times but he didn't want you to find yourself in a situation in which the portkey might accidentally be activated.  So, should you find yourself in faced with an immediate need to return home, touch the portkey and utter the following incantation:  Sublatio in arcem." 

Hermione placed the portkey in the pocket of her robe before repeating the incantation.  "Sublatio in arcem."

"Very good my dear," the transfigurations mistress praised the young woman who had become so much like a daughter.  "It looks as if it is time for you to go now.  Do be careful and remember that we will all be here waiting for your safe return."

"Thank you Minerva, for everything," Hermione answered giving the older woman a hug.  

"Yes, my dear," the headmaster said walking to stand directly in front of her and laid a weathered hand on her shoulder.  "Remember that, while your mission is of the utmost importance, your safety and well-being are of even more importance.  Use the knowledge that you have gained along with the items that you have been given wisely and remember that we would not have allowed you to undertake such a task if we didn't have the utmost confidence in your abilities.  Be well my dear." 

"Severus, I trust that as Miss Saunton's Head of House, you will see her to the carriages that will deliver her to the Hogwarts Express?" Albus asked not bothering to wait for a reply as he and Minerva McGonagall exited the office.   

Hermione looked at the dark haired man that stood silently staring at her.  She had so many things she wanted to say to him but now that the moment had arrived, she didn't have the faintest clue as to where to begin.  "Severus…"

"Hush," he whispered pulling her into his arms and just holding her quietly for a moment.  He knew that she needed to hurry to the carriages but he was having difficulty in letting her go, especially since there was no guarantee that she would be coming back.  Things were just too risky despite all of the training, the potions, and the safeguards.  What if he never saw her again? 

As if she could read the thoughts in his mind, Hermione pulled back slightly from his embrace and raised her hand to softly caress his cheek.  "It's going to be alright Severus.  I have all of the tools I need to make this work and I have the most important reason of all for returning home."

"You do?" he questioned, one eyebrow rising up towards his hairline. 

"Of course," she said with a small laugh.  "I have you. What better reason could there be?"

"You are incorrigible," he told her kissing her forehead lightly.  

"Perhaps but I don't think you'd have me any other way now would you?" she quipped. 

Snape pretended to give thought to her question before answering which earned him a playful slap on the arm from the charms professor.  

"I suppose not," he conceded.  "Just remember, that overgrown pile of fur you call a cat will be awfully irate if you do not return, as will the rest of us.  Please be careful and for Merlin's sake, do not attempt any Gryffindor heroics!"

"Yes professor," she answered and reached up to give him one final kiss before exiting the office.  "Just remember, I love you."

"I love you too," he whispered closing his eyes momentarily as she preceded him from the office.

The words had been quietly spoken but Hermione still heard them.  So it was a smiling 'Emily Saunton' followed by a dour potions master that people saw walking the corridors of Hogwarts.  

"I will expect your potions essay to be completed by the end of the holiday Miss Saunton," Severus said reverting back to the role of professor for the benefit of those around them. 

"Yes professor," the young woman answered and followed a group of students to the awaiting carriages.

The potions master didn't linger to watch the carriages leave the grounds as such an action would have looked suspicious.  Instead, he quickly made his way to his chambers and poured himself a large glass of whisky.  All of their months of hard work had come down to this final week.  Hermione was gone and Snape could only pray to any deities that might be listening that she would return to them in one piece.    

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Notes: 

Special thanks to Susanna/Pigwidgeon37 (who has some wonderful stories on Fanfiction.Net) for stepping in and creating the Latin incantation used in conjunction with the portkey.  "Sublatio in arcem" when translated means 'a lift to the castle.'  

Hopefully, this chapter made sense.  I am back home after having had surgery the other day but am currently on round the clock painkillers that tend to leave me tired and spaced out. VBG  As always, thank you so much to those of you who reviewed the previous chapter.  I really enjoy reading your comments and predictions and have hopefully answered some of the questions and concerns you may have had within the past two chapters. Having said all of that, please throw the author a few crumbs and be so kind as to leave a review to let me know how I'm doing.

~Jules 


	27. Chapter TwentySeven

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-Seven 

Hermione looked up from her book as she felt the familiar slowing down of the Hogwart's Express indicating that they had finally reached their destination.  Exiting the train, she looked around platform 9 ¾ in the hopes of quickly finding Emily's parents and departing the station.  There were far too many people milling about for her liking and being out in the open could give way to potential dangers and problems.  No, it was far better that she arrive at Emily's home where she only had to deal with a limited number of people in a defined setting.  

"Has it been so long since the Christmas holidays that you don't even recognize your own mum?" a stern looking woman asked.

Hermione turned quickly to see Christina Saunton staring down at her from her rather lofty 5'11" vantage point.  The woman had silvery blond hair, blue eyes and an expression that could have cracked cement. A tight-lipped look had settled on her face and she had raised one eyebrow in expectation of a response to her caustic question. All in all, she reminded Hermione of a cross between Snape and McGonagall.  'Now there's a combination I would never have imagined,' she thought holding back a nervous giggle. 

"Hello mum," she offered.  "How have you been?"

The woman looked startled for a moment causing Hermione to wonder if she had made an error in greeting but instead of saying anything, the woman's face softened as she gave her 'daughter' a loving smile and directed her toward the baggage compartment to collect her trunk.  

"We can apparate directly to the manor," Christina said eyeing her daughter up and down,  "where we can have some dinner.  You're nothing but skin and bones! Haven't they been feeding you at that school of yours?"

"Of course they have mum," Hermione assured her while trying to find a plausible excuse to explain Emily's sudden drop in weight.  'I can't exactly say something like, well mum, attempted suicide does tend to cause one to shed a few pounds,' she thought cynically.

"I'm fine mum, really I am, and the house-elves create wonderful meals but I've been so busy with studying for my NEWT's that I guess I've sort of been skipping meals from time to time."

"A practice which no young woman should allow herself to begin," Mrs. Saunton said with an air of disapproval.  "I'm sure that your upcoming meeting hasn't helped to calm your nerves either?"

Hermione looked up to study the woman before answering that double-edged question.  Did Christina Saunton suspect her of being someone other than her daughter or was she just speaking in general with regards to her upcoming meeting with Voldemort?  Seeing no signs of malice in the older woman's countenance, she opted to simply nod her head in agreement and prayed that the woman would drop that particular line of questioning. 

Reaching the apparition point, Mrs. Saunton took hold of her daughter's hand and apparated them directly to the front gates of Saunton Manor. 

Hermione had to bite back a gasp at the sight presented before her eyes.  The grounds of the manor were immaculate with colorful gardens and oversized water fountains strategically placed throughout the property.  Well-manicured shrubbery surrounded stone benches creating one of the most tranquil settings she had ever seen. Life-sized statues were intermingled throughout the landscape and seemed to silently watch over the gardens, like elegant soldiers protecting their home.  It was truly breathtaking and Hermione was already planning a visit to the gardens under the pretense of studying. 

The Manor itself was another study in taste and seemed to coexist with the grounds in perfect symbiosis.  Emily had told her that the house boasted of old money and the Slytherin had even taken the time to show her some photographs of her ancestral home.  However mere words and pictures could not even begin to do justice to the actual sight itself.  Built more than two hundred years prior, the manor was constructed primarily of gray colored stone supporting a dark, heavily thatched roof.  Custom made windows of every shape and size could be seen even from this distance and Hermione thought she had even glimpsed stained glass glinting in the sunlight from a far corner of the stately home.  The structure boasted of three, possibly four levels and there were at least a dozen chimneys protruding from various positions on the roof.  All in all, the aging home was enormous and it seemed such a shame that something so large and beautiful was inhabited and enjoyed by no one other than Emily and her parents. 

"Emily, you act as if you've never seen all of this before," her mum said with a calculated glint in her eye.  

"What?" Hermione asked dragging herself out of her thoughts, "Um well no it's not that, it's just that I've missed it.  Things have been so hectic at Hogwarts lately with classes and all of the extra studying."

"Your last letter said that you have a potions essay to complete before classes resume?" Mrs. Saunton asked.

"Yes, Professor Snape is adamant that it will be completed on time. I was sort of hoping that I might be allowed to return early, after my…meeting, to work on it," she told the older woman. 

"And what is so special about this particular potions essay that you cannot work on it here?" Mrs. Saunton inquired.

"Well, it's not that it's special so much as I need to review a couple of books in the restricted section and then brew a practical potion to make certain that my research is valid," she answered and was pleased when she noticed the other woman's posture relax ever so slightly.  "Professor Snape said that he would give me a pass to the restricted section and that I could use one of the labs since the other students wouldn't be around to expect 'special privileges'."

"Yes, that sounds like something Severus would say," the older woman agreed. "Emily, your father said that there were some…complications with Professor Snape and the Dark Lord.  Has he been alright?"

"Professor Snape?" Hermione asked confused as to why Severus' health would be of importance to Christina Saunton.  "Well, he took ill a few months ago and missed several days worth of classes but he's been fine since."

"I see," her mum said thoughtfully.  "Yes, that would have been about the right timeframe although I am glad to hear that he is alright.  Emily, I think it would be better if you do not mention your potions professor or your essay around your father.  He was very upset a while back and every time he hears Severus Snape's name he starts carrying on about traitors and whatnot."

"Yes mum," the young Slytherin agreed as they stepped into the entryway of the old stately home. 

As Hermione expected, the inside of the manor was every bit as spectacular as the outside and reflected an air of opulence that somehow managed to be both breathtaking and comforting.  Hardwood floors covered in richly woven carpets could be seen throughout the home while elegant tapestries and heavy curtains draped the walls and windows.  The furnishings were large and ornate but not so much as to be audacious and overwhelm the home itself. It was obvious that the Saunton's had both money and taste and as Hermione looked around at the artwork smiling at her from the surrounding walls, she was pleased to note that she was enveloped by a sense of warmth rather than fear.  "Of course that will change in the next few days,' she reminded herself knowing that no matter how beautiful her surroundings, they would do little to comfort her when it came time to meet with Voldemort.  

Christina Saunton called for "Mitty" an elderly house-elf that had been in service to Emily's family for many years, and ordered Emily's trunk to be taken to her room.  She then escorted her daughter to a small veranda that boasted of a small, elegantly laid table and a peaceful view of the grounds.  

"Your father is away on business this evening so I thought you might enjoy having dinner outside rather than the formality of the dining room," Mrs. Saunton said as Mitty brought in several dishes crafted of solid silver that housed an array of wonderfully aromatic foods. 

"Yes, I think that would be fine," Hermione assured the older woman and took her place at the table.  After several minutes of silence while Mitty served dinner, Hermione gathered her courage and began a conversation with the woman sitting across from her.  "Mum, you mentioned that father is away on business.  When should we expect him back?"

"Your father should be back by tomorrow evening," she replied taking a bite of salad.  "He mentioned something about needing enough time to prepare you for your meeting with the Dark Lord."

Hermione shifted a little uncomfortably upon hearing that Edgar Saunton had plans to tutor her in the proper way to behave around Voldemort.  Little did they know that Hermione had already undergone such training, courtesy of Hogwart's potions master, and didn't feel so inclined to do so again with one of the Dark Lord's most ardent followers.  "Is the meeting still scheduled for Tuesday evening?"

"Yes," Mrs. Saunton replied quietly, a shadow of sadness momentarily crossing her facial features.  "Emily, you must know that if there were any other way than I would find it but your father is insistent that we will all support the Dark Lord."

"But why does lending my support mean that I have to take on the Dark Mark?" the young girl asked sensing Christina Saunton's reluctance to hand her daughter over to such a selfish cause. 

"Your father said that the Dark Lord is looking for followers, especially from the younger generation.  By having you 'officially' accept the Dark Mark, your father gains another mark of favoritism and moves even further up the ranks of the Death Eaters."

"So this is more for father than anyone else," Hermione muttered as she bit into her salad.

"Emily Saunton!" her mum scolded, "I had better not hear you say anything of the sort around your father or anyone else young lady.  Do you have any idea what your father would do to you if he heard you saying such things?" she asked with a bit of a fearful look as Hermione simply shook her head by way of an apology.  "Well never mind.  Are you certain that nothing else is wrong dear?  You seem a little… different."

"I'm fine mum and I'm sorry it's just that I'm a little nervous about all of this. I mean think about it, what if I decide that I'm not Death Eater material mum?" Hermione asked trying to determine exactly where Emily's mum stood on such an important topic.  "Worse yet, what if He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named decides that I'm not Death Eater material?"

"You mustn't say such things Emily," her mum scolded as a look of panic momentarily crossed her pale face.  "You must convince them that you are willing to follow in your father's footsteps or they will kill you.  Your father truly believes his future lies with the Dark Lord and he will not support anything that goes against that belief.  If you were to reject his opinions then it would cast him in an unfavorable light amongst the Death Eaters and that is something he will not tolerate, from any of us."

"I just don't think I like being used as a bargaining chip," Hermione grumbled.

"None of us do darling but we just accept it and make the best of it," her mum said quietly, laying her hand over her daughter's trembling one in a gesture of understanding and support. 

"I think I'm finished now," the young woman announced pushing her plate aside.  "I think that I'll just go unpack and study a little before turning in for the evening if you don't mind?"

"Of course not darling," Mrs. Saunton agreed eyeing her daughter strangely.  "But the house-elves should have already finished unpacking your things by now."

Hermione nearly panicked at the thought of the house-elves or anyone for that matter, unpacking her bags.  First, she didn't want anyone discovering the polyjuice potion and second, she didn't want anyone discovering the 'reptilian cocktail.' Saying a swift goodnight to her 'mum' she quickly exited the veranda and made her way upstairs to her bedroom.

She didn't notice the thoughtful look on Mrs. Saunton's face as she made her hasty departure. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Luckily, Hermione had transfigured the large bottle of polyjuice into a shampoo container, which the house-elves had placed in her bathroom.  The 'reptilian cocktail' had already been placed in the perfume atomizer, still under the suspension spell, and was waiting for her along with her other accessories on her dressing table.  Fingering the small bottle, she made a promise to herself to carry her 'perfume' with her at all times.  It would not do for something to happen to the potion before her meeting with Voldemort actually took place.  She sighed wishing they had had time to make another batch of the potion but they had just been too pressed for time. It had been nothing short of a miracle that they had made the amount of progress that they had. 

She looked at her watch and noticed that it was just about time for another dose of the polyjuice potion.  Downing the foul tasting liquid, she placed the lid back on the bottle and charmed her timepiece to wake her just before she was due to imbibe the next dose.  The last thing she needed was for the house-elves to enter her room in the morning only to find Hermione Granger sleeping soundly in Emily Saunton's bed. 

Brushing her teeth and donning her nightclothes, she slipped between the cool sheets and pulled the comforter over her body.  She glanced at the nightstand to make certain that her watch and portkey were within reach and then fingered the tiny crystal container at the base of her throat.  It had been a trying day but she felt that she had managed as well as could be expected and she had found out some potentially useful information as well.  Mrs. Saunton was obviously not too keen on the idea of her daughter becoming a Death Eater and that just might work in Emily's favor in the future.  After all, it would be helpful if the girl had someone close to her to confide in if she had to go into hiding. The only problem was that Mrs. Saunton, although seemingly a determined woman, didn't appear to have the backbone to stand up to her husband on her daughter's behalf.  Hermione sighed and decided that she would save that problem for further contemplation at another time.  

Closing her eyes, she stretched her limbs across the bed missing the contact she had recently become accustomed to.  She had never minded sleeping on her own but somehow during the past couple of weeks, she had come to depend on Severus' presence and his absence filled her with an aching hollow feeling.  How had she come to depend on him so much in such a short time?  Sighing, she blew out the flickering candle and laid quietly waiting for sleep to claim her. 

Many miles away in the safety of Hogwart's dungeons, Severus Snape was having similar thoughts about a chestnut haired charms professor. However, sleep would not befriend the dark haired wizard this night and he had to once again content himself with the knowledge that worry would be his steadfast companion as it had been so many times throughout the years.  And yet, as he lay awake staring silently at the ceiling, he couldn't help but pray that the young witch whom he had come to care so much about remained safe and unharmed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The following day passed quietly for Hermione.  During breakfast, Christina Saunton had announced that she had been invited to spend the day with an old friend and that she should be back sometime after supper.  

"Will you be alright on your own today dear?" the woman asked.  "You could come with me to visit Helene.  After all, it's been quite some time since she's seen you and I know that she wouldn't mind your company in the least."

"Thanks mum but I think I'll stay here and use the time to study for the NEWT's if that's okay with you?" Hermione asked respectively hoping that Mrs. Saunton wouldn't insist on making a mother-daughter ordeal out of the day.

"No that's fine dear. I expected it so don't worry," she said smiling at her daughter.  "By the way, your father flooed last night and said he wouldn't be back until very late so don't wait up for him."

"Yes mum, have a good day," the young Slytherin called as she watched her 'mum' exit the dining room.     

Seeing that no one else was around, aside from the house-elves of course, Hermione decided that she would use her free time to take a tour of the stately manor.  Room after room was explored as the charms professor lost herself in the understated beauty of bedchambers and sitting rooms decorated in fabrics and furnishings of eras gone by.  She had just made her way into the library when Mitty popped in to tell her that it was lunchtime.  Giving the room one final, longing glance she followed the house-elf to the dining room and sat down at the massive table to have a solitary lunch before returning to the library where she spent the remainder of the afternoon exploring the unfamiliar tomes.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning proved to be a study in tongue biting for outspoken witch as she finally had the dubious honor of meeting Edgar Saunton for the first time.  He was a loud, obnoxious, arrogant little man who, in the Gryffindor's opinion, would be doing the wizarding world the greatest of favors by just keeping quiet.  Unfortunately, for both her and Mrs. Saunton, such a reprieve didn't seem to be in his plans as he regaled the women with tales of his weekend exploits with several of the newer Death Eaters.  At one point during a particularly horrifying rendition of the previous nights' dark revel, Hermione laid her spoon down and pushed her plate aside certain that she would not be able to stomach anything else.  Risking a quick glance at Christina Saunton, she was surprised to see a similar expression on the older woman's face as well.  'How do they put up with this?' she thought to herself in disgust.  'No wonder Emily is so quiet.  She never has a chance to get a word in edge-wise with that pompous, hypocritical excuse for a parent always running off at the mouth.'

"Emily… Girl answer me when I am speaking to you!" boomed Edgar Saunton's voice from across the table, abruptly pulling Hermione out of her thoughts.  "Merlin, you would think the girl has been brought up like some muggle piece of trash rather than given the benefit of a pureblooded upbringing."

"I'm sorry father, you were saying?" Hermione mumbled trying to look apologetic while inside she was seething and thinking of every possible silencing hex she could throw at the pudgy little man.

"I said that you had better show more respect tomorrow evening when you meet with the Dark Lord.  We will be hosting the party for this particular gathering as he mentioned that he was looking forward to meeting with you in particular.  Most of the inner circle will be present along with some of the newer recruits.  You had better be on your best behavior as I will not tolerate any misconduct.  Do you understand me girl?"

"Yes of course father. I understand," the young woman managed to mumble and quickly turned her attentions back toward her plate to avoid the cruel gaze of the Death Eater sitting across from her.

"I have things to attend to this morning," he announced standing up and tossing his napkin on the table. "Christina, I am sure that you have preparations to finalize for tomorrow evening's gala?"

"Yes dear, just a few" the older woman confirmed quietly.

"Good.  See that everything is perfect or you will find my mood less than pleasant" he told the woman with a calculated stare.  "Emily, you will meet me in my study after lunch where we will discuss the proper manner in which you are to conduct yourself as well as the correct method of addressing the Dark Lord."    

"Yes father," she replied but the overbearing man had already made his way to the door obviously not expecting her to do anything other than comply with his orders. 

The women sat in silence for several minutes, neither knowing quite what to say after such a display by their head of house.  Finally, Hermione stood to make her exit claiming that she needed to study for her NEWT's before her training session that afternoon.  With a final nod she exited the room and went to retrieve her textbooks with the thought of escaping outside to spend a few hours alone before her ordeal with Edgar Saunton began.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione finished her lunch and hurried to the study so as not to anger Emily's father more than she already had.  The last thing she needed was to attract any more attention than was absolutely necessary from such a person.  'And I thought Voldemort was going to be the difficult one,' she mused with a small grimace as she stepped into the room and noticed that she was not alone. 

Seated behind the mahogany desk was Edgar Saunton himself, fingers tented, leaning back with his feet firmly crossed and planted on the massive desk.  He looked, for want of a better description, like a man who thought he was supreme. Even worse, he looked like a man who was looking forward to showing her that such was the case. 

"Good you're here.  Now we can begin your training," he said pulling himself to an upright position.  "Come daughter, let us begin."

Hermione gave an involuntary shiver and risked a quick look at her surroundings.  The room was decorated in dark navy blue and forest green colors and should have projected a feeling of warmth. The massive mahogany furnishings should have only enhanced such a feeling but for some reason her petite body remained cold all the same.  She looked up to see the calculating face of Edgar Saunton watching her as a hunter watches his prey, a dead lifeless look in his eyes.  'This is definitely going to be bad,' she thought as she walked over to stand in front of the Death Eater. 

"Yes," he murmured walking slowly around her motionless body, appraising her demeanor and appearance.  "We can work with this."

Hermione wasn't certain if she should be relieved by his words or not when all of a sudden she let out a cry of pain as she felt the man's wand strike her across the back.

"Stand up straight girl," he barked.  "The Dark Lord expects nothing less than perfection and I guarantee that you will give nothing less than perfection unless you want to know what true pain really feels like."

The lesson continued with the pudgy man barking orders and instructing her in the ways of proper presentation and appropriate conversation in the Dark Lord's presence.  Edgar Saunton taught her everything from how to sit to how to bow and kiss the hand of Voldemort himself.  She was rewarded with sparse praise for that which she did correctly and physical abuse for that which she did not.  The most difficult part of the entire session, in Hermione's opinion, was learning to kneel and kiss the Dark Lord's hand.  While Severus had already taught her the proper procedure, she still had to maintain a charade of naivety around Edgar Saunton.  The man, in her opinion, took teaching to an all new low when he donned his oversized cloak and stood in front of her, arm raised and directed her to greet him as she would the Dark Lord.  

It was at this point in the lesson that she became fearful that the repulsion she currently felt might actually show in her eyes and thus give her away.  Biting down on the bile that threatened to flow forth from her mouth, she dipped her head in what she hoped was a gesture of respect and bowed before him on one knee while gently taking his hand and placing a light kiss on the cool clammy skin.  Only when she heard his murmur of approval did she dare to place his hand back at his side and stand to face him, head bowed.  It was by far one of the worst and most humiliating things she had ever had to do.  To actually have to prostrate herself before this worthless excuse of a wizard that did nothing but belittle people and harbor illusions of grandeur was just unacceptable for a witch as independent as herself.  Even Severus had found a better way to instruct her in this particular ritual and it hadn't involved humiliation and degradation. She momentarily closed her eyes and allowed her thoughts to center on the man awaiting her return to Hogwarts.  'Just a few more days…'

"That was…acceptable," the voice of Edgar Saunton said icily.  "You may go now but do not forget to practice what you have learned here today."

"Yes father," she answered and quickly made her way to the door. 

"And Emily…" the Death Eater called out in a conversational like tone of voice.

"Yes?" she answered turning back to look at the man whose face had taken on a sadistic expression. 

"Just one more thing…. Crucio!" he said calmly as if he were merely ordering a house-elf to bring him a cup of tea rather than casting an unforgiveable on his only offspring.  

"Remember this pain child for if you fail me in even so much as the smallest of ways tomorrow evening, I promise you that this will be mild in comparison to the vengeance I enact upon you.  Do you understand girl?" He took the young girl's gasps and writhing as affirmation of his question. Giving her a light kick in the middle of her back, he chuckled evilly, uttered a quick 'Finite Incantatem' and exited the room.    

Hermione lay twitching on the carpet, her body tucked into a fetal position as she allowed the last vestiges of pain to complete its journey through her body. She felt as if thousands of pins and needles had been pushed into her spinal column and as if someone had placed her hand in an electrical outlet. Every nerve ending in her body cried for release from the torture that she had been subjected to and there was nothing that could be done but to ride the tidal wave of pain and pray it finished its ghastly romp through her system quickly. 'Why in the hell did I ever suggest this?' she wondered as her body jerked and spasmed uncontrollably. 'And how am I going to make it through tomorrow evening?'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The young witch had just finished taking another hot shower in the hopes of washing away some of the residual aches and pains brought on by the Cruciatus.  She had managed to drag herself up to her room earlier that afternoon and cast several healing charms that would counter the bruising and some of the pain from Edgar Saunton's more physical methods of teaching but the aftereffects of the Cruciatus still lingered.  She could only hope such effects would be gone by the following afternoon.  Taking her scheduled dose of polyjuice, she changed into her nightclothes and had just managed to carefully slide her aching body between the sheets of her bed when she heard a soft knock at her door.  Looking towards the door in an apprehensive manner, Hermione quietly acknowledged the knock and was surprised to see Christina Saunton enter the room.  

Giving her daughter a small smile she quickly pulled out her wand and cast both locking and silencing charms on the room and then turned to stare at the younger woman as if she were trying to solve an incredibly difficult puzzle.  

"Are you feeling better now Emily?" the woman asked in a voice that wasn't unkind. 

"Yes mum although I think I could go awhile without have the Cruciatus cast on me again," she joked. 

"Yes it is a rather nasty curse," the older woman agreed with a sympathetic smile leaving Hermione with no doubts that she had not been the only person to ever suffer at Edgar Saunton's hands. "In that case then, I was hoping that I might ask you a question before you turn in for the evening?"

"Of course, what did you want to know?" the Gryffindor replied wondering what could be so important that Christina Saunton felt the need to place wards on the room.

"I was simply wondering: Who are you?" the woman asked in a deceptively calm tone of voice. 

"Ex..excuse me?" Hermione stuttered, feeling the blood drain from her face. 

"It's a simple question really," the woman answered taking her wand out of her sleeve and pointing it directly at the young witch. "I _know_ that you aren't my daughter so I'll ask you one last time...  _WHO ARE YOU_?"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Notes:  Okay, that's two chapters in 3 days folks and it is my hope to have the next chapter out be the end of the week. Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  

Luna Writer:  I don't think I've ever been threatened in such a way and I'm sorry that you are frustrated by the pace of this story but the last chapter did have information in it that is relevant to the remainder of the story.  Hopefully, this chapter has helped and you won't feel the need to come charging at me with the bloodied, double bladed battle-axe!  (*smile*)

~Jules 


	28. Chapter TwentyEight

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-Eight 

Hermione's body went perfectly still as her mind processed the words that were coming out of Christina Saunton's aristocratic lips. Her gaze darted to the nightstand where the portkey lay waiting to be used in case of a dire emergency.  'Well,' she thought to herself as fear pumped adrenaline through her body faster and faster, 'I would call this an emergency but I seriously doubt I could reach it and utter the incantation before the woman could use her wand and hex me, or worse turn me over to Emily's father.'  She briefly thought about making a mad dash for her own wand which was tucked securely in her trunk but again, the woman had too much of an advantage since her wand was already poised and ready to cast a number of disabling spells at the first hint of the slightest movement. 

"What makes you think I'm someone else mum?" she questioned shakily trying to engage Emily's mother in conversation until she could either think of a plausible lie or make her way to the portkey that shined in the candlelight. 

The older woman gave her a sort of twisted smile and took a few steps backwards to make herself comfortable on an overstuffed armchair.  "Well let's see," she mused, training her wand on the frightened young woman. "First, there's the fact that while you definitely look like my daughter, you don't have the same attitude.  You see, Emily is quite afraid of her father and she tends to answer in very clipped sentences and she avoids eye contact at all costs.  Not that she would have noticed these things mind you but a mother does over a period of time.  Second, my daughter tends to develop a slight tremor whenever she is in her father's presence.  You have not displayed any such signs since you arrived from Hogwarts."

"Perhaps I've learned to be a little stronger willed this last term," Hermione offered hesitantly knowing that the grim faced woman sitting across from her wasn't going to believe such an excuse for a moment.

"Perhaps," Christina laughed, "but somehow I don't think so.  There's also the matter of you turning down a chance to visit Helene the other day in favor of studying for the NEWT's.  Now, don't misunderstand me my dear, my daughter takes her studies quite seriously but she would never deny herself a chance to visit with Helene Winslow.  Not even if she were in jeopardy of failing her NEWT's."

"I see," Hermione replied quietly, realizing that she wouldn't be able to play the woman's suspicions off as an unfortunate misunderstanding. "If you truly don't believe I'm your daughter then why haven't you hexed me or called your husband or the Ministry?"

"Because I want to know who you are," the woman declared icily.  "Did Lucius Malfoy send you here to spy on us? What were you supposed to do, see if we were really loyal to the Dark Lord by the extent of our willingness to sacrifice our daughter to the cause? Where is my daughter by the way?  You must have done something to her so that you could take her place without worrying that she might walk in and give you away."

Hermione stared at the woman in absolute shock.  Whatever she had been expecting it hadn't been this.  "You think I'm in league with the Death Eaters?"

"Aren't you?" she asked, her eyes narrowing too little more than slits.

"No!" Hermione replied vehemently jumping up in dismay.

"Sit back down!" Christina Saunton shouted pointing her wand directly at the younger woman as if she feared Hermione was making an attempt to either attack or escape.  

Hermione stopped and realized what the woman must be thinking and slowly returned to her seat.  "I'm not working for Voldemort," she replied quietly, ignoring the way the older woman's eyes widened when she spoke the Dark Lord's name.  "I'm a friend of your daughter's and I'm just trying to buy her a little more time so that she can finish the school year."

"When you say 'buy her a little more time' what exactly do you mean?" the woman asked suspiciously, although Hermione noticed that she had relaxed her grip on her wand ever so slightly.

"Your daughter has been talking with her Head of House, Severus Snape, for some time now," Hermione replied hoping that she might be able to calm the woman down by allying with her mothering instincts.  "It seems that she has been worried, for quite a while, about her family's expectations for her future.  In short Mrs. Saunton, Emily does not want to take the Dark Mark and join the Death Eaters. She was so adamantly against it that she recently attempted, and very nearly succeeded, in committing suicide although Professor Snape and I arrived in the nick of time and thanks to the combined efforts of Professor Snape and Poppy Pomfrey, she will be all right.  However, Emily is under the impression that if she failed to show up for this meeting or refuses to accept the Dark Lord's mark that she will be killed by either your husband or on Voldemort's order.  A fact of which Sev… Professor Snape assures me that will indeed come to pass unless an alternate solution can be found. Hence my presence and current deception until we can come up with a plausible excuse at the time of her graduation."

"So you and Severus Snape are helping my daughter?" she asked, her eyes softening a little at the thought.  "If that is the case then who are you and where is my daughter?"

Hermione sighed.  She really was disclosing much more than she was comfortable with but if she was reading the situation correctly then she really had little choice.  She just hoped her instincts were right about this woman.  "My name is Hermione Granger and your daughter is currently being safe-guarded by a couple of acquaintances until I return."  

"Hermione Granger?" Christina repeated, slowly drawing out the syllables as if she were trying to remember something of importance.  Suddenly she looked over at Hermione, "You're the charms professor right?"

"That's right," the Gryffindor replied with a small smile.  "Emily is in my Advanced Charms class.  She's quite gifted."

"Yes, she is," the girl's mother agreed with a proud smile and lowered her wand to rest on the arm of her chair.  "Did she really attempt to take her own life over this business with the Dark Lord or is that something you just made up to gain my sympathy?"

"I'm sorry Mrs. Saunton but it really is the truth.  We nearly lost Emily two weeks ago and if it wasn't for the note she left in her friends' book bag we never would have found her in time.  As it is, we nearly failed," Hermione said quietly shaking her head to try and rid herself of the memories of that horrible evening.

"Why couldn't she have said something to me? Why wasn't I notified of something so important?" the woman sighed shakily.  "I would have done what I could had I known that it had come to that…"

"It was decided that telling her parents would have caused more problems.  After all, had we told you of Emily's suicide attempt then we would have had to disclose her reasoning behind such an attempt and then your husband would have found out that she didn't want to go through with his plans for her. And I'm sorry but in all honesty Mrs. Saunton, would her coming forth and telling you of her fears have solved anything?" Hermione asked gently.  "Would you have been able to change any of this?"

"No, but I could have at least tried to talk with her, tried to guide her and make things easier," Christina said sadly. "You said that she is being cared for until your return?"

"That's right," Hermione agreed, "We had to make certain that no one saw her at the school while I was here so she left Hogwarts impersonating me."

"Which left you free to impersonate her," Christina Saunton said smiling a decidedly Slytherin smile that reminded Hermione momentarily of Severus. "How do I know that you're telling me the truth?"

"Well, I guess you don't really.  Aside from contacting Albus or Severus, there isn't really any other proof that I can offer and if you contact them then it could give away everything leaving then both Emily and myself in danger" Hermione answered honestly hoping that the woman would be willing to take a chance that her story was true. Aside from the personal danger to both herself and Emily Saunton, she still needed to deliver the 'reptilian cocktail' to Voldemort or everything they had labored for would be for nothing.  Looking directly at the woman who was still thoughtfully regarding her, she asked, "If you don't mind me asking Mrs. Saunton, what do you intend to do now that you know I'm not your daughter?"

"It seems to me that there isn't much I can do to you right now.  You said yourself that Emily's return to Hogwarts is pending your own return and while I don't think Albus Dumbledore would allow a child to be harmed, I would still have more bargaining power by holding your secret over your head.  After all, you've only had a small glimpse this afternoon of what my husband is actually capable of."

"Don't remind me," Hermione grumbled causing the older woman to laugh.  

"Just keep in mind that I will be watching you and if anything looks suspicious then I will have no qualms in disclosing your real identity. By the way, Edgar said that Severus was a traitor to Voldemort.  I'm assuming that's true?" Mrs. Saunton asked casually although Hermione could see the spark of interest in the woman's eyes. 

Hermione considered her answer cautiously, not wanting to release too much information in case Emily's mother decided to turn her over to the Death Eaters after all. "I take it you know Professor Snape?"

"Oh yes, although when I met him he wasn't 'Professor Snape'.  He was a fifth year student at Hogwarts, just two years younger than myself.  He was always very quiet, studied a lot and kept to himself mostly.  I honestly believe that the library was his favorite place in the school next to the potions lab of course," she said laughing at some long forgotten memory that danced through her mind.  

"Were the two of you close?" Hermione asked wondering exactly what this woman's relationship to Hogwart's potions master had been.  'Getting a little jealous?' a voice whispered inside her head.  'Afraid there was someone more important in his life than you at one time or another?' Shaking her head to rid herself of the annoying persistence of her subconscious, she flashed a small smile at the other woman. 

"Hmmm… were we close?" Christina mused thoughtfully recognizing the subtle signs of jealousy emanating from the younger woman.  "Well, yes and no.  I dare say we weren't as close as the two of you most likely are but he was always a good friend.  A friend that was responsible for getting me through seventh year potions and the NEWT's, or at least the potions part of the NEWT's."

"Oh," Hermione said digesting this new information before realizing what the other woman had implied.  "Oh, we're not… I mean…"

"It's okay dear," the other woman said walking over to sit beside her on the rumpled bed linens.  "I'm glad that Severus has found someone after all this time.  I had begun to think, over the years, that such a thing just wasn't meant to be but I can tell from the look in your eyes when you speak about him that you do care.  Hang on to that dear," she said patting the Gryffindor's hand, "it's worth more than you can imagine."

"Mrs. Saunton, about the gathering tomorrow evening… what should I expect?" she asked giving voice to the question that had been plaguing her most.  "I mean, will we go straight to dinner followed by conversation and then everyone goes home or will it be more involved than that?"

"You really are new to this aren't you?" Christina Saunton questioned with something akin to wonder in her voice.  "Well, first there will be the usual socializing where everyone stands around drinking and talking and summing everyone else up in relations to their own positions and aspirations.  After that we will move into the dining area where we will all sit down and partake of this ghastly meal that will consist of all of the usual pomp and circumstance and will be comprised of more courses and servings than anyone could ever possibly hope to finish.  Of course everyone will be metaphorically using their cutlery to stab one another in the back mind you, only it will be raised to a more elegant and refined level of artifice.  Then, once we have all stuffed ourselves like muggle cattle, we will adjourn to the ballroom for dancing and drinking before finally deciding that we have all backstabbed, prodded and planted ideas against one another sufficiently for the evening and call it a night.  There will not be a dark revel so you needn't concern yourself with that.  However, as my daughter, or perhaps I should say as Edgar's daughter, you will be expected to socialize with the inner circle of Death Eaters and you will be expected to converse with the Dark Lord himself at some point in time.  I guess you could call it a sort of pre-initiation interview.  I wouldn't expect anything too grandiose mind you but he will probably pull you aside sometime during the dance. You must remember to be respectful and seemingly awed by his presence or there will be more trouble than I can help you with."

"It sounds… stressful," Hermione sighed wishing there had been a less direct way of gaining access to Voldemort but knowing that such a wish was pointless.  The only direct point of contact with the Dark Lord that the Order had been able to establish since his resurrection had been through Severus and now that his direct participation was no longer an option, drastic measures were required.  The Gryffindor witch wished she were a little more Slytherin when it came to all of the cloak and dagger antics this particular scheme required her to participate in.  Lying had never been her strong suit, a fact that could readily be attested to considering that one person had already discovered her true identity.  When you stopped to calculate that she had only met two people and a few house-elves since coming to Saunton Manor, Hermione figured that her track record was not exactly what one might term a roaring success. 

"Mrs. Saunton," Hermione asked hesitantly, "what if your husband notices the same things you did and realizes that I'm not Emily? All of this will have been for nothing."

Christina Saunton allowed a rather unladylike snort to escape her mouth and gave a rather sad nod of her head as she addressed Hermione's concerns.  "I'm afraid that's not likely my dear.  You see, Edgar has never really taken an interest in Emily until now and even that is only for the purpose of presenting her to Voldemort and furthering his own desires.  Perhaps if she had been a boy… but that is only a supposition or perhaps wishful thinking on my part. The truth is that he probably wouldn't have cared any more or less regardless of Emily's gender.  Suffice it to say that Edgar will not notice anything amiss as long as you continue to play the part of the obedient offspring."

"How sad," Hermione commented, sympathizing with the young Slytherin who had recently tried to take her own life.   

"Yes," she agreed.  "I have tried to make up for the lack of interest on her father's behalf but there is only so much I can do considering Edgar's ambitions for himself and our family."

"Considering that Emily has always spoken of you with a certain measure of admiration, I would have to guess that she understands," Hermione replied and then stopped as another thought entered her mind. "Mrs. Saunton, will I be able to return to Hogwarts the following day? After the dinner party?" the young girl questioned.

"Yes, I will apparate back to the school with you rather than sending you back on the train," the woman told her and continued when she saw Hermione starting to protest.  "No, you have asked that I trust you with something that could potentially cost both me and my daughter's life.  I have allowed you to continue this deception but I will return to Hogwarts with you and speak with the Headmaster.  No one else needs to know about our little arrangement but I want to see my daughter with my own eyes.  After I have spoken with Dumbledore about his future plans for Emily and am certain that she has returned to the castle safe and unharmed, I will return home with your secret intact. Agreed?"

"Agreed," Hermione said holding out her hand to seal their deal.  "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to help Emily.  I know that we have an ulterior motive in trying to obtain information for the Order but your daughter's safety really is our primary concern."

"Professor Granger, if I didn't believe that then I would have turned you over to my husband and we wouldn't be having this conversation," the woman said softly. Walking to the door she released the wards.  Opening the door, she stepped into the long hallway and paused as she gracefully turned around and gave the woman a quick wink.  "Get a good night's rest Emily," she said loud enough for anyone in the vicinity to hear. "You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow child and you'll want to be at your best for your meeting with the Dark Lord."

"Yes mum.  Goodnight," Hermione called, her voice drifting into the hallway to be heard by the older woman just as she was pulling the door shut. 

Straightening the coverlet, the young woman retrieved her wand from her trunk, cast a few wards on the door and slid between the sheets and reached for the portkey.  Turning the small button over in her hands she marveled at how such a tiny object could have made such a very big difference had Christina Saunton decided to hand her over to the Death Eaters.  That was of course, had she been able to reach it and actually make her escape before the woman hexed her into infinity.  'Well that's certainly not going to happen again,' she thought chiding herself for not following Severus' instructions and keeping the magical item on her person at all times.  'Just like I didn't listen and stay close to Minerva in Hogsmeade' she thought sadly, wondering if the time would ever come when she didn't feel like she was out of her depth when it came to games of stratagem and intrigue.   

Placing the portkey in the pocket of her nightclothes, she hid her wand in her pillowcase and leaned over to gently blow out the candle that softly flickered on the nightstand. Laying down she tried to clear her mind of the doubts and fears that raced through it by thinking of her own friends and family and of one dark haired man in particular that was awaiting her return to an oversized castle with drafty dungeons. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

'Why do people in this lifestyle always have to wear black?' Hermione thought to herself as she surveyed the black velvet dress robes that had been laid out for her.  'Severus always wears black, although he's one person that can really pull it off. Lucius Malfoy has always been attired in black, at least the few times I've seen him. And Voldemort… well, who knows what the Dark Lord wears but considering that the Death Eater's robes are black then it's probably a safe guess to say that his preferred choice of colors runs along the same lines. Why can't they ever wear any other colors, something more cheerful like blue or purple?' she thought donning the elegant dress robes and laughing at the notion of Death Eaters decked out in 'cheerful' robes and masks.  Her current line of thinking was a testament to just how nervous she actually was.

Looking in the mirror she assessed herself critically.  It was still a very strange sensation to look into a mirror and see someone else's face staring back at you and although Hermione had been impersonating Emily Saunton for the past four days, she still felt as if she were caught up in some strange sort of dream.  The only problem was that she wouldn't wake up from that dream unless she managed to play her part perfectly this evening.  What if Voldemort could sense that she wasn't who she pretended to be?

Sighing, she took a deep breath and gathered her Gryffindor courage as she reached for her wand and uttered a simple spell that reduced the size of the wand to an eighth of its original size.  Taking the tiny wand that was now no larger than a toothpick; she tucked it into the side of her shoe and smiled.  As an underage witch, Emily Saunton was not allowed to use magic while away from Hogwarts and therefore had no need of her wand this evening.  However, as an imposter who didn't know what the evening might hold, Hermione Granger would be damned if she was going to walk into a room full of Death Eaters without some semblance of protection.  Hearing a knock on the door, she dropped the portkey and the perfume bottle containing the 'reptilian cocktail' into her pocket and nervously made her way to the door.

"Good evening Emily," Mrs. Saunton said taking in her daughter's appearance and giving her a small hug for encouragement.  "Are you ready to greet our guests?"

"Yes mum," she answered with a small smile and stepped into the hallway to follow the older woman down the stairs and into the main foyer where the guests were already arriving.  

'Smile Hermione… no Emily,' she told herself nervously as she passed by the daunting figure of Lucius Malfoy.  She nearly laughed when a familiar phrase floated through her mind.  'Mental that one, I tell you…' Ron used to say when she would nervously start speaking to herself.  Oh how she wished they were all here with her now!

"Darling," Mrs. Saunton said, breaking into her wayward thoughts, "I'm sure you remember Mr. and Mrs. Goyle?"

Hermione looked up expecting to see Goyle Sr. and was astonished to see Gregory Goyle instead. "Um, of course" she answered nodding politely while trying to maintain a serious expression befitting of a young woman who was about to be tentatively accepted into the band of Death Eaters which were milling around.  'Someone actually married him?' she thought to herself trying to keep the look of incredulity from showing on her face. Taking a closer look at the rather large, pug faced woman that stood quietly next to Goyle, Hermione shuddered while thinking that the two did resemble one another somewhat and sent out her unspoken apologies in advance to any children that might result from such a union. 'Dumber than bricks and uglier than fence posts,' she thought to herself in a mean spirited fashion only to console herself with the knowledge that her thoughts were probably more accurate than anyone would care to admit.   

Hermione continued to greet new arrivals while standing next to Mrs. Saunton the entire time.  She was pleased to note that the woman was guiding her through the introductions and conversations in a myriad of ways and felt much more relaxed by the time dinner was announced.

Seated next to her 'mother' and Mrs. Jansen, a woman that not only profusely sweated but whom Hermione was certain didn't know the difference between perfume and a brewery, she found herself quietly eating and making small talk only when the occasion called for it.  Everything was running fairly smoothly and she had only half listened to the conversations around her when she picked up a string of words from Lucius Malfoy that caught her attention.

"Of course, with the Dark Lord placing me in charge of uncovering the identities of spies within our ranks, I've had far less time for the more…shall we say…pleasurable aspects of our jobs," the fair haired man said suavely and gave a practiced laugh along with his counterparts.

"Speaking of bringing in the traitors Malfoy," a loud voice rang out from toward the end of the long dining table, "I've noticed that you have yet to bring Severus before us."

More laughing ensued as Lucius elegantly picked up his glass of wine and made a display of calmly taking a sip before delicately placing the glass back down on the table and giving a forced smile.  "Ah yes, Severus, my dear old misguided friend.  I'm certain that we would all delight in Severus' company one last time McNair but alas, these things do take time."

"You said that your last stunt would have him coming to you of his own volition.  Something about using a mudblood against him?" McNair asked and the round of laughter ensued once again.

"Yes, it was the perfect plan but sadly, these things do not always go as we would like," he said suavely.

"Do tell Lucius," Barry Grandle's voice called out. "We could use a good story before the Dark Lord arrives in a little while." 

Amidst the murmurs and applause, Lucius held up his hands as if he were graciously bestowing his audience with a magnanimous gift and everyone fell silent.

"Well, I conceived the plan after someone told me that our dear friend Severus had developed an interest in a mudblood named Hermione Granger. After several attempts to taunt him with my knowledge of his ill-conceived affair and having no success at drawing our misguided brother out from behind the robes of that doddering old fool of a headmaster, I decided to take a more direct line of action. Action that resulted in an attack on Granger's parents," Lucius said and paused for dramatic effect as several of the Death Eaters began mumbling and applauding the dark wizard's tactics.

Meanwhile Christina Saunton surreptitiously glanced at her 'daughter' to see an expression of anger flit through her eyes. Knowing how much this must be costing the young woman, she quickly lowered her hand from the table to clasp Hermione's in a quiet, unseen show of support.    

Fortunately, that small gesture was enough to catch Hermione's attention and refocus her thoughts on her mission. Giving her 'mother' a small nod to indicate that she was okay, she quietly returned her attention to the conversation keeping a hold on Christina Saunton's hand as a means of grounding herself in the present and her keeping her temper in check.

"Sadly no, I was unable to get my hands on the mudblood during the funeral as had been my intentions seeing that she was too heavily guarded by Potter and his fellow Aurors.  So I settled for the next best thing and decided to make it appear as if I had captured the mudblood," Lucius snickered and continued telling the story of the polyjuice and the pensieve.

"And yet Snape still remains, alive and well, at Hogwarts," McNair reminded the group with a tone of voice that clearly spoke of disgust at the present situation.

"How right you are McNair," Malfoy said shaking his head in a contrived manner. "He was supposed to view the contents of the pensieve and come raging over to Malfoy Manor to confront me in a fit of rage and despair but sadly, and much to my surprise, that did not happen.  I guess he didn't care for the mudblood as much as I had been lead to believe after all, eh?"

At that, the laughter once again erupted and it was all Hermione could do to hold back from pulling her wand out and hexing them all. 'If Malfoy only knew how close he came to having his wish granted that night,' she thought to herself remembering the potions master's still form as she and Albus walked into his quarters and discovered the poison.  A tight squeeze of her hand by Christina Saunton kept her ire in check and she merely plastered a smile to her face.  

"Yes, my loyal servant," a voice hissed from the entryway. "A miscalculation that I am sure you will remedy shortly."

"My Lord," Lucius said in surprise as he turned his head to take in the figure of Voldemort standing before them.

All at once the sounds of chairs being moved by witches and wizards alike could be heard as the assembled guests hurried to rise and kneel before the scaled creature, which stood before them. 

Voldemort swept through the room, his red eyes surveying the scene before him with a sense of demonic pride as he spied the hunched forms of his followers.  He inhaled noisily through the slits on his face that acted as nostrils and basked in the smell of fear that permeated the room. 

"It seems that I have missed some interesting dinner conversation," the Dark Lord hissed as he seated himself in the vacant chair at the end of the table and motioned for everyone else to follow his lead and return to their seats. "How fortunate that I have arrived before the final course so that I might… visit with my loyal followers."

The remainder of the meal continued in a somewhat more subdued tone while Voldemort asked questions and listened attentively to the responses he received.  Hermione was quite surprised by his congenial attitude as he made small talk with the wives and older children of some of the Death Eaters that had not or had yet to take the dark mark. She had truly never expected such charm from someone who was responsible for so much devastation and despair.  It was truly a puzzling concept for the logically minded Gryffindor witch.

Dinner ended and the ensemble casually made their way to the ballroom.  As Hermione considered her surroundings, she was once again struck by the understated elegance of Saunton Manor.  Similar to other rooms in the Manor, the ballroom was spacious and adorned with golden fixtures that gleamed in the light of hundreds of flickering candles placed strategically throughout the room.  The walls were adorned with portraits and canvases of various ages whose inhabitants seemed to enjoy watching the gala surrounding them.  

As was expected of her, Hermione danced and made small talk with many of the guests throughout the evening as she waited nervously for her 'appointment' with Voldemort.  It was towards midnight when Christina Saunton approached her and quietly warned her that the Dark Lord had intentions of speaking with the young woman within the next few minutes.  Removing the 'reptilian cocktail' from her purse she clasped it in one hand and began to cast her gaze around looking for the current whereabouts of the Dark Lord.  A task that was hindered by the vast number of people in the expansive, but definitely overcrowded, room.  

Slowly making her way towards the outskirts of the ballroom Hermione gasped as a portly, drunken man, staggered into her from behind causing her petite body to lurch forward and fall face down on the floor.  Picking herself up and angrily biting back a cutting retort that would have even made Severus blush, she clenched her hands to realize that the small perfume atomizer was no longer within her grasp.  Quickly casting her gaze around the immediate area, she nearly cried out in anguish at the sight that greeted her.

Lying on the floor just a few inches from where she stood was the shattered remnants of the transfigured perfume bottle.  The 'reptilian cocktail' was now nothing more than a small fragrant puddle on the elegantly decorated dance floor.            

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  So there you have it folks.  Christina is a good guy…or is she??? (Mwa ha ha ha).  Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I must say that I was positively floored (and gratified) by your feedback on the last one. It's always nice to know that people are still reading along G Please leave a review on your way out and as always, I'll do my best to have the next chapter posted within a week's time.  

~Jules  


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Twenty-Nine 

Hermione felt the sting of tears welling up from behind her eyes as she gazed at the shards of glass that had once housed the 'reptilian cocktail'.  It had truly been their most promising chance of bringing Voldemort to his knees and now it was nothing more than a puddle of lost dreams, a heavenly scented reminder of what might have been.  Months of hard work gone within mere seconds as was the years of hope entrusted into both her care and her ability to successfully deliver the potion.  The same hope that was extended to the potion's ability to complete the task it was designed for.  How was she going to return to Hogwarts and look her friends and colleagues in the face after such a catastrophe?  'Why didn't I think to place an unbreakable spell on the bottle?' she wondered and cursed the 20/20 vision which hindsight had bequeathed to her.

Sighing, she crouched down and extended her hand to retrieve the bits of broken glass and let out a cry of surprise when she noticed a pale, scaly hand mirror her movements.  Allowing her eyes to skim across the heavily robed limb she nearly let out a terrified shriek as she looked up and came face-to-face with a set of vibrant red eyes. It was a set of eyes that belonged to none other than Voldemort himself. 

The Dark Lord stared intently at the frightened young woman crouched next to him and returned his attention to the broken perfume bottle splayed out on the floor.  Moving his hand over the remnants of the 'reptilian cocktail' he smiled and allowed two of his scaled fingers to gently play in the fragrant liquid before raising them to the snakelike slits on his face that passed as nostrils. He inhaled deeply of the chemical goop that now coated the tips of his fingers and a small smile played about his thin lips as he detected the scent of lotus blossom mingled with a few other fragrances that he couldn't quite identify.  

Hermione was captivated by the Dark Lord's enigmatic gaze and sat transfixed as she waited with baited breath to see what his next move would be. Thanking every deity she could remember, the young woman fought the urge to exhale loudly in both amazement and relief.  Voldemort had somehow, in a really twisted turn of events, managed to save the day by inhaling the 'reptilian cocktail' of his own accord.  The Gryffindor witch could do nothing but sit transfixed as she held her breath to see if there would be any signs of change within the Dark Lord's countenance.  Theoretically, the potion would take several hours, if not days, before it began to unravel the DNA structures of his reptilian genome.  'What if he can tell that the perfume is a cover for something more sinister? What if it wasn't enough to fully infect him?' she wondered, watching his reactions closely. They had assumed that one decent sized blast of the atomizer would be enough to infect the creature sitting next to her so wouldn't it stand to reason that direct inhalation would serve the same purpose?  Her mind was reeling from the possibilities and as she sat there taking in the scene playing out before her very eyes, she found herself fighting the urge to laugh aloud at the sheer irony of it all.  

'I guess, in a very twisted way, the potion actually succeeded in bringing the Dark Lord to his knees,' she thought ironically as she nervously eyed the creature kneeling next to her. For a moment they sat in silence each lamenting the loss of the bottle's contents albeit for entirely different reasons.

Hermione was so relieved at the potion's delivery that she had momentarily forgotten she was still impersonating Emily Saunton.  Realizing that not only her life but also the life of the young Slytherin still rested on an accurate portrayal, she quickly lowered her eyes and took on the persona of a young girl in awe by the overwhelming presence of the Dark Lord.  

"My L…Lord," she stammered and quickly lowered her head in a submissive gesture. "It is an honor to finally make your acquaintance."

Voldemort looked at the young woman who was now kneeling in front of him.  He had been unobtrusively observing Edgar Saunton's daughter for the better part of the evening and had actually been on his way to speak with the girl when he saw her knocked down by that drunken idiot of a follower.  The look in his eyes grew colder if such a thing were even possible and he leisurely took out his wand and pointed it at the inebriated man.  Opening his mouth with a slight hiss, he casually uttered an incantation that bathed the ballroom in a greenish light.  For a moment Hermione was reminded of a muggle dance club with rotating colored lights that played over the dancers as they wiggled and gyrated to ear-splitting music. 

"Avada Kedavra," the serpent hissed casually and slowly replaced his wand inside his robes.  A hush fell over the room as the guests watched the man gasp and fall to the floor never to draw breath again.  There were cheers from a few of the more blood thirsty Death Eaters and hushed words amongst their companions.  Voldemort slowly looked around the room with a vicious smile as he took in their reactions.  

"Lucius," he called and the blond haired wizard quickly made his way to stand at his master's side.  "Have this removed," he commanded, waving his hand toward the dead Death Eater.

"Of course my Lord," Malfoy acknowledged and quickly called two men to his side who lifted the heavy weight of the lifeless carcass and exited the ballroom, the dead man's shoes dragging softly against the ground.   

"There is no excuse for bad manners amongst our ranks and that was quite simply no way to treat a lady," the Dark Lord said imperiously to his second in command, referring to the drunken man's clumsy behavior.  "Really Lucius, if we are to be successful in overthrowing that simple minded Dumbledore and announcing my supremacy to the world then we really should be inducting members with at least a modicum of common sense and intelligence.  Perhaps you should make it one of your priorities to scour the ranks of my Death Eaters, my faithful servant.  Those with less than average intelligence will be placed on the front lines of our first major attack.  That way, should Hogwarts resistance prove stronger than we anticipated, we won't have lost all that much."

"Yes my lord," Lucius replied with a minute nod of his head.

"And now if you will excuse me, I believe I have an appointment with a young lady," Voldemort said eyeing the witch who had returned her attention toward something else, seemingly oblivious to those around her. 

Focusing his attention once again on the blond haired girl that had picked herself up off the floor he followed her gaze as it was directed downwards to a small pooling of liquid interspersed with glass shards.  'Perfume of some type,' he thought to himself and watched curiously as her eyes widened and housed despair when her gaze fell upon the shattered bottle.  'It must have been a gift from an admirer for her to be so upset.' With these observations and opinions in tact, the Dark Lord saw his opportunity to step in and introduce himself.  Of course he could have gone for the all-out regal effect that he used on most of his Death Eaters but something told him that this girl was different.  Loyal… yes.  Edgar Saunton would have already seen to that.  However he knew after having watched this child for the better part of the evening that this girl could not be placed in the same category as so many of his other recruits.  Devices such as fear and intimidation would not glean the desired effects from this particular girl who showed signs of intelligence and a quiet strength that could benefit his aspirations if molded correctly.  And if there was one thing Voldemort prided himself on it was being able to judge an individual's character within minutes of the initial introduction.  He would not have lured so many wizards and witches to his side over the years had that not been the case. 

"It would seem that you have excellent taste in perfume my dear," the Dark Lord softly hissed while dipping his fingers into the fragrant mixture and gently dabbing some of the spilled liquid behind each of Hermione's ears.  "A gift perhaps?"

Hermione allowed her head to dip and a small blush to creep across her skin as she quietly replied, "Yes my Lord. The perfume was an original fragrance created especially for me by a friend at school." 

"Your friend obviously has exquisite taste," he replied suavely and Hermione had the distinct impression that Voldemort wasn't referring so much to the smell of the perfume as he was to her.

'Merlin's toenails,' she thought to herself and wondered if the evening could become any stranger.  'Is Voldemort actually flirting with me?'  Deciding to play along and see where this conversation was heading, she allowed herself to flash a demure smile.

"Your father tells me that you are ready to join my ranks?" he asked while he removed his wand from his robes and waved it over the glass shards of the bottle causing them to disappear into nothingness.

"Yes my Lord," Hermione answered respectively. "Although it is my understanding that the initiation ceremony will not be held until early this summer. Directly after the school year has ended?"  

"That is correct," he agreed affably watching the girl's face and gauging her expressions.  "And tell me Emily, are you looking forward to your initiation?"

"Yes, my Lord," she dutifully answered.  'Not in this lifetime,' her inner voice muttered expressing the words in silence that she was not allowed to say in public.   

"I sense there is something else though?" Voldemort asked tipping her chin upwards with his finger in an effort to better see her facial features in the dim lighting.

"It's just that after everything father has told me, I guess that I'm a little afraid of not living up to your expectations," she said hesitantly, knowing that the Dark Lord had sensed something from her previous reply. "But then, I guess that I shouldn't really be saying that."

"Nonsense my dear," he answered with a gleeful smile, seeing an opportunity to draw her allegiance to him.  "It is my hope that you will come to trust me and feel that you can confide anything and everything to me.  After all, I do consider us all to be family."

'I wonder which branch of the family the other man came from?' she thought to herself with a mental smirk, remembering the drunken Death Eater that had lost his life only moments before.  Thankfully the Dark Lord was unable to read her thoughts so she offered a happy little smile and seriously thanked him for his comments while assuring him that she would also like to think that such a feat was possible.

After a few more minutes of polite conversation, in which Hermione unfortunately didn't learn anything of consequence that might help the Order in their efforts, Voldemort politely excused himself and took his leave of her.  But not, she grimaced, before having the audacity to gently raise her hand to his lips and impart a chaste kiss against the soft flesh of her skin.  Her body baulked at the force she had to use in order to restrain the bile that threatened to overwhelm her.

Looking around the room she noticed that many of the guests had exited the ballroom so she ventured to the main entryway in an effort to find Christina Saunton.  Seeing the older woman standing near the door, she walked over and whispered quietly into the woman's ear.  Mrs. Saunton took a long hard look at her 'daughter' and slowly nodded after making a visual sweep of the remaining guests who were growing fewer by the minute.  Murmuring her apologies to the tired looking woman she had been speaking with, Christina gently took Hermione by the arm and escorted her up the stairs to the haven of her room.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Well?" the older woman asked after looking around the room and casting silencing and locking spells to ensure that they were not overheard or interrupted.  "Did everything go alright? Do you think that Emily will be safe for a while longer?"

"Yes," she assured the nervous looking mother with a smile that spoke of exhaustion.  "I don't think he suspected anything out of the ordinary."

"And did you find the information you were looking for?" she asked, shrewdly eyeing the Gryffindor witch.

Hermione pondered her question for a moment while pretending to reflect on the things she had heard earlier that evening.  She had decided not to tell the woman about the 'reptilian cocktail' for several reasons.  First, what if Christina Saunton wasn't what she appeared to be? What if she couldn't be trusted and turned her over to the Death Eaters before she left for Hogwarts? Second, what if she unintentionally let the information slip to the wrong people? Would such a mistake give Voldemort time to devise an antidote?  So far, an antidote hadn't been created but that didn't mean that such a thing wasn't possible.  Unlikely yes. Impossible no.  She sighed and turned her attention to the woman who was closely watching her.  "I learned a few things but nothing that will help in any great capacity.  For example, the Dark Lord confirmed that the initiation ceremony would take place directly after the school year comes to an end and while that's helpful, it's not really going to turn the tables in our favor, so to speak."

The woman narrowed her eyes for a brief moment upon hearing Hermione's answer as if she sensed there was something more but thankfully didn't push any further. Walking over to the young witch, Christina gently placed her arms around her shoulders and pulled her close into a motherly hug.  "Thank you," she told the astonished girl who timidly returned the gesture.  "Thank you for helping my daughter tonight.  It was a brave thing you did, facing the Dark Lord, and I just wanted you to know that it is appreciated."

"You're welcome," Hermione replied softly and then bid the woman a good night as she disarmed the wards and exited the room.

Hermione turned back to stare in the mirror in front of her and simply stared at her reflection.  She would never get used to seeing someone else's face stare back at her and hopefully, if all went well, she wouldn't have to after tomorrow.  The Gryffindor sighed as she thought about the evening.  She had been horrified at seeing the casual way in which Voldemort had cast the killing curse on the intoxicated Death Eater and while she had wanted to hex the man herself, she certainly never would have entertained the notion of killing him for his actions.  'Severus was right when he said this was a completely different way of life,' she thought sadly, vowing that she would continue to do anything in her power to help Emily from falling into such circumstances.  

'At least the potion was delivered to He-Who-Doesn't-Seem-To-Suspect-That-He's-Been-Poisoned' she thought with a small sigh of relief.  Of course that wasn't really a result of any miraculous feat on her part considering that she had not only allowed the bottle to escape her possession but to also be irrevocably damaged in the process.  Oh how she wished she could see Voldemort's face if he ever figured it all out! And how she would love to tell him of the part Severus' played in his downfall!

She automatically performed her nighttime rituals as she allowed her thoughts free reign.  She had had to use the small vial of polyjuice earlier that evening and she lovingly caressed the now hollow crystal that hung loosely around her neck.  Once again, Severus had been correct in his assumptions that she might need to imbibe the potion during the party and escaping to the guest bathroom had been much more convenient, not to mention plausible, than trying to explain the sudden need to rush to her rooms.   She cast her wards on the door and set her alarm so that it would wake her fifteen minutes before the next dose of polyjuice was to be taken and laid her head down, hoping sleep would come quickly but instinctively knowing that it would not.  Her fingers encountered the tiny portkey and she smiled yet again.  So far she hadn't had to use the magical item.  'Sublatio in arcem' she thought to herself and smiled at the meaning behind the words.  "A lift to the castle," she murmured softly wishing that she could utter the incantation and return to Hogwarts and the safety it provided. She sighed as she rolled over and snuggled a little further under the covers.  One more night, such a short amount of time but so much that could still go wrong.  

"One more night Severus," she murmured and closed her eyes willing sleep to once again stake its claim. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  I must send out a special note of thanks to one of my reviewers who mentioned the concept of the 'unbreakable' spell while reviewing the last posting.  So…my many thanks to Aeryn Alexander.  I hope you don't mind that I snagged the concept from your review but I truly liked the spell G Also, I went back and cleaned up some of the previous chapters (Spelling, grammar, etc) however the content remains the same.  Please leave a review and let me know what you think of the chapter/story/etc.

~Jules


	30. Chapter Thirty

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Thirty 

Hermione awoke to sunlight streaming through her window.  That of course wouldn't have been a big deal except that this particular ray of light had stubbornly settled directly in her eyes.  "Argh," she groaned, rolling over and pulling the pillow over her face and dolefully wishing for nothing more than just to sleep in and be left alone.  'Alone?' she thought hazily before sitting straight up in the bed.  'I don't have to be alone anymore.  I can go home today!'

Tossing the covers aside, she enthusiastically leaped out of the bed and began hurriedly dressing, determined to make the remainder of her stay with the Saunton's as short as possible.  It's not that she was overly afraid of them and Emily's mother had turned out to be a great asset but Hermione had decided that her days of impersonating others was definitely coming to an end.  If she wanted to live someone else's life than it would just have to be done via the pages of a good book.  

Pulling Emily's trunk out of the closet, she hastily packed her belongings.  Clothing and books rapidly disappeared into the depths of the costly leather baggage.  "I've forgotten something," she muttered and walked into the bathroom to take one final look around when her gaze fell on the bottle of polyjuice potion that was still disguised as a shampoo bottle.  'That's all I need," she thought derisively.  'Let someone get a hold of that and this entire masquerade would be over before I could say Quidditch.' Grabbing the bottle, she tossed it into the trunk and closed the lid before reducing the piece of luggage. With one final look around the cheery bedroom she picked up the trunk and quickly tucked it into the oversized pocket of her robes.  'I should be back at Hogwarts before I'll need another dose,' she thought to herself remembering that her last dose of polyjuice had been imbibed a mere two hours prior to waking up. 

Entering the dining room she noticed that the house-elves had already prepared breakfast. Wonderful aromas filled the air and as her nostrils inhaled the scent of bacon, eggs and various other traditional breakfast fares, her stomach began to make indiscriminate noises in a not so subtle attempt to let her know that it was hungry. 'Yes I know. Food was invented for a reason' she silently told her demanding stomach as she pulled out a chair and took her seat at the dining table. While dinner the previous evening had been more than plentiful, Hermione had been quite nervous and had barely touched a fraction of the food that had been placed before her.  Now that Voldemort and the rest of his merry Death Eaters had left, she could concentrate on eating a normal sized breakfast.  

"Good morning dear," Mrs. Saunton greeted at the appearance of her 'daughter' into the room.  "I trust you slept well?"

"Yes mum," she answered, giving the woman a small smile.  "I suppose I was a little more tired than I realized," she said to both Mr. and Mrs. Saunton in an effort to apologize for her late arrival. 

"Don't worry about it," her mother said waving her hand in a dismissive gesture.  "You had a big evening last night with meeting the Dark Lord and all of our guests.  I would expect that you would be somewhat tired considering how long the festivities lasted.  Besides, had you not made an appearance soon then I would have awakened you.  After all, we need to get you back to Hogwarts today so that you may finish that report for class."

"Back to Hogwarts?" Edgar Saunton asked in surprise.  "Why would she be returning to Hogwarts so soon?"

Internal alarm bells began ringing inside the Gryffindor's head as she listened to Edgar Saunton's words.  Somehow the alarm bells of a four-alarm fire seemed fitting as her temper blazed into life. 'Don't tell me he's going to decide to play the doting father and want to spend quality time together NOW!' a voice inside her head shouted angrily.  

She didn't get any further with her internal monologue when Mitty cautiously crept into the dining room and placed a small package next to the fuming witch.  "What's this?" she asked the house-elf in surprise.

"Mitty is not knowing what is in the box Miss Emily," the elf stuttered nervously.  "An owl was just delivering the package to the Manor and Miss Emily's name was written on it.  Mitty is not looking in Miss Emily's personal business.  Mitty is a good house-elf and she is not putting her nose where it doesn't belong."

"Thank you Mitty," Hermione replied to the elf and watched in consternation while the little creature hurriedly made her way out of the room. 'Will these elves ever lighten up?' she wondered.  Turning her attention back to the package she looked for any signs as to the identity of the sender.  No markings other than her name appeared on the box and the handwriting was not one that she was familiar with.  That of course cancelled out the possibility that it could be from one of her friends at Hogwarts as she was familiar with the potions master's broad script, Dumbledore's elegant writing, and both Harry and Ron's scribbling that barely met the definition of the word.  

Looking over to Christina Saunton she delicately shrugged her shoulders, silently letting the woman know that she didn't have a clue as to what might lay inside the small box.  Reaching to pull off the paper and end the great mystery, Hermione was surprised when Mrs. Saunton's hand covered her own in an effort to still her movements. 

"Careful Emily," the woman admonished quietly.  "You don't know who might have sent it."  And with those words, the woman whipped out her wand and cast a few spells over the plainly wrapped box.  Nodding her head at the results of her incantations, she placed her wand back in her pocket.  "You may continue now dear.  The package seems safe enough."

Hermione eyed the parcel a little warily and pulled the paper off to reveal a small box covered in deep green velvet.  Lifting the lid, she gasped as she inspected the contents of the unexpected package.  Nestled inside the folds of fabric that lined the box was one of the most exquisite perfume bottles she had ever seen.  The glass looked to be hand blown and most probably an antique.  The coloring was one of the deepest colors of jade she had ever seen and small serpents were etched into the pattern to form a perfect, unbroken circle. The rim and lid of the bottle were made from what looked to be platinum and the atomizer itself was covered in the finest strands of silk that matched the coloring of the bottle to perfection.  

"Oh" she gasped, gently lifting the bottle from its bed of fabric. "It's absolutely exquisite!"

"Indeed it is," Mrs. Saunton agreed with a small frown.  "Who sent it?"

I don't know.  I didn't see a… Oh wait, here's a card," she said noticing a small folded piece of parchment lying on the table.  "It must have fallen out when I pulled the paper off."

Hermione opened the note and almost recoiled in horror.  Luckily, memory won out over instinct and she managed to turn her outcry into something that resembled a gasp of surprise rather than the loathing that it actually was.  Her role as Emily Saunton did not leave room for such mistakes.  

"Well?" Christina and Edgar Saunton demanded expectantly.  

"Um, here" Hermione answered, handing the note to the older woman.

Christina read the words that were delicately scripted onto the parchment and her eyebrows nearly rose to her hairline, so surprised was she by the content. Wrenching her gaze from the note, she looked over to her 'daughter' and stared in astonishment.

"Well woman," Mr. Saunton bellowed at his wife, "What does it say?"

"I don't believe it," she sputtered, her voice losing a bit of its customary refined tones. Shaking her head as if trying to make sense of everything, she simply laid the note on the table for her husband to see. 

Edgar Saunton shook his head in irritation and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like 'bloody dramatic women' but leaned over to read the parchment that was spread out before him.

_My Dearest Emily,_

_This is but a mere token to express my delight in our conversation last evening.  Naturally, this can be nothing more than a poor substitute to that which you held dear and have now lost. However it is my hope that you will still find favor in such a small gesture and consider it fondly. I look forward to your impending initiation._

_Lord Voldemort_

Emily's father picked the note up and turned it over as if expecting to see something else written on the parchment.  Silence blanketed the room as its occupants awaited his reaction.  Casting a shrewd glance at his daughter, he held her gaze momentarily before finally allowing his face to relax in a large smile.  It was the only time Hermione had seen the man smile and she wasn't certain if she should prepare for the worst or not.  Merlin knew she didn't want to have to endure another 'friendly' bout of Crucio again.

"It seems that you listened after all girl," the man cackled in his booming voice.  "A gift from the Dark Lord himself.  I don't think I've ever heard of such a thing!"

"It is unprecedented," Mrs. Saunton agreed cautiously. "Well Edgar, our daughter has obviously ingratiated herself with the Dark Lord far more than we could have hoped for and now I would say that it is time for her to return to Hogwarts so that she can concentrate on her studies.  She only has a little over a month left before graduation and I'm certain that you want her to perform well on her NEWT's."

"NEWT's," the man grumbled.  "Bloody pain in the arse is all this testing.  The girl already has her future planned so what does it matter?  She will join the Dark Lord's ranks and find some wealthy pureblooded wizard to settle down with.  What more could she want?"

Hermione nearly choked on her eggs as she listened to Edgar Saunton recite his expectations for Emily's future.  'Of all the egotistical, self-serving bastards,' she thought in disgust wondering why Christina Saunton stayed with such a callous, overbearing oaf of a wizard.

"Now dear," Mrs. Saunton began in a placating tone of voice, "I know that Emily's future is pretty well set however you wouldn't want your associates thinking that you raised a child of inferior intelligence now would you?  And if the Dark Lord has taken some sort of interest in Emily then you would not want to give him any reason to find her wanting in any way. Is that not so?"

"Hmmm, I suppose not" he agreed thoughtfully.  "Very well, put the little piece of baggage on the Hogwart's Express and let her return to that sorry excuse for a school.  What with all the mindless mudbloods and half bloods walking around that bloody castle, it's no wonder that she's one of the top students in her class.  However, if you think it's that important she return early then so be it."

Upon hearing those particular words, Hermione sat her fork down on the table and willed herself to stay calm.  'Mudbloods, half bloods, sorry excuse for a school?' she thought angrily.  'What a bigoted, prejudiced, sorry excuse for a human being! Emily is fortunate to be attending such a fine educational institution as Hogwarts and if I have my way, she won't be returning to the pathetic excuse of a subservient life you have in mind for her you narrow-minded, snake-faced bastard! Oh I have a mind to hex you to Hell and believe me there would be no bringing you back!'

Her musings of retaliation were cut short by a firm hand being placed on her shoulder.  "I knew you would understand dear," Mrs. Saunton soothed her husband and at the same time subtly increased the pressure on Hermione's shoulder ever so slightly, sending an unspoken message to the young woman to remain calm.  "However, I thought that it would be a nice treat for Emily if she and I were to apparate into Hogsmeade and do a little shopping first.  She hasn't had any new dress robes in a while and we wouldn't want it to be said that we send our daughter off to school looking like some poor relation now would we? After we are finished with our shopping then I will take her to Hogwarts and apparate back here to the Manor."

"You're going to Hogsmeade?" he asked irritably.

"Of course dear.  Oh… did you want to come with us?" she questioned with an innocent smile.

"Me? Shopping with you two? You'd probably have me spending all day in some blasted women's lingerie shop!" he grumbled and shoved another bite of food into his already overstuffed mouth.  "No, you two go by yourselves but I expect you back by early evening.  The Barton's mentioned something about stopping by this evening for drinks."

"I will be back no later than five o'clock if that is agreeable to you?" she replied.

"Fine," he spat and Hermione nearly recoiled in disgust as a half chewed piece of egg shot from his mouth to land on the morning edition of the Daily Prophet. Wiping the food off with an impatient gesture, he picked up the wizarding newspaper and promptly began reading.  It was a clear indication that he was finished conversing with the women.

"Come dear," she told her 'daughter' as she ushered the young woman out of the dining room.  "We have things to do."

Hermione allowed herself to be led out of the room while she thought over the exchange she had just witnessed between Emily's parents.  Christina Saunton obviously controlled her husband more than most people would believe and certainly more than Edgar Saunton would ever admit to. Considering the man's arrogance, he probably would never imagine that such a thing were possible, especially by a mere woman. 'Merlin,' she thought as she enlarged her trunk and placed Voldemort's unexpected and unwelcome gift inside, 'are all Death Eater families this manipulative?'

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Half an hour later, mother and 'daughter' found themselves walking along the streets of Hogsmeade.  As much as Hermione hated the foul taste of the polyjuice potion, she had to admit that it did allow her the luxury of roaming freely through the wizarding town. A luxury she hadn't enjoyed in quite a while. To think that she was able to do so now, courtesy of a Death Eater's wife and impending initiate, was nothing short of ironic. 

"I was hoping that you would indulge me for a while so that I might pick up a few things for Emily," Christina said quietly, casting a cautious glance around to be certain that no one could overhear their conversation. 

"Of course," Hermione agreed readily even though she truly hated clothes shopping.  There was just something so tedious about trying on one outfit after another. "I'm certain that she would enjoy that considering everything that she's been through lately."

"Yes," the woman agreed sadly.  "I still can't believe that she tried to take her own life."

"She honestly felt there was no other way.  Hopefully we can figure out some sort of solution to all of this by the time she graduates," the charms professor said looking longingly into the window of Flourish and Blotts as they passed by.

"Let's hope that we can," Mrs. Saunton agreed, coming to a full halt as they reached the shop of Madame Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.  

Nearly two hours later the women emerged from the witch's shop, their arms laden with bags of clothing that not only consisted of dress robes for the upcoming graduation dance but several casual robes as well.  New shoes, jewelry and make-up completed their purchases.  The duo had just stopped in front Honeydukes, the local sweets shop, and was absorbed in the display when Mrs. Saunton let out a quiet cry of surprise.  

"Hermione," she whispered and a trace of panic could be heard in her voice.  "Do you have brown eyes?"

"What?" the witch asked in confusion.

"Hurry up and answer the question. Are your eyes normally brown?" she said frantically.

"Well yes but why?" the Gryffindor asked, wondering if too much shopping might have contributed to the woman's strange behavior.  'Merlin knows it has done nothing for mine' she thought sourly.

"I think the polyjuice potion is wearing off.  Your eyes are now brown.  Emily's eyes are blue," she whispered.

"Oh no!" Hermione whispered back, her eyes wide with fear as she thought about all of the people milling around the crowded street and the pending threat of exposure. "The potion is in my trunk which is reduced in my pocket. I didn't think we would be here long enough for me to need another dose."

"That's not the only problem we have," the older woman informed her and pointed to the display window. Hermione looked into the window's reflection and was aghast to see the haughty form of Lucius Malfoy walking toward them.   

"Oh Merlin no!" she whispered, her voice now as frantic as Christina Saunton's. "If he sees me I'm as good as dead."

"Believe me when I say that you will be in good company because I doubt that he would show mercy and spare either Emily or myself," the woman muttered.  "Hurry and go into Honeydukes.  Run to the bathroom, take your potion and then buy several types of sweets.  I'll pretend to be surprised by his presence and make your excuses. Go!"

Hermione didn't have to be told twice and without a backwards glance, she rushed into the shop to carry out the other woman's plan. 

"Christina, what an unexpected surprise," a cultured voice sounded directly behind her.

Turning around to face the owner of the voice, she gave a smile that could be described as nothing less than a perfect combination of surprise and coyness wrapped up into one deceitfully Slytherin greeting. "Why Lucius, what a surprise indeed.  Unexpected but hopefully not unpleasant?" she purred, holding out her hand for the familiar kiss with which Malfoy Sr. usually bestowed upon the wives of his associates. 

"How could it be anything other than pleasant?" he replied, his lips lingering just a moment to long against the soft flesh of her hand. Allowing her hand to slip casually from his vice-like grip, he raised one side of his mouth just enough to form a confident smile that made the woman's skin crawl.  "Was that your daughter I saw with you?"

"What?" she laughed lightly, playing the girl's presence off as if it was of no importance.  "Why yes it was.  I thought that I'd treat Emily to an impromptu shopping spree before returning her to Hogwarts."

"Return to Hogwarts? But I was under the impression that she would remain with you for the entire holiday?"

"Usually she would," Mrs. Saunton agreed politely, "however she has been terribly distressed over her NEWT's and while her father and I are confident that she'll have no problems passing them, she seems determined to think otherwise."

"I see," Malfoy Sr. said with a polite smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. 

"Of course she also mentioned something about an essay she has to have completed for her first day back.  I think it was in potions… or did she say charms?" the woman asked as if debating what her 'daughter' had told her.  "No, I'm sure she said potions because she mentioned something about her potion's professor allowing her access to the restricted section to complete her research."

Christina looked up at Lucius with a polite but controlled smile on her face and was secretly delighted to see his facial muscles momentarily twitch and harden into a mask of distaste and loathing as he heard the words 'potions' and 'potions professor'. Obviously Snape had done something to really anger Voldemort's second in command and while treason would be something that he wouldn't look favorably on, she had a feeling that the reason for his dislike of the dark haired Slytherin went much deeper than the information to which she had thus far been privy to.  She momentarily wondered if the source of that anger might have something to do with Hermione Granger however she quickly dismissed that idea.  Lucius Malfoy was definitely one of the most ardent believers of pureblood supremacy that the wizarding world had ever spawned and though the thought of a relationship between a pureblooded wizard and a muggle born witch would disturb him, it wouldn't cause that particular reaction in a man who made a point of presenting such a nonchalant façade to the world.  

"Yes, well we wouldn't want her to fail in her assignments now would we?" he said stiffly. "Ah here is the object of our discussion now. Good morning Emily. How did you enjoy your visit with our Lord last evening?"

Hermione's hands were filled with several brightly colored sweets bags covered in animated advertisements of wizards and witches happily waving at the world while enjoying a multitude of Honeyduke's sweets. As a result, the young witch was spared the necessity of shaking the wizard's hand.  She nearly laughed aloud as an older muggle tune suddenly popped into her mind. 'He's a cold hearted snake. Look into his eyes….'  

'How fitting,' she thought looking at the fair-haired wizard standing before her. The man practically oozed oil from every pore of his body. 'He's a regular walking oil slick. I bet he'd have a heart attack if he had so much as an inkling as to who I really am!'    

Deciding that it was in her best interest to answer his question she bowed her head slightly and allowed herself to give, what she hoped to be, an enthusiastic smile.  "I enjoyed our visit very much Mr. Malfoy.  The Dark Lord was most charming."

"Charming?" he questioned, obviously surprised by her choice of words.  Most people would neither want nor dare to describe the Dark Lord in such a manner!

"Yes sir," she agreed and prayed that she wouldn't be struck dead from telling such bold-faced lies. "He was very polite and gracious and his gift was so thoughtful.  Not to mention a complete surprise." 

"Gift?" he asked looking to Christina Saunton for clarification.  'Whatever is the child babbling about now?' he wondered as his innate dislike of children threatened to break free. 'The Dark Lord does not give gifts, unless you consider an unforeseen bout of Crucio as such.'

"Yes," Mrs. Saunton answered a bit smugly.  "It seems that Emily had a bottle of perfume with her last evening that was unfortunately broken during her time in the ballroom.  Our Lord was thoughtful enough to replace it with one of the most exquisite perfume bottles I have ever had the privilege of seeing. It was filled with a most unusual fragrance also.  Quite exotic wasn't it Emily?"

"Yes mum, as if it came directly from the Orient itself," Hermione agreed.

"I see," Lucius said, although it was obvious to both women that he clearly did not.  "Well, I'm afraid that I have several matters that require my attention so I will take my leave of you. Good luck with your studies Emily." And with that he quickly turned from the women and walked off in the opposite direction wondering what the Dark Lord was up to this time.

"Do you think he saw me before I took the polyjuice again?" Hermione asked anxiously once he was out of earshot.

"No," Christina answered quietly, mindful to keep their conversation from being overheard. "And I'm certain that I derailed whatever thoughts he may have had when I mentioned that you needed to return to Hogwarts to complete a potions essay."

"Oh yes, I'm sure he absolutely loved that!" she laughed.  "Considering how he feels about Severus."

"Yes and speaking of Severus," Christina said slyly, seeing her opportunity to ask questions, "Why is Lucius Malfoy so angry with him?  And please don't insult my intelligence by saying it's because he betrayed the Dark Lord.  I know there's more to the situation than that and I would also be willing to bet that it goes deeper than a dislike for you as well."

"You mean because I'm a muggle born?" Hermione asked although it was more a statement than a question.

"Yes," she answered and then stopped to look at the young woman, a small speck of compassion showing in her eyes.  "I don't hold your heritage against you," she said softly and laid a hand on Hermione's shoulder in a gesture of support.  "You may be a muggle born but you've done more to assist my daughter than anyone else has ever thought of, purebloods included, and for that you've earned not only my thanks but also my respect."

Hermione looked at the older woman for a moment and fought back the tears that threatened to fall.  While Christina Saunton wasn't as openly prejudiced as her husband and some of the other purebloods within Voldemort's ranks, it was painfully obvious that she still held stock in the traditional beliefs.  For her to make such comments was truly a compliment.  A compliment that the young muggle born witch would long remember.

"Thank you," she replied and then considered the other woman's question. "I can't tell you too much about the situation between Malfoy and Severus as it really isn't my story to tell.  I can tell you that Lucius Malfoy blames Severus for the death of his son and as a result has basically vowed to destroy him by any means necessary.  That's why he attacked my parents and that's why he polyjuiced some poor girl to look like me.  As you heard at the party, he tortured the girl and sent the pensieve to Severus in the hopes that it would anger him enough to confront Malfoy."

  
"A definite trap," Christina muttered. "Why didn't it work?"

"That's Severus' story to tell Mrs. Saunton so you would have to ask him.  Suffice it to say, I'm just thankful that he didn't apparate to Malfoy Manor or he might not be with us now," she said and a visible shudder wracked her body as she thought about that night. 

"Speaking of apparition," the older woman replied, knowing that she would not obtain any more information from the young woman standing before her. "Let's get you back to Hogwarts before any more unexpected surprises happen today. Thank goodness Emily passed her apparition test over the Christmas holidays.  It would have been awful for you to go through all of this only to have me splinch us as in the end."

Hermione merely gave a nervous laugh and nodded her head in agreement even though she was fairly certain that the woman was joking. Christina Saunton just didn't strike her as the type of person that would do anything poorly, whether it was casting a spell or joint apparition. Seconds later, emptiness occupied the space where the two witches had previously stood as they apparated to the gates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note: 'Cold Hearted Snake' is a tune from the 1980's by Paula Abdul that reminds me of Slytherins. From what I've seen I'm not the only one as I think I've seen it mentioned in a few other fics.  Of course, several other songs do the same thing but hopefully I won't find the need to bore you with that information throughout the remainder of the story G. Your response to the last chapter was amazing and I enjoyed all of your reviews.  Please be sure to leave a review before you leave and let me know what you thought of the chapter.

Happy Easter!

~Jules


	31. Chapter ThirtyOne

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Thirty-One 

"I cannot tolerate much more of this waiting," Snape snarled, his arms crossed in front of him and a thunderous expression on his face as he took out his frustrations on the flooring in the headmaster's office.  "What if something has gone wrong?  She has no way of contacting us."

"Severus, sit down!" Albus commanded. It was the same conversation they had been having on a daily basis since Hermione had left for Saunton Manor.  "Pacing will not serve to bring her back to us any faster. Perhaps you would care for a lemon drop instead?"

Severus glared at both the bearded wizard and the tin of offensive sweets but sat down nonetheless.  "The gathering was last night.  What if they figured out that she isn't really Emily Saunton?  What if she wasn't able to deliver the potion?  What if something has happened to her?"

"Severus, Hermione is an intelligent young woman and one who is well versed in thinking on her feet.  I feel certain that had she found herself in need of assistance she would have used the portkey you gave her to return to Hogwarts.  The fact that she has chosen not to done so, fills me with hope."

"Bloody damn Gryffindors," Snape muttered and sulked in silence, sneering at the curiosity displayed by the moving portraits of the previous Hogwart's headmasters as they unashamedly watched the scene unfolding in front of them.  

"Have you had any success with the tracking charm?" the headmaster asked, trying to steer the younger man's attention in a different direction. 

"No, but that isn't surprising," the potions master said with a sigh.  "It took some time before the tracking charm and the health indicator were activated when we tested the potion on the reptile. There is also the matter of our trial being completed in a controlled environment with ideal conditions, one of those conditions being that we were dealing with pure reptilian DNA. At this point we have no assurances that Hermione was able to deliver the potion and even if she was successful, we must take Voldemort's mixed genome into consideration."

"Not to worry my friend.  I am certain that it will only be a matter of time now," Dumbledore assured the younger man, a cunning smile lighting up his face as he fleetingly turned his attention towards the doorway.

"Albus, is something wrong with your neck?" Snape questioned sharply, noticing that the headmaster's attention had drifted toward the entrance to his office several times within the past few minutes. "Why, in Merlin's name, do you continue to repeatedly glance at the door?  Are you expecting someone?"

"It would seem so," the wizard answered, his blue eyes twinkling as the door to his office opened to reveal the forms of two new guests standing in the entrance, silhouetted by the dim light of the torches as it reflected off the walls around them.

Being indifferent to the intrusion of whomever the headmaster might be expecting, Severus directed his gaze toward the newcomers out of a sense of civility more than a feeling of genuine interest.  "Hermione," he whispered, his heart racing as he took in the welcome sight of 'Emily Saunton'.  It was then that he noticed the elegant figure of Christina Saunton following closely behind her 'daughter'. His stomach clenched in fear and his mind sped through different scenarios that would bring the woman to Hogwarts.  'Did she discover the polyjuice?' he wondered nervously, his gaze unobtrusively flickering from one woman to the other while his face maintained its customary impassive expression.   

"Ah, Mrs. Saunton and Miss Saunton," the headmaster greeted, his heavy robes gliding across the floor as he moved to welcome the women. Turning his attention to 'Emily' he asked, "I presume you've returned to us early with the intention of studying for your upcoming NEWT's?"

A smile crossed Hermione's face upon hearing the headmaster's words.  She was home and she was on familiar ground once again.  Oh how she had longed for the comfort and security that Hogwarts always seemed to instill in her. She flashed an all-too-brief smile in Snape's direction to assure him that she was all right before answering the headmaster's question.  

"It's alright Albus. Christina figured out I wasn't her daughter the second day I was there. She understands that we were trying to protect Emily after her recent suicide attempt.  And no, before you ask, I really didn't learn much that might help us in our battle against Voldemort."

The charms professor had stared determinedly at the headmaster as she delivered her initial report hoping he would pick up on the fact that she had not revealed her true mission to the woman standing behind her.  She couldn't divulge how much Christina Saunton knew of their plans while the woman was present so this unspoken 'hit and miss' form of communication would have to suffice.  The last thing they needed was to openly discuss the delivery of the 'reptilian cocktail' thereby revealing more information to the woman than would be prudent.  Although Hermione had come to tentatively trust the Slytherin standing behind her, she wasn't about to take chances on something so important. 

Albus shook his head and stared intently at the young woman as he spoke his next words.  It was a look Hermione had seen on the headmaster's face in the past and she knew, without having to ask, that he had understood the warning she was trying to convey. She had no doubts that Severus would have picked up on the nuances of the conversation as well.

"I see. Well, that is a pity but at least Miss Saunton's physical well-being has been assured for now " Dumbledore said, nodding his head in a gesture that told Hermione her unspoken warning had been understood and heeded.  "And now I suspect that you have some questions of your own, do you not Mrs. Saunton?"

"Yes," the woman answered taking a seat in one of the chairs across from the desk that the headmaster had retreated behind.  "The most important question, though quite obvious I'm sure, would have to be something along the lines of: where's my daughter?"

"Your daughter is safe," he replied, raising his hand to stop the flow of questions that was surely coming. "She is currently staying with two of my most trusted associates and will return shortly now that Professor Granger is back."   

"I am not leaving until I have seen her," Christina said regally, her chin raised in an almost challenging gesture.  "How long will it take before she returns?"

"I will floo my associates momentarily and arrange for their return home," he answered and Hermione could see the relief that washed over the older woman. "In the meantime, Professor Snape will kindly escort Professor Granger to her quarters where she will be able to stay out of sight until the polyjuice potion has worn off."

Turning his attention to Hermione, who had taken a seat on the couch beside Severus, he spoke calmly,  "Professor Granger, you may debrief Miss Saunton on any pertinent information she may require regarding your dealings with Voldemort later this evening."

"Yes headmaster," the charms professor said politely, recognizing the dismissal in his voice.  

"Thank you for all of your help," Hermione said quietly to Emily's mother before turning to face the potions master with a gesture that stated she was ready to depart the circular confines that comprised Dumbledore's office.    

Walking to the oversized fireplace, Severus motioned for Hermione to take her position and offered her the box of floo powder that rested on the mantel.  Grabbing a small handful, the Gryffindor tossed the powder into the fireplace.  "Professor Granger's rooms," she said clearly and disappeared from the office in a brilliant flash of green flames. Seconds later Snape mimicked her actions leaving Albus Dumbledore and Christina Saunton to discuss the issues surrounding her daughter's recent activities in private.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The first thing Hermione noticed upon stepping out of the fireplace was a large orange bundle of fur bolting straight for her leg.  "How have you been Crookshanks?" she asked the cat and gave him a loving pat on the head.  

The kneazle looked at her and sniffed her robes as if he was trying to figure out what was going on.  After all, the woman standing before him carried the scent of his mistress but last time he checked Hermione Granger wasn't a blue-eyed, blond haired student. Deciding that he enjoyed the attention he was receiving, he continued to rub against her leg. The rest of the mystery, specifically the mundane matter of why his human was role-playing, could be sorted out later but right now he was going to enjoy the attentions that were freely offered.  

Hermione wasn't sure but she thought she detected an expression of reproach on the cat's face as a result of her absence.  If she had seen such an expression pass over any other feline's face she would have written her perceptions off as stress induced hallucinations. However since the expression rested on the furry face of the hulking kneazle, she filed her suspicions into the 'it's a distinct possibility' file that resided deep within her mind and made a mental note to watch the cat during the following days, as she was certain Crookshanks would attempt a suitable revenge. The last time she had inadvertently angered the feline she had been rewarded with the gift of shredded dress robes. Luckily, that particular set of dress robes had never been one of her favorites but she didn't dare let the cat in on her secret lest he attempt such retaliation a second time. "Don't even think it," she warned the seemingly contented kneazle in an effort to save herself any more feline induced mishaps.

"It would seem that the walking carpet actually missed you," purred a deep baritone voice from directly behind her.  

Turning to face the owner of the voice she smiled, "I would hope he's not the only one who missed me?" 

It took but a moment for the potions master to cross the few feet that separated them and pull her into a fierce hug.  "How long before the polyjuice wears off?" he asked dropping a light kiss on the top of her head. 

"About four hours," she answered reveling in the feel of the muscular arms that wrapped around her. Oh how she had missed such a feeling of safety and warmth! "Why do you ask?"

"Because there are several things I'd like to do to you right now," he whispered in a silky voice, momentarily tightening his grip around her waist. "However I refuse to act on any of those ideas while you still bear the likeness to one of my students. A member of my own house no less."

"Why Professor Snape," she said imitating Emily's voice almost to perfection, "Are you implying that you wouldn't be comfortable in class seeing someone that you've just recently…"

"No!" he said emphatically, interrupting her sentence with a vehemence that sent her into a fit of laughter. Raising an eyebrow, he captured and held her gaze; "I fail to see the humor in my remark."

"Oh Severus," she said, trying to keep her peels of laughter in check, "I am truly glad that you have such morals but if you could see the expression on your face then I daresay that you would be laughing right alongside me!"

"Somehow I doubt that," he answered pulling her toward the sofa.  "Now tell me about your visit with the Saunton's and with Voldemort.  How did Christina Saunton discover your identity?"

"Um," she grimaced in anticipation of having to reveal several of her failures throughout the mission. "Well you see, it seems that Emily is sort of timid around her father and by timid I mean shaking voice, shaking hands, stuttering and not looking him directly in the eye."

"And she didn't mention any of this to you before you left?" he asked, trying to hold his anger in check.  'How could she not mention something of such importance? The Saunton's are not fools,' he thought.

"Well, Christina seems to be under the impression that Emily is unaware of such actions, a sort of conditioned response if you will" she explained, shaking her head in sadness for the young girl in question. 

"So Mrs. Saunton correctly deduced that you were not her daughter.  Why didn't she inform her husband of your deception and hand you over to the Death Eaters?" he asked and a chill ran through his body at the thought of such a thing happening to someone he cared for. 

"Well, she was more concerned with Emily's safety than anything else. Although I am certain that if my answers had not been satisfactory that she would have done exactly that. I suppose she reasoned that if something happened to me then it was possible that a similar fate might befall her daughter.  I told her about Emily's suicide attempt, explained that the girl really didn't want to join Voldemort's ranks, and that I was there as a means of buying her some time before we could decide on a permanent course of action."

"And that was it?" Snape asked skeptically.  He could understand Christina Saunton's reluctance to hand Hermione over to her husband as it fit into what he remembered of her psyche from his school days.  The woman had always been shrewd and was never one to be trifled with.  Merlin knew that her hexing abilities had been some of the best in Slytherin. However she had never seemed to delight in the depravity that some of their fellow housemates took such pleasure from. 

"Not exactly," Hermione answered looking up at him thoughtfully.  "She was quite Slytherin really.  She said that she doubted I would be here unless there was something else at stake.  Knowing that she wouldn't believe me if I denied such a claim, I told her that I was also there to try to obtain information on Voldemort's latest activities for the Order."

"And she believed you?" he asked, once again sounding skeptical. 

"Well, yes after a while.  She seemed to be won over by the fact that you were personally involved with helping her daughter.  Something about a relationship when you both were at Hogwarts together?" she questioned hoping that the potions master would take the bait and tell her the exact nature of his relationship with the woman in question. She realized that it was childish of her to harbor such jealousy but she knew so little of his background and while she recognized the obvious fact that there had been other women before her, it still didn't do much to assuage the war that was brewing between her heart and her head. 

"There was no relationship," he stated in a voice that would brook no argument.  "I assisted her with her potion assignments and we fashioned a sort of friendship but that was the extent of things between us."

"Well she was invaluable when it came to walking me through the dinner party the other night and she saved me from a near miss this morning in Hogsmeade.  I'm not certain that things would have turned out in the manner that they did if it hadn't been for her guidance," she answered. 

"Near miss?" he prompted, a frown marring his forehead.

"Christina wanted to purchase a few things for Emily before returning to Hogwarts," Hermione clarified, grimacing at the memories of trying on one outfit after another at Madam Malkin's shop.  "To make a long story short, the polyjuice potion began wearing off just as Lucius Malfoy spotted us afterwards in front of Honeydukes.  She told me to hurry into the shop and retrieve the potion from my trunk.  I was then to purchase some sweets as a means of maintaining my alibi for visiting the shop and then rejoin her."

"Did you not think to use the potion in the vial that hangs about your neck?" he asked in exasperation as his fingers reached up to stroke the crystal that hung around her throat.

"That would have been best," she agreed a bit sheepishly, "Except that I hadn't planned on a shopping trip this morning.  I used the potion in the crystal at the party last evening and didn't refill it this morning before we left."

His eyes widened in disbelief upon hearing her words and suddenly Hermione felt like a first year again.  Only this time he had every reason to call her a 'silly girl'.

"Of all the dim witted things… Do you have any idea what Lucius Malfoy would have done to you had he realized that you aren't who you pretend to be? If he had realized _exactly_ who you are?" he asked, his voice rising angrily with each word uttered.

"Of course Severus!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "I also saw the pensieve, remember?"

His face blanched as his thoughts drifted back to the images he had seen in the depths of the magical device that evening. Taking a few deep breaths in an effort to control his temper he changed tactics, "I take it your impromptu meeting with Malfoy went well then considering that the two of you returned to the castle without any signs of injury."

"Oh yes," she agreed and laughed when she thought back to the blond haired wizard's hasty departure. 

"What may I ask do you find so amusing in a situation where laughter has no place?" he questioned.

"I was just thinking about Malfoy," she replied with a smile. "You see Christina was baiting him, very subtly, throughout the entire conversation and when she mentioned the gift that Voldemort sent me, well… he seemed to be in a hurry to leave."

"Gift?" he questioned sharply.  'What in Merlin's name was going on now?' he wondered. The Dark Lord was not a creature that offered up gifts to anyone, regardless of their gender and beauty.

"Well yes, the perfume bottle," she clarified before realizing that she hadn't yet told him about the near fiasco from the previous evening. 'Now he's really going to think I'm nothing more than a 'foolish girl,' she thought forlornly. 

"Well you see, Christina had just informed me that Voldemort would be speaking with me shortly so I attempted to make my way through the masses in the ballroom, atomizer in hand, and had just reached the perimeter of the room when this really inebriated man fell into me knocking me to the floor.  When I got up, I realized that the perfume bottle containing the 'reptilian cocktail' had dropped out of my hand and shattered.

"So you were unable to deliver the potion to Voldemort?" Snape questioned, his heart plummeting at the thought.

"Oh no, I did or rather he did," she hastily assured him.

"Hermione…" he warned as she began to ramble as was customary for the Gryffindor when she was nervous.

"Well you see the potion was laying in a pool of liquid on the floor and I had just kneeled down to retrieve some of the broken shards from the bottle when a hand, or rather a couple of fingers, reached down and scooped some of the potion up.  The hand in question belonged to none other than Voldemort who brought the 'perfume' up to his nostrils, at least I guess that's what you call them because you really can't say 'nose' now can you?" she asked taking a breath before continuing with her story. "Anyway, he inhaled the potion all on his own and then made several comments in what I believe was an effort to be charming which was really quite strange considering that he had just casually cast a killing curse on the Death Eater who had bumped into me in the first place…"

"Hermione!" Snape nearly yelled as the young woman before him drifted off into another bout of rambling.  

"Oh, sorry," she muttered biting her lower lip.  "To make a long story short, he inhaled the potion, asked me-or rather Emily- if she was ready to for her initiation and then left after some more small talk.  This morning, during breakfast, an owl delivered a package addressed to Emily.  The package was from Voldemort and consisted of a perfume bottle filled with some exotic fragrance and was meant to replace the one I 'lost' the previous evening."

"Voldemort sent you a gift?" he questioned hoarsely as the contents of his stomach began lurching in a violent manner. While he had taken a sort of perverse sense of pleasure at the thought of Voldemort ultimately poisoning himself, the potions master now began to wonder at this unexpected line of behavior. 'What is he up to?' he asked himself, unable to come up with a suitable answer to satisfy his trepidation. 

"Y…yes," she stuttered, confused by the expression that had settled on his face. 

"May I see it?" he asked, his voice tight from the effort of suppressing his emotions. 

"Sure, it's in my trunk – or rather Emily's trunk…"

"Hermione!"

"Oh all right," she said in confusion not understanding why he was behaving in such a manner.  Pulling the trunk out of her pocket and placing it on the floor, she removed her wand from her sleeve and muttered the incantation to return the baggage to its original state. "Here it is," she said handing him the velvet box along with the note that accompanied it.   

His lips tightened as his eyes scanned the note and his facial expression became even more foreboding.  Removing the bottle from its nest of velvet fabric, he waved his wand back and forth and muttered several incantations, some of which Hermione was unfamiliar with. 

"It looks to be alright. I cannot detect any dark magic surrounding it," he muttered in disbelief, placing the bottle back into its protective box. "Tell me, what was Edgar Saunton's reaction when he saw the Dark Lord's gift?"

"Well, he was silent for a few moments and then he started laughing in this really strange way which was kind of frightening because for a moment I was afraid that he was going to cast Crucio on me again but he didn't. He looked at me and said that I must have taken his warnings regarding my behavior to heart if Voldemort was impressed enough to send such a gift.  Oh, he also said that he hadn't heard of such a thing before- the Dark Lord sending gifts to a pending initiate I mean." She looked up as she ended her narration of the events that transpired to lead to the receipt of the perfume bottle, only to find one of the darkest looks she had ever seen on Snape's face. "What?" she asked hesitantly.

"What do you mean you were afraid he was going to cast Crucio on you _AGAIN_?" he demanded in a most deadly tone of voice. 

"He tutored me on how to behave when I was in Voldemort's presence and after we were finished and I was about to leave the room, he cast a 'friendly' bout of Crucio," she said grudgingly, her body shuddering unintentionally as she recalled the pain suffered at Edgar Saunton's hands. "He said that it was a small reminder of what I would feel should I fail to impress either the other Death Eaters, the inner circle in particular, or Voldemort himself."

'I will kill him if it is the last thing I do,' Snape swore to himself with a passion that surprised even him. He had noticed the shudder that wracked Hermione's petite form as she recounted the events of her tutelage under the man in question.  Having experienced the curse dozens of times himself, he knew that there was no such thing as a 'friendly bout' of Cruciatus.  The pain it inflicted was extreme, only the duration of the infliction changed.  Even a few seconds would have been enough to cause painful side effects for several hours, especially on someone who was unfamiliar with such a curse as Hermione undoubtedly was. 

"It's alright Severus," she told him, understanding finally dawning on her.  "I am unharmed and I am home where I belong.  Honestly, it was a small price to pay considering that we succeeded in introducing the potion into Voldemort's body."

"It is a price that you should never have had to pay," he answered, pulling her close while silently cursing his own inability to protect her.

"It is over now. Please don't dwell on it and don't blame yourself," she pleaded knowing that it was yet another parcel of guilt he refused to relinquish. 

"Did he do anything else to you, harm you in any other way?" he asked, a muscle in the side of his jaw twitching as he struggled to keep his anger in check.  

"No" she answered quickly, mindful of his suppressed anger.

"Hermione…"

"I promise Severus.  Other than that one session and a few meals, I barely ever saw the man. To say that he is interested in his daughter's well-being would definitely be an overstatement of the worst kind.  The man is an unfeeling bastard whose only goal is the procurement of that which benefits him. Do you know that he actually said that Emily's attendance at Hogwarts is basically pointless because her future is already mapped out for her? Believe me, I spent as little time around him as possible."

Snape relaxed slightly at hearing her words.  They had a ring of truth to them and he had always been able to tell when she was lying. 'Gryffindors,' he thought to himself with an affectionate snort. However, she had managed to successfully deceive not only Edgar Saunton but Voldemort as well and that was no small feat.  His heart surged with pride at her accomplishments.

"So Voldemort took a liking to you did he?" he teased the young witch in an effort to lighten the atmosphere.  "Hmmm, I suppose I have competition for your affections now."

"Oh yuck! That's just disgusting, as if I would ever consider…" she aborted her tirade immediately upon seeing the undisguised mirth on his face. "You're just awful," she said with a shy smile.

"You haven't said whether or not you told Christina Saunton about the 'reptilian cocktail' or the tracking charm," he noted, turning serious once more. "I'm assuming from your cryptic message in Dumbledore's office that you have not." 

"I didn't," she confirmed. "I told her that I was trying to gather information and let her think that was it.  I was worried that she might decide to tell someone or turn our plan over to her husband. Such a thing might lead to an antidote or Voldemort tightening security around him when he becomes ill.  Even if she decided not to tell anyone she still could have been a liability. If she let the information slip accidentally or someone forced it from her than the plan would still be compromised and we would lose the edge of surprise."

"Spoken like a true Slytherin," he said with a smile. 

"I don't think I was Slytherin enough for this type of assignment," Hermione told him ruefully. "Think about it.  First, Emily's mum figures out that I'm an imposter. Second, I lose control of the 'reptilian cocktail' and if it weren't for Voldemort himself than the plan would have been lost. Last, I nearly morph back into myself right in front of Lucius Malfoy earlier this morning.  Not a very good track record I'd say."

"The important thing is that you did succeed, despite the unexpected obstacles.  You did…well, for a Gryffindor that is," he told her, squashing down the smile of pride that was struggling valiantly to break across his face. 

"Well if that isn't a back-handed compliment if I've ever heard one," she exclaimed and smiled in appreciation.     

"Gryffindors," he muttered, "always reading something into a comment or situation that isn't necessarily there."

Her retort was cut short by the crackling of the fireplace.  "Hermione, Severus," the profile of Albus Dumbledore called as the light of the green flames reflected around the room. "Do you mind if we come over?"

"Of course not headmaster," Hermione told him.  Moments later they were joined by Dumbledore, Harry, Ron and Emily Saunton.

"Wow," Emily said, stepping from the fireplace and walking over to look at Hermione who still was under the effects of the polyjuice.  "I don't think I'll ever get used to seeing someone else look exactly like me."

"Don't worry," Hermione told the young Slytherin cheerfully, "another hour and you won't have to.  The polyjuice will have worn off and I'll be back to myself leaving you free to reclaim your identity."

"I guess," the girl said dubiously, wondering if that was really a good thing considering what her life currently entailed.

After hugging Harry and Ron, the charms professor once again sat down next to the potions master and listened intently while her best friends recounted their time protecting Emily.  

In turn, they listened eagerly as Hermione recounted everything that Emily would need to know about her time spent with the Sauntons including her conversation with both the Lucius Malfoy and Voldemort.  She was careful to omit any mention of the 'reptilian cocktail' as they had decided not to inform the young Slytherin about that particular part of their plan. She would fill the others in on the details once Emily had departed to her dormitory.

"By the way, Voldemort sent you a gift," the Gryffindor witch said and retrieved the delicate perfume bottle. "I had a bottle of perfume with me at the party last night and it was accidentally broken when someone bumped into me.  Voldemort then killed the man as a result of his clumsiness. When he inquired about the perfume I told him that it was a personalized fragrance made especially for you. I didn't specify who that someone might be, suffice it to know that he assumes it to be an admirer."

"But Professor Granger," Emily protested, "I can't take this. It was meant to replace your own perfume."

"You can and you must," she told the girl firmly. "It seems that Voldemort is not in the habit of handing out gifts.  Lucius Malfoy is already aware of the gesture and I daresay it won't be long before others become aware as well, including students from the school whose parents frequent the same social circle as your father.  You must keep the bottle and you must adhere strictly to the story that we have created.  We could all be at severe risk if you don't."

"I understand professor," Emily assured her. "Was there anything else or may I go now?"  

"I think that Professor Granger has all but covered the necessary points Miss Saunton," the headmaster said, patting the young girl on the shoulder.  "You may return to your studying but remember, we are playing a very dangerous game here and the stakes are at their highest.  You must be diligent and you must, as Professor Granger pointed out, stick to the details exactly as they have been given to you.  To do less could very well result in several lives being lost."

"Yes sir," Emily acknowledged and accepted her reduced trunk from Hermione's hands before exiting her rooms. 

"You did remember to remove the remainder of the polyjuice potion from the trunk did you not?" questioned the potions master.

"Accio polyjuice," she called and the bottle floated across the room to land firmly in the palm of her hand.  Handing the bottle to Snape with a smirk that would rival one of his own, she watched in amusement as he examined the transfigured bottle. 

"Shampoo?" he asked, his eyebrow rising in both disbelief and laughter.     

"Well you didn't expect me to attach a label that said 'polyjuice potion' did you?" she flippantly answered. Snape merely shook his head and placed the bottle in one of the pockets on his robes. 

"I told you she was brilliant, didn't I Harry?" Ron asked his friend with a smile.

"Yes Ron," the Boy-Who-Lived acknowledged.  "You also said that she was a bit scary too, if I remember correctly."

Looking around at the expectant faces, the youngest of the Weasley boys blushed and muttered, "Well she is, just a little bit mind you."

Laughter followed the young man's embarrassed admission and the next few hours were spent filling Harry, Ron and Dumbledore in on the events surrounding the delivery of the 'reptilian cocktail' and her impressions of the dinner party the night before.

It wasn't until much later, after everyone had left and dinner had been eaten, that Severus and Hermione were able to attain a few moments of shared quiet. The Gryffindor witch was completing her nightly bathing ritual while Snape was returning some tomes to their respective shelves.  It was during that time that a piece of parchment caught the potions master's eye.  

"Hermione," he called quietly to the young woman who had just finished brushing her teeth.  "Could you come here for a minute?"

Wondering what had attracted his attention, she entered the room and walked over to stand beside him, following his gaze with her own.  Sitting on the table in front of them was the piece of parchment that contained the tracking map. That in itself was no big surprise. What had caught Snape's attention and now Hermione's as well was a small section off to one side of the map where a bright red dot had appeared.  A dot that was clearly labeled _Tom Riddle_…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note: Yes I know, a transition chapter but I had to get them all back under one roof and on the same page (so to speak) so that the rest of the story can play out.  I had a case of writer's block on this one so I hope that everything made sense G.  Thank you so much for your reviews.  Keep 'em coming!

~Jules  


	32. Chapter ThirtyTwo

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Thirty-Two 

"It worked!" Hermione shouted grabbing the potions master around the neck and jumping up and down. Her behavior was similar to that of a small child who, after waiting through an eternally long night, has been told that Christmas morning has arrived.  "Look Severus, it worked!"

"I do believe that I heard you the first time," Snape gasped; attempting to loosen her grip just enough to allow him to draw breath back into his lungs. Pulling free of the young witch's grasp, he turned her body so that they could both study the map while wrapping his arms around the beaming Gryffindor in an effort to calm her excited movements.

"He's not far away either," she noted, mentally calculating the distance between Hogwart's and the dot on the map that indicated the Dark Lord's whereabouts.  "Funny though, I guess I expected to see the name 'Voldemort' appear by the tracking mark."

"Yes but 'Lord Voldemort' is simply an anagram of his real name: Tom Marvolo Riddle," Snape reminded the young woman lovingly ensconced in his arms.  "It is nothing more than a self-appointed title designed, not only to stroke his twisted ego, but also to strike fear throughout the wizarding world."  

"Well he's certainly accomplished that," she said derisively. "Most of the inhabitants of the wizarding world are too terrified to even think his name, let alone speak it."

"Yes, pompous but effective," the potions master sneered with no small degree of loathing. 

"Well, according to this map, he can't be more than one hundred miles away at most," she noted, drawing an imaginary line on the map between Hogwarts and the tracking mark with her finger.

"Eighty-three miles to be exact," Severus answered with a sigh. 

"How can you be so sure?" she wondered, confused by the reluctance in his tone.

"Because I have been to that particular location far too many times," he answered in a flat voice, utterly devoid of emotion. "If this information is accurate then Voldemort is currently residing at Malfoy Manor, an unfortunate turn of events as it will only serve to make our task that much more difficult. That is, of course, assuming he is still there at the time of our attack."

"I don't understand," the Gryffindor said a little hesitantly. "I mean, I would think that would be a good thing for us seeing that you have been there so many times.  It means that you know the layout of the grounds and what wards or safeguards Malfoy might have in place."

"It is my familiarity with Lucius' methods of safeguarding his property that concerns me," he answered sharply. "At any given time, Malfoy Manor is guarded by anti-apparition wards, recognition charms keyed to grant admittance to specific individuals only, as well as several other types of less than hospitable forms of magic; all intended to deter unwelcome visitors. Then of course there are the dogs that Lucius keeps on hand to patrol the grounds at night."

"Dogs?" Hermione questioned. "That doesn't sound too difficult. We should be able to use standard defensive spells to stun them."

"Yes, provided that we have enough time to cast one before being knocked to the ground and ripped to shreds," Snape agreed sarcastically but softened his countenance as he saw a hurt look momentarily cross her face. 

"Hermione," he said, gently taking her hand in his, "these are not your normal cuddly puppies.  Lucius has trained these dogs to enjoy the taste of blood and they can smell even the most minuscule hint of fear from miles away.  They move stealthily throughout the landscape and stalk their prey with infinite skill. Do not make the mistake of underestimating them."

"Alright," she agreed with a small smile.  "Anything else?"

"Lucius has boasted, rather loudly and on more than one occasion, that he has taken the liberty of employing several dementors to patrol the property as well.  We will have to be mindful of the possibility that we may encounter them."

"I guess I had better practice my technique for casting an acceptable patronus," she said lightly, although the potions master had noticed how her face had paled at the mention of the dark creatures.

"I have every confidence in your abilities," he said in an effort to put her mind at rest. Oddly enough he found that his words were not mere platitudes aimed to remove the look of unease that had settled across her petite facial features. He actually believed that she was capable of accomplishing just about anything she put her mind to, including warding off a dementor should she be unfortunate enough to come across one.  However, he did not have to like the fact that she was planning on potentially placing herself in harm's way yet again.  Lucius Malfoy's threats were not to be taken lightly and if the Dark Lord remained in his current location, and Snape had no reason to believe otherwise given the fact that his health would soon be compromised, then allowing her to accompany them would be risky at best and deadly at worst. He sighed quietly, knowing that there would be nothing that any of them could do or say to convince her to remain behind in the safety that Hogwart's offered while the rest of them went to face Voldemort for what would hopefully be the final time.   

"We need to inform the headmaster that the tracking charm worked," Hermione said, disengaging herself from the potion master's embrace and walking to the fireplace to call Albus Dumbledore.

"Tomorrow," he answered, removing the small container of floo powder from her hand and setting it back on the mantel. 

"But Severus," she protested only to have her words cut short by a long elegant finger being placed gently against her lips.

"It is late and disturbing him now will not bring us any closer to defeating the Dark Lord before morning," he told her in a matter-of-fact way. "Besides, I would prefer to wait until we are certain the tracking charm will continue to work.  If the map is still broadcasting the Dark Lord's whereabouts tomorrow morning, then I think we can safely assume that it is indeed functioning properly and inform Albus right after breakfast."

"Do you think there's a chance that the tracking charm will cease to function?" she asked in alarm.

"There is always that possibility but I am hopeful that our endeavors will be successful," he answered, snuffing out the candles with a brief wave of his wand and directing her toward the bedroom.  

Minutes later, snuggled up against one another in the oversized bed, Hermione rolled over and propped herself up on one elbow while looking at the dark haired man laying beside her. "Severus, do you think the tracking charm worked so quickly because Voldemort inhaled the 'reptilian cocktail' directly?"

"I think that it is likely although we have no way of knowing for certain," he said slowly, considering the matter for a few moments.  "It would seem plausible that Voldemort received a larger dosing of the potion due to the fact that he inhaled it at full potency. The potion coated his fingers and by raising his fingers to his nostrils and inhaling, he assured himself of a larger, not to mention more concentrated, dose than had he breathed in a fraction of the potion that would have been released from the perfume atomizer. The potion did not have a chance to dissipate before reaching his nostrils as it would have with the atomizer."

"So if he inhaled a larger, more concentrated dose than we had originally counted on, would this mean that the potion will begin to attack his bodily systems faster than we anticipated?" she asked, her mind racing with the possibilities.    

"Perhaps," he answered cautiously, not wanting to raise her hopes until they could had more concrete evidence to base their theories on. "However, we have no way of knowing for certain.  The best and most productive use of our time at this point would be to begin making plans for our eventual attack and hope that the potion produces the desired results very soon."

"I suppose," she sighed, her words suddenly coming to an abrupt halt as she felt a pair of warm lips nuzzle the base of her neck just above her shoulder.  "Umm," she moaned in a sigh of contentment as she allowed herself to relax against the sinewy length of his body and enjoy the feeling of his mouth on her skin.  "And just what do you think you're doing Professor?"

"I told you earlier that there were several things that I wanted to do to you," he murmured silkily as one hand came up to gently cup her breast while the other hand traced circles on her lower abdomen. 

Hermione began to lose track of her thoughts as the sensations he invoked began to engulf her senses.  The most delicious feeling of warmth began to form in the pit of her stomach building quickly until it resembled a raging inferno that threatened to overcome her very being.  Tendrils of delight began to radiate throughout her limbs as the sensations rippled across the creamy expanse of her thighs to the core of her being. She knew without doubt that these were feelings she would never tire of.  These were feelings that only he was capable of bestowing upon her.  Closing her eyes, she yielded to his ministrations as flashes of color exploded behind her eyelids. It was this closeness, this feeling of such complete belonging that she had missed and had so desperately craved during her stay at Saunton Manor. She thirsted for him, hungered for him to the point that the intensity of her emotions would have scared her had she not completely trusted, with her heart and soul, the man lying next to her.   

"I've missed this," she whispered huskily as she instinctively arched into the curves of his body, craving the closeness that only the ultimate act of their inevitable joining would satisfy.   

"As have I," he assured her, rolling her lissome body to where her back lay nestled against the coolness of the satin sheets. Altering his position slightly, he rolled his own body over to settle his weight between her legs before capturing her mouth in a scorching kiss that seemed to stop time itself. It was then that he finally allowed himself to give in to the feelings of love and desire that had been his constant companion during the past several days. He had worried about her during her absence; he had missed her companionship during the days and craved the gift of her touch during the nights. But most of all he had missed the feeling of completeness that she brought to his life and the feelings of love and belonging she brought to his heart. She satiated him in a way that no other woman ever had or ever would again.

The lovers took their time rediscovering the contours of one another's body as if they had been apart for years rather than days. Their whispered words, soft caresses, and moans of pleasure accompanied them on one tidal wave after another throughout the night as they unselfishly gave fully of themselves in an act that, once again, bound not only their bodies together but their hearts as well.  It wasn't until shortly before the first rays of dawn peeked through the blanket of night that they finally fell asleep, wrapped tightly in one another's embrace. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next morning found the pair once again making their way toward the headmaster's office. The tracking charm had proven stable and the map still showed the small red dot labeled 'Tom Riddle.'  To Hermione's chagrin, the intensity of the coloring on the marker had not changed and while she knew that it was too soon to see the charm display a visible change in the Dark Lord's physical well-being, she had still held on to a small, though illogical, shard of hope.   

"Tootsie Pops," the young witch called out as they reached the entrance to the headmaster's office.  Noticing the confused glaze that had passed over the potions master's eyes, she smiled and clarified the meaning of the password.  "It's a type of Muggle sweet on a stick that has a hard coating and a soft chewy sweet inside." 

Snape merely raised an eyebrow in a very characteristic gesture that Hermione had learned over the years translated into something akin to, 'You cannot be serious.'

Reaching the doorway to the Dumbledore's office, the professors walked in and once again saw the figures of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley sitting on the sofa quietly discussing plans for the upcoming battle.

"This is getting to be a habit," Snape growled, taking a seat across from the headmaster. 

The Gryffindor witch did a fairly decent job of hiding her smile although if a person were to look closely, they would notice the slight twitching of her lips and an added brightness in her eyes.  

Hermione's mirth was not lost on Albus Dumbledore whose eyes were twinkling like midget lights on a muggle Christmas tree.  He had heard the exchange between the teachers and had known his potions master long enough to realize that, though his words were delivered in the customary sarcastic manner, they lacked the bitter sting that that everyone had come to expect from the dour wizard.

"Good morning Severus and Hermione," Dumbledore greeted his guests. "I take it the tracking charm has proven to be successful?"

"I hardly think that it is necessary to ask since you already appear to have the answer to your questions Albus," Snape sneered, once again wondering why the headmaster deigned to have a conversation with anyone given the fact that he seemed to know everything anyway.

The potions master's reactions triggered a series of snickers from the quartet of Gryffindors.  Harry and Ron were trying their best to hide their laughter lest Snape decide to silence them by turning his dark humor their way. Hermione momentarily lowered her head allowing her hair to cascade toward the floor and effectively hide the smile that had settled across her face.  If it hadn't been for the slight tremor in her shoulders, no one would have known that the witch was laughing.  

"Perhaps you can humor an old wizard, eh Severus?" Dumbledore asked and the expression on his face was one of humor rather than anger or offense.

Snape looked around the room at the expectant faces.  It wasn't that he was angry with them and he had actually come to gain a certain amount of respect for Potter and even a small amount for Weasley as well. However, his relationship with Hermione had softened him somehow during the course of the past few months and with classes resuming in a few days he felt it was better to begin practicing his 'Snape the bastard' routine now rather than push it off. Seeing the various degrees of humor plastered across the faces that stared back at him, he was beginning to suspect that he had lost his edge. It didn't occur to him to think that the amusement these people were displaying might actually be a sign of respect and acceptance. 

"The tracking charm became active late last evening," Severus told them and was pleased to notice the looks of surprise on the faces of the younger men.  "We feel that by inhaling the potion directly, Voldemort received a more concentrated dose which explains the speed in the charm's success."

"Where is he now Professor?" Harry asked, subconsciously rubbing the scar that marred his forehead.

"Malfoy Manor," the potions master answered, noticing the bobbing of Ron's Adams apple as he nervously gulped.  'Understandable, given the wealthy wizard's open hostility and prejudice towards the boy's family throughout the years,' Snape thought.

"That will complicate matters don't you think?" Dumbledore questioned, his eyes gazing steadily at Snape. 

"Yes, Malfoy Manor is well guarded both by magic and by other means.  If we are to successfully carry out any plan of attack then we will have to take these things into account."

"Excuse me Professor," Harry asked, his Auror training kicking in and leaving him with numerous questions. "But how do we know that he will still be at Malfoy Manor when the potion starts to work on his physical health? Isn't it possible that he might decide to go into hiding at a different location?"

"We have no guarantee that the Dark Lord will remain at Malfoy Manor. However, based on what I have observed of his behavior throughout the years, I would have to say that it is the most likely scenario," Snape answered. "Lucius is Voldemort's second-in-command and has proven his loyalty time and again.  In addition to this, should the potion be successful and Voldemort's health begins to fail, he will need to stay somewhere familiar and with someone that he trusts.  Not that he really trusts anyone mind you but Lucius would still be the most logical choice given the circumstances.  There is also the added bonus that Lucius is the sole inhabitant of Malfoy Manor given that he no longer has a wife or offspring.  A fact that will prove favorable to the Dark Lord as he wouldn't want word of his illness to spread amongst the ranks of his Death Eaters. Should such a thing transpire, he would lose some of the control that he currently wields over them. Control that is based primarily on fear and would be severely undermined should they begin to view him as anything less than all-powerful."

"But how will we know when it's the right time to attack?" Ron asked.

"We have no way of knowing how fast the potion will begin to affect Voldemort's health nor do we know at what rate that deterioration will progress once it has begun," the potions master answered, wishing he had concrete facts to give the red haired man but knowing that such a thing was not possible. "Our only option is to begin planning and continue monitoring the tracking map for any signs of change that would indicate the potion's success. In other words Mr. Weasley, we will have to attack based on our best estimate of the information provided to us."

"I was afraid you were going to say something like that," the young man muttered turning a little green at the thought of attacking the Dark Lord.

Dumbledore, who had been quietly listening to the conversation, turned to the potions master. "Severus, do you think that Voldemort will go through with his plans to attack the school during or around graduation even if his health is suffering?"

"Especially if his health is suffering," Snape replied with an audible sigh. Seeing the confused expressions on the faces that peered expectantly at him, he explained his reasoning. 

"Voldemort is obsessed with gaining revenge on both the headmaster and Mr. Potter and, in a twisted way, he views Hogwarts as an extension of the two of you.  He was never able to gain victory over Potter during his student days and the Dark Lord views that as a direct result of Albus' position as Headmaster. Therefore in his mind, if he manages to either gain control over the castle or destroy it, he will have achieved a major victory," Severus concluded.

"And if he felt his health was on the verge of failing completely…" Hermione said, giving voice to the chain of thoughts that were running through her mind.

"In the case of such an event, he would place the attack above all else in terms of importance," Snape interrupted. "He would not want his life come to an end without having the satisfaction of seeing his most hated enemies destroyed first."

A silence fell over the office as each person took a moment to allow the implications of what the potion master's words sink in.  Detaching himself from the situation for a moment, Severus observed the different reactions of the individuals present. He noted that Potter's face had taken on a look of grim determination. The young man had obviously resigned himself to the fact that facing the Dark Lord was something that must be done regardless of the circumstances surrounding the upcoming attack. Weasley's face however, did not show the same determination. But though he had paled considerably upon hearing Snape's words, the potions master could see the loyalty shining through in the young man's eyes when he looked toward his friend of so many years. Snape knew instinctively that the red haired young man would follow Potter into battle and give nothing less than his best to defeat their common enemy just as he had done so many times in the past. Surreptitiously glancing at Hermione, he was unsurprised to note the worry that shone through the blank expression that she had tried to present for the sake of the others.  He bowed his head slightly, wishing there was some way around the battle that was to come yet knowing that there was not; the time to confront Voldemort had arrived and, win or lose, the confrontation was inevitable. 

"Well then it seems we have no other alternative," the headmaster said in a grave tone of voice.  "The graduation ceremony will take place in five weeks and, regardless of whether or not the potion has worked, it is time for us to take the battle to Voldemort as the consequences of him bringing the battle to Hogwarts has the potential of being far worse. I will begin compiling a list of wizards and witches that we can count on to assist us in the upcoming confrontation. Severus and Harry, some of the people on the list will not have extensive training in defensive measures.  I would like for the two of you to work together to give them additional instruction in such matters.  It goes without saying that such lessons must be kept quiet as it would not do for Voldemort to become aware of our plans."

"What about the Ministry headmaster?" Ron asked, his mind already pondering different strategies that might aid them in their endeavors. "We might be able to get additional support from the Aurors and other departments if we told them of our plans."

"Ah Mr. Weasley," Dumbledore answered, "while I would very much appreciate the additional support which the Ministry of Magic might be able to provide, we cannot risk telling them for fear that our plans may be discovered.  Lucius Malfoy has many contacts within various departments at the Ministry and chances of discovery are probable.  We must not lose the advantage of surprise as it might make the difference between success or failure."

"What about us?" Hermione asked, indicating her and Ron.  "Is there anything we can do to help?"

"Absolutely," Dumbledore answered and Hermione could see the twinkle returning to his eyes.  "I want you to come up with a series of simple but effective charms that our people may use in battle. We have no idea what type of opposition we will encounter during the attack as we can only see Voldemort's location and not the number of Death Eaters that might be present."

"What about me?" Ron questioned, determined that he was going to contribute as well. 

"I have been given to understand that you are quite the strategist Mr. Weasley," the headmaster answered with a warm smile.  "I will require your assistance in coordinating and planning the attack.  That is, if you have no objections to such a task?"

"Of course not," the red haired young man replied, beaming from the compliment paid to him by the headmaster. 

"And now, if no one else has any other questions, I believe it is time for lunch," Dumbledore commented with a proud smile. Rising from his seat, he ushered the small group of freedom fighters out of his office and led them to the Great Hall.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Two weeks had passed and Hermione was becoming depressed.  The tracking map continued to indicate that Voldemort still resided at Malfoy Manor but thus far, the intensity of the tracking mark denoting the Dark Lord's physical health had barely changed.  

"What if it doesn't work?" the Gryffindor asked the potions master yet again.  "We only have three weeks left before the graduation ceremony."

"Have faith Hermione," Severus told her quietly. "We knew there was no guarantee the potion would work and we still don't know that it hasn't. Remember, it may take time for the Dark Lord's bodily systems to break down enough to show a significant physical change on the tracking map."

"But time is the one thing that we don't have!" she exclaimed in frustration, stomping her tiny foot like a petulant child. 

Snape looked at the young woman standing before him.  'She really is quite striking when she is angry or frustrated,' he thought, biting back the laughter that threatened to overcome him as a result of her antics.  However, it wouldn't do for her to become too frustrated, as she needed to stay focused on the plan. Dumbledore had put together a listing of his most trusted and most capable friends, some of which were already members of the Order of the Phoenix while a few were not.  The list consisted of approximately forty people and Snape, Harry and Hermione were rotating them through the training courses in groups of ten. By keeping the groupings small, each professor could provide more personalized instruction, if needed.  The small groupings also had the added advantage of keeping suspicion to a minimum as they attracted far less attention. The attack itself was scheduled to take place one week prior to the graduation ceremonies regardless of whether or not the 'reptilian cocktail' had shown signs of effectiveness. 

Several days later, tired from a long day of classes and late night tutelage in their various subjects to the members of the resistance, Snape and Hermione entered his quarters and prepared to retire for the evening.  Sleep was becoming a rare commodity and they were selfishly grabbing as much of it as they could, knowing they each needed to maintain their strength if they were to be of any use in the upcoming battle.

They had begun an unspoken tradition of sitting down quietly together and discussing the events of the day over a glass of liquor prior to retiring for the evening. It was a practice they had both come to enjoy as it allowed them to relax and spend quality time with one another, tucked safely away from the prying eyes of those around them. Severus had just handed the exhausted witch her customary glass of red wine when something on the end table caught his attention.

"Hermione," he called and she could hear a slight sense of urgency in his deep baritone voice, "take a look at this." 

Taking the piece of parchment he held out to her, she realized that it was the tracking map.  Glancing up at him in confusion, she returned her gaze to the map and gasped.

The tracking marker on the map labeled 'Tom Riddle' had lightened considerably in color indicating that the Dark Lord's physical condition had indeed changed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  I just wanted to take a moment to let you all know how grateful I am for your responses to the last chapter.  I was utterly floored by the number of reviews and enjoyed reading each and every one of them.  I am very glad that so many of you seem to be enjoying the story and hopefully, you enjoyed this chapter as well.  For those of you who have been asking for smut, I hope you enjoyed the lovemaking scene between Snape and Hermione.  My apologies if it isn't quite as explicit as some of you might have hoped but I am not overly comfortable writing such scenes at this point in time. We are winding down to the last few chapters of the story (I have the outline mapped out at three chapters but wouldn't be surprised if my muse insists on adding an additional one as seems to have been the tradition throughout the entire story.) As always, I look forward to hearing your comments. 

  
~Jules

OzRatbag2:  Thank you so much for the plug on my latest SS/HG story.  I hadn't even thought of plugging it but for those of you who are interested, "What If" is my latest HP offering.  It is a one-shot/ one-chapter story and definitely falls in the Angst category G It is listed under my profile. 

Artemys:  Okay, I have to ask: what does SFN stand for? (author gives an embarrassed smile and hides head in shame for not knowing the answer on her own.) 


	33. Chapter ThirtyThree

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Thirty-Three 

The week-and-a-half prior to the battle proved to be exhausting for everyone involved.  Snape and Harry had managed to forge a truce and work together to train the groups in advanced techniques for Defense Against the Dark Arts while Hermione's evenings were divided between marking papers for her regular classes and teaching her groups some of the more uncommon spells of protection should they come up against any Death Eaters. The tracking map continued to place the Dark Lord at Malfoy Manor and the intensity of the marker had continued to fade, indicating the potion was certainly doing something. They could only hope that 'something' would be enough of an advantage to win both the battle and the war. 

Now, sitting in a room that had long since been forgotten by most of the inhabitants of the castle, the small band of freedom fighters awaited the arrival of Albus Dumbledore to deliver their final set of instructions. 

A hush fell over the room as the headmaster calmly entered, his brocade robes trailing behind him in a picture of unrivaled majesty. The wizard remained silent as he took a moment to look over the faces of the men and women gathered together for the common purpose of defeating the Dark Lord. A look of pride crossed his face as he continued to observe the expectant crowd. So many of them had suffered as a result of Voldemort's reign and yet here they gathered, ready to do whatever it might take to defeat their common enemy.  They shared a bond that united them in loss; losses they had suffered and attributed to the Dark Lord. For some, the loss manifested in the death of a loved one while for others it was the loss of freedom to choose their own path.  

"My friends," the revered wizard began, "the time has come to bring the war to Voldemort himself."

A murmur ran through the room at the headmaster's casual use of the Dark Lord's name and several witches and wizards looked around nervously at one another as if they were expecting Hell itself to make an appearance. 

"Tonight will be the night that we have both waited and trained for and in a few moments you will be divided into groups and assigned specific tasks. But first I would like to tell you a little story, one which could not be told prior to this evening for fear that Voldemort would learn of its details," he said and nearly laughed at the confused expressions on the faces that stared back expectantly. 

"As many of you are aware, the Order of the Phoenix has been working diligently to thwart Voldemort's efforts and ensure freedom for the wizarding world.  What many of you are not aware is that we were successful in planting several spies amongst his ranks. Two of which infiltrated Voldemort's Inner Circle, a grouping comprised of his most trusted servants.  Both of these men have endured and sacrificed much over the years to bring us the information that we have so desperately needed and I believe that it is time their efforts are finally honored."

"Who are they?" a wizard from the Ministry of Magic shouted from the back of the assembly. Another round of murmuring could be heard amongst the gathering and Snape, who had been leaning against one of the walls in the back of the room, shuffled uncomfortably. His expression toward the headmaster was thunderous and it was obvious that, had he been able to disappear into the anonymity of the walls, he would have done so immediately.

Dumbledore raised his hands in an effort to quiet the curious audience.  "Yes, I think that after all of their hard work they deserve to be recognized.  Draco Malfoy began working for the Order whilst still in school and infiltrated Voldemort's ranks as a Death Eater to later become a member of the Inner Circle.  Alas, as most of you are aware, young Malfoy was killed a short while ago. What most of you are not aware of is that his death was a direct result of his efforts to save both a muggle family and the Aurors that were called to the scene.  His contributions to the cause were immeasurable and though we were unable to disclose his true loyalties prior to this night, I feel it fitting that he be remembered now."

Another hush fell over the room before the headmaster continued to speak.  "The other member of the Order that was successful in infiltrating the Inner Circle is one of our own professors here at Hogwarts.  Since Voldemort's reanimation, Severus Snape has been playing the role of double agent and has been responsible for the largest amount of information the Order has received. This information has come at great personal expense and had it had not been for Severus' tenacity and loyalty to the Cause, we would not have been able to divert so many Death Eater attacks or save so many innocent lives.  Thanks to him, Voldemort has not been able to gain the stronghold over the wizarding world that he originally intended."

Silence blanketed the room as witches and wizards turned in their chairs to stare at the glowering man standing in back of the room.  Suddenly, a sound was heard from the front of the assembly and Severus turned to see that several people had risen and were now clapping in his honor.  Thinking quickly so that he might devise a suitable comment to dissuade their enthusiastic response, he was horrified to see the rest of the assembly rise and follow suit.  Looking to Hermione for support, he relaxed slightly as she quietly smiled and squeezed his hand, letting him know in her own silent way that everything would be okay. 

Once the applause had died down, the headmaster resumed his narrative.  "Several months ago, Severus' true loyalties were discovered, effectively ending his spying activities and almost as effectively ending his life. Since that time he and Professor Granger have created a potion that, once introduced into Voldemort's body, will make him very ill.  We have confirmation that the potion, which was delivered by Professor Granger under the guise of a Polyjuice potion, has been a success."

A murmur of approval passed through the audience before Dumbledore once again continued his story. "Further information provided to us as a result of the efforts of Professors Snape and Granger, have shown us that Voldemort is currently in residence at Malfoy Manor.  Most of you will recognize that as the home of Lucius Malfoy who is Voldemort's second-in-command."

Surprised gasps were heard from several witches and wizards while the phrase 'I told you he was one of them' could be heard from others. 

"Furthermore, we have learned that many of Voldemort's Death Eaters will be gathered at Malfoy Manor this evening," the bearded wizard continued. "It seems they are discussing their own battle strategies which include the taking of Hogwarts next week during the graduation ceremony."   

The noise rose to an almost deafening level as the assembled members voiced shrieks of surprise and dismay and began wildly chattering amongst themselves. 

"How did he find that out?" Hermione quietly asked, referring to the Death Eater meeting.  

"I have no idea," the still embarrassed potions master replied with a small frown. Allowing his eyes to travel around the room, he wondered who would have given such information to the headmaster and if that information was real or a ploy of the Dark Lord's intent on leading them into a trap.

"Obviously, this must not be allowed to happen which is why we will proceed with our attack," the headmaster said and a wave of bobbing heads and murmurs of approval erupted from the guests. "You will now be divided into your groups before we began discussing the plan of attack which we will follow this very night."

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thirty minutes later the assembly was seated quietly in eight distinct groupings. They were all awaiting their final instructions and the time to apparate to the perimeter of Malfoy Manor was drawing near at an alarming rate.

"As you can see we have divided you into groups," Dumbledore began.  "There are eight groups in all.  Four of the groups will be designated as primary strike teams and will enter the premises from the North, South, East and West.  The main entrance to Malfoy Manor is located on the South side of the estate.  All four of these groups will be responsible for breaking through the wards and entering their quadrant of the Manor. The remainder of the groups will patrol the perimeters. Mr. Weasley if you would be so kind as to explain the rest? "

"Um, yes sir," Ron said nervously, coming forth to stand by the headmaster. "Well, as the headmaster already pointed out, there will be four strike teams.  The um, first team will be made up of Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Mad-Eye Moody and Madam Hooch. They will dismantle the wards and enter through the South entrance of the Manor."

The groups began to murmur amongst themselves upon hearing that Dumbledore's group would attack the primary entrance to Malfoy Manor. 

"The second team," Ron continued, raising his voice slightly to regain the groups' attention, "will consist of Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Molly Weasley and George Weasley. They will dismantle any wards they come across and enter from the East entrance.  Since there is not a ground level entrance, you will be entering through a balcony on the second floor and will search the Manor from that point."

"That ought to be fun!" Fred Weasley remarked to his twin in reference to entering the Manor on the second floor. 

"Oh hush Fred!" Molly Weasley told the prankster, drawing a few laughs from the groups.

"The third strike team," Ron continued, ignoring the antics of his family, "will consist of Harry Potter, myself, Oliver Wood and Fred Weasley.  It will be our job to dismantle any wards we encounter and enter the Manor on the West side through a window on the third floor."  

"At least I only have to enter on the second floor," George teased his brother. "You have to use a window on the third floor."

"I said hush!" Mrs. Weasley scolded, her voice rising along with her temper.

"The final strike team," Ron said, his face turning beat red as a result of his mother's shrill admonishment, "will consist of Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Neville Longbottom and Christina Saunton. They will enter the Manor through a hidden passageway that leads to the dungeons on the North side of the estate."

There was a general rumbling amongst the assembly as the duties of the strike teams were all disclosed.  Neville looked to the dark clad man sitting next to him and gulped as he tried to hide his shaking hands from the potions master's view.

"That not only places a team on every side of the Manor but on every floor as well," Hermione observed.

"I believe that was the idea," Snape answered quietly.  "If Lucius really is hosting a Death Eater meeting then they will disperse throughout the Manor and indulge themselves in various activities once they have finished discussing the business of the evening.  There is no telling where we may encounter them."

"What about the rest of us?" a young man called out. 

"The rest of you will be guarding the perimeters of the estate," Ron answered and looked back at his notes detailing the layout of the Manor and the positions assigned to each team.  "There will be four teams assigned to guard the perimeter.  The first team will be led by Percy Weasley and will consist of seven people.  This team will patrol the Northwest section of the estate.  The second team will be led by Dennis Creevy and will consist of eight people.  Dennis' team will patrol the Southeast section of the estate.  The third team will be led by Blaise Zabini and will consist of eight people.  This team will patrol the Southwest section of the estate. The fourth team will be led by Arthur Weasley and will consist of seven people.  Dad's team will patrol the Northeast section of the estate."

"Thank you Mr. Weasley," the headmaster said with a smile as he once again took control of the meeting. "Now, you have all been told of some of the dangers which you may encounter once we apparate to the perimeter of Malfoy Manor. Also, it is important to remember that we know neither the location of Voldemort nor the Death Eaters within the Manor. We must be cautious and have faith in ourselves and our teammates for it is only through our faith and belief in one another that we will stand fast."

A cheer of applause erupted again as Dumbledore went to join his group. Forty-five minutes later, after all groups had had a chance to study the layout of the land surrounding Malfoy Manor and devise strategies, the teams apparated to the perimeter to begin their attack. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"C..Could it get any darker?" Neville stuttered nervously as he heard yet another strange rustling sound from the nearby grove of trees. 

"You are a wizard Mr. Longbottom, despite what your potions grades might have said to the contrary," Snape sneered, eyeing the young man warily as if he expected a major catastrophe to occur at any moment.  "Use your wand to illuminate your path."

The young man looked nervously at the potions master and wondered who he could have upset enough to put him on this particular team.  Snape still eyed him like an insect to be squashed just as he had done years ago in potions classes and the other woman looked a little daunting as well.  'Must be a Slytherin too,' he thought and looked toward Hermione for moral support.  Seeing her nod of encouragement, he managed a small, quivering smile and proceeded to cast his spell.  "Lumos," he whispered and a small bead of light shined from the end of his wand. 

Hermione, for her part had been trying to figure out why Christina Saunton was with them.  Not that she minded of course but the last thing she had expected to see was Edgar Saunton's wife signing up to join a battle that would pit her directly against her husband. 'At least we know how the headmaster heard about the Death Eater meeting,' she thought to herself.  

As if sensing her thoughts, the older woman hung back a moment until she and the Gryffindor witch lagged a few steps behind Snape and Neville. 

"You're wondering why I'm here," Christina said in a very straightforward way that was more of a statement than a question.

"Well yes, I suppose I am," Hermione answered quietly, not wanting to offend the woman. "I would have thought that this would be too risky for you given your family's association with Voldemort and all."

"It is," she replied. "However, after speaking with Albus over the Easter holidays and then spending time with Emily, I realized that something must be done.  If we are not successful then my daughter will have no choice but to join the Death Eaters and I suspect, were such a situation to occur, that she would make another attempt on her life. Somehow I doubt she would fail a second time. There is also the matter of Voldemort's unusual interest in her.  I neither understand nor trust his intentions."

The woman's eyes were shadowed with a look of pain as she spoke of her daughter. However, underneath the pain, Hermione could sense a great deal of steely determination on the Slytherin's part.  It was, in an odd sort of way, comforting to know that she was actually on their side and if Severus were correct about the woman's magical ability then her skills would certainly be useful. 

The team continued to make their way toward the hidden entrance to the dungeons when a cold feeling began to invade Hermione's body.  Looking around quickly, she strained her eyes to see if she could detect any movement within the shadow of the trees that lined their path. Visibly shuddering, she moved nearer to the potions master to warn him of her suspicions. 

"Severus," she whispered, tugging on the sleeve of his robe to ensure his attention.  "I think we may have company."

"Dementors," Snape responded tightly, sensing their presence nipping at the tips of his consciousness.  "Be ready."

Nodding her head in understanding, she gripped her wand tighter and pulled closer to Neville.  Judging by the look on Christina's face, the woman had already sensed the presence of the dark creatures and was preparing herself for the upcoming confrontation she knew was sure to come. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, a dark hooded form glided toward the Gryffindor witch.  Looking around quickly she realized that the others were facing the same situation.  There looked to be six dementors surrounding the small group.  The members of the strike team could feel the presence of the dark creatures pressing in on their minds as feelings of doubt and despair began to cloud their vision. 

"Expecto Patronum!" called the voice of Christina Saunton and suddenly the night sky was lit with the image of a deadly looking dragon.  The dragon twisted and contorted its body; its scales gleaming in the unnatural magical light of the spell, until it's vision became fixed on one of the dementors. Zeroing in on its target, the dragon gracefully assumed an attack position and charged just as a tremendous burst of fire shot forth from its mouth.  

During the confusion, Hermione backed up and tripped over something that could have been an exposed root from one of the nearby trees. Although, given the darkness of the evening it was difficult to tell. From her position on the ground, she had seen the patronus that the Slytherin woman had cast.  It had been a beautiful, eerie sight and had taken the young witch off guard. Unfortunately, her momentary lapse in concentration was enough for two of the dementors to take advantage of her plight and as she fell to the ground, the hooded beings closed in on her position.  

"Expecto Patronum!" she heard a timid but determined voice cry out as a magical light once again illuminated the sky. She looked up to see the ghostly image of a large lion bearing down on her and before she knew it, the dementors had fled.  

"Are you alright Hermione?" Neville asked worriedly, helping his friend up off the ground.  

"That was your patronus?" she asked wide-eyed as she dusted herself off and stood by the young man.  "That was amazing Neville. Thank you."

Flashing her a shy but appreciative smile for her compliment, he quickly handed her a small foil wrapped item and began scouting for more of their unwelcome guests.  

Opening her hand to look at the object Neville had given her, she was surprised to find that it was a piece of chocolate.  The very thing that would help her regain her strength after such a close call with the dementors.  'I didn't even think of bringing chocolate along,' she mused and smiled briefly as she realized that Neville wasn't nearly as inept as they had all feared during his years at school. 

"Are you alright Hermione?" Snape asked, coming up behind her a moment later. 

"Yes," she assured him, "Neville cast a patronus and drew the dementors away from me."

"Merlin help us," he said dryly.  "It looks like Longbottom may turn out to be a wizard after all."

"Where are the others?" she questioned, tactfully ignoring his comment.   

"I sent them ahead to start dismantling the wards on the entrance," he answered looking around cautiously.  Something didn't feel right but he couldn't quite place his finger on it.

"Severus!" she cried pointing to a patch of darkness just beyond his shoulder.  "Look out!"

Snape turned to see two dementors bearing down on his position at an alarming rate.  Looking back to Hermione to tell her to run, he was horrified to see yet another dementor gliding up behind her. Making a split second decision, he ignored the dark creatures behind him and cast a patronus to protect the Gryffindor witch.  "Expecto Patronum!" he shouted, and a burst of light emerged from his wand to shape itself into the exact image of a black panther.  The panther gracefully twisted its agile body in the air and pounced directly toward the dementor.  

Hermione had sensed the dementor's presence but had decided to deal with it once she had dispatched the creatures currently heading for the potions master.  "Expecto Patronum!" she called and aimed her wand at a point high into the night sky.  A burst of light shot forward and the most beautiful image of a unicorn appeared. The magical creature's mane fluffed proudly while its hooves pranced the steps of a combative dance. Fixing its gaze, it lowered its majestic head and aimed the glowing horn directly at the dementors that were almost upon Snape.  Seconds later the dark creatures were gone and the image of the unicorn slowly faded from the sky.

"Well, that was fun," she quipped shakily in an attempt to regain her composure.  

"Are you alright?" Snape asked concerned.  She had now had two near misses with the dementors and while he knew she would recover, she certainly couldn't withstand many more attacks. They were just too draining.

"I'm fine. But I don't think that I want to play this particular game anymore," she answered with a mischievous grin. 

"Let's finish this so we can get you back to Hogwarts." Grabbing her hand, the pair hurried to catch up with the rest of their team and assist in deactivating the wards that hindered their entrance to Malfoy Manor.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry's team was having an easier time making their way toward their designated point of entrance. Too easy in fact and that was exactly what was worrying The-Boy-Who-Lived.  So far they hadn't met up with any dogs, Dementors or death eaters.  

"Well, we can just fly up to the window and enter that way," Oliver Wood said, calculating the distance between their current position and the entryway to the Manor. 

"Yeah but we'll have to fly low just to be sure we're not spotted," Fred added. 

"Let's do it," Harry decided, pulling his broom out of his pocket and laying it on the ground.  "Engorgio," he said pointing his wand at the broom and watched as it returned to its original size.  He had to admit that the reducio spell was convenient if you needed to carry large, bulky items without being hindered.  

Moments later, each member of the team had mounted their broomsticks and were making their way toward the Manor.  

"There it is Harry," Ron exclaimed, pointing out the window that would grant them access to the third floor of the Manor.  "I just hope there's no one in the room when we get there."

"Me too," Harry agreed and pulled his broom to an abrupt halt when he saw the crackle of electricity as Fred collided with an unseen barrier. He watched in dismay as the red haired Weasley's broom went spiraling to the ground.  

"Pull back!" he shouted to the other members of the team and made his way toward his fallen comrade.  

"Fred!" Ron shouted and raced down to check on his brother. "Fred, answer me," he ordered, turning the young man over on to his back.  "I don't see any visible damage."

"Oh sure, if you call being fried to a crisp no damage'" his brother mumbled from his position on the ground and groaned as he attempted to sit up.  "Ugh! What was that?"

"It's a defensive barrier," Harry informed his friend. "I hate to say it but it looks like Malfoy was smarter than I gave him credit for. Usually that type of barrier is limited to the ground level and does not recognize broomsticks as something to be kept out."

"No Harry," Ron answered and patted his friend on the back, "he just got lucky this time. That's all. Besides, if I were Malfoy, I would probably be paranoid too."

"We'll, it looks like the ward extends about twenty feet from the Manor," Oliver noted.  "Which means that we can fly to that point and work on disarming it from there."

"Even if we could only disarm it for a few seconds, it would be enough for us to get in," Ron agreed looking to his friend for a decision. 

"Fred, do you think that you'll be able to fly?" Harry asked.

"Sure thing Harry.  I'm a bit beaten up but nothing seems to be broken.  I say let's have at it," he assured the younger man.

"Leave it to you to fly headlong into the equivalent of an invisible brick wall," Ron muttered as he mounted his broomstick.  

"Yeah, well just don't go telling mum. You know how she gets. Besides, if I hadn't flown into it then you would be the one lying on the ground right now instead of me.  The way I see it, you owe me one little brother," the Weasley twin said with a grin. 

"You wish," his younger brother shot back as they both lifted off from the ground. 

"Still," Fred mused, "it would make a wicked prank if we could simulate something like it for the joke shop."

"I don't know Fred," Ron answered with a look that hinted at his concerns regarding his brother's sanity.  "Electrifying your clientele can't be good for repeat business."

"Well, we'd only make it a little shock!" the young man exclaimed and followed his brother to assist the others in deactivating the wards.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Meanwhile, Snape's team had finally broken through the final wards that barred their entrance to the Malfoy dungeons.  Casting a silencing spell on himself, he cautiously opened the door and stepped inside the dimly lit complex.  The stench of human decay and suffering assaulted his sensitive nose and he clamped down hard on the urge to choke from the oppressiveness of the atmosphere.  He had been to these very dungeons more than once and had seen, first-hand, the horrors that Lucius brought to life.  He only hoped that they wouldn't find such evidence of the blond haired wizard's depravity this evening as his companions were not nearly as accustomed to such sights.  

The others followed his example of casting silencing charms upon themselves and cautiously entered the dungeons.  

"I don't like this," whispered a nervous Neville as he held his wand directly in front of him, intent on striking anything that came near.  "I don't like this at all."

Hermione looked around and realized with a sickening lurch of her stomach that this was the room in which her polyjuiced counterpart had been tortured and killed. She wrinkled her nose and was certain that she could still smell the scent of blood in the air.  Flashes of images from the pensieve assaulted her mind in rapid succession and she gasped in response to the horror each image held.  She had tried to push the scenes she had viewed in the pensieve from her mind but the truth of the matter was that she still had nightmares in which Lucius Malfoy would lean over her, a feral expression on his face and a butcher knife in hand.  

"Are you alright?" Snape asked, looking at the woman leaning against the cool stones of the dungeon wall for support. Even in the dim light, he could detect the sudden paleness that had settled over her skin. He cringed as he noticed the haunted look that shone back at him from her eyes and cursed Lucius Malfoy for the pain he had inflicted.  "It will be alright Hermione," he assured her, cupping her face gently in his hand. "What happened in the pensieve will not happen again and certainly not to you.  On this you have my word."

The young witch looked up at the dark haired wizard that had come to matter so much to her over the course of the past several months.  She knew that he still suffered his own nightmares of this place, courtesy of Lucius Malfoy, and she was determined that she would not be anymore of a burden to him than necessary.  Lifting her chin she returned his caress.  "You need not worry about me Severus. I will be fine."

Rather than returning her words with some trite answer, he gazed intently into her face as if searching for the truth behind her words.  Gryffindor courage or no, she had witnessed traumatic events in the pensieve, events of the likes that no person should ever be subjected to. He placed a light kiss on her hand in a gesture that spoke of both his concern and his faith in her abilities and they continued to make their way through the maze of rooms that comprised the Malfoy dungeons.  

The tiny group came to a complete halt as they heard the agonized scream of a young woman emanate from a cell just ahead.  It was then that they heard the voices of several men as their laughter and lewd words broke through the silence of the dungeons and drifted back to the Hogwart's group. Raising his wand, Snape prepared to engage the unsuspecting death eaters. 

"Expelliarmus!" he said forcefully as one of the death eaters went flying across the small room.  The other men, though surprised, immediately forgot the young woman chained to the wall and prepared to cast their hexes.  Unfortunately for them, Hermione and the others were prepared for their reactions and began hurling hexes of their own that would not only disarm but also incapacitate the men.  

Four of the death eaters were hit almost immediately by the surprise attack and found themselves in various positions on the cold hard floor of the dungeons, writhing in pain. Neville had fallen victim to a simple but painful hex that left his body covered in boils while a flash of green light denoting a killing curse narrowly sped by Hermione, missing her by mere inches.  The sound of the muggle woman's screams could be heard throughout the entire confrontation.  

"Severus," Christina Saunton yelled, attracting the potion master's attention.  "Two of them are escaping."

Snape looked in the direction that the fellow Slytherin was pointing and silently cursed.  'So much for the element of surprise,' he thought, knowing that the death eaters were going for reinforcements.  Assessing the situation, he turned his attention back toward Christina. 

"Stay here and see to Longbottom," he told the woman while pulling Hermione next to him. "Make certain that you break each of their wands and cast a total body bind on each of the death eaters so that they won't be a problem.  Provided that we are successful in our endeavors this evening, they will be ready to be delivered to Azkaban."

"Anything else?" the woman asked with an amused gleam in her eyes.  

"Cast a stunning spell on the muggle woman and render her unconscious.  It will make things easier for her. She will have to be obliviated later. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do for her companions," he said indicating the stripped and bloodied bodies of the other two woman chained to the wall, their lives extinguished by the Death Eaters activities.  Once you have finished here, join us upstairs," he answered curtly.  "It would seem that Lucius was combining business with pleasure this evening and where there are six death eaters there are likely to be more."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry Potter shook his head in frustration.  His team had finally managed to break through the wards guarding the third floor of Malfoy Manor only to stumble in on a rather unexpected scene.  Passing through the sitting room that led to one of the largest bedroom suites he had ever seen, he had been surprised to hear murmuring. 'More like moaning,' he thought in disgust.  Quietly walking into the bedroom, the team was surprised, shocked and appalled to come upon a sight that could only be described as a Death Eater orgy.  Several crass comments, all quietly whispered, erupted from Fred and Oliver while Ron looked as though he might lose the contents of his stomach at any moment. Quickly aiming their wands, they began hurling hexes at the half-sober men and women that were displayed in various positions and states of dress throughout the room.  Never in his years as an Auror, not even during the numerous raids he had participated in, had he been party to such depravity and blatant lack of general morals.  Oh he had heard of such activities but being a very shy and private man himself, he had placed little value in the stories he had heard bandied about the office. In truth, he would have preferred to face dementors or even a pack of werewolves because at least then his professional instincts could kick in and he could perform his job with a clear mind.  As it was now, he was blushing to the point that his face was almost a perfect match to Ron and Fred's hair. He shifted uncomfortably as he stared at the recently hexed Death Eaters. The entire scene made him feel like a naïve schoolboy rather than the adult he actually was. 'Why couldn't Sirius have pulled this particular assignment?' he moaned to himself thinking how his godfather would have taken a perverse delight in such a scenario.  A delight that Harry, no matter how old or experienced he became, would never share.  

The Death Eaters' surprise was obvious as the strike teams' presence began to seep into to their inebriated, impassioned minds. Seeing that they were obviously not expecting company, and certainly not the type of company that would sneak in through a third story window, they were easy targets since most were nowhere near their clothing let alone their wands. Fred began to laugh as one of the Death Eaters picked up his wand and stood to fire off a curse, only to fall to the floor in a heap of flailing limbs as his trousers fell and pooled around his ankles. 

However, as luck would have it, one lone Death Eater that had evidently just entered the room, managed to escape before the team could stun him. Giving Fred and Oliver orders to secure the room, Harry motioned for Ron to follow and the two men went off in pursuit of the wayward Death Eater before he could alert the others to their presence.  

It was precisely because of this reason that Harry now found himself alone, quietly making his way through the huge maze of corridors and rooms that comprised the ground floor of Malfoy Manor. He had become separated from Ron moments before when they had come to a long corridor flanked by a network of several smaller corridors.  Looking around at the sparsely furnished rooms, he guessed that he had ended up in an area of the Manor assigned to the servants.  He had no doubt that his friend would catch up with him eventually and only hoped that the youngest Weasley didn't run into a group of Death Eaters in the meantime. Sighing to himself, he readied his wand and continued his search for the elusive Death Eater.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Snape and Hermione had followed the fleeing Death Eaters to the top of the stairway leading to the ground floor of Malfoy Manor.  Opening the door that separated the stairway from the main floor, they peered out in dismay, as the only thing that greeted their eyes was a large library stocked with numerous shelves of tomes. Tomes which Hermione would have dearly loved to study had they not been in the process of fighting the Dark Lord's minions. She sighed as she realized that, aside from themselves, the room was empty.

Suddenly, a shadow glided across the wall by the doorway, brought to life by the flickering candles that were magically ensconced on the walls of the hallway.  Motioning to Hermione to quietly hide behind one of the oversized shelves, Snape pulled his wand and lunged for the shadow that had momentarily stopped just outside the door. 

"Geofffome!" mumbled the person that the potions master had just unceremoniously captured and dragged back into the room.  Looking down at his captive, Snape shook his head in disgust and removed his hand from the struggling man's mouth. 

"Get off of me!" came the angry voice of Ronald Weasley. Turning around to face his captor, the red haired man nearly choked as he realized that the figure standing behind him was not that of a Death Eater but was instead that of Severus Snape.

"Mr. Weasley, what an unpleasant surprise," the potions master drawled and motioned for Hermione to come out from her hiding place behind the shelving unit. 

"Ron!" she exclaimed happily, enfolding her friend in a sisterly hug. "What are you doing here? I thought you were supposed to be upstairs with Harry and the others?"

"Well, we sort of dropped in on a Death Eater orgy but one got away so Harry and I ran after him only…"

"Only you got separated from Mr. Potter and ended up being captured by your own side," Snape finished for him with a sneer. 

"Yeah, something like that," he agreed with an embarrassed smile.

"No matter," Hermione said decisively. "We ran into a torture scene downstairs in the dungeons and two of the Death Eaters managed to get away.  You can help us search for them while we look for Harry."

A moment later the young woman had headed off down the hall, wand at the ready, followed by two disgruntled men. 

She had just turned into a large room that looked to be some sort of a study when she felt a wand jabbed into her chest. Looking up, she gasped in surprise as she immediately recognized the face of the man who stood before her. 

The potions master had just rounded the corner, silently cursing the fact that he had allowed Hermione to get ahead of him, when Ron came barreling into him from behind. Preparing to snap out a comment regarding the younger man's incompetence, he stopped abruptly as he looked up just in time to see Edgar Saunton raise his wand and point it directly at Hermione's chest.  

"Well, well, well," the self-serving man chuckled evilly seeing Severus and Ron. "And who do we have here?  Severus Snape.  The Dark Lord will be very happy to see you."

Snape merely glared at the man but remained quiet.  'Let him boast,' an inner voice sneered.  'He'll grow careless and then you will have the element of surprise.'  

That of course was exactly what the potions master was counting on as Saunton, one of Voldemort's most loyal Death Eaters, continued to reprimand him for being both a coward and a traitor to their cause.  

"And who might this be?" Saunton asked, turning a critical eye to lustfully peruse Hermione's petite figure.  "I know, you must be Severus' little mudblood whore that Lucius has been telling us about these past few months.  Oh I will _definitely_ enjoy getting to know you better," he said, reaching out to grab a handful of hair and pull her next to him. 

'Why do they always have to go for the hair?' she asked herself, remembering suffering a similar treatment at the hands of Lucius Malfoy that day in Flourish and Blotts. 'And the wizarding world actually believes it has evolved from such Neanderthal behavior!'

Snape had been eyeing Saunton with only the briefest of glances at Hermione to ensure that she was alright but upon seeing the man treat her so roughly, the potions master nearly flew from his position and strangled the man with his bare hands.  He remembered a promise he had made to himself when she had returned from Saunton Manor and confided in him that she had suffered Crucio as a direct result of this maniac's whims.  His hands clenched into fists. He had sworn then that he would kill the bastard and it looked like fate was granting him that chance. Raising his wand arm slightly he prepared to cast the one curse that would remove Edgar Saunton from their lives forever. 

Saunton however noticed the movement and it was just enough to distract him into loosening his hold on Hermione ever so slightly.  Surreptitiously reaching for her wand, she pointed it backwards, inches away from the man's groin and whispered a little known incantation.  All of a sudden an agonized scream filled the air as Edgar Saunton released his grip on her and dropped to the floor, hunched over in pain. 

"Well, it wasn't Crucio," she said almost apologetically to the potions master as he came to stand beside her and stare at her handiwork.

"It might as well have been," he commented with a grimace, eyeing the writhing man with what could almost be a momentary bout of sympathy from one wizard to another.

Leaning down to retrieve the Death Eater's wand, Hermione broke it in half and tossed it back on the floor while Snape cast a full body bind to ensure he wouldn't be tempted to follow them.  Although he seriously doubted that the man would be up to much of anything, let alone combat, considering what his lover had just done.

"We need to catch up with Harry," she said matter-of-factly and turned to continue down the corridor. 

"Professor," Ron asked hesitantly, "what exactly did she just do to him?"

"She cast a very rare and painful spell that makes a certain part of his… anatomy feel as if it is being stabbed repeatedly with something akin to a butcher's knife," Snape said as he turned to follow the young woman down the corridor.

"I told you she was a bit scary," the red haired man mumbled with an audible gulp, giving the stricken Death Eater one final look before departing. 

"You are incorrect as usual Mr. Weasley," Snape commented dryly. 

"How's that?" Ron asked, his tone suggesting that he had taken offense to his former professor's words. 

"She's not 'a bit' scary," the potions master corrected as if his point would be obvious even to a frightened first year student. 

"No?" the younger man questioned in exasperation.

"No," Snape said with a conspiratorial grin at Hermione's childhood friend. "She's a lot scary."

And upon that note the two men left the stunned but still agonized Death Eater to his fate and hurried to catch up with the witch that had once again left them reeling in admiration. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Sirius Black was beginning to think that Dumbledore's information had been nothing more than a hoax.  His team had finally managed to dismantle the numerous wards that guarded the East side of the Manor but so far they had found nothing to suggest that a Death Eater meeting had taken place.  For that matter, they hadn't found any sign of Lucius Malfoy or the Dark Lord either. 

"Perhaps they decided to hold the meeting elsewhere," Remus suggested, noticing his friend's frustration. 

"Maybe," he agreed gruffly.

"They could be in another section of the Manor," George said, eyeing the opulence of his surroundings in awe.  "After all, this place is as big as a bloody castle."

"George Weasley" his mother whispered harshly, "it is nothing of the sort."   

The red haired man wisely refrained from commenting but looked at the others with an expression that clearly stated he had not changed his mind, regardless of his mother's thoughts on the subject.   

"We'll head downstairs and see if we can meet up with Dumbledore and the others," Black decided abruptly.  "Maybe they've had better luck."            

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Harry had finally caught up with the elusive Death Eater in what looked to be the formal dining room. Turning to face the man who was now taking cover behind a large china cabinet, he aimed his wand and cast a stunning spell that missed the Death Eater but hit the glass panel of the cabinet causing it to shatter into hundreds of tiny pieces. 

'Great,' the young man thought to himself, lightly fingering his scar that had begun to ache. 'I need to rejoin the others and I'm stuck here playing tea party with this guy.'

His thoughts were cut short as he ducked a particularly lethal dark curse that hit the wall behind him and harmlessly dissipated.

Several more hexes were cast as they battled for supremacy.  Finally, Harry cast a confundus spell to disorient and confuse the man and quickly followed it with an ocular impairment charm that would temporarily disable his sight. The man covered his eyes and fell to his knees, disoriented and blind. The Boy-Who-Lived grimaced as he heard the Death Eater shriek yet again when his knees came in contact with the broken shards of glass that littered the ornate tile.  Tiny rips in the fabric of his trousers appeared as the shards poked and twisted their way into the flesh beneath causing thin lines of blood to slowly trickle from the fresh wounds. 

Standing up from his crouched position behind the long dining table, Harry carefully walked over to the Death Eater and cast a stunning spell that would render the man unconscious for quite some time. He then retrieved the man's wand and placed it in the pocket of his robes before setting off in search of his lost red haired friend who, unbeknownst to Harry, had just managed to find himself in yet another scrape.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I'm sure I heard something over there," Ron told his companions and headed for an elegantly decorated area that looked to be some type of music room. The room was light and airy and boasted of a hulking grand piano, which was prominently displayed toward the back of the room.

"But no one is here," Hermione said as they entered the room and found no signs whatsoever of it being occupied by either Voldemort or any of his death eaters.  

"I wouldn't be so certain of that my dear," came a voice from the doorway that both Hermione and Severus knew all too well.  Turning around to face the owner of the voice, they were dismayed to see Lucius Malfoy blocking the entrance, his wand pointed directly at them.

"Severus, so nice of you to drop by for a visit. And look, you've brought your friends with you," Malfoy said in a voice that oozed venom.

"Lucius," Snape spat between gritted teeth. "Let them go." 

"Oh, I don't think so. You see Severus, I was right, as usual.  I told you that it was merely a matter of time before I caught up to you and your mudblood and here you both are at the same time. How convenient. And you brought along a Weasley too.  What an added bonus. You have chosen poorly in regards to your allegiance and now you will suffer the consequences."

"You always were too sure of yourself for your own good," Snape drawled in a disinterested voice. 

"So you have always said and yet, I am the one standing here with the advantage. At least I was not fool enough to betray all that I believe in, unlike yourself who abandoned your principles just as you abandoned your own kind.  The Dark Lord gave you all that you could have asked and what did you do? You ran off and cowered behind the robes of a doddering old man," Lucius said, his lip curling in disgust at the thought of his one-time friend choosing a muggle-loving fool like Albus Dumbledore over his pureblooded brethren. 

"Voldemort gave me nothing except the right to do his bidding Lucius. We are nothing more than puppets whose strings are to be manipulated in whatever way he deems appropriate, toys for his amusement," Snape replied, quietly seething behind the façade of indifference he forced himself to project to the blond haired wizard.  

"I am no puppet and you would have had your heart's desire," Malfoy spat "along with just about anything else you wanted as well.  If you wanted the mudblood whore so badly, the Dark Lord would have probably even gifted her to you as a toy to do with as you pleased. Of course you may have had to share from time to time but still, it certainly would have been better than the alternative with which you now face. Especially since it seems we will have her in the end after all. Oh not to worry Severus, I will make certain that she lasts longer than her counterpart from the pensieve.  Perhaps, if you're a good little boy, the Dark Lord might even permit you to watch as we take turns… "

Lucius didn't get a chance to finish his sentence as Snape's resolve snapped and his temper overtook him. All thoughts of remaining calm and indifferent flew immediately from his head as a dark ferocity settled over his countenance.  He'd be damned if he would allow Lucius to defile her and if his own death was the price it took to prevent such a monstrosity then so be it.  The potions master reached for his wand and lunged at the boastful Death Eater, intent on gouging his leering eyes straight from their sockets and stomping on them until they were nothing more than a bloodied pulp. Very much in the same manner one would use to stomp grapes when making wine. 

Unfortunately, Lucius was prepared for such a reaction as he had been deliberately baiting the one-time Death Eater in the hopes of provoking his possessive temper. 

"Temper, temper Severus," Malfoy said, pointing his wand directly at Hermione and casting Crucio.

Hermione fell to her knees with a scream of pure pain that tore through the room as it tore through Snape's heart. The curse quickly made its way throughout her body causing every nerve ending to shout in response as it rained fire throughout her muscles. Still, the pain still did not recede.  Gathering what little strength she could muster, she raised her head and was surprised to see Harry slip into the room to silently stand behind the blood thirsty Death Eater. Turning her attention towards Severus so as not to give Harry's position away, she was even more surprised to find that the Dark Lord himself had just entered through the doorway at the back of the room and now stood a few feet behind Snape. 

Hermione would have gasped in shock had she been able to pull enough strength together to do so.  Voldemort was nothing more than a shell of his former self and it was obvious that he was barely even able to stand. His limbs shook violently, dark spots mottled splitting skin that had taken on a grayish cast, his eyes oozed a yellowish fluid and his breath came forth from his body in short wheezing bursts. And if that wasn't horrendous enough, he smelled of rotting flesh. More accurately, he smelled of walking death.  She barely recognized him as the creature she spoke with the night of the Saunton dinner party. 

"Finish him off Lucius," the Dark Lord rasped, looking as if even that small sentence was enough to overcome him and bring him within a heartbeat of death. "I will allow you to amuse yourself with the mudblood in whatever way you wish but the traitor dies now!"

"Yes my Lord," Malfoy muttered, obviously unhappy with the thought of having his playtime interrupted.  Pointing his wand at the potions master, he prepared to cast the killing curse while at the same time, standing unseen but directly behind him, Harry Potter mimicked his movements.  "Avad…"

With a desperate burst of adrenaline that Hermione, and probably no one else, would have credited the young witch with, she lunged herself at Severus and collapsed in his arms just as her hand made contact with a small round object hidden in the pocket of her robe. 

"Sublatio in arcem," she whispered just as two deadly flashes of green light came flying toward them.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Snape felt the familiar yet nauseating tug at his navel as the portkey pulled his body from Malfoy Manor. He had watched, almost as if in slow motion, as the blaze of deadly green light shot straight out of Lucius' wand and made its way directly toward him. He remembered a part of his mind registering the fact that Hermione, laden with the effects of the Cruciatus, had jerkily launched herself into his arms at the last second, directly in the path of the killing curse, as the light from the Unforgivable came within mere inches of his chest.  He remembered hearing her whisper something that sounded suspiciously like Latin, an incantation perhaps, before realizing that she had made a last ditch effort to pull them to safety by using the portkey he had given her the day she left for Saunton Manor. 

The pulling and spinning stopped just as suddenly as it had begun and the potions master looked around to realize that he had was standing outside the gates of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. 'We made it,' he thought to himself with more than a small touch of relief. Suddenly he felt the sharp pull of something tugging downwards on his arms. Looking down to inquire as to the source, he gasped in shock as he realized that the weight he felt was that of Hermione's petite form. Only his quick reflexes caught her limp body as it attempted to complete its descent toward the soft ground below. A feeling of panic invaded his soul as he remembered just how close to the killing curse she had been and in a desperate action, he touched his fingers to the base of her neck.  His eyes began to tear as he frantically groped at the fragile skin in an effort to find the elusive pulse that would assure him she was okay. Fractions of seconds seemed like hours and each time he was met with the same heart wrenching results. 

Hermione Granger did not only lack a pulse, she was no longer breathing. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  I realize that this was an exceptionally long chapter (twice as long as most of the other chapters) and I seriously thought about dividing it into two chapters and posting it in segments over the next few days but I opted against it.  Hopefully, the length of this chapter didn't deter anyone G.  As always, thanks for your reviews during the last posting and I would ask (as usual) that you leave a review and let me know what you thought about the chapter.  

~Jules    


	34. Chapter ThirtyFour

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Thirty-Four 

Mad-Eye Moody had just about had enough of skulking quietly around Malfoy Manor.  He was the type of wizard that would rather just charge in and take care of a situation rather than hold back and play hide-and-seek. If he hadn't respected Albus Dumbledore to the degree that he did, he might very well have packed up his wand and headed off on his own to round up the Dark Lord's minions.

"Albus," Minerva whispered and pointed toward a doorway at the end of the corridor.  "I think we found them."

Dumbledore raised his hand in a gesture that politely requested the team's silence and cocked his head ever so slightly.  After a moment, he nodded to himself and turned his attention back to the group that was staring at him expectantly.  

"It would seem that we have indeed 'found them,'" he agreed, a small smile lighting up his facee as he mimicked the deputy headmistress' words.  "Or at least we have found some of them."

"Let's just go in there and get this over with," Mad-Eye exclaimed impatiently.  It was a sentiment that was echoed whole-heartedly by Madam Hooch.  

"How many do you think there are Albus?" McGonagall asked, giving the other two members of the team a disapproving look.

"That would be difficult to say," the wizard replied thoughtfully. "It would seem that they are currently engaged in some type of group discussion although I unable to discern more than a few voices."

"Let's go then!" Mad-Eye whispered fiercely and readied his wand. 

"Perhaps we should attempt to draw them out of the room?" the transfiguration professor suggested, preferring logic and planning as opposed to blindly rushing forth.  "That might make it easier to disarm them rather than charging in and facing them all at one time."

"Agreed," the headmaster answered, staring intently at Moody to convey a silent warning that he was not to do otherwise. "Does anyone have any ideas as to how we should distract them?"

"Rats," the flying instructor said suddenly, a very determined expression on her face.

"I beg your pardon?" McGonagall questioned in surprise. 

"I said _RATS_," Madam Hooch replied with a smug grin.  "You are an expert in transfiguration.  Suppose you were to transfigure several things into a pack of rats and let them loose?"

"The Death Eaters will see them scurrying past their location and around the corner and follow after them," Mad-Eye said nodding his head in approval.  "It just might work."

"Albus?" the transfiguration professor questioned, seeking the older wizard's seal of approval on the plan.

"What better way to attract a snake then to present it with a rat?" he agreed, his eyes twinkling.

"Very well," she answered, "but I will need something to transfigure."

"Perhaps these will suffice?" the headmaster suggested pulling a handful of lemon drops from his pocket and handing them to the skeptical looking Gryffindor. 

"Lemon drops?" Mad-Eye exclaimed, his voice rising slightly. "Don't you ever go anywhere without those things Albus?"

"Apparently not," Minerva replied, one eyebrow raised.  Taking the sweets from the headmaster's withered hand, she carefully laid them on the floor. Positioning her wand, she uttered the complicated incantation that would transfigure the inanimate objects into scurrying, fur-covered rodents. In response to the incantation, a burst of bright light appeared and receded leaving nine dazed and confused looking rats staring up at the four figures surrounding them. 

Raising his own wand, Dumbledore conjured a small burst of air that raced through the corridor and sent the rodents scampering in the direction of the Death Eaters. Moments later, the faces of several bewildered Death Eaters appeared and hurried off to take care of the unusual infestation.

"We've got those two," Moody called excitedly and ran off in pursuit of the unsuspecting Death Eaters with Madam Hooch close on his heels.

"You know Minerva, it would seem that those two are getting along quite well," Dumbledore observed, his eyes twinkling as he watched the Auror and Hogwart's flying instructor disappear around the corner.

"Really Albus," McGonagall sighed in exasperation, "This is no time for your matchmaking games."

"Perhaps not," he conceded regretfully. "It would appear that it is just you and I Minerva," Dumbledore told the woman with a smile.  

Before she could open her mouth to respond, a deep voice sounded just behind them. 

"Please tell us that you all have actually managed to find something." 

"Merlin!" the transfiguration professor whispered in irritation. "Sirius, do you have to sneak up on a person like that?"

"I could go running through the hallway making my presence known to everyone if you prefer," he answered with a roguish wink of his eye.

"You forget that your womanizing ploys don't work on me," Minerva huffed.

"So you keep telling me love," he retorted playfully. Turning his attention to Dumbledore he quickly brought the wizard up to date on their status. 

"Well, by the sounds of things I'd say there are still several more of them," George noted, referring to the Death Eaters that had remained. "How are we going to draw them out?"

"Minerva could transfigure something more beneficial this time," Black suggested. 

"And what would you suggest I create for you Mr. Black?" she asked with a disapproving air. 

"How about a couple of nubile young women? I bet they'd all leave the room for that!" the wizard said drawing hushed laughter from the rest of the group and a look of approach from the Head of Gryffindor House. 

"What if the animagi amongst us transform into their animagus forms and simply walk right in?" Remus suggested quietly. Seeing the confused expressions on the faces of his comrades, he proceeded to explain his idea.  

"The animagi could enter the room with a minimum of suspicion and draw attention away from the doorway while the rest of us enter the room.  It's not without risks but it might be our best chance since they wouldn't be expecting it."

Another moment of murmuring took place amongst the group when Dumbledore intervened by holding up his hand, indicating his wish for silence. "Minerva and Sirius will transform into their animagus forms and enter the room where they will attempt to draw the Death Eater's attention away from the doorway.  They will have sixty seconds to accomplish this before we enter the room. Does everyone agree?"   

After a unanimous consensus, Sirius transformed into his dog form while McGonagall quickly transformed into a cat.  Side by side, they made their way down the hallway and casually strolled into the room to note the presence of seven Death Eaters.

"Hey McNair," a rather wiry looking man called.  "When did Lucius get a couple of new pets?"

"How should I know?" the other man grumbled, disdainfully eyeing the animals.  "I thought he hated cats!"

The words were barely out of his mouth when bursts of light began flying toward the small assembly of comfortably seated Death Eaters.  Turning their attention to the doorway, they were surprised to see Albus Dumbledore standing before them, wand raised and flanked by several other wizards and a witch. 

In an attempt to recover from their momentary surprise, they grabbed their wands and hurled a couple of poorly aimed hexes.  Again they found themselves in shock as additional hexes were being aimed at them from directly behind their backs.  Turning quickly, McNair was dismayed to notice that the two animals that had sauntered in only moments before were actually Sirius Black and Minerva McGonagall.  

Unprepared for the attack and now flanked on both sides by their enemy, the Death Eaters quickly fell victim to the hexes.  Another moment passed and the Dark Lord's minions not only found themselves bound and gagged but wandless as well.

"They're kind of thick," George noted, looking at the forms of the captive men.

"In what way Mr. Weasley?" his former Head of House asked.

"Well, they saw a cat and dog stroll right in here as friendly as can be and they barely even questioned it," he exclaimed shaking his head in disbelief as he collected the dark wizards' wands.

"Molly," the headmaster said to the woman who had just finished securing one of the Death Eaters, "The apparition wards surrounding the Manor have been dismantled. I would like for you and Professor McGonagall to apparate to the Ministry of Magic and inform them of what has transpired here this evening.  They will need to send several Aurors in order to escort these men back to the Ministry and then, most likely, to Azkaban."

The two witches disappeared with a small 'pop' and Dumbledore returned his attention to the remaining members of the group.  "And now, I think it is time to attempt to regroup with the other strike teams and continue our attack.  We still have the small matter of finding and defeating Voldemort."

And on that note, the group exited the room leaving the stunned and bound Death Eaters to await the arrival of the Ministry Aurors.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Snape looked down at the woman lying motionless in his arms and let loose an anguished scream of despair that flew through the night like a bird with wings.  'This is my fault,' he told himself repeatedly, much like a broken muggle record.  Lifting her tiny body in his arms and clutching her tightly to his chest, he half ran, half stumbled across the terrain of the castle grounds.  'Damn Gryffindor foolhardiness. What in Merlin's name was she thinking by throwing herself in front of the killing curse? Even with the portkey the risks were too great. Had I only made more of an effort to stop her from participating tonight then none of this would have happened.  Damn it all to Hades Hermione, I am not worth it!'

Reaching the castle doors, he magically willed them open, and stormed inside. She couldn't be dead; surely the fates wouldn't allow them to come so far simply to take the only thing that meant anything at all to him? But how could she survive the killing curse?  As far as he knew no one ever had, with the exception of Potter and that was because of his mother's love and sacrifice.  No, miracles such as that did not happen every day and they certainly did not happen to the likes of Severus Snape.   

He was screaming Poppy's name before he even reached the door to the infirmary and the medi-witch appeared just as he burst into the room.

"Severus Snape, what is all this racket?" she exclaimed angrily and then stopped as she saw Hermione's still form pressed tightly to his chest.  He looked so lost as he stood there clutching the young woman to him as if mere determination were more than enough to will her back to the living. The medi-witch's heart went out to the man that usually displayed such a cold persona to the world.  

"Severus, what happened?" she asked pulling out her wand and taking readings while simultaneously directing him to lay Hermione on one of the empty hospital beds.  

"We were battling with Lucius Malfoy," he said breathing heavily from the strain of running through the castle. "Lucius cast Crucio on her and then cast the killing curse towards me. She threw herself in front of the curse and portkeyed us out of there.  I thought we had made it in time. The curse was within inches but I thought we had made it."

"Severus, I need for you to let go of her," Madam Pomfrey said gently but with an underlying urgency to her voice.  When the potions master did not comply, she spoke a little more harshly.  "Severus, I can't save her if you're standing there in my way impeding me from doing my job.  Now let go of her and sit over there!"

The wizard merely looked up and blinked as her words permeated his addled mind.  'I can't save her if…' the medi-witch had said.  'But how can you save someone from the killing curse after they are dead?'

Seeing his confusion, Madam Pomfrey spoke quickly whilst casting numerous healing spells. "She wasn't hit with the killing curse although I have no doubt that she would have been had you remained a second or two longer.  The readings show that her body was subjected to an immense amount of dark magic."

"But then, how…?"

"You said that she was hit with the Cruciatus?" the medi-witch asked, casting additional healing spells and shaking her head when Hermione's condition failed to improve.

"Yes. There were also two confrontations earlier in the evening with the Dementors," he replied and stopped suddenly as he saw the tiniest twinge of relief wash over Madam Pomfrey's face.

"I've managed to regain the slightest hint of a pulse but she is still in jeopardy," Poppy said, lifting the woman's head carefully to pour a dark colored potion down her throat. "To answer your question though, I believe that her body was unable to stand up to the stress of the Cruciatus and the journey back by portkey.  You know as well as I do how draining that method of travel is on a body." 

"Then she will be alright?" he asked hardly daring to give voice to such hope lest fate hear him and snatch her away. 

"It is too early to say," Poppy told him kindly. "I've done everything that I can but with her magical energy having been drained to such an extent and the stress on her body from the Cruciatus and the trip home, I just don't know. All we can do now is wait."

"Is there nothing that I can do to help Poppy?" the potions master asked, feeling utterly helpless and at a complete loss as he stood motionlessly watching the scene play out before him.

"You can go back and assist Albus and the others," she answered gently.

"What?" his voice rose and his temper flared.  "I will not leave her. She is here because of me and I will not leave until I know, without doubt, that she will make a full recovery."

"She is here because she chose to be," the medi-witch said plainly. "Hermione Granger is a very intelligent witch and I have no doubt that she knew exactly what she was doing.  I see no marks on her indicating that anyone had to twist her arm and force her into doing something against her will so you can just stop your with the self recriminations now."

"Poppy…" Snape's voice took on a silky note that most would have realized was a warning that she had gone too far. 

"Don't you 'Poppy' me Severus Snape," she retorted in a tone of voice that reminded him of his mother. "That girl loves you, it's clear to anyone who sees the two of you together and if you have even the slightest feelings for her at all then you'll stop this nonsense right this instant. She would not want you to feel like this."

"I am not leaving her," he repeated sullenly, arms crossed in front of his chest, looking tall and foreboding.

"Yes, you will," Poppy answered a little more gently.  "You are needed at Malfoy Manor.  It will do her little good to fight her way back to recovery only to wake up to a world in which Voldemort has claimed victory."

"But…"

"Severus, I will remain with her and as soon as the battle is over you may return and stay with her for as long as you like. There is nothing you can do here but there is still so much to be done out there." 

A look of understanding passed between them and Severus sighed, knowing that she was right. He also realized that Hermione would expect no less from him.  Bending over the Gryffindor's motionless body, he gently laid a kiss upon her forehead and softly squeezed the deathly pale hand that rested atop the crisp white cotton sheet of the hospital bed. 

"I shall return my love," he vowed, an uncharacteristic tear glistening in his eye. Standing up, he straightened his robes before leaving the infirmary with the determined air of a man who would not be thwarted a second time.    

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note: I had hoped to end the battle scene with this chapter, however this felt like a good stopping point.  Next chapter is the final confrontation and then perhaps after that--- an epilogue maybe? To everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I thank you ever so much.  Yes, I realize it was an unusually cruel cliffhanger but the story just kind of seems to scream out for them G  

~Jules  


	35. Chapter ThirtyFive

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Thirty-Five 

Harry observed the scene playing out before him in absolute horror.  He had heard the low murmur of voices from somewhere close by and had been making his way to that particular location when an agonized scream pierced the otherwise silent corridor. The thing that startled him most was that the woman sounded like Hermione. The shrieking continued to assault his ears and he quickened his pace toward the room in question. Cautiously stepping underneath the frame of the doorway, he observed the figures of Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. And there in the midst of it all, having just entered the room to stand behind the potions master, although Harry thought that 'stagger' might have been a more appropriate word, was Voldemort himself. 

The Boy-Who-Lived took a hard look at the creature that had plagued him for most of his life. 'The potion really worked' he thought noticing the pallor of the Dark Lord's skin and the slow, jerky movements as he walked into the room.  Voldemort looked, for all intent purposes, as if he was knocking on death's door and the Gryffindor in Harry almost reproached himself for feeling nothing more than a churlish sort of relief. 

"Finish him off Lucius," he heard the Dark Lord rasp, indicating that Snape was to be disposed of immediately. "I will allow you to amuse yourself with the mudblood in whatever way you wish but the traitor dies now!"

"Not this time," Harry muttered softly through clenched teeth, remembering how so many of his friends and colleagues had suffered and died at the hands of the Death Eaters in the past. Glancing at Hermione who was still under the effects of the Cruciatus, he pointed his wand at the blond haired wizard and angrily whispered "Avada Kedavra."  A deadly green light burst forth from its tip at precisely the same time Malfoy cast his own killing curse at Snape.  

Everything from that point forward seemed to play out in slow motion as Harry observed, with horrified reluctance, the scene that was to follow. Try as he might, there was just not enough time to alter the course of the events to come.  Hermione's petite form, still quivering from the effects of the Cruciatus, leaped into the air to land in the arms of the startled potions master. Her headlong dive had delivered her straight into the path of the killing curse and The Boy-Who-Lived saw the glow of the deadly green light shine eerily upon her back as it moved within inches of its new target. At what seemed to be the last possible moment, he saw her lips move for what could have been nothing more than a fraction of a second and the couple vanished into nothingness.  

Simultaneous yells of anger emanated from both Lucius and Voldemort as the couple disappeared from the room. The cries ended when the deadly green light of Harry's killing curse squarely struck Lucius in the back sending the man lurching face forward to the floor, his gray eyes glazed and unseeing during his final descent. 

The Dark Lord's eyes widened in fear as his mind registered the death of his second-in-command and he had barely had time to move in order to avoid being hit with Lucius' killing curse. A curse that had been intended for Snape but now passed through empty air to collide with the grand piano. The shattering of wood was heard by all present as the curse met its unintended mark and the once grandiose instrument was reduced to a pile of splinters and rubble.

"Harry Potter," the Dark Lord spat and quickly aimed a stunning spell at an unsuspecting Ron. "We meet again."

"For the last time," Harry told the creature that faced him from across the room. Lifting his wand, he hurled a disarming hex at the Dark Lord who had simultaneously cast his own hex toward the young man. 

With a flash of light, the curses connected causing a rainbow of light to shine throughout the room like sunlight through a prism.  Their wands, both sharing a connection of phoenix feather cores, began to draw together crossing the space of the room until they once again reunited.  A burst of energy shot forth from the magical instruments knocking both Harry and Voldemort to the ground before the spectrum of light ceased and the wands fell to the floor, welded together and useless to either wizard. 

"You are just as troublesome as your parents Potter," the Dark Lord rasped. "Just as much of a Good Samaritan."

A 'pop' was heard and the men looked over to see the dark clad figure of Severus Snape apparate into the room, his expression thunderous. Taking but a mere second to evaluate the situation, he pointed his wand at an unconscious Ron Weasley and murmured one solitary word. "Enervate."

The red haired man awoke from his magically induced stupor and hesitantly stood, his wand poised in front of him, as he surveyed the situation.

A softer 'pop' was heard and the assembly looked over to see Voldemort attempting to apparate from the room in an effort to withdraw to safety. 

"I do not think that you'll find apparition a possibility Tom," the voice of Albus Dumbledore rang out from the doorway.

"What have you done you meddling old fool?" he hissed, retreating towards the door he had entered through only moments before. 

"I saw Severus apparate in and realized that the apparition wards were still down," the headmaster replied solemnly.  "I suspected that, given the unevenness of the odds and the lack of a wand, that you might try to…how do the muggles say it…ah yes, you might try to 'make a break' for it. Therefore, I reinstated the wards."

Voldemort's face became a picture of intense fury as he realized the futility of his position.  Turning to make a run for the door, he was aghast to find that Ron had taken advantage of his momentary preoccupation with Dumbledore to quietly sneak to the entrance and effectively bar his only means of escape.

"And now, I think this has been allowed to continue for long enough," the headmaster said and raised his wand. "Gentlemen, if you would be so kind as to assist me?"

Snape aimed his wand directly at Voldemort's heart, as did Ron and the headmaster. Harry remembered the wand he had taken off of one of the death eaters earlier that evening and pulled it from his robes, mimicking the other men's stances.

"Avada Kedavra," they called in unison as if acknowledging some unspoken cue. 

Voldemort screamed in agony as the four strands of green light connected with his body and he writhed and twisted much the same way in which a serpent slithers along the ground.  A final hellish sound emanated from deep within the creature's throat and suddenly, the light vanished and the form of the Dark Lord crumpled to the ground.

A silence blanketed the room as each of the wizards momentarily lost themselves within their own thoughts. 

"Is he…dead?" Ron finally asked, a look of suspicion on his face as if he suspected Voldemort of playing a prank.

"Yes Mr. Weasley," the headmaster answered as he lowered his wand and walked toward the corpse, "I think it is finally safe to say that he is…dead."

A sharp cry pierced the room and the wizards looked over to see Snape grasp his forearm, his bodied doubled over in pain. 

"Professor," Harry called and ran over to kneel beside him.

The pain ended just as suddenly as it began and Snape looked down to examine his arm.  "It's gone," he whispered in shock and looked toward Dumbledore in askance of an explanation.  "How?"

"I am not completely certain but I would theorize that the Dark Mark was a direct link to Voldemort himself; a link to both his magical energy and his emotions," the aged wizard explained. "When Voldemort's life came to an end, so did any type of magical link he maintained, including the link to his Death Eaters."

"Are you alright professor?" Harry asked quietly.

"It felt as if someone had cast a freezing charm on the Mark," he said in wonder not fully hearing Harry's words. 

"The Mark was embedded into your skin through a process of great heat," the headmaster explained, "therefore it is only appropriate that the opposite would be necessary to remove any remaining vestiges of it from your body. I would imagine that we should see a similar occurrence amongst the rest of Voldemort's followers as well." 

"That's going to make it difficult to capture and convict the remaining Death Eaters," Harry said, his Auror instincts already kicking in and formulating alternative methods they might pursue.

"I think," Snape answered, "you'll find that with the Dark Lord finally dead, they will all too willingly turn on one another as a means of procuring a lighter sentence for themselves.  And if that doesn't work then Veritaserum will."

"Hey, where's Hermione?" Ron asked, just realizing that she hadn't apparated back to the Manor with Snape. 

"Merlin!" Snape swore and looked to Dumbledore as if he were a child seeking permission to do something. "Hermione is in the infirmary under Poppy's care.  I need to get back to her Albus."

"Will she be alright?" both Harry and Ron asked at the same time. 

"When we arrived at the gates of the castle she wasn't breathing," Snape explained, realizing that the men standing in front of him had every right to question her current condition. "Poppy managed to revive her but her condition, at least when I left, was still tentative at best."

"She couldn't have been hit with the killing curse," Harry mused. "It continued on toward Voldemort after the two of you disappeared."

"No, Poppy feels that it was a combination of events that caused too much strain on her body and weakened her magical energies," the potions master answered.

"I think that we can finish things up here," the headmaster said, hearing evidence of the Ministry's arrival from down the hall. "However, before you return to Hogwarts, there is just one thing I would ask of you."

Severus turned to look at the lifeless body of Voldemort and nodded his head in agreement.  The two wizards stood on opposite sides of the figure and pointed their wands directly at it. Together, they began muttering the words to a very dark, ancient curse that would bind the soul of a being to its own body for eternity.  A flash of red light glowed around the carcass of the Dark Lord and ebbed into his skin as the incantation came to an end.  Dumbledore then pointed his wand at the shell that once was Lord Voldemort and muttered "incendio" sending the body into a burst of flames. Snape performed a similar spell on the joined wands ensuring that they would never be utilized again.

"It looks like you're going to need a new wand Harry," Ron told his friend with an audible gulp after witnessing such displays of power from the other two wizards. 

"I think Mr. Ollivander will understand," the Boy-Who-Lived assured his red haired young friend.   

"Severus," the headmaster said, pulling his attention from the pile of ash that once was the Dark Lord, "I think it is time for you to return to Hogwarts where I am sure that you will find a young witch that will be very relieved to see you." 

Snape stood back and waited expectantly as the older wizard lowered the apparition wards on Malfoy Manor. A moment later a definitive 'pop' echoed throughout the room and the darkly clad figure of Severus Snape vanished from sight. 

"Albus," the tense voice of Minerva McGonagall called just before the witch appeared at the doorway flanked by two Aurors from the Ministry.  "There you are. Ministry officials are making a final sweep of the Manor now but it looks like we have found everyone except Lucius Malfoy and the Dark Lord."

"Not to worry Minerva," the headmaster answered popping his only remaining lemon drop into his mouth. "I believe you will find Mr. Malfoy over there and Voldemort is right over here."

Looking in the directions indicated by the headmaster, the transfiguration professor gasped when she saw the lifeless body of Lucius Malfoy that had been propped on the sofa by Ron and Harry just moments before. However, that reaction was completely overshadowed by her response to the simmering pile of ashes that once comprised the being of Voldemort. 

"Oh my," she said in a shaky voice. "That means that it's really over?"

"It would appear so," Dumbledore answered, his eyes twinkling like an overdone fireworks display. Turning his attention to the Boy-Who-Lived-Yet-Again he merely said, "Harry, seeing that you are one of the Ministry's senior Aurors, why don't you coordinate the remainder of the final clean-up while I have a talk with the Minister of Magic."

"Yes sir," he answered, happy to finally be finished with the whole Voldemort business once and for all.  Of course the Ministry would still be charged with rounding up the remaining Death Eaters as Harry was certain they weren't all present at the Manor, but that was minor in comparison with finally being finished with the Dark Lord. 

Seeing Harry and Ron exit the room with the two Ministry Aurors in tow, the headmaster turned to his deputy headmistress.  "Minerva, did our side suffer any casualties this evening?"

"All of the members of the strike teams have been accounted for with the exception of Severus and Hermione. We had a few people hit with minor hexes including Neville Longbottom, Fred Weasley and Oliver Wood however I am certain that they will be fine," she answered. "We have not yet heard from our perimeter teams so I cannot speak as to their status."  

"Very good," he replied, brow furrowing in concentration.  "Concentrate on bringing the perimeters teams in.  The Ministry officials should be able to handle the situation from here and I have no doubt that they will call on us for debriefing. Send anyone that is in need of medical attention back to Hogwarts where Poppy can treat them.  Everyone else should report to the Ministry's main offices.  As for Severus and Hermione, they have already returned to Hogwarts. Miss Granger was injured and is currently under Poppy's care.  She is not to be bothered by Ministry Officials until her condition has drastically improved."

"What of Severus? The Ministry will insist on taking a statement from him this evening."

"He is not to be disturbed either," the headmaster answered in a tone of voice that allowed for no objections. "He has done enough for this evening and his place is at Hogwarts with Hermione.  Tell the Ministry that he will answer their questions at a later time."

"Yes Albus," she answered, her gaze returning to the pile of ashes that lay next to them. 

"Do not dwell on it Minerva," Dumbledore told the astonished witch. "It is enough that we have finally won and that peace will be prevalent in the wizarding community once again."

"I just can't believe that after all that has happened over the last several years that it has come down to this," she told him, motioning to the ashes. "I can't believe that it is really over and that he is actually gone for good this time."

"It will take time for the reality to set in but one day, in the not so distant future, you will believe," he answered with a smile and a comforting pat on the back. "And now if you will excuse me, I have to speak with Cornelius Fudge before he manages to embroider the facts to his advantage once again."

Before she could respond, a small 'pop' sounded as Dumbledore apparated from the Manor leaving the still stunned transfigurations professor to gather together the last of their troops.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Are you certain that you are up to this?" Severus asked the witch for the fourth time in as many minutes as he helped her zip her dress robes.

"Stop worrying," Hermione admonished the potions master who had hovered over her non-stop since she had been released from the infirmary earlier that morning. "Poppy said that I was practically back to normal and I really haven't done that much today."

"Precisely my point," he answered crossly, worried that she was back to her usual stubborn self and overdoing things yet again. "I distinctly remember Poppy mentioning that you were not to overtax yourself lest you end up back in the infirmary."

"Severus," she argued lightly, "The only things that I have done so far today are attend the graduation ceremony earlier this afternoon and argue with you. You know as well as I do that tonight's leaving feast is not only a celebration of the end of the school year but also a celebration of the end of Voldemort's reign. You also know that we are both expected to be there.  I promise that I will rest as soon as it's over."

"Merlin save us from Gryffindor stubbornness," he muttered irritably, handing her a pair of high-heeled shoes. "Might I remind you _professor_, that it has only been a week since the attack at Malfoy Manor?  Thanks to your foolish stunt, that nearly killed you I might add, your magical stores have yet to be fully restored. Tonight's festivities will do nothing more than serve to drain your energies further and tire you out. It is not bad enough that Potter and Weasley will be there but now I have to contend with making certain that you follow orders for once in your troublesome life. A feat that, to the best of my knowledge, no one has been able to accomplish in all your years at Hogwarts." 

"I'll be a good little Gryffindor and sit meekly and quietly all night long _professor_," she laughed, reaching up to give him a quick kiss on the cheek before walking to the door.

"That will definitely be a first," he answered sarcastically, holding the door open and following her into the corridor toward the Great Hall.  

"And you're welcome by the way," she told him flippantly with a mischievous grin.  Seeing the questioning look on his face she clarified, "for saving your neck with my 'foolish stunt.'"

He merely glowered at her in response as they continued to make their way to join the rest of the school for the Leaving Feast. She never saw the laughter in his eyes or the slight quirk at the corner of his mouth as he followed her into the Great Hall for what promised to be a very long evening. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

TBC

Author's Note:  And so the final battle has taken place (yes I know it took three chapters to complete but Argh! My muse just wouldn't stop!) The only thing remaining is to wrap up some loose ends. Yes, that means an EPILOGUE will be coming next and that will end this particular tale.  As always, thank you for your reviews and please leave a review before clicking out of this story G   

~Jules


	36. Epilogue

Disclaimers:  Please refer to chapter one for full disclaimer write-up.

When Living is No Longer Enough 

Chapter Thirty-Six Epilogue 

"Hermione, we are going to be late!" Severus exclaimed in exasperation, pacing the floor and wondering why after sixteen years they still had the same conversation at the start of every school year. "You're a charms professor, not to mention an expert at transfiguration.  Why can't you just do some silly wand waving and be done with it?"

"Don't even go there," she said, stepping out of the bathroom and tugging at the zipper on her dress robes.  "It's the start of the school year, the least I can do is make certain that I show up properly attired!"

"And why dear wife, despite the fact that your wardrobe is brimming with robes for every occasion, do you never seem to feel that you have anything to wear?" he asked, eyebrow raised, waiting for her usual response. 

"Oh Severus," she replied patiently as if explaining something to a very small child. "It's not that I feel that I have nothing to wear. It's that I feel I have nothing appropriate to wear for this particular occasion."

Snape muttered something uncomplimentary toward women in general and slipped into his own robe.  After all, he wanted to be at his most menacing when the impressionable first years came filing in. 

"Are you certain that your irritable temper this evening stems from my supposed inability to choose something to wear and not the fact that Harry's daughter will be amongst the first years tonight?" she asked, a smile playing about her lips. 

"Do not remind me that as of today Potter's brat will plague us day in and day out with her incessant presence" he answered with a frown. "Another Gryffindor for Minerva to coddle and fawn all over no doubt."

"Relax Severus. Harry's daughter will be less trouble than our own son and somehow you have managed to tolerate his existence for the last twelve years. And don't forget that Augustus was sorted into Gryffindor last year which means that Minerva is fawning over your own son as well."

"I still can't believe he wasn't sorted into Slytherin," he muttered, hiding a small smile of pride at the mention of his son.  True, the boy had been an unexpected surprise for both of them but a very loved one nonetheless.  

"Cheer up," she told him. "Maybe you'll get lucky and Harry's daughter will be sorted into Slytherin."

"There has never been a Potter in my House and I seriously doubt there ever will be," he sneered.  "Although, it would be nice to see the look on Potter's face if such a thing was to happen."

"You are impossible," she lovingly told him and picked up an elegant perfume bottle off the vanity. The perfume had been a gift from Severus shortly after their final encounter with the Dark Lord sixteen years ago.  She had liked the lotus blossom scent so much that he had created a similar scent for her, minus the 'reptilian cocktail' of course, and she had never worn another fragrance since. 

A small sigh escaped her lips as she thought back to that time so long ago.  The Ministry had managed to round up just about all of the Death Eaters though there had been suspicions on some people's parts that a few still lurked.  Trials had been held throughout the summer and Azkaban had become home to many new wizards and witches. She and Severus had escaped most of the constant hounding on the part of the press by vacationing in Bermuda for the summer and when they returned they were bonded in matrimony amidst a few of their closest friends.  Of course it wasn't long before the press had picked up the story and plastered their images all over the newspapers but that was just what happened when you became famous for taking out the Dark Lord and winning the Order of Merlin First Class.  And she and Severus both had been awarded the honor along with several other wizards and witches who had played key roles throughout the war.       

"Are you going to put that on or are we going to stay here all night?" her husband asked sarcastically, indicating the perfume bottle. 

Bringing her thoughts back to the present she muttered a sheepish apology, sprayed the perfume on her pulse points and followed him out of their quarters to the Great Hall.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The Great Hall was decorated in its usual splendor and the first years hesitantly made their way to the front of the room, awed by the majesty of it all. Looking down on the children, Hermione smiled and remembered how nervous she had been at her own sorting so many years ago.  'No doubt Harry's daughter is feeling the same,' she thought.

Standing in front of the first years holding the battered sorting hat was Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts. At least for the duration of this year anyway.  Next year she would accept the position of Headmistress as Dumbledore claimed he was 'getting too old for this sort of thing.'

Severus would step into the position of Deputy Headmaster, a title Hermione knew he was secretly pleased with. 'Not that anyone would ever know if they were to listen to all of his grumbling,' she thought lovingly. 

It had also been decided that Hermione would take over Minerva's position as Head of Gryffindor; a fact she and her husband both found amusing considering they would be heading up rival Houses.   

The usual speeches were made, the sorting hat pulled off another one-of-a-kind song, and the children were called forward one by one to be sorted into their houses. 

Hermione smiled when she saw the petite figure of Amelia Potter standing toward the back of the group.  The child had flowing black tresses that were rather unruly like her father's but that was where the similarities to Harry stopped.  No, she had to admit that the girl was almost a carbon copy of her mother, the former Emily Saunton.

After graduation Emily had entered an Auror training program at the Ministry.  Once her training was complete, she was assigned to Harry for her on the job field experience and then later assigned as his permanent partner.  Over the course of time, the two had developed a mutual attraction and four years later they were married. Hermione knew that Harry would never forget his time with Ginny but she was happy to see that he was finally able to move on and find happiness with someone else. 

Christina Saunton had remained a fixture in Hermione's life not only through her connection as Harry's mother-in-law but because the two women had developed a mutual sense of respect for one another. It was a fact that Snape seemed to find amusing telling his wife that if she wasn't careful, she was going to end up a Slytherin herself. 

The only thing that had confused both women over the years was something that had happened after the final battle. Emily had entered the infirmary, two days after Hermione had been admitted for her injuries, carrying the velvet box that the housed the perfume bottle from Voldemort.

"Emily what's wrong?" Hermione had asked, looking at the potions master in concern.

"I don't understand it Professor Granger," she said opening the box to reveal a small pile of ashes. "I opened the box this morning and the only things in it are ashes and the note. The perfume bottle is gone."

Snape stood up and took the box from the girl's trembling hands, an expression of concern shadowing his facial features. After running his wand over the ashes several times, he looked to Hermione and shrugged. "The only thing I can think of is that it must have been destroyed at the time of Voldemort's death in much the same way that the Dark Mark was destroyed."

"What does it mean Professor Snape?" Emily had asked, wide-eyed. 

Seeing Hermione's worried expression he shook his head in silent warning to say nothing as he reassured the young Slytherin. "It means that the Dark Lord is gone and you no longer have to worry about him or his gift."

"I don't really want that," the girl told him indicating the box.

"Quite understandable," he answered reassuringly. "I will dispose of it for you. However, in the meantime I believe you have a final exam to attend in a few minutes do you not?"

"Yes professor," she answered. Taking one last look at the velvet box, she bid her teachers goodbye and hurried off to class. 

"Severus, what do you think it means?" Hermione asked once the girl had exited the infirmary. 

"I'm not certain but I would say that Voldemort had some sort of intentions toward the girl," he answered quietly. 

"But you and Christina both checked the perfume bottle for signs of dark magic and found none."

"Yes but Dumbledore said that he thought the Dark Mark was erased upon Voldemort's death because it was tied to his magical and emotional energies," the potions master answered thoughtfully.  "Perhaps this bottle was also."

"I guess we'll never know," the Gryffindor answered quietly, wondering if Voldemort actually did have some sort of hidden plans for the young girl that had just left the infirmary.  Either way, Hermione was thankful that he could no longer hurt Emily or anyone else for that matter. 

"AMELIA POTTER," the voice of Minerva McGonagall called, bringing Hermione's thoughts back to the present. A hush immediately fell over the Great Hall as the young girl stepped forward to be sorted.  

'This is it,' Amelia thought, sending 'Aunt Hermione' a nervous smile as the sorting hat was placed atop her head.  'The moment of truth.'

"Well, what have we here?" the hat murmured.  "Another Potter?  Hmmm.   Ambitious, intelligent, courageous…  Yes, it's all here in your mind but where to put you?  Gryffindor perhaps, like your father?  Hmmm… No, better be…."

"Slytherin" the hat finally shouted and the entire hall went silent staring in shock at the gaping young girl.  Stealing a quick glance at his wife, Severus was secretly amused to see her face register a look of complete surprise. He was even more amused when he looked further down the table to see the same expression plastered on the face of the ever-unflappable transfigurations professor.  Suddenly a smirk broke through his usually stern expression and Snape found himself thoroughly enjoying the sorting ceremony for the first time since he had come to Hogwarts.  

'But dad's practically the poster boy for Gryffindor and mum's not really all _that_ much of a Slytherin,' Amelia frantically thought to herself as she tried to picture her father's face upon hearing the news.  However, a loud clapping at the Slytherin table just before the entire hall erupted in polite applause interrupted her reverie.

The remainder of the feast passed without any further surprises although Hermione kept sneaking looks at her husband throughout the meal to try and ascertain his thoughts on having Harry Potter's daughter in his own House.    

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Later that evening after the feast was complete and the Heads of Houses had given their annual start of school speeches to their students, Snape decided to brooch the subject that he knew his wife was tiptoeing around.

"Hmmm, a Potter in Slytherin.  I see that Hell has finally frozen over," Severus said, knowing that Hermione hadn't fully recovered from the shock of seeing Harry Potter's petite daughter claiming her seat amongst the members of Slytherin house.

"Severus, you will be nice to her won't you?" she asked her husband a bit hesitantly.

"Nice?" he questioned softly, although the low timbers of his voice echoed throughout their chambers.  

"Well, yes you know… nice" she answered nervously.  "I mean, I know that Harry's not your favorite person and all but Amelia hasn't really done anything wrong and she does deserve to be treated based on her own merits rather that those of her father and grandfather."

Pulling Hermione close, he momentarily pondered her words, rambling though they were.  "My darling wife," he finally said, placing a trail of light kisses along the nape of her neck, "Amelia Potter is now a member of Slytherin House and she will receive all of the respect accorded to that position _despite_ her irritating parentage and Gryffindor upbringing."

Hermione felt a sense of relief wash over her at hearing the potions master's words of assurance. She was just beginning to relax into his ministrations when he paused momentarily to continue speaking.  

"Of course," Severus proceeded with a wicked glint in his eyes, "if she's even half as good at Quidditch as Potter keeps boasting, then it will be with great pleasure that I attend the matches during the next few years; especially the Slytherin-Gryffindor matches.  Come to think of it I may actually end up owing Potter a bit of thanks."

"Thanks?" Hermione questioned warily, pulling back to look directly into his face.  For some reason she didn't entirely trust the silky quality that had entered his voice. Past experience had led her to realize that such a tone usually indicated that he was up to something decidedly Slytherin.

"Yes," her husband answered agreeably, resuming his ministrations while continuing to bait his wife.  "After all, if she's as good a Seeker as I'm told and Slytherin wins the Quidditch matches, it will be a direct result of the training she has received from Potter throughout the years. I would say that deserves a word of thanks to the Boy-Who-Lived, wouldn't you?"

Suddenly the feeling of relief fled as she looked warily at her husband who was wearing one of the most wicked looking expressions she had seen from him since before they were married. Pulling the covers back on the bed, she lay down snuggling next to the Slytherin and sighed. Snape and Harry had developed a friendship over the years although House rivalries still existed and underlined many of their conversations. And while she knew her husband was teasing, she suspected Harry would be walking around in a state of shock during the next several days. She didn't even want to think about Ron's reaction to the news!

She leaned back enfolded in his arms and allowed herself to relax into the night of love making she knew was to follow.  Throughout the years this was one of the things that had never waned in their relationship and they pursued such activities often, especially now that their son was safely ensconced in Gryffindor Tower. However, a nagging feeling kept tingling at the back of her mind and somehow she knew it wasn't connected with the liberties her amorous husband was taking with her willing body. 

Allowing her mind to momentarily slip back to the sorting ceremony before giving of herself completely to the man lying next to her, she pondered the night's events. No matter how she looked at it, the addition of Amelia Potter to Slytherin House was going to cause an uproar, not so much from Snape or Harry but from everyone who had followed the career of the Boy-Who-Lived-Yet-Again from infancy through adulthood. Severus was correct when he had said there had never been a Potter in Slytherin and the wizarding community had been shocked enough as it was when Harry had fallen in love with and married a Slytherin. 

Yes, considering the past history and the ever-vigilant writings of the press, Hermione was left with only one conclusion: The next seven years were going to be turbulent at best…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~Finite Incantatem~

(The End)

Author's Note: And so we've reached the end of the story.  I know the end was kind of fluffy but I figured you all deserved it for sitting through thirty-six chapters of angst and, hopefully, some really attention grabbing cliffhangers VBG. I also hope that I've managed to answer most of your questions or concerns within the story. I would like to thank Josie421 for posting the _Angstier than Thou challenge _on WIKTT_.  _I've really enjoyed writing this story although I never imagined when I started it that it would grow to be so large or take five months to complete.  I would also like to sincerely thank each and every one of you who took the time to review this story, especially those of you who reviewed on a regular basis.  Your support and comments made me want to continue to write and hopefully, I've at least come close to meeting your expectations (smile).  

I would ask one final time that you take a moment to leave a parting review and let me know what you thought of the chapter and/or the story in general. For those of you who write HP fanfic, I look forward to reading your stories as they appear on the site and hopefully, I'll be back in the future with more stories of my own. 

Thanks Again,

~Jules 


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